Sunday, September 27, 2009


This is last of 4 posts, each with different circumstances, I am putting up to bring out how youngsters get into situations without realizing what their actions could lead to. This one deals with how even well educated who have blind faith in something or the other may get into such situation.

My name is Devi. I am 28, married for 4 years and have a little over 2 years old daughter. I come from a very orthodox and conservative family. To give you a little background let me tell you that my grandfather was born prematurely and chances of his survival were put at minimum. So his mother took a vow to pray for a particular deity, keep fasts and give up non-vegetarian food though she was very fond of it. He survived. He was youngest of seven children, others being all girls. There was no looking back after that for journey on spiritual road. He too took to religious activities like duck takes to water. He was a teacher and retired as Inspector of Schools. My father too inherited his fascination for spirituality. He too was in teaching line but in college. Now he is retired and devotes most of his time reading some religious scripture or the other. He too has 3 elder sisters. My mother is housewife and very pious. There was no restriction for me to study. I graduated in Sanskrit Honours and followed it up with masters. I had chosen this language as I wanted to study religious scriptures in original without relevance being lost in translations. I also took up teaching. Having been in such atmosphere I too am very religious and believe a lot in astrology. I am married into a like minded family. My husband is in business for exporting ethnic Indian wear. He too is only son with 2 sisters who are married. We observe festivals strictly in accordance with laid down rituals. I too keep fasts as per advice of our priest.

We decided to have only 2 children and my mother in law is keen on grandson. So she consults various astrologers and priests. I too have a lot of faith in conjunction of different planets and influence thereof on our lives. Presently due to economic downturn my husband is facing some difficulty in his business. As such he spends a lot of time at work trying to find more customers. He is under lot of stress. I make all efforts to help him out and de-stress. Recently my mother in law came to know of some Guruji who has reputation of offering solutions to hurdles faced by people. It was also told that he mostly stayed abroad as he has very large number of foreigners as disciples. We went together to see him. He is around mid 40s and well built. He had a lot of followers at his place that day. On hearing us, for grandson by her and business difficult by me, he told us that he would study our charts and let us know on our next visit as to what should be done. As told by him, we went to see him after a week. He told us that there is mismatch between planetary positions between my and my husband’s charts. On her asking, he told that I need to pray for a particular deity, keep fast on certain day of week and have to perform a ritual prayer. Praying for the deity and keeping fast was all fine but for ritual prayer I had to be alone on day and time given by him. He assured that after that everything would be in our favour. My mother in law agreed and asked me to go ahead.

Three days ago as advised by him I went to his place alone in the morning. There were two of his helpers, a male and a female. He asked me if I had followed his advice not to eat anything till ritual was over. On confirmation we started the ritual with him sitting on one side and I opposite to him with helpers sitting little distance behind me. He recited some prayers and lit a fire in a pot close to me. Once the fire got going, he put some material in it. The whole ritual took maybe just about 15 minutes or so. I was feeling dizzy due to fragrance arising out of burning material. He offered me some Prasad and soon after eating that I do not know what came over me. Though I was in senses but had no control over myself. It was as if I was watching everything as a spectator. His helpers guided me to another room where they disrobed me. They made me sit on a bed and left. I was conscious but could not lift even a finger of my own freewill. He came in and undressed. Everything happening was registering in my mind but I could not do anything due to trance like state. He then proceeded to touch me around and rape me. Though I was shocked but did not resist due to my state. I could also feel that there was some movement in the room. It may rather have looked as if I was co-operating in his act. After he left his helpers came in. The woman made me drink something and after a while I felt normal. She told me that I should not say anything about this to anyone or they will circulate video recording they had made in which I appear to be a willing partner. They then told me to dress up and leave, warning me to remember what they had told me about the video. I was in daze and just followed what was told.

The return journey took almost an hour due to congested traffic which gave me time to ponder over what happened. The reality hit me hard that I can not tell anyone about it as firstly no one would believe me and secondly I would face being ostracized which I could not afford for the sake of my daughter. At the same time I very strongly felt that I should not let this scoundrel get away with his heinous and treacherous act. I composed myself and carried on as if all was normal. I am sure there must be some more women who have fallen prey to him. A school friend of mine was tortured by her in laws and she had sought help from a NGO. I got contact of that NGO through her and met the elderly lady who runs it. On hearing my plight she too felt very shocked and angry. She knows high officials in administration and police. She told me that she would consult them confidentially without revealing my identity. I am sure we will find a way to get that blot on the name of humanity brought to book. I will not be able to have mental peace till I see him paying for his dastardly acts.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


This is 3rd of 4 posts, each with different circumstances, I am putting up to bring out how youngsters get into situations without realizing what their actions could lead to. Basically it happens under sense of romantic euphoria and without proper application of mind. This fiction is based on few such cases reported by media. I have put this up as in spite of having heard of such cases and the risks involved, the youngsters still continue to be in secluded places for being together leading to girl having an emotional breakdown if such untoward incident happens.

I am Ruby. I come from a good business family. Ours is joint family with grandparents and 2 uncles with their wives & children. I have an elder sister, younger brother and 5 cousins. I am 21. I had all the love and care right from the time I can remember. I never had to ask for anything twice. My grandparents are so dotting. My grandmother used to tell me stories during my formative years of childhood which always had a lesson to be learnt. This was helpful in my all around growth with morals imbedded in my mind. Though we are a liberal family, we have set of principles which we value. I had gone to a very reputed school and then college. I am quite tall and good looking. I had won Miss School as well as Miss College titles. I have vast number of friends of both genders, some very close. I have set my own limits in friendships. I completed graduation this year and started going to office with my father to help him in his business.

I have known Jeet since childhood as he is son of my father’s close friend and another reputed businessman. He is 3 years my senior. They also are a joint family with number of members. We get along well. He is very well mannered and liked by all of my family. His grandmother spoke to my grandmother and it was decided that we would make a good couple. So we got engaged 3 months ago with marriage slated for November this year. Since we are engaged we could move about alone whenever we wanted to, not that we did not go out earlier but that was mostly in company. This was first time that I felt closeness with a boy. I have been hugged and kissed on cheek by friends but nothing more than that. After a few outings we realized that we have so much common. Even he too has not been really close to any girl. It was a new experience for both, making us little curious to explore. Of course we had vowed that we will save going all the way till after marriage as special treat. As we do not get much privacy at home we after our outings spend some time at relatively secluded places and indulge in smooching and all in the car. He has a SUV.

Early last month he had gone abroad for two weeks on a business trip. Though we kept in touch I felt his absence and was yearning for his company. On his return we went out for lunch and movie on Sunday. After that we wanted to spend some time alone together. He drove towards outskirts of town and we found a side road which did not seem to be much frequented. He drove some distance away from the highway. We got into rear seat after parking the car little away from the road in a dirt track. It was just about sunset time and not yet dark. We got talking and of course little smooching.

We did not realize how much time had passed. Suddenly I felt some movement outside and on looking we found our car surrounded by some men. First thing which came in mind was “Oh God! Not me” as thoughts of news I had read at times of girls being molested at lonely places under similar circumstances. We quickly corrected our messed up appearance. Jeet though nervous was still not in panic. By now one of the men knocked at the window asking us to come out. We had no option as they had Lathis. When we came out one of them who seemed to be the leader asked as to what were we doing. Jeet tried to tell that we are engaged and offered money but this did not cut ice with them. We asked them to forgive us and we would go away never to come back again. This is when I noticed that they all were eying me. There were 8 of them and all seemed to be in twenties or so. I pleaded with folded hands to spare us but they just laughed. One of them passed a lewd comment on me and Jeet took a step towards him. He was grabbed by 2 of them. Another one hit him in stomach with end of his lathi. Jeet doubled up. He was again hit on his hips. I started crying and screaming hysterically. One of them grabbed me from behind putting his hand over my mouth. He was very strong and lifted me off my feet carrying me away into the field. I was kicking my legs and trying to get free. He whispered menacing in my ears that if I struggle it will be worse for me. I saw he was joined by 3 more. Rest of them were with Jeet. One of them told me to undress unless I wanted them to use force thus damaging the clothes. All this time I was crying and pleading for mercy. In the twilight I could make out Jeet sitting on ground with 4 of them surrounding him. He seemed hurt. The one who was holding me released me asking me to hurry up or they would start beating my companion. I had no option but to comply with their demand crying and pleading all the time. That is when the nightmare started. I almost lost my senses as each one of them took turns to ravage me. After what looked like eternity they seemed to have had their fill and brought Jeet where I was lying almost unconscious. They left us together telling that if we try anything they would be back to teach us a lesson. As if to show they meant what they said one of them gave lathi blows to Jeet on the thighs. It was a long time after they left that I could control my sobbing while Jeet was holding me close consoling me. He helped me to dress up and almost carried me to the car. On reaching our car we found that it was past midnight. Our mobiles showed a lot of miss calls from our homes. I was in no condition to call back and was crying continuously. He spoke to his father and told them briefly what had happened.

We drove to highway and waited for someone to arrive. Our parents came after half an hour or so with family lawyer. My mother hugged me consoling me while I could barely hear our lawyer telling me that we need to lodge complaint with police. I was like a zombie. We went to a police station but we had to shuttle between two police stations. I learnt later that they were trying to establish as to under jurisdiction of which police station that area came. Once complaint was registered I was sent for medical check up. All this was so horrifying as the questions asked were so hurting and demeaning. During medical examination I was totally overcome with shame. We got back home next day just before afternoon. I locked myself up in my room crying and feeling so impure. My grandmother forced me to open the door after a while telling if I do not she would get it forced open. She held me close and told me to pull myself together.

I have undergone counseling sessions by psychologists for the past one month and all my family as well as Jeet have been very supportive but still am unable to come to terms. His family too has been comforting me and telling me to forget this as a bad dream. Police rounded up some men and I was asked to identify them. I could do so for 3. I felt so angry when I saw them that I screamed at them. The rest of them were also caught after interrogating these men. The case is now going on. But I am still not at peace with myself and feel I have let my family and Jeet down.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I am feeling so, what should I say, distressed. I despise myself at what happened. I need to talk to someone but am not sure if my parents or brother will understand me. Even my best friend may not believe me. Let me take it off my mind and see if I can muster courage to seek guidance.

I am Shuchi. I am 22 and working in a multinational company as Sales Co-ordinator. I completed my graduation last year and took up this job. Not that I need it for financial reasons but it was to keep myself gainfully busy, get exposure to work culture and of course financial independence. I am doing MBA in marketing by distant learning. I come from an upper middle class family. Both my parents are working in multinationals at good positions. My elder brother, 3 years my senior , is an engineer with a public sector company. I have had freedom to follow whatever I wished to. My parents have been very liberal and never distinguished between us siblings. I had gone to a reputed co-education school as well as college. I had many good friends from both genders. I was quite free in mixing. I played basket ball and was middle distance runner during school as well as college days. I also play chess. I am fond of good life though not at the cost of studies. I scored very good marks always and made my parents proud.

I came in contact with Tony about 4 months ago in a sales team party for which some of the clients too were invited. He is from a rich business family. He it very tall over 6 footer with good physique which I learnt later is due to being regular at Gym. Somehow we got attracted to each other and started meeting later. He is about 4 years elder and very magnetic person. It was after meeting few times that I realized I had fallen in love with him and he too expressed the same on my asking. We had discussions over a period and decided to tell our parents. His parents were reluctant initially but later relented while my parents though accepting him asked me to exercise caution in my relationship. We started meeting almost daily. We both set limits and agreed to wait for marriage to go all the way. We did have certain amount of physicality as after all being young we do have some feelings.

Yesterday, Saturday was birthday of one of his friends – Bittu whom I had met few times. He invited us to celebrate where some more known persons were expected. We had gone to a famous pub. We were a group of 6 boys and 5 girls. Apart from Bittu and his girlfriend, Malini I did not know others well though had seen them at times. I do not drink except beer and that too occasionally. I accepted beer as the occasion demanded and Tony indicated it would be fine. I saw other girls were also drinking. As we were dancing we lost track of time. My parents had asked me to keep them informed and return by midnight. It was well past midnight. I asked Tony to drop me home but he insisted we stay little longer. So we decided to call my parents that I would be staying at my friends place for the night. Malini spoke to my parents seeking their permission to let me stay at her place. We continued dancing and as it was tiring I had maybe 3 glasses of beer. We left pub after 1’O clock. Tony told me that we would stay with Bittu, Malini and another boy, Gary in his company flat for guests which was close by. I did not feel it unacceptable as we were all little high and thought long drive would be risky. Presence of another girl too made me feel comfortable.

It was a cozy flat of 3 bedrooms and comfortably furnished with all amenities. Once in Gary said why not to continue with party for a while more. As we were all in mood for some more fun we all said yes. Tony put on music and we started dancing. Tony laid out drinks and eatables on the dinning table. On insistence by Malini I accepted beer. Lights were dimmed. I seemed such a happy dream to me, may be beer affect. As we were only 2 girls we all danced in a way to keep Gary feel part of dance. We continued dancing and took swigs of our drinks to keep thirst quenched. I must have had at least 4 or 5 glasses of beer as I was feeling full of joy and on top of the world. We sat down as we all felt tired. We were exchanging small talk while Tony was refilling everyone’s glass. I too continued having beer without being conscious about it. Tony sat next to me after filling glasses. He put his arm around me. Somehow our talk got around to sex. I think it was Malini who brought up High Court judgment regarding gays and lesbians. Thereafter everyone started telling freely about own experiences. When I was asked to tell about myself I in that bonhomie attitude spoke freely like others. I am no saint and have had my share of fun but within limits. I spoke about an incident which still makes me shiver. I told them when I was 10 how a neighbor used to feel me around whenever we happened to be alone. Tony had his arm over my shoulders and Malini moved next to me. When I finished she whispered how tense I was and hugged me close. Everyone hugged me close. I was feeling quite worked up by closeness of Tony.

We broke up soon after that to sleep. Bittu & Malini and Tony & me took one bedroom each leaving third for Gary. Once in the room we hugged each other and kissed while we lay in bed. I was quite high and feeling as if I was floating on clouds thus what followed is hazy which I am trying to reconstruct now. We were feeling little uncomfortable and on his suggestion we both took off jeans. Then I think our physical hunger took over and one thing followed other culminating in our making love. I drifted off to sleep which was more of a drunken stupor due to lots of beer. Sometime later I felt him touching me around and he again made love to me. But somehow his body felt different. It seems like a dream but I think he was Gary as Tony lay next to me. I was drifting in and out of deep sleep. I could not move around much as it seemed our bed was too crowded. I woke up a while ago and was so stunned to find myself nude amidst tangle of other’s bodies in the similar state. They were all asleep as if dead.

I am now sitting in the loo and thinking what & why. What do I do now? Why did I let this happen? Was it planned this way? What will Tony say now? Is he a party to all this? How will I face my parents who gave me so much of liberty? Above all how will I face myself too? I am trying to find answers.

NOTE : Though again it is fiction but could be reality too. This is my attempt to show how youngsters can get into such situations without realizing what they are heading for.

Friday, September 11, 2009


I am sitting at my favorite spot, in small balcony attached to my bedroom facing rear of our 12 floor building. We live on the 10th floor. There is hardly anyone to be seen below as it faces a park beyond the boundary wall. This is where I come and go over many things which trouble my mind to sort them out. As usual I sit here for this only at night and it is almost midnight now. Today I have a major issue to be given thought to and decide my future action. Oh, I have not introduced myself. Let me start from beginning.

My name is Richa. I am going to be 18 this month and have passed my 12th. I have joined college recently. I am from a well to do family. My parents have this flat and my grandparents are with us. My uncles, two of them, stay in flats next to us. So it is like a joint family as most of the times we all are together. I was born first and then my younger brother, little over 6 years my junior, arrived. As far as I can remember my father did not have much time for me during my childhood. Even when I went to school he never asked how was I doing. My mother too did not have very close relation with me. My grandmother always was scolding me for something or the other. Only my grandfather showed some concern for me. He used to take me to school and bring me back too till I reached 6th standard. Thereafter I used to go with other girls from the same locality as the school was not very far off. I saw my father giving so much attention to my brother right from his birth. Even my mother and grandmother used to always be by his side and listen to all his demands when he started making them. I never understood the reasons but only once I grew up and realized that different treatment between us siblings was as I am a girl and he is a boy. Let me not say too much of this as I would like to get to the main point. This is just to give you little of my background. I was denied of many little joys of life in childhood. One of my uncles has 1 son while other has 2 sons and my cousins too did not mix well with me though we had very little age difference. It seems that I was not acceptable being a girl. I was asked to share house hold chores and never encouraged to go out to meet friends or play while all the boys had all the liberties. Inspite of being in a house full of relations I felt so lonely.

Rakesh who is son of my Chachi’s ( uncle’s wife ) brother came over to this city about two years ago as management trainee in one of the companies. He is about 4 years elder to me. He is staying in a working boys’ hostel and visits us on week ends. He after a couple of months somehow noticed my loneliness and showed sympathy. I liked his behavior and concern towards me. He tried to involve me in games which boys used to play in the house but found that others were not keen at all. About a year ago when school got over I found him at the gate of our school. He told me that he was around this side and thought of walking me home. I felt happy as that day I did not have any company. On the way he told me about his life till then and conveyed that he would like to see me happy. On reaching home he told me to go ahead and not to tell anyone we came together as he felt it will not be taken kindly. I too felt the same. This walk back was repeated a few times. Then one day he told me that he would like to spend some time with me and understand why I seem so unhappy most of the times. On my telling that we may talk when he is home, he told that did I not notice that whenever we are together at home we are under watch all the time. On reflection I realized that it was true as whenever we were alone even for a moment my grandmother or mother or aunt used to come over. He suggested that as I was in 12th I should join extra coaching classes after school which were held in the school itself. These classes were for 2 hours but most of the times took little longer. There was some resistance at home mainly from my father but finally I was allowed.

He started meeting me after these extra classes and we used to spend about half an hour or so together. He used to praise me for my good behavior and good marks in examinations. We went to some small restaurant a few times and had some cold drinks etc. I started liking his company. At times we just sat in a park eating bhel puri or something likewise. I used to dream of time spent with him and looked forward to it. Once my preparatory holidays started it was only for special classes that I used to go , thus enabling me to meet him often. During examinations we met few times only. Then we could not meet as I was not allowed to go out of house without someone or the other going with me. This made me long for his company. He too on visits used to give me sad looks without saying anything. Once my college started we met during my free periods.

One day he took me to his friend’s house. His friend was there but left to bring something to eat. While we were there he told me that he has fallen in love with me. He knelt down infront of me while saying so. He held my hand and kissed it. I was so surprised and overwhelmed by feeling of happiness. He got up and hugged me asking if I too loved him. I told him yes. Thereafter it became a practice to go there. His friend was staying alone in that house and used to go out on some pretext or the other when we got there. I started liking his holding me close and when he kissed me few days later I did not resent. His hugging and kisses used to raise a tingling sensation in me. Not to go into intimate details, one thing led to another. We started indulging in feeling each other. His forbidden touches used to send shivers down. He coaxed me to partially undress. I did not offer much resistance as I felt he truly loved me and I too had so much of love for him. A fortnight ago we crossed all limits before I could gain my self control we ended up going all the way. After what happened I cried but he consoled me that we are in love and it is normal when two persons love each other so much. I could not sleep that night fearing what if someone came to know or if I became pregnant. Next day when I told him my fears he laughed telling me while he pulled me into his arms not to fear as he will always be with me. We ended up repeating our act again. I will be honest, after initial pain I did like it. So I was not very hesitant that day. We have done it a few times and I feel so attached to him.

Lately I felt little change in his attitude. I asked him if there was anything to which he replied in negative. I also asked him if we should tell our parents that we wish to get married. He told me that though he deeply loves me he can not think of marriage till he settles down with proper job. However he insisted that we should continue our relation as we love each other so much. I do not wish to continue in this manner. This is causing so much of stress what if we are discovered. I feel so used and do not know what to do. I feel like jumping off the balcony now but it would bring bad name to my family. I do not know how long will it take for me to come to any decision as on one hand I deeply love him while on the other hand I am not keen at all to continue in this manner. I am really in a dilemma.

NOTE : Though it is fiction but could be reality too. This is my attempt to show how youngsters due to some perceived reason or the other get into such situations without realizing the emotional aspects or letting their conscience guide them.