Monday, September 26, 2011

SEEKING ATTENTION - PITFALLS

This happened a few years ago. I thought of sharing it with you as today in a get together I noticed a girl trying to garner attention of everyone in the group she was in. Though I came into picture at much later stage but I am narrating it as it happened.

Janki was born and brought up in a medium sized town. Her father has successful business and mother is a teacher. She has a brother younger by 5 years. She was good in studies and secured over 90% in final Board examinations. She wanted to study in some reputed college of a renowned university. So it was decided to send her to Delhi as some close relatives are there. So she joined a well known college for girls.

Everything was fine except that she developed inferiority complex because of her upbringing in her hometown. Though she is tall and very good looking but she felt that her sense of dressing and projected image was not upto standards here. So she took to copying those who were popular in dressing as well as appearance. She got into habit of seeking attention of those around her. She did not realize that at times her such efforts drew smiles as well as comments behind her back. This became her nature and she felt neglected if she was not paid attention as she looked for.

During her college time she met a boy who used to travel in the same bus as his college was close by and showed a lot of interest in her. His showering her with compliments used to make her feel very happy. Her friendship with him developed without knowledge of her parents or local guardians. As it happens in such cases he gradually made her submit to his physical demands. This continued till she completed graduation. He moved to another city on getting a good job. She went on to complete MBA securing high position. Her parents agreed to her staying in Delhi and take up a job. She joined a MNC with good salary. She still had habit of seeking attention whenever she felt neglected.

Her habit of seeking attention did not go. A young smart boy and working in the same department noticed this. He started paying compliments on her appearance or work. He also followed her on social networking site giving flattering comments. She developed a liking for him and used to spend free time with him. He was staying with his married cousin in a flat which was quite close to her place. His cousin and his wife were working in reputed companies. He started picking her up in the morning from a set place and drop her back too. Many times they stopped enroute on his say so to have a cup of coffee. She started depending on him for not only attention but convenience too. After a while he took her to his place on some pretext. There she met the couple. His cousin paid a lot of attention to her while his wife seemed friendly. They fussed over her offering tea and snacks. She felt like a princess. This became a routine and she used to visit his flat once a week or so. At times they used to alone. On such occasions he used to be extra attentive and sweet to her. On one such time they became physically involved. She started thinking that he loves her so she did not refuse him whenever he asked her to come with him as they will have flat to themselves. One day when they were there in the bedroom, his cousin came in. By the time she could react she saw that he was taking photographs on his mobile phone. She started crying and asking for forgiveness. Her colleague and his cousin just laughed and told her that they will not tell this to anyone if she submits to both of them. She was so scared that she agreed and while his cousin was with her he took photographs on mobile phone.

That is when her ordeal started for not only satisfying lust of both. His cousin’s wife had gone to her parents as she was in family way. She had to bow to his demand of visiting them on some Saturdays telling her local guardian that she had to go to office.

It was her good luck that her parents found suitable match for her within a couple of months after this and she was married to a boy in Delhi. It just so happened that her husband is son of a person well known to me. He is working at good position in another MNC. His father let her decide if she wanted to continue with job. As she wanted, he made arrangement for her to be taken to office in the morning by his driver and brought back in the evening. This made her contact with that boy less. In office she tried to keep with her other female colleagues.

It was all well for a couple of months but then that boy threatened her with dire consequences if she did not do what he wanted. She refused to bow to his threat.

All hell broke loose when a friend of her husband told him that he had seen an obscene video of her on the web. He was shocked and went into withdrawal mode, even not talking to her. His father sensed there was something wrong but could not put his finger to it. That is when I came into picture. His father called me and asking me to speak to his son. I spoke to him in private and he told me about the said video. On my asking, he told me that he would not like to break marriage as she is good wife and whatever happened before marriage is ok with him if she is not into it now. I told him that I would like to speak to her without any of them except my wife with me. He agreed telling that I should not tell anyone about it. He sent her to our house under some pretext next day. I frankly told her what was the situation and she broke down. After some cajoling she told me all what I have narrated above. I called her husband and apprised him of what had happened. He stood by her as she had refused to bow down to that boy’s blackmail.

With some efforts we got that video removed from that site. I along with him met that colleague and his cousin telling them to stop harassing her. I told the cousin that I will hold him personally responsible if there was any effort to contact her by any of them and I will then narrate the whole thing to his wife who had joined back with the baby a few days earlier. On my advice she changed job after taking leave for a fortnight. Fortunately it stands sorted out.

I narrated this to say that one should not be ashamed of own background. One can make efforts to improve but not make undue efforts to seek attention.

21 comments:

adreamygal said...

It sounds so filmy, but then its another bitter reality. Sometimes we are not aware how a small wrong trait of ours lands us into a big trouble. Good that you shared it, have learned to be extra cautious, though I am not having any complex regarding my background. In fact, its because of every back ground that shapes every person, for good :)

Upasna said...

unfortunately, while it seems dramatic, such incidents are also very common! but i am glad it is sorted ...

Mishi said...

I wont say its filmy or something..this does happen in our society..girls get trapped and then blackmailed..I had a Friend who had something of this kind ..it was a horrible experience..and I tell you what makes things worse is women not sharing this with anyone around..you got to tell somebody close to you..this is the only way out or there is no end to that blackmailing...

a very well written piece jack.,,thankz for reminding us all about the importance of sharing our troubles with the people around us:-)

Sakshi said...

It is amazing, that even though we are educated, we end up taking such stupid decisions!
I just pray that whatever happened to her, doesn't happen to anyone- EVER!

☆ Rià ღ said...

Totally second Sakshi...its sad but ppl still take such decisions in life...Hope it doesnt happen to anyone.

Neeha said...

It's sad to hear that.
But need to agree with the fact that she is lucky to have such an understanding person as a husband.

Amigo said...

Really sad..But good that its sorted out now...

Mannu said...

Gruesome story.! The first time i heard such story of blackmail through photographs was in year 1994. I was 14 year old student, and i had read that in ToI newspaper, delhi edition.
I have also seen some tales of breakup closely, although not of blackmail.
Ur blog must enlighten some people.

Neha said...

That's scary. When I moved to Delhi, it was a big change for me, but thankfully, I have survived it all and did not succumb to any big-city pressures! It's been 8 years now and Delhi has become a home. Though I have seen girls go downhill too.

Harman said...

its very scary..I cannot imagine going to that level one after another..
Its like loosing dignity..
But a stitch on time pays nine..A very ..well versed action and completed with accuracy..hats off ..we need more people like you!
Tc

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi uncle,

good that u shared it here, this way we get to know how much can be done with a girl!!

one must be careful, in love, in everything... seeking attention to an extent is ok, but that shall not make anyone go blind!

and i believe, in case of any such, husband shall be made aware immediately, keeping it at his back only makes him go calm or irritated, it kills the love either way..

you did a good job once again..i admire you..

Ruprekha said...

There are so many Jankis out there, who need to be educated not to fall prey to such complexes which leads to a trap of blackmail. Again, not all Jankis find support and a helping hand you have given, and an understanding husband. Thanks for sharing your experience, hope this post is read by more and more young girl.

Jack said...

DREAMYGAL :

Welcome to my space. Yes, it does because we behave like Ostriches burying our head in sand denying existence of any danger. One should not feel shy of own background and if need be make efforts for improvement without doing anything against own conscience. Hope to see your valuable views often. I will visit you soon. Take care



UPASNA :

Our whole life is a drama, isn't it? Some show happiness always while some find faults in everything what happens. I too feel glad that it ended in happy note. Take care


MISHI :

When we are young we feel so confident that we can sort out anything but least realising that we lack experience of overall broad view. Sharing should also be with someone whom one can trust after due knowledge of person. Take care


SAKSHI :

Don't we have many educated persons who fall prey to crooks? I too pray that no one should face this sort of experience. Take care

Jack said...

RIA :

We all make mistakes due to inexperience or looking for some attention. I too hope so. Take care


NEEHA :

I really admire her husband for his stand. We need more such young men who can make society a better place to be in. Take care


AMIGO :

Nice of you to share this feeling. Take care


MANNU :

Unfortunately we tend to ignore these happening either blaming the girl or saying it is not happening. We need to understand what are pitfalls of our actions. Left reply in my previous post where you left indepth views. Take care

Jack said...

NEHA :

You had your head rightly placed on your shoulders. I am sure you will be of a big support to those who need it. Take care


HARMAN :

Such happenings are more than what we would like to believe. Many girls in their late teen years get swept off their feet by gullible talks. They need to keep their wits about and judge a person with due care. Take care


PRAMODA :

One needs to be careful not to get bowled over. Before taking such step one needs to judge person with due application of mind and not on just what appears. Take care


RUPREKHA :

Welcome to my space. I am so happy that you found time to give your valuable views. Hope to have same often and on some of my previous posts too, if you get time to read those. I will visit you soon and catch up with your thinking. Hopefully we can establish contact and I can contribute something to worthy cause. Take care

Suruchi said...

it's sad how life can completely go wrong when all these girls wanted was just to make it go right!
:(

it is not always "all is well that ends well"

viddhi said...

honestly. i find it scary !
being a girl it makes me feel vulnerable. but such instances happen . its a reality of our society .. which we should be ashamed of.

viddhi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nidhi said...

Hey Jack. I was trying to email you but whenever I click on email on your user profile, it opens MS Outlook. Don't know how to use it. Can you like give me your email id manually. Thanks. :)

Komal Ali said...

First of all, I hope you're doing great. Thank you for always coming around to my blog. Your comments always motivate me and direct me to the thinking-path.

Coming to the post and it's context, I am sure there are many such people who undergo such series of events. I think we must not discriminate against anyone on the basis of their social status, religion, culture, etc. Then only people will be able to accept the differences more easily and gracefully.

Jack said...

SURUCHI :

I agree every time it does not end well. Take care


VIDDHI :

Though I advocate equal rights for girls but I always also say that there is need for ensuring safe environments for them. They too have to apply their mind properly before taking any step which may lead to such situations. I do not blame Janki as she thought the boy during college time as well as her colleague loved her. Take care


NIDHI :

No views on this? I have left my id in your space. Also have replied to your comment in post Age Catching Up. Take care


KOMAL :

I feel satisfied if I can be of help to anyone. Please feel free to contact me, if you ever wish to. My id is in my profile. I agree we need to get over prejudices of caste, region, language, colour etc etc to live happily in this world. Take care