In the beginning of my previous post I had said that we all need space to do something or the other and also that we do not want anyone to hear our personal conversation. Further I had written about what I had observed without making any judgement and asked for opinion from you all. Surprisingly some of you felt that I had thought of her adversely. Most of you rightly deduced that she may be talking to her mother. I do not know her except that they stay in the block next to our and have seen her father in law at times with his grandson when I go with our granddaughter to the park. We are just on hello hello terms.
Now coming to the rest of the post :
One of their neighbors is also a dog lover and has a dog. We often meet while walking our dogs. That is how we got talking in general. He had been with me a few times when I observed what I stated. I did not say anything on this. A few days ago he told me about her.
She has been married for a little over 5 years. Though it was an arranged marriage, they had met a few times to get to know each other. Soon after marriage she started insisting that they should stay separately. Even her mother told her in laws that they should live independently. Her father in law had told that it was upto their son to do what he wished and neither he would interfere nor he would like anyone to do so. Her husband being the only son wanted parents to stay with them and he had made it clear to her before marriage which she had agreed to. Her father in law is retired government officer who contributes to family expenses from his pension. She still kept pestering him to separate out and at times there were ugly spats between the couple which the neighbors were witness to. Her in laws are non-interfering and have told their son to live separately if that brings peace in his life. He is not keen as he had told that if they did so there will be immense interference from her mother who is extremely overbearing. This young lady is still not reconciled and keeps on with her demand off & on. Her young son is taken care of by her in laws but as soon as she comes back from office she takes him to her room shutting the door inspite of young boy saying that he wants to be with granny. This he said that he had seen few times when he was in their house at that time. Her mother seldom visits as she understands that due to her interference she is not welcome warmly. It is well known that she still keeps on instigating her daughter to keep up with her demand and wants her to keep updating her on each and every thing happening in the house. This young lady seems to be controlled to a large extent by her mother.
I strongly feel that after marriage one should not interfere in daughter’s affairs unless it is deemed necessary due to domestic violence, mental or physical for which recourses are available. Let the couple settle down and accept that there will be some differences in any couple, specially newly married. All the more reason to severe umbilical cord if her in laws treat her with due respect and love. And one should use freedom or space judiciously and not for creating disharmony.