SAFETY OF GIRLS

I have been wanting to speak my mind about ghastly rape of the girl by cab driver in Delhi but just could not bring myself to marshal my thoughts as I was so upset. Today I decided to write what comes in my mind.

First of all this act by that evil man is beyond any words to condemn. What is more hurting is the way we have gone about blame game and suggested the obvious what should have been rightly done by those blamed. The politicians have used it to make political mileage. Hardly anyone has actually pointed finger at what, as per my thinking, is the root cause of not only rapes but molestations and eve teasing also. It is the mind set of our society at large – BOYS ARE SUPERIOR AND SHOULD BE GIVEN ALL THE FREEDOM. Very few of us treat our daughters at par with sons. How many of us teach our sons from tender age itself to respect girls and treat them as equals? Particularly so in uneducated masses. Do we set an example by giving our daughters the same facilities as our sons? Most of us will say NO.

So the long term remedy for putting stop to crime against women is to start change of society mindset. For this there is need to inculcate sense of respect for girls in the minds of boys as well as that they need to treat girls as equal. This should be done right from tender age at home, in schools and colleges also. Political parties, social organizations as well as prominent persons of social standing should hold regular seminars, sabhas, panchayats, nukkad meetings or whatever ways to do this. They should start with teaching parents to treat daughters as equal to sons. It will take a few years before results are visible, so it has to be carried out over a long period regularly.   

Till this bears fruit, we need to look at short term remedies. One which comes to my mind, apart from much spoken about verifications etc, is that for safety of girls travelling alone or even in company of another girl, particularly at night or lonely places, we should make use of services of retired Defence personnel in receipt of pension as they come out at relatively young age after their term of engagement. We may even include ex – paramilitary personnel in receipt of pension. If such persons can drive it is good, otherwise they may be sent as escorts in the vehicle. 

ADVICE

When you are in the final lap of marathon of life, there are a lot of ideas gained due to experience which you would like to share. I am no exception, so here is what I want to share with you all :

When you are feeling in dumps or depressed, just visit big hospital to see what people are suffering or a home of challenged persons or even slums. That will show you how well off you are. To support my statement I am giving url of a site which you may visit –

 VOTEDTHEBESTEMAILOFTHISYEAR.pps

You may need to control click on the link to download it.

WHO TO BLAME?

I am writing this with a very heavy heart. Today I attended funeral of a dear friend of mine. He was about 10 years younger to me.

I first met him in 1989 when we shifted to house next to his in Delhi. He was in Army. We developed healthy relationship. My wife got along with his wife as if they were childhood friends. He had two daughters. Our children too bonded well. In 1991 he was allotted house in Army complex. Though they shifted, we kept in close touch. He was doing very well and had won a lot of awards. He was transferred to forward area in 1993. His family continued staying in Delhi. He availed premature retirement from Army in 1995 as his wife was not keeping too well. They settled down in Delhi for her treatment and education of their daughters. We used to meet as often as we could but kept in touch otherwise. Though he was getting pension, he took up job to add on to his income to meet all commitments. Subsequently his daughters were married. He had spent his entire saving and more for that. He continued working to pay off his loans and to run house. He used to share his worries with me but never accepted any financial help as he was confident of taking care.

About 4 months ago he confided that he was in little tight squeeze but was hopeful that with arrears from 01 Jan 2006 of his revised pension as per Supreme Court orders for the same i r o retired defence officers he would come out of this. He expected these to be given soon. He was looking under a lot of stress when I met him two weeks ago. He told me that bureaucrats have been delaying grant of pending lawful arrears on some pretext or the other and filing appeals in Supreme Court to that effect. I offered to help him out but he having confidence in justice told that he would wait for his arrears. I was not very happy with his worried looks.

I learnt from his wife that for the last couple of days he was under a lot of tension. This seems to have caused brain haemorrhage leading to his death.

This makes me ask who do we blame for his untimely death? Why do bureaucrats delay grant of rightful dues? I am sure that if any benefit is due to them, they will have it approved in a jiffy.

MEMORIES

A couple of weeks ago I read in newspaper that scientists have come out with a way by what a person can control his or her memories. It would help a person to erase bad memories while retaining good ones. It makes me feel that we are turning into a human computer with delete and save buttons. I do not know how far this is possible but if it does happen we would be nothing but walking human robots.

We all have memories – good, bad as well as ugly. I too have many memories which flash in my mind at totally unexpected moments. Some of these I would like to forget as it is painful to remember those times. How many of us have any control over it? Human mind travels at speed much greater than even light. We may be thinking of something totally mundane like what to wear for a gettogehter and lo! our mind travels back by many years to a party where we had a gala time flashing images. And then suddenly it brings out something which haunts us as it should not have happened. We hardly seem to have made any effort to have those memories flashing infront of us. I do not feel if we can ever have any control over our memories.

I feel that we should savor our good memories while learn lesson from bad or ugly ones to avoid those circumstance when those happened.

What do you say?  

WE CAN MAKE THE CHANGE

When I saw that it is a month since I shared anything with you all, I felt so sad. So I decided that no matter how I feel I must write what I wish to share with you all. So here I go.

There are so many issues going on which make me feel what is happening to our sense of values. Take the case of Sh Ajit Singh refusing to give up bungalow which he is occupying unauthorisedly.  And to top it he is inciting his followers to create ruckus. Is this what our so called political leaders teach us how to obey law of the land?  Can recently retired government officers also refuse to vacate houses, which they may have occupied for over a decade or so, allotted to them during their service career?

What was that PANCHYAT thinking when girls were told not to go to school so they can avoid being teased by rowdy boys? Does it mean that the elders of PANCHYAT approve of unwanted behavior of such boys? Or they feel helpless in teaching the boys to have respects for girls? Would they lock up all females of their families in house so they avoid being teased?

There has been so much talked about Love Jihad. This is being made into a political issue. I strongly feel that love knows no boundaries of region or religion but at the same time any relationship established by deceit is criminal. Such deceit could be in respect of religion, education, family background, job, financial status, marital status, health or any issue which should be known to the intended partner. Any person indulging in such deceit should be punished as per law.

I feel that we all should apply our mind before electing anyone to position, be in as MP, MLA or even member of PANCHYAT etc, which can affect our day to day life. We should also educate those who due to being less educated form bulk of vote bank for such unscrupulous persons.   

IT IS SO TRUE, ISN'T IT?

This was sent by a friend. It seemed so true that I felt I should share it with you all.

THE                 BUZZARD      If you put  a  buzzard in a pen that is  6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at  the  top, the bird,  in   spite of its ability to  fly, will be an absolute   prisoner. The  reason is that a buzzard  always begins a flight from the ground with a run  of  10 to 12 feet. Without  space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt  to  fly, But  will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with  no   top. ----------------------------------------------   THE           BAT   The   ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature  in the air, cannot  take off from a level place. If   it  is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle  about   helplessly and, no    doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which  it can throw itself into  the air. Then,   at once, it takes off like a flash. -----------------------------------------------   THE           BUMBLEBEE   A  bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it  dies,  unless it is taken  out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying  to  find some way out through the sides near  the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely  destroys   itself. -----------------------------------------------   PEOPLE   In  many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and  the   bumblebee. We  struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never  realizing  that all we have  to do is lookup! That's    the answer, the escape route and  the solution to any    problem...   just    look up! ------------------------------------------------ Sorrow    looks back, Worry    looks around, But    faith looks up! Live    simply, love    generously, care    deeply, speak    kindly, and trust    yourself .

OUR DUTY, ISN'T IT?

I am sharing what a friend mailed to me for your consideration. I have already pledged my organs and my signed papers are with a hospital. Our children are told about it.

An Article From The ' Cincinnati Post'

The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and dying. 

At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. 

And don't call this my death bed. Let it be called the Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it

to help others lead fuller lives.
 
Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.

Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing  but endless days of pain. 

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live

to see his grandchildren play.

Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week. 

Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a

crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain. 

Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday, a speechless boy will shout at

the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all prejudice against my fellow men.

If by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you.

If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

Robert N Test. 

SHOULD WE NOT?

I feel so shocked at the kind of persons we have who make laws for us to follow. It was so disturbing when many of them made statements on issues of sensitive nature. The kind of utterances made regarding rape were indicative of their thinking power or attitude. Most of them do not seem to give a

hoot about communal colour their speeches or remarks have. Now comes the last straw – physical violence. There are ways and means to lodge your complaint about any issue including standard of food but forcibly making someone eat it is a crime. I am not talking of religion of the victim. It is a barbarian way to show your dislike for the food served. And even more shocking is the support or justification given by their higher ups. How would they feel if they are forced to swallow sub-standard medicines reportedly given at many government run hospitals or made to travel in train which is overcrowded even in reserved bogies by unauthorised passengers – many of whom are ticketless? But again are we not the ones to be blamed to send such persons to be our lawmakers?

I am at a loss to find words to say how sad I feel at the loss of so many young lives in school bus accident which happened due to sheer negligence of the driver. I would hold school authorities also responsible for this. I doubt if many school authorities ever are serious about the calibre of persons they take on rolls. This is proved by the heinous rape of just 6 years old girl by an instructor of a school. I have seen many school cabs and even buses here which flout traffic rules. Jumping red light is just normal for many of them. Should the schools not have proper check on persons they take on board as well as have regular inculcation of proper behaviour and also carry out random checks? Should the parents of all students not get involved in keeping an eye on activities of the schools?

I strongly feel that we can ensure that suicide is avoided by those who contemplate it. One who is under such pressure will most likely show signs. I am referring to suicide committed by a young girl who could not become an Airhostess due to her being underweight. I feel her close ones could have observed her behaviour and understood her tendency so as to counsel her themselves as well as by qualified persons. Should we all not keep a keen eye on those we know to judge if they are under any unwanted duress?

How I wish we all could do something to get over such incidents! 

PROGRESS - We pay for it, isn't it?

I received this in mail from a friend and thought I should share it with all of you. This clearly shows that we are paying for what we call progress we have made from olden times.

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested    to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags,because plastic bags are not good for the environment.     

The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days.

The   young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not   care enough to save our environment for future generations."

  The    older lady said that she was right -- our generation didn't have the"green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain:   

Back    then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The   store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so    it could use the same bottles over and over.   So they really were recycled.

But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day. 

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers

for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then  

We    walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office   building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time    we had to go two blocks.   

But   she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.

Back  then we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We  dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days.Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. 

But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green

​ ​

thing" back in our day.  

Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV   in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief(remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and    stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we   didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push   mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go    to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But   she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

We   drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic    bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink   instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor   instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But   we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

  

Back    then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or   walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the"green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire    bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized  m gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in  order to find the nearest burger joint.

But    isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just  because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?  

CAN YOU ADVISE ME?

There have been a lot of happenings in the past month which raised  questions in my mind. I am going to share those with you.

Starting with Delhi University fiasco. To me it seemed that those having differences about length of Graduation course had inflated EGO with no concern about sufferings of young students. Going back to my time in school, Matric or 10^th standard was the final examination of school education and it was conducted by Punjab University. Thereafter a student joined college to do 2 years Intermediate and then 2 years Graduation. Thus one could be a Graduate in total of 14 years in school and college. When I reached 9^th standard, school tenure was increased by 1 year making it Higher Secondary. Examinations of both 10^th and 11^th were conducted by the university. There was corresponding reduction in college education. One joined college for 1 year Prep after Higher Secondary and continued to 2 year course of graduation. Thus to be a Graduate it still was 14 years of school and college education.  Then schooling was increased to 10+ 2 ie making it 12 years of school education and in college it was made 3 years to graduate. So now one took 15 years of school and college to be a Graduate. Latest increase of graduation to 4 years after schooling seems a little more than needed. Also how can an ordinary college cater for B Tech or BMS education which are specialized in engineering or administrative institutes?

There used to be only 1 university covering whole of Punjab which included Haryana at that time as well as Himachal. Now I think there are half a dozen universities covering the same area. And similarly universities have mushroomed nationally also. It may be due to large number of students but still it seems that there are too many universities without any concern about education standards or co-ordination. I do strongly feel that though a university may retain freedom in day to day functioning but there is positive need to have an agency to ensure that all universities maintain same overall standard and norms of education.

The stand off between BMC and residents of Campa Cola area buildings is rather very intriguing. I am surprised that when these buildings were under construction many years ago, BMC had found the builder was indulging in unauthorized construction. He or the company was fined for that but what about after that? How did he manage to continue with construction without having approved plans? Not only that but the flats were sold out which could not have happened overnight. How did the owners get water and electricity connections if the buildings were unauthorized? Is it not mandatory to give details of building approval for obtaining these connections?  My heart goes out to those occupying those flats for so many years but it seems that most of them were aware at the time of purchasing that there was dispute about sanction of building these. If we regularize these now, it will encourage others to indulge in same practice. In my opinion the only way out is to penalize the builder or his heirs by attaching all their assets to pay off occupants and then demolish these buildings. Heir of that builder may include his close relatives also, like siblings, nephews / nieces etc. That should set an example for other unscrupulous builders.

There have been many building collapses resulting in loss of many lives as well as injuring many more apart from loss of belonging and property. In most cases it was due to construction of basements undertaken in the plots next to those. Is it not common sense that if you expose foundation of any building it definitely makes it prone to collapse? Are the persons who undertake construction work not aware of this as they are supposed to be specialists?  Why should those responsible to undertake such constructions in the next plot not be tried for murder or attempt to murder?   

WHY ?

I have been contemplating to write for some time but could not make myself brace up to sit down for longish time to do so. Today I decided to do it as there are too many issues raising questions in my mind.

I am so aghast at statements made by some of our so called learned and popular political leaders about rape. One says that rape is not done intentionally but happens by mistake. Another says that boys will be boys while yet another one says that no one goes out to rape but it happens by default. I would love to know if they would make same statements if the victim is their daughter or granddaughter or daughter in law? Why don’t they put their mind to find how could we inculcate respect for girls in the minds of everyone instead of opening their mouth making such statements?

I strongly condemn brutal killing of young man in Pune by persons who took an offence to his posting caricature of their leader on his Facebook page which they took as degrading. Not that I condone their action but does anyone have right to make fun or degrade persons of prominence without any restriction?  Now why politicians and media are trying to give it communal colour instead of sticking to the facts of the case? Those who took this unwanted step of killing should be penalized by ensuring a speedy trial but at the same time should we not educate people to respect other’s feelings also?

I always respected lawyers as they represent system to ensure law is abided by society but do they have right to take law into their hands? Some time ago a lawyer who got into argument with guard at an educational institute and he called up his colleagues. Together they not only beat that guard up but ransacked the institute also. Another lawyer who is facing case of eve-teasing made his colleagues threaten and beat up not only the complainant but her lawyer also in the court complex where case was being heard. Should such persons not be debarred from practice or even take up any job needing legal qualifications?

In my opinion as a common man, Mr Modi did a right thing by inviting leaders of SAARC on his swearing in ceremony as it would open doors for further talks in congenial way to resolve irksome issues between two countries but then why some persons lead by leaders with blinkers on protested this gesture? Is it not behaving like small children that you did wrong to me or my friends so I am KUTTI ( not on talking terms ) with you?

Talking about this also reminds me that why did one of the ministers from an ally party refuse to take oath as he or his party leader was not happy with the portfolio allotted? Is it that they wanted some portfolio which can have opportunity of making some easy money? Or the allotted portfolio involved hard work?

It seems that people who were defeated in elections have nothing better to do than to point fingers at those in power now, otherwise what is the reason of raising issues of educational qualification of any minister instead of watching his or her performance? I think there are numerous examples of those with very little education having excelled not only in politics but at business also.

Last but not the least, last month I saw a lot of food thrown on footpaths around places of worship. It seemed that some persons wanting to feed the poor had set up stalls to distribute food there. Many persons including small children collected the food so given but consumed only what they wanted and threw away the rest. It is a shame to see such wastage which could have fed at least hundreds needy hungry ones. In this respect I appreciate LANGAR held at GURUDWARAs as people to be fed are made to sit in lines and volunteers serve food to each one as per his or her need ensuring minimum wastage.

May I have your views on what I have rambled on? 

THOUGHTS TO PONDER

I came across these quotes and could not resist sharing these with you :

Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for : Companionship, Intimacy, Friendship etc. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learnt the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.

ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF IN OTHER'S SHOES.

         IF YOU FEEL IT HURTS YOU ,

IT PROBABLY HURTS THE OTHER PERSON,TOO.

A single moment of misunderstanding is so poisonous, that within a minute it makes us forget the HUNDRED lovable moments spent together.

EGO is the only requirement to destroy any relationship...

So be a bigger person skip the E and let it GO.

Take care

JUDGE NOT !!!!!!

A friend had sent this poem to me and I thought of sharing it with you all. I have made some changes at the end of this post.

I was shocked, confused, bewildered,

               As I entered Heaven’s door,

Not by the beauty of it all,

                  Nor the lights or its décor.

But it was the folks in Heaven,

    Who made me sputter and gasp--,

The thieves, the liars, the sinners,

          The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade,

     Who swiped my lunch money twice,

Next to him was my old neighbor,

      Who never said anything nice.

Bob, who I always thought,

  Was rotting away in Hell,

Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,

      Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, “ What’s the deal?

        I would love to hear Your take.

How’d all these sinners get up here?

       God must’ve made mistake.

And why is everyone so quite,

    So somber – give me a clue.”

“ Hush child” He said,

“They’ re all in shock.

No one thought they would be seeing you.”

JUDGE NOT

Every Saint has a PAST,

    Every Sinner has a FUTURE.

Remember …….. Just by going to religious places doesn’t make you pious any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

RESPECT YOUR KIDNEYS

A few days back I read news that a teenager had consumed 4 liters of power drink in a span of 16 hours while taking part in some computer games competition and this lead to failure of his kidneys placing him on critical list.

This set me thinking that most of us when we talk of health we talk about heart, liver or lungs. We say that so and so cooking oil/ food/ fruit is good for heart or overdrinking/ fatty food is bad for liver or smoking/ pollution adversely affects our lungs. How many of us ever speak about kidneys?

Let me now share with you all my own experience which has opened my eyes, though a bit too late.

Last year one fine morning in early February I just did not feel like getting up from bed. I did not want to eat anything. The previous night I had attended wedding of a nephew in NCR. I did not wish to drive at night, so we went by taxi. I thought may be I was exhausted. A couple of days of the same situation our son forced me to go with him to see our doctor. I was advised ultra scan as well as blood test. Next day he collected blood test reports. On seeing the reports doctor told that I be taken to hospital immediately. I was thus hospitalized.

In the next two days some tests were carried out. I was then told that my kidneys were severely infected and were almost non functional. Luckily I responded to medicines and was sent home after 3 weeks. During this period I had to undergo dialysis half a dozen times. I was told that though my kidneys have started functioning almost normal but I would have to carry on taking medicines as well as come for review every month and blood test every quarter. This was as kidneys had not been able to purify my blood during that period leading to composition of blood going haywire. My hemoglobin had gone down to 9 while potassium, sodium and some other components went much beyond upper limits. High potassium in blood leads to erratic heart functioning, may even cause heart to stop.  A lot of restrictions were put on my diet. No leafy vegetables, no tomatoes or sauce, no cucumber, no fruit or fruit juice, no dry fruit, just a couple of cups of tea in a day and NO DRINKS which I used to take in moderate quantity – three or four small Old Monks in the evening due to low blood pressure and enjoyed a bottle of beer on Sunday afternoons. I loved to have a tetrapack of fruit juice, mostly tomato, with breakfast everyday and fruit, specially Banana,  after meals but no more now. It was only after a few months and after blood tests that I was allowed to have guava, papaya or apple in little quantity but still no juice. A month later I was permitted two or three small drinks due to my blood pressure going low often at night. On next review I was permitted to have very limited quantity of tomatoes in preparation of vegetables and small sachet of tomato sauce once a week only but no raw ones. I am still continuing with medicines – 11 pills a day, as well as reviews as told. My stamina has gone down making me feel tired even without undertaking much of hard physical work.

Though it was not pinpointed as to what was the cause but in general it was felt that I may have been taking some food which when digested added some extra nutrients into blood causing unwanted stress on kidneys while filtering blood -  could be regular drinking packed fruit juice/ having fruit regularly after meals .

So friends, it is better to know what caution to take for safeguarding our kidneys than to suffer.