Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I am feeling so, what should I say, distressed. I despise myself at what happened. I need to talk to someone but am not sure if my parents or brother will understand me. Even my best friend may not believe me. Let me take it off my mind and see if I can muster courage to seek guidance.

I am Shuchi. I am 22 and working in a multinational company as Sales Co-ordinator. I completed my graduation last year and took up this job. Not that I need it for financial reasons but it was to keep myself gainfully busy, get exposure to work culture and of course financial independence. I am doing MBA in marketing by distant learning. I come from an upper middle class family. Both my parents are working in multinationals at good positions. My elder brother, 3 years my senior , is an engineer with a public sector company. I have had freedom to follow whatever I wished to. My parents have been very liberal and never distinguished between us siblings. I had gone to a reputed co-education school as well as college. I had many good friends from both genders. I was quite free in mixing. I played basket ball and was middle distance runner during school as well as college days. I also play chess. I am fond of good life though not at the cost of studies. I scored very good marks always and made my parents proud.

I came in contact with Tony about 4 months ago in a sales team party for which some of the clients too were invited. He is from a rich business family. He it very tall over 6 footer with good physique which I learnt later is due to being regular at Gym. Somehow we got attracted to each other and started meeting later. He is about 4 years elder and very magnetic person. It was after meeting few times that I realized I had fallen in love with him and he too expressed the same on my asking. We had discussions over a period and decided to tell our parents. His parents were reluctant initially but later relented while my parents though accepting him asked me to exercise caution in my relationship. We started meeting almost daily. We both set limits and agreed to wait for marriage to go all the way. We did have certain amount of physicality as after all being young we do have some feelings.

Yesterday, Saturday was birthday of one of his friends – Bittu whom I had met few times. He invited us to celebrate where some more known persons were expected. We had gone to a famous pub. We were a group of 6 boys and 5 girls. Apart from Bittu and his girlfriend, Malini I did not know others well though had seen them at times. I do not drink except beer and that too occasionally. I accepted beer as the occasion demanded and Tony indicated it would be fine. I saw other girls were also drinking. As we were dancing we lost track of time. My parents had asked me to keep them informed and return by midnight. It was well past midnight. I asked Tony to drop me home but he insisted we stay little longer. So we decided to call my parents that I would be staying at my friends place for the night. Malini spoke to my parents seeking their permission to let me stay at her place. We continued dancing and as it was tiring I had maybe 3 glasses of beer. We left pub after 1’O clock. Tony told me that we would stay with Bittu, Malini and another boy, Gary in his company flat for guests which was close by. I did not feel it unacceptable as we were all little high and thought long drive would be risky. Presence of another girl too made me feel comfortable.

It was a cozy flat of 3 bedrooms and comfortably furnished with all amenities. Once in Gary said why not to continue with party for a while more. As we were all in mood for some more fun we all said yes. Tony put on music and we started dancing. Tony laid out drinks and eatables on the dinning table. On insistence by Malini I accepted beer. Lights were dimmed. I seemed such a happy dream to me, may be beer affect. As we were only 2 girls we all danced in a way to keep Gary feel part of dance. We continued dancing and took swigs of our drinks to keep thirst quenched. I must have had at least 4 or 5 glasses of beer as I was feeling full of joy and on top of the world. We sat down as we all felt tired. We were exchanging small talk while Tony was refilling everyone’s glass. I too continued having beer without being conscious about it. Tony sat next to me after filling glasses. He put his arm around me. Somehow our talk got around to sex. I think it was Malini who brought up High Court judgment regarding gays and lesbians. Thereafter everyone started telling freely about own experiences. When I was asked to tell about myself I in that bonhomie attitude spoke freely like others. I am no saint and have had my share of fun but within limits. I spoke about an incident which still makes me shiver. I told them when I was 10 how a neighbor used to feel me around whenever we happened to be alone. Tony had his arm over my shoulders and Malini moved next to me. When I finished she whispered how tense I was and hugged me close. Everyone hugged me close. I was feeling quite worked up by closeness of Tony.

We broke up soon after that to sleep. Bittu & Malini and Tony & me took one bedroom each leaving third for Gary. Once in the room we hugged each other and kissed while we lay in bed. I was quite high and feeling as if I was floating on clouds thus what followed is hazy which I am trying to reconstruct now. We were feeling little uncomfortable and on his suggestion we both took off jeans. Then I think our physical hunger took over and one thing followed other culminating in our making love. I drifted off to sleep which was more of a drunken stupor due to lots of beer. Sometime later I felt him touching me around and he again made love to me. But somehow his body felt different. It seems like a dream but I think he was Gary as Tony lay next to me. I was drifting in and out of deep sleep. I could not move around much as it seemed our bed was too crowded. I woke up a while ago and was so stunned to find myself nude amidst tangle of other’s bodies in the similar state. They were all asleep as if dead.

I am now sitting in the loo and thinking what & why. What do I do now? Why did I let this happen? Was it planned this way? What will Tony say now? Is he a party to all this? How will I face my parents who gave me so much of liberty? Above all how will I face myself too? I am trying to find answers.

NOTE : Though again it is fiction but could be reality too. This is my attempt to show how youngsters can get into such situations without realizing what they are heading for.


Americanising Desi said...

this aches me but then i believe women give themselves up real easy.
no matter what i am willin enuf to never be fooled like that.
in 26 years i have just had 1 bf and he too cudnt do much with me bcause of the sanity i carried with me. education doesnt bring sense with it, one has to know one s grounds too well to be taken off course.

i m sorry but women weirdly just give themselves away.

so much for being stupid!

Sakshi said...

Well, being physical has become a part of almost all the relationships today.Till the time I was in a relationship, I was of the notion that physical relationship in a relationship is just in cheesy novels like Mills and Boons. And, I will just say, that- I am not saint either.But- I do know of 2 things- that my boyfriend- has set me limits as to how much can I drink. Why, because; he knows that and has explained to me that getting drunk is not really a great idea.
The other- He has never, ever, even touched me without my consent.

In a relationship, it is very important that the couple set up a trust factor amongst themselves. Unless that factor is there- A relationship- a bond- so strong- cannot be formed.
And- it is highly important, that how ever close you are with your beau's friends, you need to set limits for them as well.
I remember, once my bf showed a picture of me in a saree to his friends, and one of them commented that I was looking really hot, poor guy got an entire bottle of coke dumped on his head and one ghoosa on his stomach.
It is so important to have a person who respects your boundaries. COME WHAT MAY.
That is what sets apart, a fling from a true relationship.

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

Well Jack, this time I have a different vieww of things.
If it wasn't Gary and it was tony and if tony was a nice guy, then what was the big deal? There is absolutely nothing wrong with it - unless there arent many emotional strings attached.. But yeah, she musn't have drunk so much.

Pavi!!!! said...

I haven’t heard of too many such cases…but even on rare care where it could b’com reality is scary.

Getting high on booze, dancing, having sex..everythign has b’com so fashionable that drawing a line at some point is almost forgotten!

Tongue-fu Lady said...

Well Jack,I have read your last post and this.. it saddens me that you have shown only the girl going "lose" and then regret later..
sorry to say, but both the stories tagged a bit of "sexist" point of views..
women don't generally give themselves away..no matter how "open-minded/modern" she is..but then we are to blame for we trust very easily..men knows that very well to take advantage of it..and that my friend, is the "Ugly TRUTH"

preeti said...

dunno wat to say. I seriously dunno. feeling very very heavy.

Being Pramoda... said...

HI Uncle,

wanna tell alot..but am hurrily packing my luggage ..will surely reply u once i come back ..

Cursed♪♫ said...

Your story tells us to drink in limits! :)
The story really touched me. It's like...in a second, all our dreams can break breaking us apart.
Our moral values are important though people have started to forget it. It's sad.
Your story was really warned me. Thanks :)

Jack said...


A D :

If 2 grown up individuals want to have physical proximity willingly without anyone being pressurised it is their business. There are many circumstances where a girl may fall prey to manipulations. I am writing 4 post with different situations. This is second. What my idea of writing these posts is that let girl too understand what she is getting into. Take care


It is for individuals to set their limits as they wish to. There is nothing wrong if they wish to make love willingly without anyone being pressuried. I must say your friend is mature and wise. May you both have happiness always.
Take care


It is for individuals to decide how far and no farther. If one feels confident and has trust it is fine to do what both agree to. In this case it was not a conscious willing consent. Circumstances were such that it happened even when girl was not yet ready for it. Secondly under the influence of liquor there were no limits and seems she was made love to by other boys too.
Take care


These incidents are not as uncommon as we would like to believe. There have been a couple of incidents reported in media where unsuspecting girls had been made to have more liquour than they could hold and then taken advantage of. What hurts me that inspite of knowing such happenings, girls still fall into trap. Kindly read my reply to A D above also. I have replied to you in my post on Happiness too. Take care

T - f L :

I am sorry if you feel my posts are sexist. I in no way have put blame on the girl for what happened nor have I labled her loose. I rather am on her side as she has been taken advantage of under the situations stated. It is so disappointing that girls inspite of being educated and intelligent fall for such traps. There will be 2 more posts with same theme with different situations. Take care


I am sorry if I made you feel so disturbed. But we have to face realities of life, isn't it. My advice to girls is to do whatever they wish to with full application of mind and understanding results arising out of it. Take care


Waiting. Take care


Do what your conscience allows you but must be within limits set.
Take care

Being Pramoda... said...

HI Jack uncle,

Another good one from u ..Yeah, it can be more than a fact too.

When a guy and girl enter into a relationship, its not only that the kind of person that he/she is, but the way he/she behaves with frnds should come handy for them to know more abt each other. The kind of understand comes only when we take some time and come to an understanding, but not when we just see a person and after spending some time with him alone..

The social issues and social corners in every one's mind is the important thing and if it is ur lover, it should be known to u ..

In this case, she didnt understand him and his frnds well.. going to his house with out understanding him or without knowing his frnds was an absolute mistake, i would say.

I repeat, every thing has got its own limits, so as belief.

Any way, now it happened. so no need to worry much now. Just try to forget it, even if it is very difficult and lead life normally. neigther crying, not feeling tensed can bring her lost property back..so she should be given much moral support and she should lead life more inspiringly to many other such victims..

This is what i feel.. and i hope to read many such posts ffrm uu .. :)

Heavenly Muse said...


Jack said...


Very mature and practical views. One needs little more time to judge with whom you wish to be for your life. One needs to meet his or her clsoe friends too and know them well enough to have healthy relations. And once fingers are burnt no use crying but to gether up pieces and start afresh with caution. Take care


Welcome to my space. No comments? May I request you to leave your views not only here but for my older posts too. I wll visit you soon. Take care

Deva84 said...

this is quite terrifying. I can understand a girl attitude in this situation - she wants to be liked and accepted. I had two/three not very conscious nights - nothing happened but it was a reminder that I should be much more careful especially that I don't live in my home country now and everything seems to be different.
I agree that women have problems to set some limits in these days. It's different when it comes to relationship... but still we need to be careful and think about our own good and health.

I'm very sorry about your dogs. I hope you feel better. It's a tragedy when we lose our sweethearts. Six years ago I lost my first dog I cried for days and weeks. It's indescribable how heart can aches...

Jack said...

DEVA 84 :

Welcome to my space. Thanks for your support. I am now getting used to his absence and so is Zuby, his female companion.

I am writing 4 posts where girls get into situations they had not wished for due to advice not being sought or available. I have already posted 2 and will be posting next in a day or so as I am just rechecking it.

May I request you to read previous one too and give your views. Also it will be very nice of you if you can read some of my older posts also.

Take care

Heavenly Muse said...

i must say that this is an appropropriate streight foward way of explaining the moral dengeneration of our youngsters.

Jack said...

H M,

One should do whatever one wants to but with full application of mind and if one's conscience allows it without getting pressurised for it. The times are changing and one needs to change with it but of course not at the cost of values.

Take care

Rinkal said...

how r u?
i loved it
it reached my heart
everything should be in limit
not to drink much
really it touched my heart
story was really interesting

Jack said...


One must follow own conscience and set limits which should be followed without fail. Thanks for visit. How are studies going on?

Take care

Heavenly Muse said...

a fiction has its roots deep into reality....
well....whether...a couple is married or expected to get merried....they should not let exposed their personal activities to society...as society is full of evil eyes...we cant check their thinking...in ruby's case...the vagabonds must have had idea that girl is accustomed of doing such things....well.....its pathetic anyway...

September 26, 2009 12:09 AM

Jack said...

H M,

I think your above comment relates to my next post, so I will leave my reply there.

Take care

Tranquility said...

Not like I am not aware of all this, but it scares me no end to read all this! So please don't mind, but I shall not be reading the last one

WarmSunshine said...

i totally agree with AD on this one.

This is so sad :( Wish she had had some sense and had thought of her parents at least!

Jack said...


As I have told earlier, the last one is with little different theme and kindly do give your views on that too. Take care


I am pleased that you found time to visit. Hope you have read all posts of this series. Looking forward to your views on the rest also. Take care

workhard said...

This could be easily termed as a very common fact...
Ugly fact.....

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