Friday, December 2, 2011

SOLUTION? Part 2 and concluded

Let me first of all clarify some points as I was disturbed after going through some of the comments in the previous post :

a. I am sure that you will agree with me that reel life is often inspired by incidents of real life.

b. My aim of sharing this is not to sensationalize it but to understand what went wrong and why. And what lessons can be drawn.

c. My friend and I have a lot of common beliefs, one of those is - anyone can condemn a wrong doer but our true worth is in redeeming that person. My friend being the emotionally affected person withdrew into himself leaving me to do what I felt was correct action.

Keeping the above in view I am now narrating rest of what happened that day and subsequently. This is going to be a long post but I did not want to break it up adding to my agony as I treat her as family member.

We moved to Coffee Bar which was quite deserted at that time. I guided them to sit at far end in an alcove. My friend looked drained out and weak. She was crying silently. Once we were settled and waiter had taken our order, I looked at my friend nodding to convey that I will do my best. He conveyed his agreement by nod. I asked her as to tell what was going on. She just looked down and continued crying. She murmured repeatedly with downcast eyes “ Sorry. Please forgive me.” After our order was served, I had to coax her to have coffee. As we sat in silence all through while having coffee, it became apparent that she was not likely to speak in his presence. He understood that and told me that he would go back to seminar lest someone comes looking for him. He thus left us alone.

It took all my persuasive powers to convince her that we wanted to protect her and that was possible only if she shared what happened. She said that she did not do it willingly but it was out of compulsions. She asked me to help her in saving her marriage. Once I convinced her that aim was that she started talking. A little cajoling was needed in between to make her continue whenever she hesitated due to feeling shy to reveal details. She poured her heart out. I am putting what she said in a narrative form in first person on her behalf with little moderation of language :

We are two siblings, brother is younger by little over 2 years. I have been good looking right from childhood. My father had been very strict with me for everything but not so much with my brother. My mother did not support me as she felt scared of him. As I grew up I felt this discrimination more even in small things like enjoying chocolates or cold drinks or going out to stay overnight with friends. I felt starved for affection. This made me look for attention and affection from others. I also craved for such denied pleasures and looked for way to have these outside his watchful eyes.

I was about 10 years old when an uncle shifted to a house closeby. He visited us with his wife and children who were much older to me. He used to offer me chocolates or toffees at times when he found me playing with friends. One day he asked me to come inside his house offering a cold drink. Once inside he made me sit in his lap while he held a Coca Cola in his hand. Though I was not keen but attraction of cold drink made me do his bidding. While I was sipping cold drink, he kept moving his hands all over me telling how sweet I was. I knew it was not alright and my father will beat me if he comes to know but having that drink made me forget all that. After that he off and on took me inside the house on pretext of offering something or the other and every time he fondled my budding breasts or touched my privates mostly over clothes. I did not like it as it felt wrong but temptation of having something denied by my father outweighed it. And frankly at times I liked his attention and touch. This lead to my thinking that there is no harm if I can get what I want by letting a person do little touching me or so. However they moved off from that house in another 2 or 3 months.

I was in an all girls school in our locality and as such did not have any contact with boys except those related to my class mates or friends. I did not dare to speak to any of those when alone due to fear of my father. As I moved to college which was co-ed and in another locality at good distance from our house I came in contact with boys. It felt strange but pleasant. After a couple of months I became very friendly with one boy. He paid a lot of attention to me. We talked to each other very freely. He used to treat me at good eating places in close vicinity to our college and at times we went to see movies, mainly English, during our free time. In the dark movie hall he used to either hold my hand or put his arm across my shoulders. He was from another town. He and his two friends stayed in two room accommodation close to college. At times we used to take my favourite dishes and eat at his place with his friends or alone. He also used to take chilled beer sometimes but I used to take just a few sips from his glass. Again it was attraction of doing something my father prohibited which made it exciting. I accepted his hugging or kissing as part of our relationship. Gradually we developed more intimacy. Once when we were alone and I was feeling highly aroused by his intense kissing plus heavy petting, he positioned himself on top of me. Before I could realize he had started making love. Initially I made efforts in vain to push him off but soon gave it up as I started liking the sensation. I cried after that but he consoled me saying that he felt I wanted it as the way I was pressing myself against him and it was culmination of our love. He further added that he would marry me at appropriate time. I felt a sense of exhilaration as if I had won a point against my overbearing father. Thereafter thinking that now it was done, there was no harm in doing it again, I continued this with him whenever we could till we finished college. After that he went back to his town promising me to remain in touch but never called up or wrote.

I completed MBA and wanted to work. My father let me on one condition that I hand over my salary to him and he would give me money for my needs. I had no option but it was painful to get money from him as he negated my reasons mostly. I used to get limited pocket money within which I had to pay our canteen bills. I thus at time had refused to attend office parties as I could ill afford to pay my share. My boss was quite young, a couple of years older than me and a bachelor. He mostly conveyed his appreciation for my hard work. This motivated me to work harder as well have soft corner for him. I never refused any additional task given by him. He used to offer me tea or coffee whenever we worked together on any project. It seems he had judged me correctly. At times we used to go out for meeting clients and on such occasions he used to treat me to lunch etc. He used to crack double meaning jokes and touch my hand or put arm across while we were alone in restaurant or office. He sort of pampered me. It was about six months after I started working that we had to meet an important client in nearby town. We were to go in the morning and return by evening. On reaching there after a couple of hours drive we learnt that he had to go out of town suddenly due to his father falling sick. My boss suggested that we start back after lunch which I agreed to. We went to a small resort just outside the town on our way back. He asked me to wait in the car while he went to reception. On return he drove the car to a hut type cottage telling that he had ordered food which would be served there. The single room cottage was not very big but spacious enough to accommodate a double bed, a small dressing table and couple of chairs with a centre table. There was TV and attached washroom. We were both in formals, he was in suit while I was in trousers with tucked in shirt and sleeveless jacket. The food was served and there were a few bottles of beer also. On his insistence I accepted a glass of beer. He put on some music channel playing romantic melodies. He took off his coat and tie saying it seemed too formal and laughingly assisted me to remove my jacket. He kept refilling my glass. After some beer I felt gay abandonment, giggling on his non-veg jokes. We continued having beer for some more time then he suddenly came over to me, pulling me to my feet and kissed me saying he could not resist as I looked so ravishing. This made me feel happily proud. He guided me to bed and we sat down. He kept holding me close and kissed me fiercely which made me respond with equal gusto. I was feeling such sensations that I made no effort to resist when he removed my shirt. His manipulations made me gasp and I did not even know when we shed clothes. After we had made love, reality hit me hard. We quietly dressed up and returned. Next day I did not feel like going to office but thought of making excuses to my father forced me to go. He behaved as if nothing had happened which was fine with me. We carried on with work as usual but I felt uneasy calm and a knot in the pit of my stomach. It was a couple of days later when I was discussing some project with him when he asked me to come towards his side to watch something on his laptop. I was dumbstruck to see it was recording of that cottage focused on the bed. Though it was bit hazy but we both were recognizable. It seems he had surreptitiously video-recorded it on his mobile placing it facing the bed. He then told me it was safe with him as long as I did not deny him what he asked for. After that I had to satisfy him as and when and whatever way he demanded. A couple of months later he told me that he would like me to please a friend of his but I refused saying that I would rather commit suicide. It was a month after that I got married and when I joined back I learnt that he had moved out to another company. That however did not give me any respite as he kept asking me sometimes to meet him even when I begged him to leave me alone as I am married. He is the one you saw me with today.

On my asking she gave me his name and where he was working. She also told me she had learnt that he got married a month ago. She had kept crying while telling all this and pleaded that she wanted to save marriage as this was first time in her life that she found freedom with so much trust adding that to work or not was left to her and no one asked about her salary.

We moved out to reception and on calling up my friend came over. He told that seminar was almost over and he is ready to move. She had her car but I did not want her to go alone. So I told my friend that I will accompany her and he could drop me once we reach his place. On way back I requested her to take leave for few days and not to take any calls from him or any unknown number. If by chance he did get through to her she should politely tell him that she would call later, though I did not expect him to call up. When my friend dropped me home, I briefly told him that she is victim of blackmail due to her old folly. We put our heads together and made a plan to save her from that situation. He agreed not to say anything to anyone.

I spoke to some persons in corporate world to get information on that person. I made it seem as if I was interested to meet him for some CSR project. I struck gold as one of my contacts knew him but did not have very high opinion about him. He told that his reputation was very bad as he is alleged to have ruined life of a few girls. He told me that he had left company I was talking about as he got married to the only child of a well settled businessman and joined him. He promised to find out more and let me know later.

Next day, Sunday, I went to my friend’s house as per plan. I wanted to gauge how would his son react on this issue. I had seen him grow up and knew that he has taken after his father in many ways. When I told him that I wanted to have a word, he said that he had a feeling something was amiss as his father seemed little too preoccupied while his wife seemed close to tears all the time. He further added that he firmly believes in past is past as long as one does not revive it. So I told him that his wife was being blackmailed due to some indiscretion in the past. He offered to do whatever needed as he knew she did not have very happy childhood. So armed with this I went ahead with our plan.

On Monday afternoon I got a call from my source with more information. It emerged that his father in law is a man of the world. He took all possible precautions to safeguard his daughter’s wellbeing and future. She is MBA in finance and has been working with her father since her college days. She was well versed in his business. As he was not keeping good health he had drawn a will to pass on everything in her name. She was already in control of most of the things. She was also aware of greedy nature of persons and as such was on guard for that. Though he was with them in business but did not have any important hold. My contact had also been able to find names of two girls with whom he was linked in the past.

I shared this incident with you on Monday evening but upto her seeing us and our moving down.

This additional information made me realize that he had married for cushy life and will not be in a position to face divorce. This made my further task easy. Otherwise I was thinking of asking help from another friend who is a retired senior police officer.

On Wednesday, I with my friend and his son went to his office. I requested the young man to wait in the car. Though I knew he would not do anything inappropriate but still did not want him to meet that person. That “gentleman” was shocked to see us both there. He quickly ushered us in what seemed to be his office. Before he could say anything, I asked him if he would like to discuss what I had in mind or would he prefer that we invited his father in law and wife also. He could not say anything so I introduced myself and my friend giving our past occupations and also told him that husband to that girl was waiting in the car outside. He turned pale and asked us to let him off. I told him that if he ever harassed the girl again, I will come with her and named other two girls to meet his wife. He started perspiring. On my repeating what I said he just kept nodding his head that he will abide by what I said. He was stunned when I asked him to open that video on his laptop. He at first denied having it but on my insistence with threat to call police for help, he told that after copying it on CD he had deleted it. We believed him as he was so terrified. I asked for the CD which he reluctantly took out of his briefcase and handed over. After checking it’s authenticity on his PC I broke it in four pieces and put in my pocket. I asked for his mobile but he stated that after uploading it on laptop he had deleted it. However to be sure I did check his mobile. We left him with another warning that if he wanted to continue with happy life he should never again call up or make any effort to contact this girl.

On reaching the car I told her husband that matter is closed to our satisfaction. He thanked me and said that he is not interested in any more details. Later after he had reached us home and left for office, I advised her that she may join office on coming Monday but be careful in future. Also I requested her not to hesitate in sharing if she faces any problem in future.

Now I only hope and pray that it remains peaceful and also I do not face such situation ever again.

I would like to request you not to be a HAUWAA ( Demon ) for your children, specially girls, but to be accessible to them, make them confident to share their dreams, insecurities, wants, aspirations and curiosities without any fear.

23 comments:

Gayu said...

YES...most of the Indian families treat girls the way this girl was treated. Why go far, my Dad also never allowed me to wear jeans & t-shirts, no outings with friends...and so on.

What I feel is that parents should draw a line, one needs to be strict...but there has to be a limit to it. Questioning each and every act of children...always demanding an explanation..takes a toll.

Lagam haath mein pakdo...jab zaroorat ho, tab kheecho.

TRUST plays a very important role, if parents won't trust their children, then who else will???

I am glad that things got resolved. Hats off to her husband who was so co-operative and understanding.

You post made me think....think a lot...maybe a new post from my side.

Have a nice weekend. Take care
Gayu

Harman said...

such a nice post!
it says all a perfect example to raise girls and restrictions only to certain level!
parents need to trust kids and be friends.. ..I admire the way you handled this case
!!
keep up the good work!!
keep smiling!!

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue said...

I dint want to comment on the previous post without reading the whole story.

I feel very sorry for the girl and for what she went through. If you hadn't intervened, I don't know for how long she would have suffered in his hands silently.
And she's lucky to have such a supporting husband. It just goes to show how different people can be.

Parents shouldn't be so strict.. there needs to be a balance. My dad is extremely over protective but he has never restricted or refused me anything so I respect his fears too. Parents have to communicate with their kids. They need to teach their kids to be responsible and cautious instead of blindly putting up rules and restrictions

This must have been a very tough and emotional situation for you to handle. But I am glad it all worked out.

Sakshi said...

Reply in form of a post on my blog.

Humaira Anwar said...

dear uncle jack! i read your post quite patiently even though i have abandoned reading after this tough job. Like always your posts are reality of our story ; a story of one of us and place where we could learn a lot. even if we are unmarried, married or what so ever .

I hope God bless you with more health and vision to contribute your part fervently =) take care

Ritika said...

I would just want to thank you for protecting the girl from the blackmailing abuse. Girls are stuck in a fix when men become demons and threaten them.

Take Care.

Me said...

I feel really bad for the girl. All that happened to her is really sad...and just because of lack of affection from her father's side, she ended up in such a deep trouble...it is all a chain-reaction...

Great! that you helped her out. It is an honor to read someone like you.

Being Pramoda... said...

hi uncle, i think i missed on it completely.. i will do read both posts and come back :)

Shreya said...

This is sad. Whatever you did to save her are the signs of a great gentleman. I guess every Indian girl can relate with this post. Nicely penned Sir :)

Jack said...

GAYU :

Parents should always treat children as per their age. It must be impressed on them that freedom comes with responsibility. Once youngsters understand that there will be no problem by and large. Thanks for such supportive and detailed view. Take care


HARMAN :

I am glad that you support my views on this issue. Take care


TGAFA :

Thanks for indepth views. It was quite a strain on me. I only wish and hope that I do not have to face such situation ever again. Take care

Jack said...

SAKSHI :

I am so grateful that you took it up further. I read and left my comments in that post. Take care


HUMAIRA :

Thank you for such supportive views and your such affectionate wishes. Take care


RITIKA :

I always feel that it is my moral duty to help someone who needs it and shows willingness to accept it. Take care

Jack said...

ME :

I only hope that those who read this remember it when dealing with own children. Take care


PRAMODA :

Looking forward to your views. Take care


SHREYA :

Thanks for your support. I only hope and pray that no other girl ever goes through such situation. Take care

Jyoti Mishra said...

Extreme n unnecessary restrictions often result this way...
m glad that u helped that girl n she is so lucky to have such a loving family who tackled the whole situation patiently n intelligently.

Jack said...

JYOTI :

Right you are. Parents need to be friendly so children can speak their mind without fear. Of course, that does not mean no discipline but freedom with understanding responsibilities. Take care

Gayu said...

A post which I had written long back. Hats off to you Uncle, you put in so much efforts to revive so many lives:)

http://gsaptekar84.blogspot.com/2011/04/dont-give-uplife-is-indeed-beautiful.html

Hope the girl is fine.
Take care
Gayu

viddhi said...

i feel sad after reading it ..but this is reality. I am really happy and proud the way you saved that girl .
honestly, in our society not many people would have done the same.

it is not just a lesson for girls to be careful or parents to be understanding but for everyone to be broad minded enough to not to put the blame on girls and condemn them for life.

Jack said...

GAYU :

Visited and re-read that post. You had brought out such valid points which I hope can be understood by all and followed. Take care


VIDDHI :

I fully agree with you on what you said in the concluding paragraph. Take care

Purba said...

Overprotective, domineering parents often mess up their child's life.

And she courted trouble to rebel against her dad. The girl obviously has issues that she needs to sort out.

She was lucky enough to have you and an understanding family. But I feel she needs counseling.

Rachit said...

From the description it seems to the problem aroused by his father. Is it?? I ask you.. do you think his father wanted all that to happen with her girl? Don't reply.. I know the answer is in negation. None will want that, so where is the problem. The problem lies within us. We all are too greedy. Some are greedy of fame and others of money. We can take her narration that might be in childhood its not easy for someone to resist the charm of things we like. But then adult know whats good or bad for them. She might have feared to tell her husband about her past, but what about his present. She kept him in dark. It wasn't only the fault of her boss but equally hers.

Weakest LINK

Jack said...

PURBA :

Being overstrict has adverse affect. In most cases those subjected to such treatment do what is not permitted in the absence of imposing authority. I had a heart to heart talk with her and she told me that the way she is treated by husband and in laws has made her a different person. She confessed that she could not still speak to her husband about that man blackmailing her. Presently I am keeping away and even my friend has gone out for sometime to give her time to settle down as she must be feeling about our having come to know all. Take care


RACHIT :

It is certain that no father will ever like children to go wayward. But as I said to Purba above, overstictness has adverse affect in most cases. Take Kapil Sibal's statement about social networks, what is the reaction? She could not muster up courage to tell husband about being blackmailed. Her wanting to have what was forbidden is the main cause of her falling in the trap. Take care

Neha said...

Read this story now and I really admire the way you dealt with this whole thing. Moreover, I admire the young man who stood by his wife in times she needed him most. I can only imagine what all she must have had to go through and pray that her wounds heal soon.

Jack said...

NEHA :

Sorry, saw your views now only. More than me it is her husband and father in law who should be admired for their remarkable understanding. Hope she is fully healed soon. Take care

Starry-eyed nut said...

Am visiting after what seems like years, but heart rending post! I hope her husband accepts it all...it can b tough, I would have found it difficult! Great post uncle!