Thursday, July 5, 2012


I feel that I should give follow up on my post Disgusting. Before I go on that may I say something on my previous post KAHAANI GHAR GHAR KI?

The tussle between MILs and DILs has been going on since times immemorial. Unfortunately most of those involved do not understand basic remedy. I am giving that which I had told in my post Happy Married Life spread in 3 parts written in Oct – Nov 2009 :

In laws should treat their daughter in law just as they would like to see their daughter treated in her in laws house.


Daughter in law should behave in her in laws house the way she would like to see wife of her brother do in her parent’s house.

Would that not make life simpler and happier?

Now coming to RS. We had put that plan in action within a couple of days after it was discussed. His daughter complained a few times about being groped in crowded buses or metro in his presence. She acted very hurt and shed few tears also at times. As per her he had been very quiet. Her mother had been telling her to retaliate is such situations by slapping the culprit. Last Sunday she called me up and asked me to come to their house next day as she was going to say something which should make an impact on her father. She discussed it with me and we refined it more. Her brother was also expected to be home as it was off that day for his business.

As planned I reached his house around 6 in the evening. We were just chatting when his daughter arrived in a very furious mood. She said in front of all of us that she was groped while coming in a crowded bus. Her mother said as to why did she not give a slap to that stupid person. Her brother to said same adding if she points out that person he would bash him up. That is when she said, “ I turned around to give a slap to that person and shout so others can beat him but when I saw him I was stunned. He was of Papa’s age and looked very respectable just like him. Thought crossed my mind that if I expose him how would he face everyone who respects him like an elder person.  Or even his own family. So I just gave him a dirty look telling Uncle save this for your daughter and moved away.”  I told his daughter that she should not have spared that person as he deserved to be exposed for his such deplorable act. I added that her father would never even think of doing anything like that as he is so pious and God fearing. As planned I was looking at RS’s face during all this to gauge his reaction. He was swallowing hard and had turned little pale. He also appeared to be in deep thoughts.

We now sincerely hope that he would desist from his disgusting habit.   


Irfanuddin said...

well, " Respect elders according to their behavior not just bcoz of their age "

Amrita said...

Good to see some improvement there...
Your solution to the age old problem seems very logical but if i may be honest a bit simplistic.
As in i have seen many flavors of the tussle.. as comparision between different dils if there are more than one. as in preference for a house wife dil or to such extent as prefering one who gives more gifts/sponsors vacations etc. there is yet another case where dil may behave as per what u have recommended uncle but mil not treating her kindly so shes misunderstood.on the other hand mil might be treating dil like her daughter but dils upbringing might be totally different resulting in she not understanding her mil's love. as in many cases ur mil cannot show love as ur mom does cos again they are very different women.

i somehow feel... we should accept people how they are rather than tryin to change them. if there is 50 bad there must be 50 good in the person. so see the positive all the time. that helps. but then i somehow feel there is no solution to this age old problem :)

i would really want to know ur thots. the thing is i see so many dils including my sil in fact, and everyone has a different story :)

sorry i went back to an older topic here :)

Harman said...

very well written post ..
hope this guy comes to know soon and gets out of these bad habits..
old age needs to be graceful n deserves respect!

Rachit said...

harsh reality... naked truth....
Weakest LINK

Amrita Tanmay said...

चलिए ..बेटी के बहाने उनकी आदत बदल सकती है..पर उस जमात को कौन समझाए जो माँ-बहन-बेटी को मानता ही नहीं है..

Jack said...


I agree with you that it is more of behavior than age which should earn respect. Take care


I know my suggestion is little too simplistic but don't you agree that life is simple and it is we who make it complicated? For every bad there are more good but the bad creates mistrust in good also. Take care


One has to be above board to be respected. Take care


Thanks for your supportive views. Take care