EGO

My school friend Rajat got married to Radhika within a few months after our wedding. They had known each other for quite some time, almost 3 years before marriage. They seemed made for each other couple. We were shocked when we learnt that they were separated within 6 months of marriage and were heading for divorce. In those days divorces were not very common. I took a few days leave to visit him.

What we learnt on reaching there was something so trivial that it was unbelievable that it could take such serious dimensions. About a month ago on his return from office one evening, he asked Radhika to do something but as she was talking to her friend on phone she did not respond. Those were landline days with cordless also being a rare thing. He repeated it and not getting her response he in a fit of anger shouted loudly that was this what her parents had taught her. Her friend quickly said bye and cut the phone. She then shouted back that she learnt better things than what his parents had taught him. One thing led to another and soon they had a slanging match. Hot words were freely aimed at each other. In fit of rage she packed her bags and moved to her parents place. He did not even once stop her. After a couple of days he felt that he could have been more understanding but did not call her up as he blamed her for walking out and wanted her to come back or call up first. I bluntly asked him if his ego was more important to him than his love for her. He agreed that he should not fall prey to ego but was still reluctant to make first move. We could make out that he was missing her.

So next day we visited Radhika at her parents place. She was delighted to see us. After normal greetings first thing she asked was as to how was Rajat. My wife counter questioned her that did she feel he would be happy. She had tears in her eyes which were straight indication of her missing him. On my asking as to why did she not go back or at least call him up, she told me that many a times she wanted to but then she feared his rejection. On my asking that was their love so fragile, she started crying. A little later when she calmed down a bit we asked her to get her bags and come with us to return to her home. Then she told us that her father would not like it as he wanted Rajat to visit them and apologize before she returns. This is when my wife made me so proud when she said “ Do you want to be a victim to ego of your father or have a happy family life with one you married for your love?” She chose later but seemed confused as how to tell her father.

Her father on his return from office showed happiness to see us but soon started blaming Rajat for all what had happened. He was stunned on my asking that what would he like, his daughter to be back with him as divorcee or see her happily settled down in her home affording him an opportunity to play with his grandchildren. He responded that which father would wish bad for daughter. So I told him that I would call up Rajat to come and pick her up but he should not say anything except scold them both in fatherly way that they should stop being kiddish.

And the matter got resolved. Now they too are grandparents like us. We still tease them at times asking as to how far has the case progressed in court.

This is true happening but with changed names. I have narrated this to tell that EGO is the foremost cause for breakup of relationships. ANGER comes a very close second. Both are mostly interlinked. There are some more but these two share majority of breakups.