Tuesday, April 3, 2012


Last Saturday evening we had gone to my cousin’s house. He was out of station. His wife was home. She told us that their son had gone to market with wife and son to purchase to purchase pair of new school shoes for him.

We just started catching up with news of other relatives whom we had not met for some time. After about fifteen minutes or so she remarked that does it take 2 hours just to purchase a pair of shoes as their son has been away for that long. I told her that may be they were doing some more shopping. She said that I do not know what goes on and my wife being a woman would understand it better. She added that their daughter in law was slowly taking charge of house. She further added that in the morning she cooks for lunch before going to office and instructs her maid to prepare dinner. This lady is about 4 years elder to me. My reply was as to why did she not look at it this way that her d i l wanted her to take it easy at this age as her grandson would surely make her tired with his pranks after return from school. When I asked if she felt ignored or neglected, her reply was “ NO “. So I told her to think positive.

Their son along with wife & young lad of about 5 years came back in next 10 minutes or so. They had brought a lot of household utility items including a blood pressure monitoring gadget as she suffers from high BP. Her d i l after usual paying respects rushed to kitchen to ensure that we would have tea with some snacks. When I looked at my cousin’s wife, she looked sheepish.

This incident set me thinking as to why we do not look at positive side and also that a time comes when we need to gradually hand over charge to younger generation, isn’t it?


harman singh said...

I agree uncle thats where we lack and should look at the positive side... life is more then these grudges ,,, jus try to look at good qualities and ignore the flaws!

Rià said...

I m so glad that u wrote this...yes what u have said is very true.

Amrita said...

totally agree. more ppl shd think like u uncle.

Komal Ali said...

This is a great post. Grudges only produce sadness in lives. It's about time we all do away with it. :-)

Lovely share. Thank you! I hope you're doing good.


Aliza Khan said...

I so agree with you. I dont know why ppl esp the grown ups are like that :/ I mean u can expect something like this from a kid but nt a grwon up :/
No one is perfect so why look for flaws and hurt someone :/ Its just not right. We need to grow up

Jyoti Mishra said...

Its a fact that giving up the authority they held for years is not at all easy.
They very thought being not in power give them chills.... but it should be done... !!!

Nice read :)

Me said...

That's right. We have all become cynics and find it hard to trust people or look at the brighter side, this constant insecurity leads us to assumptions.. and we forget to appreciate good people in our lives.

viddhi said...

totally agree ! :)

but its also true that old people sometimes get insecure of their position in the house especially women after their son gets married,they think they wouldn't be given as much love and respect as they should be getting... and its difficult to change them and the way they think ...the best way is to understand them and treat them with love,respect and sometimes let them control things or pretend that everything is under their control ;)
makes life easier for both!

Jack said...


To have peace of mind and happiness it is must to be positive, isn't it? Take care


Thanks for such supportive view. Take care


I too wish so, even if we are just humans. Take care


So nice to see you here. Grudges make own life miserable, isn't it? Take care

Jack said...


Yes, what is the difference between grown ups and kids if we behave in such negative way? I gave my views on Mehreen's post that " Love is not counting flaws in partner." Take care


I know but it is a must that we pass on the batten if we wish our children to be self reliant. Take care

ME :

We do need to change that attitude, isn't it? Take care


Thanks for such realistic view. I know that is the situation but I strongly feel that to get respect one needs to give respect too. Take care

suvaiba said...

clinging back is like eating one dish forever coz once it tasted awesome.
change is the law of nature
and no on can deny the fact of death and that life has to move on.
nice post
take care.! :)

Rachna said...

Jack uncle,

First time on your blog. You are so right in saying that we often tend to overlook the positives and focus on negativity. The older generation (especially mils) find it harder to let go of the power they have held in their family for long.


Jack said...


Thanks for supportive views. It is so good to see this thinking from a young lady. Take care


I am so glad to see you here. I did visit your space a few times but am guilty of not being regular. I will make amends soon. I know that it is hard to let go of power one enjoys for so long but time comes when M i Ls must remember their own days as D i Ls and what they looked for, isn't it? Gradual transition is a must to ensure happiness all around. Take care

Arooj said...


You must have a meeting with my mother in law as well.:-)
(aaah! an old dilemma of womanhood)

Maria said...

So well written. I hope more people think like this. We would see lesser family dramas and breakups.

Jack said...


I would love to meet her to make her understand and give you your due. Take care


I am so glad to see you here. I too wish that more people understand that we have to live with changing times. Take care

Jack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

It is human nature to avoid the positive aspects. We always tend to pick up the faults that people have.
I don't think a little appreciation would do any harm :)
Liked the post :)

Being Pramoda... said...

This is very necessary and most people fail doing so.. many families suffer with this in the society... may be kind of ego problem!!

good post uncle..

Sach! said...

Uncle Jack,
This is such a nice post. You're a great man and that is why you tend to see the good in people. On the other hand, most of the human beings tend to look for a selfish motive in the goodness of others. It is not completely their fault; they have had bitter incidence. But then that is when we need to forgive and forget.

I hope things go better everywhere. Peace!

Blue Moon said...

Read your post...nicely written and expressing one of the very basic feelings and temperament...wonderful framing

Jack said...


If we try to be positive, it will only lead to our peace of mind and happiness. Take care


Nice of you to find time for visit. You are right it is EGO which is main culprit. Take care


I am so happy to see you here. You are right most of the people look at person who tries to help as to what is his or her interest even if they have not had any bad experience as this is human tendency to doubt. So I keep in mind that offer help but do not force it. Thanks for appreciation.
Take care

B M :

Thanks for your visit. Hope to have your valuable views often.
Take care

Chakoli said...

Its hard for people to change is what I have felt...

Jack said...


It surely is but one can make efforts with love and affection which will bear results, may be slowly at times. Take care

Meera Sundararajan said...

Jack you have raised an important issue- a woman's world is her home and her "control room" is the kitchen. So when another woman begins to start making decisions around it the older one feels threatened! I remember my mother telling me that when she used to live with her MIL - my grandmother she ( that is my mother) was only allowed to do the " helper tasks" n the kitchen like grinding masala, making the rice etc as her MIL felt that handing over charge may mean taking over her power!!

Jack said...


I agree but with changing times we also need to change. It is better to hand over charge gradually than to split the family.

Take care

Purba said...

A classic case of glass half-full syndrome.

Jack said...


One has to be positive instead of half glass empty syndrome, isn't it?

Take care

Amrita Tanmay said...

पूर्णतः सहमती आपके विचारों से ..काश सब समय रहते यही सोचते और करते भी .. मैं आपको पढने नहीं आ पाती हूँ इसके लिए क्षमा तो नहीं मांगूंगी .. कोशिश करती हूँ आने की ..

Jack said...



Take care