Thursday, June 16, 2011

WOMEN SHAKTI ( POWER )

This happened about a year ago. I was on my way back from market when I saw a tempo with household luggage at the entrance gate of our housing complex. It seemed someone was shifting in. As I was passing by, a car came in and stopped near the tempo. A smart and good looking young lady was in the driver seat with about 3 years old girl ( later I came to know she is her daughter ) in passenger seat and an elderly lady ( young girl’s DADI as learnt later ) of my age group in the rear seat. She told the driver to follow her. After that day I used to see that little girl either cycling or playing in our locality park, when I accompanied our granddaughter for her evening fun there. She and our granddaughter got friendly and started cycling or playing together. She was being looked after by a maid with DADI also with them and her mother used to join little later on her return from office. We got onto hello hello terms. I learnt her name was Asha. At times my wife used to be with me and after few such meetings she and DADI got talking. Asha also used to join them when she came. They visited our house a few times to meet my wife. After we shifted from there she kept in touch with them. What I learnt later from my wife I am sharing with you all.

Asha’s parents belonged to well to do middle class. She studied in best of the schools as well as college. When she joined college her elder brother migrated to USA after completing engineering in IT. Later he got married to an American girl there. They visited India few times but mostly for short period. Her parents never went there. She after Post graduation in psychology completed MBA in HR. During school and college days she was good in sports and extra curricular activities as drama, debates etc. She had a number of friends, both girls and boys. She started working after MBA. She was well liked due to her good nature as well as being helpful. Though she had lots of friends but she was however not close to anyone to call it an affair. She built up good reputation in office as hard working and ethical person.

A young man little elder to her took fancy to her. His name was Ajeet. He was into garments export business and had office in the same building where her company was located. He followed her a number of time and subsequently got himself introduced through some higher up in her organization. He often started “accidently” meeting her in the corridor or lift. He asked her out a number of times but she politely declined. She declined his offers of lift home too. He followed her home a few times. In short he made all efforts of getting close to her but though she spoke to him with all politeness did not accept his overtures. One day he bluntly told her that he would like to marry her. She told him that she hardly knows him and his family not at all as well as it was upto her parents to decide. She had told her mother about him as it was her habit to share her day with mother always.

One day on her return from office she learnt from her parents that his mother had visited them with proposal for her marriage. She had told that her husband had passed away few years ago thus leaving him to take care of business from young age. He had no siblings and they had very few other relatives. Her parents told her that they would get back after speaking to her. She informed them that she hardly knew him and his constant behavior to get close to her was something not to her liking. A few days later his mother called them up to ask if they had decided. They told her that she was not willing to marry as yet. He however continued his efforts to woo her. About a month later her father died in an accident. Her mother was heart broken and went into depression. Her brother came over alone for related ceremonies and left without any offer to take them to USA. Her mother was not keeping too well thereafter. Ajeet alongwith his mother attended all ceremonies. His mother became a regular visitor and even he used to come over often.

Sometime later Ajeet’s mother brought up proposal again saying that as her mother was not keeping too well it should be decided on priority. Her mother too was keen to marry her off as soon as possible. Seeing her mother’s condition and keenness of Ajeet’s mother, she consented. This was also as his mother was very affectionate. A very simple marriage took place within a period of three months. There were hardly 10 odd relatives from his side while from her side many relatives attended. Her brother however did not come but sent some money to mother. This all seemed fairy tale.

On the very first night when she was alone with Ajeet, she got shock of her life. His first words were how dare she showed rejection to him and he would teach her a lesson. He followed it up with forcing himself on her brutally without caring if she was hurt. Though she knew about sex but this was her first time and it left her traumatized. This made her shudder at the hint of his wanting sex. He told her to quit her job and take care of his affairs if she wanted to work or stay at home. She had no choice but to work with him. He used to pull her down in front of others without a care about her feelings. At home he treated her as if he is lord and master whom she has to bow to all the time. He used to abuse her telling that she was not a virgin when she married him and any amount of reasoning about being active in sports did not mean anything to him. His mother was aware of it and she sided her but could not do anything more than that. Asha bore all this as she did not want her ailing mother to be burdened. He got bold with this and even started hitting her at times. First time she retaliated with hitting back but he used force to subdue her. There was no stopping him after that. When she got pregnant her mother in law made her go to her mother as she did not want any mishap. After birth of daughter he even told her that she could not give him son as she must have got pregnant from someone else. Her mother in law used to cry with her. Her mother passed away when her daughter was two years old. She then started telling him to stop his misbehaviour or she will report him to police. He mocked her that as she has kept quiet for so long no one would believe her.

Water went over head when he could not do anything to her due to her warnings, to vent his anger in frustration he slapped their daughter for no fault of the little girl calling her whore’s child. He just laughed when she told him that she would be leaving with her daughter. So that is when she came over to our locality. Her mother in law too left her son along with her. Asha started working in a reputed company in HR.

I bow my head to these brave ladies who took such courageous step. Later I learnt that his mother consulted family lawyer and sent him notice for share of property as well as business for her, Asha and little girl. Ajeet wanted them to compromise and return but his mother refused unless their rightful shares are transferred to them. That process is on and in another month or so they will have their share of property and business.

46 comments:

Dishita said...

Jack,
This story tells me not everything in daily sops is fictional. On the other hand, it affirms the belief that one should know the person before trusting them to surrender yourself.

Tanvi said...

Just goes on to prove how unreliable people can be. You can never really know anyone, completely. Though, I wish she had spoken long before but better late than never.

♥ from © tanvii.com

Harman said...

very nice...Hats off to asha ..for taking this step with her mother -in -law..
What kind of love story waz that? he wooed he...obsessed with her and then once he got her ..he started abusing her..
seem to be sadist ..Girls should be educated...this is the moral of the whole story ..to earn their living and kick these Ass holes ...
pround of these girls.

Tongue-fu Lady said...

She should have left him on the first night itself. It was stupid for her to believe that this monster can turn into a decent man. Honestly I feel that society takes advantage of the fact that women compromises all the time. I think its time things changed around here.

Although its brave how Asha fought against all odds n freed herself, she is scarred for life. So is the child. But I will blame the MIL to some extent. She went with the proposal despite her son's behavior. A man can't become a monster overnight, right? I m sure, she, like all mothers, thought that marriage can make a valmiki out of her son. Maybe its that guilt, that made her help Asha so much. But it is a very rare case. Most mothers often support their sons monsturous behaviors, and does such love poisons the heart??

Chakoli said...

Ahhh... what type of people !!

many times it takes alifetime to knw people..
but hw can people have double faces...

Sanjana said...

Few men are just impossible! Kudos to Asha, she really is brave lady and in fact I also appreciate her mother in law..nt every mother on this earth has this much courage to defend her daughter in law and not her son..!

Nice read! :)

Ritika said...

What should I say?

Men are monstrous. And you just exemplified it.

Women have always been categorised as the weaker sex of the society and men take hell lot of advantage of it. The day women will show her true colors, no men shall be spared.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

more than Asha, it is Ajeet's mother who should be applauded. She didnt let her natural (motherly) instincts get in the way. And it proves that contrary to all the noise and nonsense we hear, mothers-in-law can be a great source of support. Cheers to her !

I know of a friend whose mother-in-law was also supportive of her rather than her son.

Proves again, does it not, that in many cases the elders in the family can be a great help ??

Thank heavens Asha was so well educated.

In this story , we have 2 men .. Asha's bro and Ajeet .. and both were assholes in their own way !!

Hey JAck .. I had typed my views in the last post ... but blogger caused some problems and i lost my comment .. then , was spent .. and couldnt retype ...

Btw, thanks for the compliment opn my blog !

Purba said...

That man wasted so much of energy wooing her just so that he could abuse her? I am surprised that his mother didn't have a clue about his devious intentions.

But hats off to the lady for following her head and not her heart. Love is not always blind.

Jack said...

DISHITA :

Life is not a fairy tale. I agree one needs to know someone better before getting into relationship but even if you know someone for a number of year or his / her family too, it is only when you live together 7 X 24 that you come to know the person actually. Take care


TANVI :

As I told Dishita above even if you know someone for a number of year or his / her family too, it is only when you live together 7 X 24 that you come to know the person actually. She could not do anything earlier due to her mother's condition. After her passing away she took stand but when he made daughter a target she took firm action. Take care


HARMAN :

His behaviour was so despicable, both before and more so after marriage. I agree girls should be qualified to be on their own should the need arise. Take care

Jack said...

T- F L :

I agree with you that is what she should have done but she did not due to condition of her mother. I also agree that a person definitely shows some traits which can tell how will he behave and his mother must have known that he is egoist. However I admire siding Asha even if it is due to guilt feeling. Take care


CHAKOLI :

True, a lot of persons show different face than what they actually are. It is only when you are living 24 X 7 that you know the person actually. Take care


SANJANA :

I am so happy to see you. I could not visit your space earlier as it seemed to be only for invitees. I navigated from here and I was lucky to read your posts. I left my comments too. Yes, as I said I bow to both of them for taking this strong step. Take care

Jack said...

RITIKA :

All fingers are not same. There are many good persons too against such monsters. It is advisable to know would be partner properly before committing and our society must open up to that. Take care


DEEPA :

I agree that his mother is to be applauded more as she did not side her own son. Elders in the family are a boon which should be recognised by us. I feel very strongly angry at her brother. Ajeet is to be despised. Take care


PURBA :

His efforts to woo her were not successful as he expected but that does not mean that he should have got so revengeful. His mother must has known that he is egoist but being mother thought it would be fine after marriage. She is to be admired to side with Asha in this crisis. Take care

kavita said...

Kudos to both Asha and Ajeet's mother for taking such a bold step.They deserve to live free of fear.Thanks for sharing this story.

Jack said...

KAVITA :

As they say Better late than never. I hope he learns a lesson and these brave ladies ensure that. Take care

viddhi said...

beautiful ..indeed !

very proud of the way Ajeet's mother acted in the whole situation. though i still believe that asha should have taken this step much earlier but it ok ..better late than never..

thanks for sharing.

Ann said...

I appreciate Asha for her courage of taking a strong decision.. But Ajeet's Mother has also shown that she is a kind lady by standing on Asha's Side.. Well, all women must be like that.. but this courage only comes with independece in monetary terms.. that's why all parents must provide their daughters the necessary education so that they can support themselves in extreme conditions.. Thanks for sharing.. :)

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

The story shook me!
Nobody can really be trusted in this world. And it's disgusting to know and see how sick people can get!

Hope Asha and her family has a peaceful life ahead!

suruchi said...

Omg...such cruel things fate can bring to good people...however, it is true that when one door closes a few windows open up too!

I just wish we didn't have to go through closed doors to get open windows!

Gowthami Nandigala said...

Huh..Media and educated people keep on saying 'Stop women atrocities' and they try to indulge about women protection laws..but still..there are(and will be) these things..

How could an educated person behave like this...such a sadistic one..

But I am very much happy for Asha, as she was out of him..It needs a lot of courage!Well Done Asha.. :)

Thanks so much for sharing...This post really depicts the Women 'Shakthi'!

Loved your blog :)

Amrita Tanmay said...

Oh! kaise-kaise log hote hain. man kadava ho gaya. kisi cheez ki had hoti hai. paani sar se upar gujar jaane hi kyon diya jaata hai..

Humaira Anwar said...

I am really glad to read that someone is upright to take stand against these brutal ignorant people. thanks for sharing.

Chandrika Shubham said...

Life is full of hardships, one who faces them with a SMILE is a winner.

☆ Rià ღ said...

Kudos to Asha and her mother in law for doing wht they did! Wonder hw such men exist.

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue said...

I appreciate her courage to walk out. Most women dream of freedom or silently curse their lives but very few have the courage to actually get up on their feet and do something about it. Stories like this are really inspiring. Thanks for sharing!

Also thank you for your comment on my blog. Am enjoying reading your posts... They are touching and inspiring and are about issues that i really care about! Following you now!

Alka Gurha said...

We need more women like Asha and more nice guys like you who try to make their contribution by sharing such stories.

Jack said...

VIDDHI :

I too had been pleasantly surprised when I learnt about her decision to stick with Asha rather than her son. Very right and just decision. I admire her. Take care


ANN :

That is what I always say, let your daughter be just as your son in education and freedom with proper guidance. Take care


PHILO :

The world is made of all kinds of persons but be sure that for every one bad there are many many good ones too. One needs to find the right one with proper care.
Take care


SURUCHI :

Yes, when one door closes there are number of windows which open but why should that situation arise? Why can we not be human and live in peace? Why such EGO? Wonder if you read my previous post too as there were no views from you. Take care

Jack said...

GOWTHAMI :

Welcome to my space. Hope to see you often. Your views on some of my older posts are welcome. Have you read previous post too? There are a lot of things which are only in slogans or paper, WOMEN EQUALITY and GARIBI HATAO are two of such. We need to raise awareness of masses for this. Take care


AMRITA :

MERE SPACE MEIN AAPKAA SWAAGAT HAI. ASHA KARTAA HOON KI AAP AATI RAHEINGEE. AAPSE ANURODH HAI KI MERI KUCHH PURAANI POSTS BHI PARHIYE. DUNIYA MEIN HAR TARAHAAN KE LOG HOOTE HAIN. YEH TO HAMEIN HEE PEHCHANANAA HAI KI KAUN KAISAA HAI. Take care


HUMAIRA :

One needs to take first step and then everything falls into space. People will sport such right decision most of the times. However one also needs to judge a person with proper application of mind. Take care


CHANDRIKA :

Very right. One needs to face each thing with composure. Take care

Jack said...

RIA :

I pray that no one ever faces such situation but if unfortunately it is, then one needs to be bold to live life on own terms. Black sheep bring bad name to whole flock, isn't it? Take care


TGAFA :

Welcome to my space. Your views are most welcome. Hope to see you regularly. My aim of writing here is to see if someone can benefit out of my experience. It is good to adjust but not become a doormat. One should stand up against any wrong doing. Take care


ALKA :

Yes, she or rather they both deserve praise for being bold to take such decision. As I said above I pray that no one faces such situation but if unfortunately it is so, one should not be a doormat. I feel it a duty to share such experiences so someone may be benefited. Take care

Komal Ali said...

What a brave woman!! I wish she had taken a step right after her first night.

I wish her the best in life. And, kudos to you for highlighting her story that otherwise wouldn't have been given importance by anyone from the mainstream media.

Arnav said...

...it is sad that a man whose existence is because of a woman , fails to realize the power and the dignity of another woman....

rm said...

wow! thats one mother inlaw!!

Jack said...

KOMAL :

As I said she put up with all this due to her mother's condition but as she passed away she made it very clear to him that she would not take this anymore. So he targeted their daughter and she did not bear that. I hope and pray no one has to face such situation ever but if unfortunately it happens one needs to be brave to take appropriate step. Take care


ARNAV :

Welcome to my space. Hope to see you often. There are so many cases of girl child killing and treating women as doormats. Why do not those who indulge in it realise that their mother too was a woman who gave them unconditional love. I will try to visit you a s a p. Take care


RM :

Welcome to my space. Hope to see you more often. I also admire her for such courageous step. I will try to visit you a s a p.
Take care

Pavitra .... said...

This certainly proves that people can be so unreliable at times...and we have to be very careful... I'm glad the she finally revealed the truth... Kudos to her! :))

Nidhi said...

Hello Jack. I know how much this must have hurt the young lady. I have one such incident in my family too. It hurts to know that such practices exist. Something serious must be done about such men who think they are superior and they can do anything they like. Hats off to the lady for showing such courage. Also, I specially like to mention my appreciation for the grandmother. This does not happen all the time. Mostly such men are supported.

Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

Love
Nidhi
http://anythingbutordinary2394.blogspot.com/

PS:sorry for not visiting earlier.

Nidhi said...

Following you now. Please follow me back. I love your thoughts on my posts.

http://anythingbutordinary2394.blogspot.com/

Jack said...

PAVITRA :

I agree we need to judge a person carefully. All fingers are not same and for one bad person there are many good ones to keep this world going. Take care


NIDHI :

Welcome to my space. I am so glad to see. Hope to see you often. If possible do read some of my old posts and give your valuable views. If you wish I can recommend some. I am sorry to know that there has been such case in your family. It is really sad. Every couple has differences but these need to be settled by open logical communication. In this case it was his big EGO which was hurt by her initial rejections. I do visit you often and have just left comment on guest post. My id is in my profile, should you feel like contacting.

Take care

suvaiba fatima ahmed said...

hey JACK.,
yestrday
today n tomorrow v dnt need 2 serch voluminious books v have xamples fr r daily lives...!!
itz an awwsum story moreover the fact which makes it awsum is dat itz reaL


hats off 2 asha n her moder in law..!
keep ryting
dasvadaniya
Suvaiba

Jack said...

SUVAIBA :

It is not that uncommon as we would like to believe. There is an urgent need to spread awareness that women need to be respected and given their due place in society. Take care

Aparana Pitale said...

Good that you shared... Hats off that to her; she suffered a lot... How can someone be so inhuman. Hope now everything goes her way, All the best to Aasha..

Jack said...

APARANA :

EGO is the biggest killers of any relationship. His bloated was hurt on her initial rejection which turned him into a beast. I too pray for her happiness alongwith her daughter. Hats off to her m i l. Take care

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

Kudos to the mother in law for being so supportive. I was shocked on reading this post. How can people men in particular be so irresponsible? Thankfully Asha was educated hence she could walk out of the marriage and support her child. There are so many who have to bear illtreatment because they cannot be independent. I bow down to them especially the mother in law.

Jigyasa said...

I am happy to read about the Brave decision and I am so glad that now, I know about people like Asha and Dadi.

Though I would say, I am not shocked....seems like men like Ajeet just get a kick from doing all these...and women themselves allow others to think of them as mere objects....yeah! the onus of taking care of the peace & happiness of a family lies on a girl but then they need to realize that if they won't love & respect themselves....no one else will.

Alas, Hats Off to Asha & Dadi :)

Jack said...

GAYATHRI :

Black sheep are in every herd. Ego is the biggest culprit in this case. I always advocate to treat girls at par with boys and afford them all facilities including educating them to be self supportive without any discrimination. Take care


JIGYASA :

Ego is devilish. I hope and pray that no one faces such situation but if it is so women need to be brave not to accept being doormat. If they are right, they need to take bold decisions. For happy married life it is responsibility of both partners. Take care

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

Wow that is so touching. It also shows how people change or how they are not what they appear to be.

But more than anything, I respect the mother in law who sided with Asha. Most would believe that she wasn't a virgin and would've made life worse than what it already was.

Jack said...

HARINI :

I too salute her m i l. Does anyone question if the boy is virgin at marriage time? So why girls? Both boys and girls have equal right to live life as they want but they should not be promiscuous. After marriage both should be loyal. Take care

Veena said...

i am awestruck by the girls courage even if it was later.. but thats the effect kids have on women... they usually take shit from people but will stand up for the kids.
thanks for sharing this one... as i can relate to this..