Sunday, September 30, 2012

UPBRINGING ?


Yesterday I went to see an old friend of mine. As I was going alone I decided to go by Metro instead of using car. There was not much of rush and I got a comfortable place to sit. Some more persons got in at the next station. Two young girls, may be around mid 20s, occupied seats next to me. One of them appeared to be newly married as evident from tell tale signs. Other seemed to be her close friend. They were talking all things under the sun and I could not help but hear snatches of conversation while watching  activities and expressions of  other passengers. I was startled to hear the newly married one saying “ ISNE TO 26 SAAL MAAN KI DUM SE BANDHE KATE HAIN TO AB MUJHE KUCHCHH TIME TO LAGEGAA USE  MAAN SE DOOR KARNE MEIN AUR ALAG RAHNE KE LIYE.” ( He has been tied to mother’s tail for 26 years, now I will take some time to distance him from her and live separately.) She further added that her father is supporting her in this.

This set me wondering is this what is being taught to daughters now, to break up families they go into? What kind of upbringing is this? How will her father feel if their son is made to separate out by his wife? I know there are many situations for taking such a step but is thinking of cutting family ties like she said right?

19 comments:

Harman said...

very sad to hear this ,,, frm newly married girl.. and wht lingo GOD ..yes it definitely ..shows the environment and upbringing..the class can be seen,, but still I wud say wht kinda parents,,??
happy seeing all this?
no doubt we see divorces more then marriages!

Irfanuddin said...

Sir, unfortunately its very common now a days....more than anything its the family structure which is responsible for such mentality....bcoz now a days kids use to live with only mother n father so they seldom know about the value of relations and the joy of sharing life with others......i think this is the biggest drawback of not having joint families now.....

Shilpa Garg said...

A very sad attitude and thought process! Parents doing such micro-management and that too which may be detrimental later, for all in both the families is simply not right!
Giving the right values and advice is what is needed and expected!

vineet said...

damnn, poor us,worst r d sitcoms that teaches the same 24X7...worst part is the role f her father, i mean male fraternity generally has no bearing on dis issues neaither they watch ny sitcoms, seriously unbelievable and pathetic, meanwhile condolences to the husband :(

Ann said...

Yes, girls these days are like this. 2 og colleagues are also married and they ar like this. And uncle, I have noticed this, girls like this get good guys. and genuine and good girls end up with bad guys.

I'm very disappointed...

Alka Gurha said...

I blame a lot of mothers who keep messing and interfering in the lives of their married daughters. And Metro is a great place to observe people and ponder over how we are changing as a society.

Sakshi said...

Hi Uncle,
Why do you have to take everything in a negative sense? And, I don't understand, why is it so difficult for the older generation to understand that a couple may need the privacy. I take strict offence to what you have stated in this blog post.
Especially since you have heard just the snatches of conversation. There may be a million reasons that she made that statement, I say it strongly that you are judging wrongly.

Times have changed. And, just because a couple wants their space (maybe demanded from the girl)does not mean that she has been "taught to break families".

Uncle, sometimes staying under the same roof cannot generate the respect and the love amongst the families, and sometimes staying apart does.

I feel, everything is based on the facts and circumstances under which a couple is. Sometimes its the space, or privacy or peace of mind that may be the reason.

Noopur Kothari said...

What to say...may be a generation gap...

Do come at my world sometime...

http://apparitionofmine.blogspot.in/
http://creativeworldofnoopur.blogspot.in/

Jyoti Mishra said...

upbringing do play a role..
but for me individual should be held more r'ble

Keep everything aside I found the language very sickening..

Jack said...

HARMAN :

The language she used is what made me feel shocked. Upbringing really shows. Take care


IRFANUDDIN :

It is such a sad state of affairs that we tend to follow West without thinking. Take care


SHILPA :

I just heard what she said and felt that language showed upbringing and father may feel happy at making her go independent which would ruin her married life and also make her children do the same to her later in life. Take care


Jack said...

VINEET :

Welcome to my space. Yes, TV or films also have a role is such thinking but if parents bring up children with right values such sad situations will not be there. Take care


ANN :

It is mainly nuclear families where children learn such feelings. It is sad but what you say about good girls is so right. Take care


ALKA :

I am a firm believer that parents should never interfere in the lives of their children, boys or girls. They should be there to support in case of need but never try to boss over their relations with spouses. Yes, Metro is good to observe a lot. Take care

Jack said...

SAKSHI :

I am so happy to see such indepth view. I am not taking it as negative but have been totally shocked at the language she used. I am sure that you will agree that language a person uses shows his or her class which in other words is upbringing, isn't it. I support need of space or privacy for everyone but that can be had with some polite way too. Unfortunately when there is some need, such persons come running to elders whom they ditched for own narrow minded reasons. Take care


NOOPUR :

Welcome to my space. It is not just generation gap but way of thinking depending upon upbringing. I will visit you a s a p. Take care


JYOTI :

Nice to see you. The language she used made me feel so stunned. Take care

Amrita Tanmay said...

क्या कहा जाए .. लेकिन ये पक्का कहा जा सकता है यदि उस नव विवाहिता की भाई की पत्नी ऐसा करेगी तो उसे अहसास जरुर होगा .

firefly said...

its very sad. this shouldnt be happening. obviously at times separation is the only right thing to do but how can one woman separate a son or daughter from their parents? and then the same women will start abusing their bhabis if they tried something like that, no? the hypocricy!

Sakshi said...

Uncle,
Literacy and education are two very different things and even though one maybe a literate, being educated takes a LOT of effort.

Jack said...

AMRITA :

YEHI TO DUKH KI BAAT HAI KI KAUN UN LOGON KO SAMJHAYE. Take care


FIREFLY :

Welcome to my space. This is sad state of affairs. Hope we can understand right from wrong to avoid unhappiness. Take care


SAKSHI :

Is this view meant for this post or the one which comes after this? However what you say is absolutely right. Take care

Tranquility Speaks said...

I can't believe parents can't see how their girls talk/ behave/ are in person? Did they never find an opportunity to correct them? So much so that they support her in something like this! My sympathies to the groom of this newly married lady and his family- for the totally wrong choice they've made.

Jack said...

TRANQUILITY :

It is a pity that some parents not only are blind to such behaviour but also at times speak in the same way in front of them.

Take care

ambeekaa singh said...

I am amazed by the language, she used for her mother in law. It is said, daughter in laws can never love you like a daughter. And mother in laws can never love you like a mother.

But when it comes to managing their kids, privacy or no privacy, the kids will be left with their grandparents to save bai ka paisa.

This attitude really sucks and the neutral family funda sucks even more.