Last year in July I had shared with you about an elderly man missing his grandson as his d i l had gone to her parents place with her son. I had been meeting him off and on but not very regularly as he had become little infrequent to visit park when children are at play.
A couple of days ago I met him while returning from market. We stopped to talk to each other for a while. He looked very depressed and his concentration was straying. I learnt that his grandson had still not come back as his d i l was still not willing to return. He confided that it was basically due to her father’s interference. He had tried to speak to him on this issue but was spoken to very arrogantly by her father that till his son shows some improvement she would not return. He told that he felt sad to see his son leading this kind of lonely life and also that he missed his grandson a lot. I was alarmed when he absently added that he was even contemplating putting an end to his life while blaming her and her father for his action. This shook me up and I felt that it was time that he was told as to what his action may lead to for others. I invited him for a cup of tea. He was hesitant but I insisted and brought him home.
I then spoke to him about his absent minded utterance and he confirmed that this had crossed his mind several times as he felt so sad without his grandson with him. I told him that had he realized that by this action he would be putting his grandson’s entire life into jeopardy. He was surprised and asked me as to how could that be. So I had to tell him the hard facts. I told him that he would get over all what he is going through but did he imagine if his son would ever forgive his wife or her father for this. Where would that leave his grandson? His d i l and her father would be tied up in court case and would they not take out their anger on that little boy? Even if did not blame them in his suicide note, still his son would not accept his wife back as in his heart he would know the reason for this act. So his grandson would still be at the mercy of his d i l and he father. He was astonished that he did not think in this way. I told him that when one is in depressed state of mind his or her thinking gets narrow. I then requested him to take up some hobby which consumes time. I also asked him to join me for morning walks and in park during evening time. He agreed to this and told me that he used to read a lot but had almost given up. He added that he would try to keep busy by reading as much as he could. Since that day I have been meeting him regularly and found to my satisfaction that he seemed to have overcome that feeling.
This set me thinking that when one contemplates such drastic action does he or she even think beyond self escape from problem and what legacy will be left behind. Also why should such a situation ever arise? Don’t near & dear ones make out that the person is in such a depressed state of mind and take remedial steps? Is EGO of anyone more important that healthy relationship and life of someone so close?