GHAR GHAR KI KAHAANI ( STORY OF EACH FAMILY )

I read Mummyji written by Shilpa ( shilpaagarg.blogspot.in )  a couple of days ago. She has very well brought out what Daughters in Law ( DILs ) feel about Mothers in Law ( MILs ). What she said is factual. While commenting I said that I would write from point of view of MILs to balance it out. We should hear out both sides, isn’t it? So here I go as to what MILs say about DILs :

1.     She is a working girl. We left it to her to continue or not after marriage. She chose to continue working. We never asked her salary or anything. But what I do not understand as to why is she on mobile almost all the time she is home and while talking she makes sure that none of us, including our son overhear, even late at night. I do not think it could be just official talks. We have left it to our son and her.

2.      She has a habit of telling everything to her parents, even if it is any minor thing in the house. She considers them to be the only ones who can advise her on any issue. I and my husband never speak any of our home issues with even close relations.

3.     Right from day one after marriage she has been after our son to leave the house and live separately. She raises some issue or the other at regular intervals to insist on her demand. This has been going on for more than 3 years now. We have told our son to shift out if he feels like it but he does not wish to.

4.     She picks a fight with our son on very small issues. We do not interfere except when it looks that things may turn violent. She uses very foul language even in presence of my husband.

5.     She at times after fight with husband leaves house and we do not know where she goes. Our son has at times called up her father to check if she was there but she was not. We get worried on this but if our son asks she flares up.

6.     Her son is with us all the day when she is in office but as soon as she comes back she takes him to her bedroom and shuts the door. On holidays she does not let him mix with us and if it is needed she restricts it to the minimum.

7.      Her parents interfere in our family issues a lot.

8.     She has a habit of talking to servants about all family issues.

9.     Her sense of dressing needs improvement. She puts on low waist jeans with t shirts exposing her behind unnecessarily many times. This is inspite of advice many times to wear long top.

10.                         If our son comes to our bedroom any time or speaks to me when alone, she rushes to us to see what is going on.

11.                         She tries to create misunderstandings by quoting things which I or my husband have never done or said, particularly with our son. She backs out when confronted that she never said anything.

12.                         On small issues with our son she packs her bags and moves to her parents place. Surprisingly they seem to encourage her on this.

13.                         Even after 4 years of marriage she still behaves like an outsider inspite of our best efforts to make her feel at home.

14.                         She wants to dominate everyone. It is like if she says it is day all must say Yes without any hesitations. She wants to control everything even after being told that we all have some roles to fulfill but she wants all of us to do exactly as per her wishes.

Well, these are few of the things which I have heard or even seen.   Any views from anyone?

DISGUSTING

RS, I will refer him by this name, is in late 40s or early 50s. He is quite popular in our housing society, though he lives in one close by. Almost all residents of our area greet him very respectfully. The reason being that he is very religious. He is at all religious functions in our locality. He organizes such functions regularly at common areas. He visits places of worship daily, mainly of his own religion but even of other religions on special occasions. I met him about 6 months ago at such a function where a friend had taken me along. I have been seeing him often at some place or the other. I have met his wife. They have two children, a son and a college going daughter. They are very well behaved and polite. I see his daughter almost daily while on morning walks. She greets me with a lot of respect and at times stops her jogging to have a word or so. Over a period we have developed a healthy rapport of uncle and niece. She at times seeks advice from me of some issues.

He has some business dealing in whole sale trading. His son who is around 25 years old helps him or rather he takes full responsibility leaving his father free to attend to his religious activities. RS had been asking me to be regular at all functions but I somehow feel that religion is in one’s heart and is  personal choice for which there is no need to make much of a show. Still to keep him happy I did join him at times. I surprisingly noticed later that his children almost never joined him in such functions.  

A few days ago I went with him to a function which was held in a small temple. The place was over crowded. One could hardly move. To avoid being jostled around, I climbed onto a higher side platform. There were a few persons like me on that. I had a bird’s view of crowd from there. I found RS milling around the crowd, majority of which was women. I was totally shocked when I saw him groping at young ladies while moving about. At first I thought that he was just trying to move forward but on close scrutiny I realized that it was intentional. If there was any male in his way he just elbowed him away but with ladies, particularly young ones, he touched at their bottoms or chest to move forward. I watched it for some time to be sure it was not a trick played by my eyes. I felt so disgusted to find what I observed was true.

I felt very disturbed for the next couple of days thinking of ways to make him stop this. I felt if I talk to anyone, I would not be believed. To talk to him was out of question as he would never admit such behavior, rather he would go ahead to talk ill of me to all and sundry. It was while his daughter asked me while on morning walk as to why was I so lost in some thoughts because she had to greet me twice before I responded that the dam broke. I asked her as to why did she not attend any of functions with her father. She looked at me intensely and said, “ So you have noticed it.” Then she went on to tell me that she had known his habit for the past couple of years and that is why she did not attend any function with him inspite of her mother insisting. She knew that no one would believe her if she told the reasons. Her brother did not attend as he was busy with work and on return he wanted to relax. We then hatched a plan. It was that on frequent basis she will speak of being groped by some male , mostly elderly ones, in the bus while commuting to and back from college. This was to be done when all of them are together and add to her narrating such incidents that what kind of males are these who indulge in such obnoxious behavior with girls young enough to be their daughters.   She would also say that next time she is going to slap that person irrespective of his age or status. We hope that hearing this regularly he may think of his own conduct and desist in future.

This makes me wonder why should one put up a false façade of being a God fearing religious person if he has to indulge in such nefarious activity.  

PARDON ME!

I sat down wanting to write,

But the ideas forming are not bright.

I have so much to share,

But mind does not know to start from where.

All my thoughts are in a jumble,

So all I can do is just mumble.

Asking you all to forgive my absence,

It is truth and not a pretence.

Hope to be back soon with something to your taste,

So as not to let your precious time go waste.

BEST FRIENDS, YES.

It was about 30 years ago that I fell in love again. She was so innocently beautiful. Her round eyes looked at me for love. She had a marvelous sleek body which could put many others to shame. She looked so wise for her age. She looked askance from me to enter my heart. She was all of 4 weeks old when our children brought her home from my friend’s house. His female dog had born a litter and our children who had been after us to keep one, just selected her and she entered our house or to be more precise our heart.

She was black with white paws and a white mark on forehead. Mixed parentage, Apso with Pom.  Technically she was my first dog as I do not remember much about the ones my parents had in my childhood and the  Cocker Spaniel I got from a very dear friend in 1965, had to be left with my parents as I was bachelor and on the way to settle down in my career. When I was settled and married he was well entrenched in my parent’s house that it felt cruel to uproot him.

She understood whatever I taught her and did not give even one chance to scold her. She was with us till the ripe age of almost 12 and went off when I was out of town. We felt her absence, so a Doberman female joined us. She was such a hellcat but very intelligent. She understood my sign language. Unfortunately she went off just short of 8 years due to high fever which I failed to make out, though I had taken her to doctor a day earlier. It was very early morning when she started nodding her head vigorously. I took her in my lap and we were praying when she went off.  Then we did not wish to have another as they become like family members and leave one sad on going off. But when our son got married, he and his wife expressed desire to have one. So when we went to pick up one, we brought two – a male and a female, both Cocker Spaniels. You can see them in my post of Feb 2009. Unfortunately male did not go beyond 2 years and again was victim of high fever. She is still with us.

I am sharing this with you all as it is only those who have them as pets can understand the love they give and how much they understand us, much better than humans. They are really best companions who ask for nothing much except a little love and give so much in return.