This happened yesterday. On her insisting I had taken our 3 ½ years old granddaughter to DDA Park in the evening around 6:30s as she did not want to play in our housing society play park which is just a little open green patch between two blocks. The
One of the slides is covered giving it look of a tunnel with a little curve in middle. Our granddaughter loves to slide down in that. That boy too seemed to enjoy the same. I was standing a few feet away at the bottom opening of the slide as I could also see the steps when she went to climb again. His mother was standing close by. She was on cell phone and I could not help but hear some of her conversation. Snatches of that showed that she was talking to someone close to her, I thought may be husband. I was suddenly jolted when I overheard her saying “ No , I can not come tomorrow to your place as I have a couple of important meeting in office which I can not give a miss but my husband is going on tour day after, so I can drive to your place from office and spend the night. Then we can be together till after breakfast on Saturday.” After hearing what the other person said, she replied “ No problems, I will leave him at home telling my in laws that I am going out for a party with Rajani ( name changed ) direct from office and as it will get late I will stay at her place. You know she will cover for me.” I had to move off as our little girl suddenly dashed towards merry go round.
Now this set me thinking how can one do such a thing. I am not prude and I believe that each to his or her own. I am not casting any aspersions on her or passing judgments as I do not know the circumstances.
I firmly believe in equality of both genders. In my opinion girls have equal right to live life the way they want to and have fun as they wish to. Both boys and girls have same curiosities and urges. However I advocate that girls need to be little more cautious as they are at receiving end in most cases. A boy driving back late at night on deserted road runs risk of being robbed but a girl has worse risk than that. Boys will get away with a lot while a girl will get blamed even if she is the victim. If a girl has discrete relation before marriage, it is her decision. Only thing is that it should be as per her conscience and due application of mind without wilting under pressure of any kind. She has to be sure that her partner too is equally discrete and not one who would blabber conquests. If she can seek guidance from someone elder whom she trusts and can speak freely with, nothing like it but she needs to keep it close to her chest otherwise, specially post marriage.
I always ask boys who say that they expect their would be wife to be chaste - Do they ever think the same while having relation with a girl who would be someone’s wife in future or would they accept rejection by a girl because of their such past relationships?
However I firmly believe that both partners be loyal after marriage unless there are some extremely rare unavoidable circumstances beyond control. I know there are couples who go for swap parties ( I personally had known of two such couples ) but in this case I feel that as she was going only in her husband’s absence it was likely in all probability that he was unaware of this liaison. Don’t you think this can lead to unhappiness later?