NEW YEAR HUMOUR

Life is what you make of it. So let me start my this year’s posts with humour. The jokes I am going to share are with due apologies to my lawyer friends here.

A lawyer was asked by someone in a party as to how much does he charge per question. His reply was Rs 500 for 3 questions. The person said, “ Is this not high?” The lawyer told, “ Yes, it is. What is your third question?”.

A lawyer was just getting into his car when he got hit by a speeding vehicle. He saw that door of his brand new expensive car had been ripped off. He started shouting, “ Oh! Door of my new car is gone.” One of the passersby told him,” You are worried about your car door and have not seen that your left arm is gone.” The lawyer started moaning,” Oh! My new Rolex Watch.”

In late evening two cars met with accident on a crossing. The cars were damaged but the drivers were not hurt but just shaken. They got out of the car and inspected damage. One of them asked other as to what was his occupation. On being told he was doctor, the first one said, “ Don’t you think a shot of brandy will calm the nerves?” Doctor, “ Yes.” The other person pulled out a bottle of brandy from his car and offered it to the doctor. Doctor took a swig and offered it back. But he was told to take another swig as the first one was too less. Doctor obliged. On returning the bottle he found other person putting lid back. Doctor, “ Are you not having it?” Reply was,” No. I will wait for the police to come first.” He happened to be a lawyer.

A man came to post office with a huge bundle of Valentines cards for dispatch. The postmaster was curious. He asked to see one of the cards. It was with impression of lipstick in lips shape with Guess Who written below. Postmaster said,” Oh! You have so many girlfriends.” The man,” No. I am sending it to men as I am a divorce lawyer.”