Tuesday, September 22, 2009

FACTS OR FICTION ? Part III

This is 3rd of 4 posts, each with different circumstances, I am putting up to bring out how youngsters get into situations without realizing what their actions could lead to. Basically it happens under sense of romantic euphoria and without proper application of mind. This fiction is based on few such cases reported by media. I have put this up as in spite of having heard of such cases and the risks involved, the youngsters still continue to be in secluded places for being together leading to girl having an emotional breakdown if such untoward incident happens.



I am Ruby. I come from a good business family. Ours is joint family with grandparents and 2 uncles with their wives & children. I have an elder sister, younger brother and 5 cousins. I am 21. I had all the love and care right from the time I can remember. I never had to ask for anything twice. My grandparents are so dotting. My grandmother used to tell me stories during my formative years of childhood which always had a lesson to be learnt. This was helpful in my all around growth with morals imbedded in my mind. Though we are a liberal family, we have set of principles which we value. I had gone to a very reputed school and then college. I am quite tall and good looking. I had won Miss School as well as Miss College titles. I have vast number of friends of both genders, some very close. I have set my own limits in friendships. I completed graduation this year and started going to office with my father to help him in his business.

I have known Jeet since childhood as he is son of my father’s close friend and another reputed businessman. He is 3 years my senior. They also are a joint family with number of members. We get along well. He is very well mannered and liked by all of my family. His grandmother spoke to my grandmother and it was decided that we would make a good couple. So we got engaged 3 months ago with marriage slated for November this year. Since we are engaged we could move about alone whenever we wanted to, not that we did not go out earlier but that was mostly in company. This was first time that I felt closeness with a boy. I have been hugged and kissed on cheek by friends but nothing more than that. After a few outings we realized that we have so much common. Even he too has not been really close to any girl. It was a new experience for both, making us little curious to explore. Of course we had vowed that we will save going all the way till after marriage as special treat. As we do not get much privacy at home we after our outings spend some time at relatively secluded places and indulge in smooching and all in the car. He has a SUV.

Early last month he had gone abroad for two weeks on a business trip. Though we kept in touch I felt his absence and was yearning for his company. On his return we went out for lunch and movie on Sunday. After that we wanted to spend some time alone together. He drove towards outskirts of town and we found a side road which did not seem to be much frequented. He drove some distance away from the highway. We got into rear seat after parking the car little away from the road in a dirt track. It was just about sunset time and not yet dark. We got talking and of course little smooching.

We did not realize how much time had passed. Suddenly I felt some movement outside and on looking we found our car surrounded by some men. First thing which came in mind was “Oh God! Not me” as thoughts of news I had read at times of girls being molested at lonely places under similar circumstances. We quickly corrected our messed up appearance. Jeet though nervous was still not in panic. By now one of the men knocked at the window asking us to come out. We had no option as they had Lathis. When we came out one of them who seemed to be the leader asked as to what were we doing. Jeet tried to tell that we are engaged and offered money but this did not cut ice with them. We asked them to forgive us and we would go away never to come back again. This is when I noticed that they all were eying me. There were 8 of them and all seemed to be in twenties or so. I pleaded with folded hands to spare us but they just laughed. One of them passed a lewd comment on me and Jeet took a step towards him. He was grabbed by 2 of them. Another one hit him in stomach with end of his lathi. Jeet doubled up. He was again hit on his hips. I started crying and screaming hysterically. One of them grabbed me from behind putting his hand over my mouth. He was very strong and lifted me off my feet carrying me away into the field. I was kicking my legs and trying to get free. He whispered menacing in my ears that if I struggle it will be worse for me. I saw he was joined by 3 more. Rest of them were with Jeet. One of them told me to undress unless I wanted them to use force thus damaging the clothes. All this time I was crying and pleading for mercy. In the twilight I could make out Jeet sitting on ground with 4 of them surrounding him. He seemed hurt. The one who was holding me released me asking me to hurry up or they would start beating my companion. I had no option but to comply with their demand crying and pleading all the time. That is when the nightmare started. I almost lost my senses as each one of them took turns to ravage me. After what looked like eternity they seemed to have had their fill and brought Jeet where I was lying almost unconscious. They left us together telling that if we try anything they would be back to teach us a lesson. As if to show they meant what they said one of them gave lathi blows to Jeet on the thighs. It was a long time after they left that I could control my sobbing while Jeet was holding me close consoling me. He helped me to dress up and almost carried me to the car. On reaching our car we found that it was past midnight. Our mobiles showed a lot of miss calls from our homes. I was in no condition to call back and was crying continuously. He spoke to his father and told them briefly what had happened.

We drove to highway and waited for someone to arrive. Our parents came after half an hour or so with family lawyer. My mother hugged me consoling me while I could barely hear our lawyer telling me that we need to lodge complaint with police. I was like a zombie. We went to a police station but we had to shuttle between two police stations. I learnt later that they were trying to establish as to under jurisdiction of which police station that area came. Once complaint was registered I was sent for medical check up. All this was so horrifying as the questions asked were so hurting and demeaning. During medical examination I was totally overcome with shame. We got back home next day just before afternoon. I locked myself up in my room crying and feeling so impure. My grandmother forced me to open the door after a while telling if I do not she would get it forced open. She held me close and told me to pull myself together.

I have undergone counseling sessions by psychologists for the past one month and all my family as well as Jeet have been very supportive but still am unable to come to terms. His family too has been comforting me and telling me to forget this as a bad dream. Police rounded up some men and I was asked to identify them. I could do so for 3. I felt so angry when I saw them that I screamed at them. The rest of them were also caught after interrogating these men. The case is now going on. But I am still not at peace with myself and feel I have let my family and Jeet down.

26 comments:

Sakshi said...

Ohkay- Uncle J- I know the incident that you are talking about- and Trust me when I read about this in the newspaper- first I had tears in my eyes and then I felt ENRAGED, more than that I felt like killing each one of the boys that was involved in the rape.
You know what the problem is- The boys and the men in our country are a frustrated lot. They think that a woman is only a sex object and nothing else. Ofcourse- washing, cooking and looking after the family are an added bonus. The reason behind such frustrations is the over exposure/ under exposure of the young men.
Lack of education at the basic level leads to such kinds of bastards who cannot think twice before touching another girl.
The bunch of Hippocrates that the men are- they will always pray to Maa Durga, they will do anything in this world to protect their sisters, but when it comes to anyone else's sister- then, they will forget everything.
Bloody Shameless fellows. They should be castrated and hanged naked on the main road where they can be slowly killed by stones.
Oh and I forgot to mention- The men cannot stand if another guy is having fun with his girl. Hurts the so called male ego.

There has to be a solution to this.. RAPE. WHY are we women subjected to this? WHY? We can't wear the clothes we like because- it attracts unwarranted attention; then why do women in sarees/suits and burkhas are raped?
I thought we lived in a free society, but women are still subjected to all kinds of restrictions lest something or someone does something to them... I have no choice but to sit at home when I want to party because of my parents fears. And- I can't test them on that- I am scared too.

All the women need to stand up to this nonsense. Unless we stand united in this cause- the men will not learn, and they need to be taught a lesson that they pass on to their male progeny so that the society can be cleansed of such bastards.

And Ruby darling- Its an incident that changes a girls life forever. All I can say is, I am sorry that it happened to you. And, please pray that it never happens to any girl.

Sorry for all the profanities but the subject is such.

Sakshi said...

Oh and I forgot to mention one thing- That parents of the boys involved in these rapes- instead of being ashamed support their child and defend them too.
BRAVO to such parents who will do anything to save their child- The parents should also be hanged.
It just shows the upbringing.

And in the real incident- The school teacher and the entire set of villagers were supporting the boys and shunning the couple because of the obscene actions of the couple. EXCUSE ME- Call the police if you don't like to see obscenity of the couples, who the hell gave you the right to punish them. And- whatever said and done- RAPE is rape. PERIOD.

Nahl said...

Oh God. *shudders*

Ketan said...

That was very bad indeed, what happened.

No number of words could adequately suffice to condemn those who did this, and support them.

Considering how the average people in India are, that Jeet and his family supported her is also heartening.

But sir, just in case if you're suggesting that they should have exercised caution in their actions, then I'm not sure what is the optimum degree of caution.

Those people would've hurt the couple even if they'd have let's say only singing devotional hymns sitting in the SUV.

Yes maybe, they could've exercised caution by not staying that long in a secluded place, but then such mistakes are not exclusive to youngsters! :)

TC.

preeti said...

I dont think Ruby has to blame herself so much. I know its impossible to come outta it, but feeling guilty is not done. she didn do it by choice right? and it was their mutual decision to steal some private time in a secluded place. Jeet is good to be by her side. Though thats the expected behaviour, not many do it. this again made me think..

Jack said...

SAKSHI :

I fully endorse your views that those who indulged in this henious act should be meted out severest punishment. Sexual attraction has been cause of many a downfalls. Even renowned sage Vishwamitra was enticed during his TAPSYA by Menka at the behest of Lord Vishnu. Helen of Troy or Cleopatra are few of other examples. Why even beauty of Rani Padmani had set mind of Mohammed Gauri in single track. As long as there are male and female species of any living being there will be sex. As I have said earlier too, unfortunately it is female who suffers. Thus it is the duty of boy companion to ensure that there is never a situation where his girl has to face something totally unwarranted. Yes, we are a free society but don't you think that there has to be some decorum? Can I move about only in underwear in CP? or can a girl do so in bikinis only? If a girl comes to college daily in hot pants and halter or a boy comes in tight shorts and body hugging top what would you say about them? One needs to dress as per occassion and as per situation too. If I know that there have been a number of carjackings or robberies at night on a particular route, is it prudent for me to take that route at midnight without any precautions? And as far as rape cases are concerned it is so in advanced countries too, may be lesser than here. Those found guilty of rape even if they claim that they got enticed due to acts of couple should be given maximum of sentence. Take care


NAHL :

It is really saddening that such beasts exist and they do not think what is right or what is wrong irrespective of caste or creed. Such inhumanes are to be treated with most sever penalty. We need to inculcate sense of respect of women in every man. Take care



KETAN :

All I say is that precautions need to be taken as per circumstances. If you read my reply to Sakshi above I spoke of route where carjackings etc take place. Our son used to come back from his office in Noida late at night at 2 or 3 am. I told him to drive ahead of an office cab staying in sight of those in the cab, particularly on the strech which was lonely and had had some incident of robberies. I agree that one which has been so victimised should be given all support and not critisised. Take care


PREETI :

True, Ruby is not to blame herself for what happened but unfortunately it is the girl who suffers under such circumstances. We need to remember that she is the victim of savages and should be given all support to come out of such depression. Take care

Ketan said...

Hello sir,

Okay, now I get the point. I'd no idea that that spot was infamous for its lack of safety. In that case greater action certainly needed to be exercised.

If you find time, I'd most certainly like your views on my following post:

ketanpanchal.blogspot.com/2009/08/do-i-deserve-pink-chaddis.html">

TC.

Ketan said...

*greater caution

There's a mistake with the link above.

This is the corrected link.

ketanpanchal.blogspot.com/2009/08/do-i-deserve-pink-chaddis.html

Ketan said...

This should work! :)

http://ketanpanchal.blogspot.com/2009/08/do-i-deserve-pink-chaddis.html

Jack said...

KETAN :

One needs to take precautions to safeguard oneself. In any secluded spot there are chances of unwanted things happening, be it robbery or carjacking or molestation if people of such bend of mind pass that way. Read post recommended and left my comment.

Take care

Mystique said...

jack: i quite echo sakshi here. Stuff like this happens more in our country as for some reason a lot of men are sexually VERY frustrated.

they need to be castrated.

Ellen said...

Have read your posts, Jack. Your effort to educate the young through the stories is admirable.

I think that some other issues should be addressed too, and not just about safety, of being cautious, or of sex . It has to do with culture and tradition -- the Indian culture and tradition of raising children, of favoring one (boy) from the other (girl). You know what I mean. You see, these things can influence the way a young person's mind develops, his (or her) beliefs, his fears, biases and prejudices, his education or ignorance. I am not an authority on these matters though so I cannot fully explain it in a way that it should be understood. Some books explore the subject well.

Anyway, I hope that many will read the stories/your blog and learn from it. Maybe they will get some new insight or perception or be further enlightened on the subject thus benefit from it. That will be good. I would strongly recommend that this be read by parents particularly. And hope next that they sit down with their daughters (and sons) for a serious discussion meant to educate them and everyone else in the family. This is something which should involve the whole family.

By the way, thank you for dropping by my page. Always glad to see you. Hope you're having a good week. Wish you good blessings today and all the year through.

God bless you and your family.

Tongue-fu Lady said...

i m tryin 2 figure out this:
whos fault was this?
jeet's- to go to such a secluded place? ruby's- for she agreed to go with jeet? or was this just a case of bad timing?? who is to be blamed?

i have heard this story before.

Sophia Ali said...

Hi, Finally read your post on Fact and Fiction, all the parts and it kept me glued.

All three incidents throw light on the same issue of how innocent girls are taken advantage of. But, makes me think aren't we supposed to trust the person blindly whom we love?

Being Pramoda... said...

HI Uncle,

Very thoughtful post ...

to highlight the root couse for such kind of incidents, i feel, i must stress that the different looks of our society towards boy and girl, are the culprits.

the superior feeling always kills..so as inferior. The remedy for such incidents shall start frm the parenting itself..one or two generations must struggle to avoid the trouble for the next ones.

TO RUBY:

Hey..its their foolishness, and don't worry much for their ignorance towards life..live ur life, u have got much support so live and become a role model..u can be the beginning of the feeling that a RAPE is not the end of life..

Thanks Jack uncle..Well written..awaiting ur 4/4... :)

Jack said...

MYSTIQUE :

Thanks for your visit. May I request you to read my reply to Sakshi and if you can to others too. I am not at all condoning henious act of those rascals and say that they ought to be punished with maximum sentence. All I wanted to bring out was is it advisible to take risks knowing that such incidents have occured earlier at similar places? Take care


ELLEN :

You have pointed your finger at the right reason. The different treatment meted out to boys and girls leads to such feelings. I will definitely try to write more of social issues which need changes. My basic aim in writing these 4 posts is that youngsters, specially girls, need to be careful so as not to get into such situations. Take care


T -f L :

What I wanted to bring out was that once it is known that such incidents have occurred at similar places, is it worth taking risk. Jeet and Ruby got carried away to have some private moments forgetting safety. The could have got killed too if those people wanted to remove traces of their crime, isn't it? If you read my reply to Sakshi and Ketan you will understand that one has to keep safety factor in mind. Take care


SOPHIA :

Welcome to my space. Hope you have time to read my older posts too. I write mostly on issues of inter-personal relationships. I agree one has absolutely full faith in one whom he or she loves. If you notice I have not said that any of these girls were taken advantage of by the ones they loved but they got into situations without giving proper thought. And to rely on the one you love should be when you have tested him and found worthy of trust and not under romantic notions. Take care


PRAMODA :

As I told Ellen above you have also got the basic reason correct. It is the difference of treatment meted out to boys and girls which leads to such feelings of being superior to boys that they can do anything and get away with it. Take care

Americanising Desi said...

i feel enraged and i have no words to spill!!

this may be a writing of fiction but truly fact!

Jack said...

A D,

You are right. There have been a few such cases and that is why I thought I would write to let youngsters, particularly girls, to know the danger of being in secluded spots. Not that I condon henious acts of such barbarians but precautions is to be kept in mind too.

Hope you read Part II also. Part IV will be posted in a couple of days.

Take care

Heavenly Muse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jack said...

H M,

Your comment on this post had been submitted on my previous post. I agree with you that couple, married or yet to get married, should not expose their intimate activities to public. In this case the vagabounds as stated by you could have them in some such activity and that made them believe her to be available girl. They had no moral right to feel that way and as Sakshi had said above that if they had any objections to their indecent behaviour they could have reported it to police. But does that ever happen with sex crazy people?

Take care

Cursed♪♫ said...

Oh My God. This is so sad and horrifying. It's so disgusting when men take women as sex objects. At least Jeet was there by her side.
This story gives me chills. I mean it.

Tranquility said...

Shocking!! But it comes with a good lesson. To never go to secluded places. Thanks for sharing.

P.S Really sorry for my late arrival here. Just got overly caught up!

Jack said...

JUHI :

Live life as you want to as long as your conscience allows it. But do take precautions even when with the person you are deeply in love with. I am posting last of this series on Monday. Take care


TRANQUILITY :

I know it is scary. My intention is to forewarn that precautions should never be discarded. Kindly do read last one which is ready and I will post it on Monday after rechecking it once again. It is different as compared to earlier 3.
Take care

Pavi!!!! said...

What is the solution jack? The circumstances narrated in the story tempt us to think that the circumstances is what led to the end result. But I don’t think that’s entirely true.
I’ve read of rape/murder/robbery happening in broad daylight in busy areas. How much can one alter one’s lifestyle to protect oneself. Restricted hours, restricted places, restricted clothes…I’m not sure any of this is a solution.. ‘coz the creepy people will yet find a way to do what they want to do. It’s a scary world!

Jack said...

PAVI :

I agree that robbery, dactoity, kidnapping, rape, murder or such crimes may even happen in busy places and in broad daylight too but does this let one take risks? Accidents do take place often but would you go in the wrong lane or jump traffic light saying that it can happen in any case? It is the risk factor one has to keep in mind. In this case, I would say that both of them should have exercised caution.

Take care

workhard said...

I think these have become very common situations....

But they are very scary in terms of physical, mental and emotional damage it causes


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