A couple of days back I got call from a well known young girl in mid 20s asking me if she could meet me. It seemed she was in need to discuss something weighing on her mind. I have a weakness of never shirking to help someone if I can. She came over home and we spent good about 5 hours talking things over. I will share it with you.
She was in relationship earlier which turned sour. She spoke to me about it at a very late stage. Main problem was that she became little too possessive and started monitoring his movements as well as calls. She used to give him missed calls on his landline or his mobile from payphone booth. He got to know and that made him break off. I told her that there are 4 basic principles which make a relationship healthy and these are :
a) Mutual Respect. Not only for each other but for relatives and friends of each other also.
b) Mutual Trust. This includes giving space and not misusing such given space.
c) Two way open and logically communication without losing temper or raising voice. Ego is the foremost cause of making any relationship sour.
d) Willingness to accept other as he or she is without forcing him or her to change but at the same time making efforts to overcome own shortcomings.
Apart from these there are some more factors which help in making relationship stronger such as physical aspect in married couple or those who feel committed, good sense of humour.
Now she is in relationship with another person for the past over a year. She had told me about this about 6 months ago. I had advised her not to repeat her mistakes but at the same time not to go overboard without applying her mind. She had been repeatedly telling me that he is very good and wants to make her happy. She told me that he has been asking her to go outstation for trips. I advised her that this indicates that he is interested in physical side and it is upto her to do what her conscience permits. She categorically denied that there was even a bit of physical contact. I do not believe that as it is just normal way of showing love for each other. She had been telling me that he is serious about her. On my asking if she has met his parents or he has met her parents, the reply was negative. I feel that if one is in relationship for this long and is serious the only way to prove is to introduce girl to his parents and meet her parents.
I seek your views on this.