FOOD FOR THOUGHT

As per news a state government is accused of putting a young lady under surveillance. Whether it was with her knowledge or not is not I will discuss but it is reported that her father has stated that he had requested Chief Minister for it as he was close to him. It is a fact that we all make use of our contacts for something or the other we wish to do. It is also reported that government stand now is that it provided security to her on her father’s request. There is nothing incorrect about it but what I would like to know is that who had foot the expenses needed for such surveillance or provision of security – did the father pay for it or was it misuse of taxpayer’s money? If it is later then in all fairness the concerned bigwigs should take responsibility and face consequences. The public has right to know.

A young law graduate lady is reported to have said that a recently retired judge under whom she had done internship had indulged in unbecoming behavior. What pains me is not only such act of a custodian of law, if true but also why did she wait for so long before bringing it out. She should have reported it as soon as it occurred without any fear of her career as I am sure it would not have been jeopardized. Why should a girl bear with such degrading behavior just for the fear of career? This act of silence encourages such persons to victimize more hapless girls.

Coming to reported physical assault on a young lady reporter by one of seniors whom she had full faith in - When will girls learn to defend themselves under such circumstances? She should have given him a kick on his face with her knee when he bent down to do what he is supposed to have done or she should have kicked him in groin or she should have bitten his ear off. She should have started banging the lift door as her hands were free which would have attracted a lot of attention and also would have deterred the alleged culprit from doing what he did.

It will take ages to make desired changes in thinking of men towards girls which again is due to our own folly but that should not stop any girl to be brave and not get scared under such situations.  

Do you think my thoughts are right? 

PHYSICAL STRESS Vs MENTAL STRESS

For the past couple of months this has been going on in my mind as to what affects a person more - physical stress or mental stress. I gave this a considerable thought as I face both. I have shared about my physical stress here, though not a very major one but it is still something I have to live with. Some of you may understand the cause of my mental stress as in a sudden urge to let it off my mind I wrote a brief post on that long ago.  What I think is shared in this post.  

There is no doubt that physical stress causes a lot of unhappiness which at times may also lead a person to contemplate suicide. After a lot of thinking I feel that if one has positive attitude thus being mentally prepared to accept whatever physical drawback it be, one can not only be happy but attain what one sets eyes on. There are numerous examples of persons who are physically challenged having achieved feats which a fully fit person may find difficult. Thus a positive attitude and mental preparedness to accept  physical stress leads a person to live happily doing whatever he or she wishes to.

Now let us have a look at mental stress. We all know that mind travels at an astonishing speed. You may give a thought to your own experience. One may be thinking of something and suddenly mind may traverse to something entirely different with no relation to what was in mind. One may be totally physically fit but if there is any mental stress, no matter how much one tries to be positive or divert mind but it will stray back to the cause of such stress without any warning making one think about it thus aggravating the stress. This is experienced personally by me as inspite of making all efforts to divert my mind, it does stray back.

What do you say on this?      

HAPPY DIWALI

MAY ALL YOUR WISHES BE FULFILLED.

THE LAW OF GARBAGE TRUCK

I read this a few minutes ago and felt that I must share it with you. So here it is and what I was planning to post today can wait.
 
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally, just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

There was a news that a state government has laid down dress code for employees. Though I agree that one should be dressed in formals for office otherwise it causes distraction but feel that this kind of order shows two things. First being failure of all of us, society as whole, to inculcate right sense of dressing for work and second that said government failed to change mindset of males to look at women with respect but is infringing in personal choice. It should rather be inculcated in seniors to not only set an example but to politely advise the one who dresses for a party rather than office in one to one basis.

Defence lawyer of Delhi gang rape case is supposed to have said that if his daughter has an affair and indulges in pre-marital sex he would burn her. If he has same attitude about his son also, then I am with him but if NO then it is people like him who create inequlity between boys & girls thus encourage young boys to do whatever they wish to, including rape, with assurance that they will get away with it.

A girl had courage to lodge complaint of molestation, true or not be judged in court, against a famous person and his prominent lawyer has started character assassination of that girl.

Over a period I have noticed that for any disturbance or riots it is the officers who get the blame but don’t we know that they are nothing but tools in the hands of politicians in power? Are they given a free hand to handle to situation as deemed fit to defuse? NO, they have to seek permission from so called government to take adequate strong steps. So who should be rightly blamed or removed?

A lot of schemes are being launched in a rush with a lot of fanfare that these are for the benefit of EWS or people who are BPL but is it not just for the sake of votes? Has anyone thought of financial implication which will lead to either these schemes dying natural death or help someone pocket major portion of funds by some way or the other. NRGES is a good example for this.

A number of politicians as well as some bureaucrats have been saying that what have soldiers done to deserve honour while laying down life as that is their duty and that they are paid for it. OK, but do you do your duty honestly for which you are paid? Do they realize that person joins Armed Forces not only for pay but has respect for the country to defend it from those who wish to harm it? Will they lay down their lives if they see someone trying to harm the country?

I have earlier written about those who break rules while driving. We all want others to follow rules but do we ourselves? How many of us avoid stopping at traffic light over zebra crossing meant for pedestrians?

Well, enough for the day. 

SAINTS OR GODMEN?

I have a lot of apprehensions about self styled Saints or so called Godmen. May be I have inherited this from my late grandmother or even my parents. My grandmother was very religious and prayed all through the day with rosary. She passed away peacefully with rosary in hand. She was not sick or anything and her going off was sudden. She used to say that God resides in everyone’s heart and it is we who have to make God’s dwelling place worth by being clean &honest at heart. She never subscribed to any Guru or self styled Godman. She used to say that anyone who shows off his or her so called proximity to God is not a true saint as that shows his or her wish to gain materialistic things through large number of followers. My parents, though religious, were also of the same opinion and did not join any such crowd of followers.

Let us see what makes one saint or Godman. In my thinking one who renounces materialistic things and devotes his or her time to God by following what God desires which is to do good for the society. Just saying prayers is not sufficient but it is the conduct which is needed alongwith that.  If one wants or accepts to have a lot of Ashrams or organizations named after him or her even by followers then where is renouncement of materialistic things?  By wearing crown etc to project image of being Godly is not what makes a person a saint. One needs to live in simple ways and be one amongst the others. He or she should not only preach but follow it also. Living or travelling in luxury is a much sought after materialist way. I think one who lives with family leading normal life doing expected chores but sincerely following God's directions is better than any self styled saint who craves for fame. 

Do think it over.

UPBRINGING SHOWS

A couple of days ago when I was returning from market after some chore there was an elderly lady, close to my age, alongwith two younger ones ahead of me, may be her daughters. There is a double carriageway main road between markets of two sectors.  I had to cross that to reach sector where I reside. They too seemed to be waiting to cross over. We waited for reasonable gap in the traffic to cross. As we started crossing the road a motorcycle at a safe distance suddenly speeded up and started doing zigzag pattern while driving. There were two young boys, may be even less the 18 years, on that. They were not wearing helmets. They zoomed past us making a S, starting from bottom  encircling the elderly lady in front and then dangerously going behind the younger ones on upper curve, making all of us more startled than scared. All this while they were making loud noises. Once they had passed, the boy on pillion looked back laughing and making unwanted gestures.

This set me thinking as to what has gone wrong with our younger generation of today. I have seen youngsters on motorcycles driving dangerously zigzagging through traffic, getting in whatever gap they find in heavy traffic even overtaking the vehicle in front from wrong side and then swerving in front of it. Few times even I had to brake hard to avoid hitting such youngsters. Most of the times they are without helmets. There have been reports in the newspapers about gangs of such motorcyclists causing havoc by indulging in stunts endangering others in traffic, specially pedestrians. A couple of years ago I had personally seen youngsters on three motorcycles doing stunts while driving on Noida e-way. The ones on pillion would stand up doing dance moments while ones driving would do all kind of stunts like zigzagging or lifting the front wheel. They were all without helmets. I am quite sure that parents of such youngsters are mostly not aware of what they do or those who know shrug it off saying “After all they are youngsters to have some fun.”  And if there is an accident resulting in death, such parents blame the traffic police.

I strongly feel that it is upto us  parents to inculcate habit of safe driving in our children, specially two wheelers and cars as well.  Why just safe driving, we should inculcate good habits like respect for others, specially girls, as well as doing their job, even studies, with heart into it and ensure that they do not do anything wrong including corruption.  

Is it not true that behavior of a person shows upbringing he or she has had as well as the family culture?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I avoid writing about religion or politics as a rule but happenings in the recent past have made me make an exception to that self imposed rule.

I firmly believe that religion is an individual’s choice. It is in ones heart and there is no need to show that one is very religious. God is one and it is we who have given different names to pray in the way we want to. God is not deaf. A silent prayer said from heart reaches God rather than all the noise we make in our unwanted efforts to send our request to God. We project ourselves as followers of whatever religion we believe in but indulge in acts which no religion would ever preach. Unfortunately some leaders with eye of what they can gain misguide the gullible youth in the name of religion. Can anyone enlighten me if there is any religion which preaches violence against unarmed, old, women or children going about their normal duties? Don’t we think that any person who does this needs to be penalized? I know our police has earned notoriety by indulging in corruption, favoritism and fake encounters to please bosses – political mainly. Police reforms is another subject which needs to be paid attention by each and everyone of us. Even keeping shortcoming of police in view, does it make us correct in supporting one who has indulged in such ghastly activities against humans? I know that it is difficult to come to terms that our near and dear one may be wrong but we should think with open & logical mind for the sake of humanity as whole.

Politics, we all know is dirty as we have been hearing about this right from our childhood – family politics, society politics, school politics, college politics, office politics etc etc. I have very serious doubts if any political leader ever thinks of what nation needs for progressing. In my opinion each & everyone of them first think of themselves, then kith & kin followed by party and in such cluttered mind there is no space for national interest. All they see is CHAIR and how to garner votes to get that. Do they ever think rationally about what they do, misuse of authority or power by promising what not, just to get votes may damage the fabric of nation. Again who is to blame for this -  WE the people who accept all this with attitude HOW DOES IT MATTER TO ME?

Food for thought, isn’t it? 

WE COME ALONE AND GO ALONE ALSO

Every morning I think that I must get back to writing but visits to doctors, keeping track of medicines timings ( not only for self but my wife also ) and our dog keeps my mind in spin. There are a lot of ideas which generate as I observe so many happenings around when I take our dog for walk or visit market as I still continue shouldering my normal responsibilities as much as I can. These activities keep me tired not only physically but mentally too. Then the situation I am facing or rather we are facing makes me feel more so. Anyway one has to face what life throws.

This makes me firmly believe that one has to face whatever be it at ownself, though there are close ones, relatives as well as friends, who offer support and sympathies but at the end of the day it is one who has to do what needs to be done for own happiness or well being. They may offer physical help or suggest ways to overcome stress but one has to control own mind from wandering off to negative side. If one wishes to have stressfree life one needs to keep positive attitude for a start. One needs to take health issues as those are and take precautions plus medicines as prescribed by doctors. Next one needs to have an open mind and think of whatever happens from point of view of one whom one may blame for such events. That is the way to understand whys and hows. A frank logical talk with other person helps if that person also wishes to resolve the issue. Remember that we come alone to this world and go alone also.

Well, enough of GYAAN ( preaching ) for the day, isn’t it?     

ISN'T THIS POSSIBLE?

OMG, it is one month since I wrote anything and hardly visited my friends here. Let me try to make up for that.

I had started writing this post before I became unwell, so in all fairness I thought I should complete it.

“ I was very small, may be just a few weeks old, when I was separated from my mother and siblings. When I had opened my eyes and saw the world, I realized that we were 5 siblings. We all were black like our mother and looked alike but only I had white patch on my tail. We used to snuggle upto our mother who used to feed us with milk. We all squirmed to get in better position. It was just a day after I had started seeing everything that I was picked up by giant of a person and taken away.

At my new home there are number of other persons around who squealed in delight on seeing me tumbling around but I missed my mother and siblings. These persons look funny as they are big in varying sizes and walk on their hind feet. There is only one small one who walks on all fours like me and he keeps chasing me all the time. A few days ago he also has started standing on hind feet, though falls down often. When he takes tumbling steps on hind feet, all big ones make lot of noise clapping. Even I made efforts to stand on hind feet to please them. I have learnt to do so after a lot of effort but for a short while. At such times those near me laugh and offer me my favourite tidbits. They all pick me up often and cuddle me making funny sounds. I found that if I reciprocated by wagging my tail I am mostly rewarded with some tidbits which I like. Now I have got used to them and have started enjoying my time.

They have even made a soft place for me to sleep. Water in a pot is kept next to it and also another one in which they put things for me to eat. They give me tasty food and milk also. They never let me go out at my own. Always someone puts something around my neck with a rope in it before taking me out for walk. At times they remove the rope and play with me on the grass in front of the house. Life seems to be happy presently. “

Don’t you think your pet may be having such thoughts?

YOUR SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE.

Ramesh and I were classmates in school during our final years. That time it was Higher Secondary , 10 + 1. Both the final examinations, for 10^th as well as 11^th , were conducted by University unlike CBSE now. Though after school we parted ways to go for whatever career we chose but remained in touch even when we were in different cities. No mobiles or internet e-mails but good old Inland letters through Postal Department. We met at least couple of times a year. After I retired and settled in Delhi we had opportunity to meet more often as he too is settled here. We live in different localities but that did not deter us for meeting at least once a week in club. Needless to say that we were together on special occasions in each family.

Like us they also have two children , elder being daughter and younger a son. Daughter was married about 14 years ago and went off to USA with her husband. She had just completed graduation then. She took up higher studies there and  started working thereafter. They visited annually in the initial stages but later once they had children it became little infrequent due to their own commitments. Ramesh and his wife visited them a couple of times, last being about 4 years ago. They too like us believe in letting children have their own life without any interference but support as required.

Their son, Pawan, dilly dallied and consented to marry early last year. Ramesh had told him to let them know if he was keen on someone but the boy left it to parents to select. They found a girl from family with similar background. He insisted for son to meet the girl and decide. So Pawan and Disha met after office hours and spent an hour or so together in a Coffee House. They both consented. They got married in March last year.  Of course, all of us attended the wedding.

A couple of months later I found Ramesh to be in a little pensive mood when we met in club. During third such meeting while we were sipping beer I asked him why he seemed lost in his thoughts. That is when he shared something which I least expected.

He told me that Disha was not yet settled down inspite of their best efforts. She had been told by him as well as Pawan before marriage that they all would be together as a family and she was most welcome as new member. She was advised that if she faced any difficulty she should not hesitate to share it. He told that she had been insisting for Pawan to move out and live independently. He added that her father seemed to be interfering as he also had told Ramesh a couple of times to let Pawan & Disha live at their own. He said that his reply was straightforward that it was upto Pawan to decide and they would not interfere. Pawan had categorically stated that he would not leave his parents. He said that this caused undue tension between the young couple which affected the harmony of the house. He said that he and his wife were keen to see Pawan & Disha happily settled. They were thinking how to ensure that without making any outward show of it.  He asked me for advice. We discussed some ways including frank talk with her in presence of her father but ruled that out. Ultimately I told him to take his own decision after giving thought to every aspect.        

A week later he told me that he had informed Pawan that their ancestral property at native place was likely to be usurped by tenants due to their neglect and their presence is a must to save it. So he with his wife would be moving there in a week or so. Though Pawan suggested that they make frequent visits there to oversee the property but he insisted to shift there for some time. So they moved to native place leaving Pawan and Disha independent in the house here. We went to see them off when they drove away. Pawan kept in touch with me on regular basis, calling up at least once a week. They also visited us at times.

After couple of weeks of shifting there, Ramesh started a remedial school. The idea was to keep children from underprivileged class, who mostly go to state run schools, interested in studies by revising what had been taught in school and help them to do home work. As per him a lot of such students are taken off studies by parents once they fail a couple of times and made to work. He charged a meager amount of Rs 20 pm from students but put such funds back into school by giving them stationary or books as well as snacks.  His efforts are bearing fruit and they have a large number of students.

Disha is friendly with a young lady, Simi, in her office. She did not know that Simi stays in a housing complex close to ours and is known to us. Her father in law and I had been together in one of the organizations and keep in touch. Simi alongwith her husband and young son of 3 years are with his parents, my old colleague. It was only when Ramesh had confided his problem in me that I learnt the organization Disha worked in. So I requested Simi to keep an eye on her but without letting my name out. That is when she told me that Disha is already friendly with her and confides a lot in her. She told me that even before marriage Disha used to talk of having an independent life and used to wonder as to how did Simi stay with in laws. Simi said that she has been telling her that it is a boon to have elders with you as they are such a support in every way. On Disha’s saying that there would be so much of interference, she told that it is upto those involved to develop trust by mutual understanding and adjustments. She also told me that Disha’s father interferes a lot.

Last week Pawan told us that Disha is in family way and there are some complications. Doctor has advised her not to strain herself much. She wanted to shift to her parents place and wanted Pawan also to shift as she did not want to leave him alone. He refused. Then she asked her mother to be with her but she showed her inability as she did not want to leave husband and son alone. So now she wanted Ramesh and his wife to come back. Pawan had spoken to him but Ramesh showed reluctance due to his running remedial school.  Pawan wanted me to persuade his father to come back.

What do you suggest Ramesh and his wife should do? Should they abandon students who are doing well in their respective schools and come back? It is felt that once Disha’s need is over she would again want them to go away.

In my opinion Ramesh may keep looking after school and visit on alternate week ends while his wife may come back to take care of Disha. I know it will be a strain on both of them.

SO RIGHT, ISN'T IT?

I am sorry that I have not been able to regularly visit my friends here for a long time nor I have written something worthwhile. It is not just the physical well being which is causing this , that I have to live with,  but I am also under a tremendous emotional stress for the past four months or so due to some factors which some of you are aware of. May be I will share that with you all here to let it off my mind. Please bear with me.

 I read this story recently and felt that I should share this with you all.

One should always be Willing To Learn Throughout The Life

One truck driver was doing his usual load delivery at a mental hospital, by parking his vehicle beside an open drain. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to return from the mental hospital. He jacked up the truck and removed the flat tyre to fix the spare tyre.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the 4 bolts in the open drain. As he cannot fish the bolts in the open drain, he started to panic as to what should be done?

Just then, one patient happened to walk past him and asked the driver as to why he was looking troubled. The driver thought to himself, since there is nothing much he can do or this mental joker can. Just to keep the bugging away, the truck driver informed the whole episode to the mental patient and gave a helpless look.

The patient just laughed at the truck driver and said you just cannot even fix such a simple problem? “No wonder you are destined to remain a truck driver for life”.

The truck driver was astonished to hear such a compliment from a mental guy. “Here is what you can do” said the mental guy… “take one bolt from each of the remaining 3 tyres / wheels and fix it on to this tyre. Then drive down to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones. Isn’t it simple my friend”.

The truck driver was so impressed with this quick fix answer and asked the patient “How come you are so smart and intelligent and you are here at the mental hospital?”

The patient replied “Hello friend! I stay here because I am crazy but not stupid”.

No wonder, there are some people, who behave like the Truck Driver, thinking that others are just stupid. So, guys, though you all are learned and wise, but, just watch out, there could be some CRAZY guys in our professional / personal lives, who could give us lot of quick fixes and brush our wisdom.

(Moral of the story :

Just do not conclude that you know everything and do not judge people by mere looks/ attire stature or academic background!)

BE CAREFUL

A couple of days ago as I returned from market, guard at gate stopped me as he wanted to ask something. He told me that he had received a sms telling that he had been selected for first prize of Rs 2 lacs. On my query he confirmed that he had not purchased any lottery ticket or sent an entry by post or taken part in any competition. He further added that when he replied to that sms he was asked to deposit Rs 20 thousand in a particular account so his prize can be sent. He replied in negative on my asking if he had deposited that amount. He requested for my advice. I told him not to ever fall for such ruses adding that these are frauds and he would have lost his money had he deposited it.

This took me back by almost ten years. I had received a mail from a very reputed bank that I have been selected for award of Rs 5 lacs for my regular usage of e-mail account. It was really tempting so I replied as to what was to be done by me to receive this amount. I was asked to give my account number with bank name and branch etc. Being little cautious, I gave the information of one of my dormant accounts which had just about Rs 100. I received a reply that the money will be transferred to that account on receipt of Rs 50 thousand as tax on prize money which they have to pay to income tax department. I was given an account number of a private bank. I asked as to why that amount cannot be deducted from Rs 5 lacs and balance sent to my account. I was told that it was not as per their policy and I need to pay first. Now I knew that it was all fraud. I visited the said bank and got name of account holder with his address & telephone number by making a palatable story. I called that number and gave him my piece of mind saying that I am informing the police.

These kind of messages have gone up a lot since then. Not a day goes when I do not receive either a mail or sms about similar awards. I just delete the mails or sms without even bothering to read. Shocking is that names of very reputed organizations are used by such persons.

Now I found another way of fraud by such persons. I was on internet when pop up from a reputed organization url came informing that I can win a prize by answering just a few simple questions. Out of curiosity I clicked on NEXT to be informed that there were 4 cars costing Rs 5 lacs on payment of just Rs 50 thousand as first prize, 6 Smartphones costing Rs 40 odd thousand on payment of Rs 999 as second and similarly more items as third & fourth prizes. I answered the questions. I was then informed that first prizes have all gone and there are just 2 Smartphones left asking if I was keen. On my confirmation, I was asked to give my address where the said phone could be sent and asking me to pay the said amount online. Now I knew that I would be bidding goodbye to my money. I gave my address asking them to courier it on To Pay Basis and received no confirmation. So I just closed the link. I find more such offers at times.

I suggest that be careful of such tricks of depriving you of your money.     

ETIQUETTES WHILE KEEPING PETS

How does it feel when a big dog like this charges at you? We have been keeping dogs for a long time, over 30 years now, not counting my childhood time when my parents also had dogs. I do understand them and can to an extent control even an unknown dog, though I got bitten once by a small one at my friend’s place when I was petting him as he was sitting close to me and rubbing his body against my legs.

I take our dog for walks after her meals. We keep her free at home, no collar even but when we take her out we always keep her on leash though she is a small one – Cocker Spaniel.

I meet a lot of other persons also walking their dogs and most of the times as we greet each other, even by wave of hand, we find that even our dogs wag tails looking at each other.

Recently I found a gentleman walking his German Sheppard without leash. I know that they respond to commands very well but still as curious animal they too would like to come closer to other pets. This dog charged at us and even ignored master’s calls. As he came closer I said NO in raised voice. He stood about a couple of feet away from us. Our dog seemed frightened and was cowering behind me. There is a school nearby that place where a lot of small children are on the road walking to school. What would happen if some child gets scared and runs? Would that dog not charge after that child? Why don’t people take these possibilities in view when they unleash their dogs? I had no option but to tell that person forcefully to keep his pet on leash when on walk.

This reminded me of another incident which happened almost 25 years ago. I had gone to a cloth show room. As I was looking for what I wanted a huge Labrador came to me and started sniffing at my legs. I knew that he must be getting smell of our dog. I spoke to him in friendly tone and he got on his hind feet putting his front paws on my shoulders making efforts to lick my face. All this while he was wagging tail madly. Everyone in the shop was scared. His master came in and took charge. He happened to be a known person staying in our locality. I advised him not to leave his dog free like that in market as a lot many persons would get scared.

I strongly feel that if you keep a pet, you have to take other’s reactions also into account.  

NEED AND GREED

This one makes so much sense...

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village. 

A tourist complimented the local fishermen 
on the quality of their fish and asked 
how long it took him to catch them. 

"Not very long." they answered in unison. 

"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" 

The fishermen explained that their small catches were 
sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families. 

"But what do you do with the rest of your time?" 
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, 
and take siestas with our wives. 
In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. 

We have a full life." 

The tourist interrupted, 
"I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! 
You should start by fishing longer every day.
You can then sell the extra fish you catch. 
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat." 

"And after that?" 
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, 
you can buy a second one and a third one 
and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. 
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, 
you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants 
and maybe even open your own plant. 

You can then leave this little village and move to   Mexico City , Los Angeles , or even   New York City ! 

From there you can direct your huge new enterprise." 

"How long would that take?"   

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.   

"And after that?"   

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"     

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen. 

"After that you'll be able to retire, 
live in a tiny village near the coast, 
sleep late, play with your children, 
catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife
and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."   

"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.

 

And the moral of this story is: 

Know where you're going in 

life....   


you may already be there 

MATHEMATICS

I went to market today with Rs 1500 in my pocket. I am giving below how much I spent and what was balance each time.

                SPENT                         BALANCE

                  340                             1160

                  680                              480

                  330                              150

                  150                                  0

           ___________              ____________

TOTAL   1500                               1790

           ___________             _____________

Can someone please tell me where did my balance of Rs 290 go?

RESULTS OF UNWANTED HURRY

Today morning I was going to the market on some errand when I saw two cars which had met with accident at traffic lights. Both were damaged badly. In one the front was badly damaged while in other it was left side. On checking I learnt that the car which had damage on side had stated crossing the intersection when the lights turned green but just halfway a car from left side who’s lights had turned red came at high speed and smashed into it. Fortunately no one was badly hurt. It was a clear case of jumping red light by the second car which resulted in this accident. The person driving this was a young man in early twenties and seemed well educated.

This set me thinking that when we see green light ahead of us in an intersection we try to rush to pass before it turns red. We do not realize that if we speed up and it turns red, there may not be enough time to stop the car while those who get green light would also rush to move. There have been number of accidents due to this reason but I do not know when will we learn to take it easy. This is also the cause of many cars stopping on zebra crossing blocking the path for pedestrians, if not hitting someone trying to cross the road.        

WHY BEHAVE SELFISHLY ?

I had told you all about a friend who missed his grandson and the reasons for that in my posts Why We Complicate Life? (14 July, 2012) and Does One Think Rationally When Depressed? (10 January, 2013). I am so sad to inform that he is no more.

As I started feeling better so I took over my duties of taking care of our dog. I took her for walks, though short as per my own condition. Also I started doing other work like going to market or bank etc but at slow pace so as not to tire myself. I met him a few times. When I did not see him for more than a couple of days, I called up on his mobile number. It was answered by his wife who told me that he was hospitalized.

 I went to see him yesterday. Doctors had told that he had had mild heart attack and was not responding well to treatment for reasons unknown. When I met him he was half awake and recognized me. His eyes were most of the times fixed at the door as if expecting someone. Though he did not speak much but his eyes said all. He was waiting for his grandson to come who had not as his mother did not visit him. I consoled him asking him to get well soon so we could see what could be done to resolve the issue. Later in the evening I learnt that he had passed away in sleep.

Today I went to their house to pay my condolences. His daughter in law was there wailing loudly. Her husband and m i l were unhappy about her behavior but seemed to have kept quiet due to so many people being there. As we were moving out to go for cremation, I crossed her. She was wailing loudly but I could hardly see any tears. I could not resist telling her as to what is the use of wailing now when she did not care for his happiness while he was alive.     

PAST FLASHES

It is told that when one is near his or her end all past happening flash in mind. I have found it to be so true. When I became unwell and was in bed, I could not even read newspaper or see TV. In hospital I was put on IV for medicines as well as glucose etc so I was mostly confined to bed. How much can one sleep even if semi conscious but the mind never stops working. All past events kept flashing as if I was watching movie. Good or bad both. I do not claim to be a saint but I felt satisfied that overall I found that I had not harmed anyone intentionally. 

Do share your such experiences, if you have any.

PS : I am feeling much better with heavy medication though still far from full recovery. I shall reply to all comments on my previous 3 posts in the next few days. Please bear with me. 

BACK HOME

I am writing after exactly a month, out of which I was hospitalized for 3 weeks. After doctor’s advice and some tests, I was admitted to hospital. I am back home now but still recovering and need rest at short intervals. It may take some time before am fit enough to visit you all as well as reply to all comments individually. Kindly bear with me.    

UNWELL

I have not been able to visit you all , reply to comments and wish some of you on BDs / WAs as I have been confined to bed due to multiple reasons main being loss of appetite leading to weakness. I have not been able to check mail, read newspaper or even watch TV. Recovery is very slow. Hope to come back a s a p. 

LETTER TO GOD

Does the following letter remind you of any time you may have had similar thoughts?

“ Dear God,

I am sure that you know I am writing this to you. It is known that you exist in many forms and have many names but I think basically you are ONE who runs the whole world. Some persons do not believe you exist but when they are in deep trouble most of them do utter your name in one way or the other. You are aware of all that goes on. It is said that you know what is best for everyone but how come that you deny basic happiness to someone though it is good for one? You are said to test each of us by making us go through some rough time but I am sure you also know how far can one take that stress and when it goes beyond how come you do not send any relief? We know that our actions are controlled by you and it is said that we are penalized for our sins by making us go through tough times but why so as those actions of sin are also scripted by you, isn’t it? Come on God, I know you are smiling at my ignorance but don’t you think that we the puppets in your hands wonder at times as to why does one go through rough times? I know that you reside in heart of everyone of us and then you must be aware of our heartfelt wishes. Then how come you ignore sincere prayers from heart for some happiness? I know you may be very busy in your work but you also have superpowers, so please do listen to someone who is at wits end and may be he or she is keen to be recalled.

Waiting for your mercy,

Your follower ”    

WHAT DO YOU SAY ?

Once again I am sharing what I read for your views.

"At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

 Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

 The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group.

 Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

 The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.

 When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

  Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

 If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?

 He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

 It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

 I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

 It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

 More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

 Lessons learnt from the story:

I understood I should not react in life. I should always respond.

The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded."

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of, just and right to save a situation from going out of hand, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress or hurry.

Life is too short to be engrossed in hatred and enmity.  “Be nice and smile to everyone you meet. You don't know what they are going through, and they may need that smile. And treasure it.”

DOES ONE THINK RATIONALLY WHEN DEPRESSED?

Last year in July I had shared with you about an elderly man missing his grandson as his d i l had gone to her parents place with her son. I had been meeting him off and on but not very regularly as he had become little infrequent to visit park when children are at play.

A couple of days ago I met him while returning from market. We stopped to talk to each other for a while. He looked very depressed and his concentration was straying. I learnt that his grandson had still not come back as his d i l was still not willing to return. He confided that it was basically due to her father’s interference. He had tried to speak to him on this issue but was spoken to very arrogantly by her father that till his son shows some improvement she would not return. He told that he felt sad to see his son leading this kind of lonely life and also that he missed his grandson a lot. I was alarmed when he absently added that he was even contemplating putting an end to his life while blaming her and her father for his action.  This shook me up and I felt that it was time that he was told as to what his action may lead to for others. I invited him for a cup of tea. He was hesitant but I insisted and brought him home.

I then spoke to him about his absent minded utterance and he confirmed that this had crossed his mind several times as he felt so sad without his grandson with him. I told him that had he realized that by this action he would be putting his grandson’s entire life into jeopardy. He was surprised and asked me as to how could that be. So I had to tell him the hard facts. I told him that he would get over all what he is going through but did he imagine if his son would ever forgive his wife or her father for this. Where would that leave his grandson? His d i l and her father would be tied up in court case and would they not take out their anger on that little boy? Even if did not blame them in his suicide note, still his son would not accept his wife back as in his heart he would know the reason for this act. So his grandson would still be at the mercy of his d i l and he father. He was astonished that he did not think in this way. I told him that when one is in depressed state of mind his or her thinking gets narrow. I then requested him to take up some hobby which consumes time. I also asked him to join me for morning walks and in park during evening time. He agreed to this and told me that he used to read a lot but had almost given up. He added that he would try to keep busy by reading as much as he could.  Since that day I have been meeting him regularly and found to my satisfaction that he seemed to have overcome that feeling.

This set me thinking that when one contemplates such drastic action does he or she even think beyond self escape from problem and what legacy will be left behind. Also why should such a situation ever arise? Don’t near & dear ones make out that the person is in such a depressed state of mind and take remedial steps? Is EGO of anyone more important that healthy relationship and life of someone so close?

DAUGHTER OF EACH ONE OF US

I am sharing a poem with you all. How I wish I knew the one who composed this as I would like to bow to him or her and kiss his or her hand for such a heart touching poem :

To My Unknown Daughter

She died yesterday in a land far away,

From the rapacious wolves: a fatally wounded prey.

Animals with no love, shame or pity,

Just claws of lust and fangs of fury.

*

She died yesterday in an antiseptic city.

Whilst our celebrities mouthed inanities.

They termed her a brave-heart, India’s daughter,

Knowing their own was safe, in a secured quarter.

*

She died yesterday and she died today.

She will die again tomorrow and every day.

Because that’s her fate and that’s our will.

Nothing ever changes here and nothing ever will.

*

So sleep my dear girl, sleep the sleep of the just.

Sleep in a place better than the one you were born in.

And while you are asleep, dream a better dream,

Than the one that was so brutally torn.

*

WELCOME 2013

 

May you all have a VERY SAFE and Happy 2013.