Wednesday, May 23, 2012

HARD DECISIONS IN LIFE


Sometimes life gives a real hard test.

Our granddaughter has made some friends of her age group during time she spends to play in our complex park in evenings. One girl who is about eight months elder to her has become a real close friend. She at times comes over to our place before going home. Her parents have thus become quite close to us, just like family members. Whenever they speak to her about me they refer to me as Dadu. Both of them are working and she comes to playground with their full time maid. Whenever she comes to our house after play, I call up her father to check if it is ok for her to be with us for some time. The maid then leaves to do household chores. Afterwards either one of her parents who reaches home early comes to pick her up or I reach her home.

They know that I advise those who approach me in case of any difficulty. Once her mother told us when she had come to pick her up that she is planning to change job. On asking she told that her boss makes unveiled suggestions of getting intimate. She did not want to tell this to her husband who she felt would go over to beat that man to pulp. When I asked her if that was the sole reason for her looking to change the job, she confirmed. I then asked her what was the guarantee that her next boss would not do so. She replied in negative. I asked her if she would like me to suggest some way out. On her agreeing, I asked something about her boss. After getting information on him, I felt that basically he was not bad but was at an age when men get naughty, 40. I suggested that she tell him some time when they are alone in his glass cubicle “ Sir, I respect you a lot and have met your wife whom I find so affectionate and lucky to have you as husband. Please do not let me lose my respect for you and my feelings for her.”  Nothing more or nothing less and no discussions. I further added that she dress little more conservatively and in case she wears jeans then to use a kurta or longish top.  Few days later she confirmed that it worked.   

Last Friday little girl had come to our place and later I went to drop her as   some friends had come along with her mother when she reached home. I wanted to come back after leaving her at the door but she asked me to come in and meet her friends whom she told that I knew. Sure I had met both of them earlier on a couple of occasions. They both are little more than a couple of years elder to her. It turned out that these friends had come to ask her to be with them on girls night out on Saturday. They planned to go to some disco. She was not very keen as she had never gone like that after marriage but they were trying to convince her. On asking, I told her that if her husband did not mind, it was entirely her decision as she was going with friends. She insisted that I tell if it was ok to go. My reply was that if the place was safe and she kept her husband in picture, there was nothing wrong if she went but they must return before it becomes risky. She told me that she would ask her husband to drop them and then go to a pub few kilometers away. Later she would call him to pick them up for return. This sounded fine.

Today morning while going to market for some chore I met her on the way. I was surprised that she had not gone to office and asked if she was not keeping well. I was taken aback when she suddenly started crying uncontrollably. I escorted her to our house to find out as to what was wrong. My wife and I both made all efforts to make her stop crying and share what caused it. After a while she was in little control and then with some cajoling and coaxing what she told us made me write the opening sentence of this post. I am narrating what she told in her words :

We had gone to disco at a five star hotel. My husband dropped us there at about 9:30 pm. He then went to the pub as decided. We selected a table which gave good view of the place. We were enjoying our drinks and chitchatting for may be over half an hour when a man of about late 30s or early 40s approached us. He asked me for dance which my friends nodded for me to go for. I saw my friends too on the dance floor with some partners after about 15 minutes or so. It was quite a good feeling to be asked for a dance and he behaved as a thorough gentleman. After a couple of dances he asked if I would like to have a drink. I felt it would be impolite to refuse, so we went to bar. He ordered what I wanted and for himself also. While sipping our drinks we got talking. He told me that he was married with two children. He was here on a business trip. I also told him that I am married with one child. He asked about my husband and I told him that we were here for a girls night out and he was to pick us up later. He had ordered refills. I was little reluctant but then out of politeness I did not refuse. He suggested that we finish drinks quickly and return to dance floor as good music was going on. I could see my friends too on the floor. We danced for quite some time and I felt little tired. He asked me if I wanted to rest and we returned to the table where we were sitting earlier. He has signaled for drinks and I did not mind it as I was feeling thirsty and enjoying also. Though even while dancing closely he did not touch me in any wrong manner but proximity was giving me a heady feeling. Our friend too came over with their partners and we all were having a good time. After a couple of drinks he asked if I would come for another dance. We went to dance floor which was quite crowded. It was getting little stuffy inspite of the place being airconditioned. Few dances later he asked if I would like to go out for fresh air. I agreed and on the way told one of my friends on the floor. She nodded smilingly and winked.

We went to the lawn. It was about 12:30 and there was cool breeze. We strolled for some time while he talked about his visits to various places saying that he liked Delhi best because of friendliness of people here. He suddenly looked at his watch and said, “ Oh Gosh, I have to call up my  wife.” He asked if I minded to wait in sitting room while he called up from his bedroom. I did not feel any hesitation and went with him. He poured and handed a drink to me while he took his along to bedroom. It seemed a little stiff drink but I thought I could sip it slowly. I am not much of a drinker but can hold my drinks well.

I was looking at an abstract painting trying to make out what it could depict when he came out and put his arms around my waist. I made efforts to move out of his embrace but not strong enough as I was feeling little high. He started nuzzling me and kissed behind my ears. This gave me shivers and I felt I should tell him to stop but my mind refused to obey. I was in kurta and skin tight stretch pants. He moved his hands under my kurta and started caressing my stomach. He was holding me very tightly close to him and I could feel him. I almost fainted with the feelings it generated. It did not register when he removed my kurta and bra. He turned me to face him and started kissing me all over. It was only when he tugged at my stretch pants to lower those that I was jolted into senses. I loudly told him to stop and forcefully moved away. I quickly put on my bra and kurta heading towards door to leave. He kept telling me not to waste time and we should have some fun. I rushed out and went to the disco. I did not see my friends there, so I waited at the table we had occupied earlier. They both came back one by one with their partners in next half an hour or so. They both gave me sly smiles and asked how was it. I was so angry that I almost hit them but somehow controlled myself. I called up my husband and he told me to come to the porch as he would be there in ten minutes or so.

Then she added that she is at her wits end as to what to tell her husband. He would be so angry and to make it worse her friends keep calling up asking how did she enjoy the outing and would she like to go again some time. That is why she did not go to office as she did not feel she can do any work with her upset mind. I looked at my wife and she gave me a nod which conveyed what I had in my mind was right. This was a tricky situation as they both are close to us. I did not want any friction to come up between them as well as did not want her to suffer carrying guilt feelings. So I told her that whatever happened was due to circumstances and little overindulgence in drinks but as she realized in time to stop, she has not done anything grossly wrong. She must get over guilt feeling but keep this to herself. Also her friends are not her well wishers but want her to be like them. She should distance herself from them.

This is why I said that sometimes life gives a real hard test.

17 comments:

Sakshi said...

I honestly feel the lesson- DONT talk to strangers is a lesson to be garnered with through out our lives and even though we are always careful and we always believe that we have great as friends, sometimes we have to wary of them!

I am just glad, that things stopped where they did. It could have been lot worse.
God Bless her.

Rachna said...

That's sad. Women have to be really careful with alcohol and strangers, no matter how harmless they may seem.I don't know if it will be easy for her to overcome her guilt so easily.

Gayu said...

One small mistake and it ruins your entire life...so sad...and its always females who are affected the MOST.
I completely agree with Rachna.It is very difficult for females to get over the guilt...and I hope that she is able to handle this.

Uncle hats off to the efforts you take...to the time you give and the way you come up with practical solutions.

We are blessed to have you!!!!

Lots of love and regards
Gayu and Samu:)

Gowthami Nandigala said...

Dear Jack Uncle,

How are you?I am visiting your place after a long time...This post is a good lesson..Your experiences in life and your good mental ability to deal with situations is simply superb.

Thank you so much for remembering my birthday moreover I was astonished and felt elated to see that.My sincere apologies for being late in responding.

Gowthami.

Ellen said...

She's no longer a kid and adding to that ..she's married. So I am sure that as a responsible adult she very well is aware of the pitfalls of alcohol and of bad company. This two make for a surefire bad combination.

This will haunt her for the rest of her life cos it's not something that can be easily forgotten. Bad secrets have this uncanny knack of rearing its ugly head when and where you least expect it. I hope that it doesn't resurface in the future and do some harm to her marriage.

RiĆ  said...

Thats why a woman has to be alert at all times...u never know what can happen to u if u r not careful...this is so sad.

Live2cherish said...

so strange.

Meera Sundararajan said...

Women get taken advantage of by all men and so one has to be a little careful. People also assume the worst when they see a woman talking freely. Anyway, glad that your neighbour had a narrow escape. But I must say that it is nice of her husband to let her go out with her friends alone to a disco. Few men would do it.

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

Getting over drunk with strangers, and then letting them get friendly leads to such situations.
We do need to be very careful and alert.

Bhagyashree said...

My... I got goosebumps. If a friend cannot be trusted then whom to trust. Really life brings in strangest of moments at times.
www.bbsearchingself.wordpress.com

subtlescribbler said...

Definitely life puts us through such trials that it gets very difficult to realize where exactly the fault lies. Being someone with responsibilities of a family ( men or women) i feel they should keep in mind that a little mistake can lead to great troubles.
Going for drinks and dancing was alright but escorting a stranger for a walk and chats is something she should have avoided.
Anyhow, m pretty young to give my suggestions in that case. my wishes for her. coz at the end of it all, her intentions were right. :)

Jack said...

SAKSHI :

I feel satisfied that my purpose of sharing this has shown result. Be good to people but not without taking adequate precautions. Take care


RACHNA :

Unfortunately it is girls who get bad name even if it is not their fault. One should enjoy but know when to draw a line. Take care


GAYU :

No one remember all good things of someone just because of one misstep. It gives me happiness if I can do something useful for someone. Take care


GOWTHAMI :

I am so happy to see you here. As they say it is better to be late than never. Do give your valuable views again in future. Take care

Jack said...

ELLEN :

I know it will not be easy for her to get over this and that is why I said it is hard decision at times. There was no other way. Take care


RIA :

Though I always say that girls have equal right to live and enjoy life just as boys but I also say that they need to be more careful due to their susceptibility of being taken advantage of. Take care


L2C :

Facts seem strange many a times. Take care


MEERA :

That is sad fact of life. A girl needs to be extra careful lest there are wagging tongues. Take care

Jack said...

PHILO :

One needs to be cautious about being taken advantage of. Take care


BHAGYASHREE :

Welcome to my space. Hope to have your valuable views regularly. Take care


S S :

Welcome to my space. It is ok to have some fun but one must know to be cautious also. Take care

RehyaBond said...

Right now I am so glad that she was able to stop herself in time. That itself is quite a feat, and should commend herself on that. I send my good wishes to her, and hope she overcomes any negative feelings that she feels.

Jack said...

R B :

I am also glad that better sense prevailed at the right time. I too hope and pray that she gets over this sad incident and moves on with her happy life.

Take care

Iqra said...

Ahh that's terrible. Girls should be very very careful now days.