Wednesday, January 4, 2012

NEW YEAR HUMOUR

Life is what you make of it. So let me start my this year’s posts with humour. The jokes I am going to share are with due apologies to my lawyer friends here.

A lawyer was asked by someone in a party as to how much does he charge per question. His reply was Rs 500 for 3 questions. The person said, “ Is this not high?” The lawyer told, “ Yes, it is. What is your third question?”.

A lawyer was just getting into his car when he got hit by a speeding vehicle. He saw that door of his brand new expensive car had been ripped off. He started shouting, “ Oh! Door of my new car is gone.” One of the passersby told him,” You are worried about your car door and have not seen that your left arm is gone.” The lawyer started moaning,” Oh! My new Rolex Watch.”

In late evening two cars met with accident on a crossing. The cars were damaged but the drivers were not hurt but just shaken. They got out of the car and inspected damage. One of them asked other as to what was his occupation. On being told he was doctor, the first one said, “ Don’t you think a shot of brandy will calm the nerves?” Doctor, “ Yes.” The other person pulled out a bottle of brandy from his car and offered it to the doctor. Doctor took a swig and offered it back. But he was told to take another swig as the first one was too less. Doctor obliged. On returning the bottle he found other person putting lid back. Doctor, “ Are you not having it?” Reply was,” No. I will wait for the police to come first.” He happened to be a lawyer.

A man came to post office with a huge bundle of Valentines cards for dispatch. The postmaster was curious. He asked to see one of the cards. It was with impression of lipstick in lips shape with Guess Who written below. Postmaster said,” Oh! You have so many girlfriends.” The man,” No. I am sending it to men as I am a divorce lawyer.”

29 comments:

Shreya said...

Lol :) Enjoyed this post :D

Harman said...

nice..good one!!
enjoyed it!

Tanvi said...

Hahaha! A good start to the year!

♡ from © tanvii.com

Gayu said...

heheheheheh!!! Still laughing....
A nice start to my day!!!!!!

Thanks a lot....:)
Gayu

Purba said...

Brandy came in handy! LOL

Neha said...

Good to begin a new year with smiles. :)

☆ Rià ღ said...

Lol!! This was nice.

Ellen said...

You sure got me smiling through all the jokes, Jack! What a way to start the new year..... Humor!!!! Bless you!

♪♪Happy Go Lucky♪♪ said...

Happy new year to you too!

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

happy new year !

read all the posts i had missed. enjoyed ur post on the travel by metro a lot. its almost like a communicative behaviour. like one person doing good or being kind presses the others to do their bit too, no ? makes you feel like you can really make a difference ! awesome !!

how come all your jokes were lawyer jokes ?

Live2cherish said...

mast!

Sanjana said...

Hahaha... awesome post :D

Second and last jokes are way too funny :D

Thank u so much for sharing the humor :)

Jack said...

SHREYA :

I am glad you enjoyed this. Take care


HARMAN :

Thanks for appreciation. Take care


TANVI :

Hope and pray that this whole year is full of happiness for you all. Take care


GAYU :

I can hear you laughing here. Take care

Jack said...

PURBA :

Yes, whiskey is risky while rum is for GAM, so brandy is handy. Take care


NEHA :

May you keep smiling all through the year and spread that too. Take care


RIA :

I am glad you liked these.
Take care


ELLEN :

I am so happy that it made you have smiles. May it be so all through the year. Take care

Jack said...

H G L :

Thanks for your wishes. May this year bring you all that you wish for. Did you like these or not? Take care


DEEPA :

Thanks for your wishes. May this year be the way you want it to be. Thanks for taking out time to read old posts also. You are right. People are not totally bad. It just needs a little spark to ignite the good side of each one of us. When I was thinking of sharing humour though fleeted through my mind that someone had made remarks that all content on net should be censored. So I made an attempt to take a dig at his basic profession. Take care


L2C :

MAST RAHOGE TABHI LIFE KO Cherish KAROGE. Take care


SANJANA :

I am happy that you found them worth, specially two. Take care

Jack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suruchi said...

:-)
Happy New Year Uncle Jack...here's wishing you keep spreading the smiles like this and tackling issues like you do:-)

Ms. Capricious said...

I knew the first one, lol :D Its good to know that you have begun the new year with smiles :) Good luck :)

PS : No wonder I didn't become a lawyer. Otherwise I too would have been a part of the list :P

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

Nice way of starting the year :) Good post :)

Jack said...

SURUCHI :

I am speechless at such affectionate wishes. May God bless you will whatever you desire. Take care


Ms C :

Welcome to my space. Hope to see you often and have your valuable views. Please do read some of my older posts too and share your thoughts. I am glad that you liked this post. I am sure you would have been a GOOD lawyer had you chosen that profession. Take care


PHILO :

I am thankful for your appreciative comment. Take care

Jack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Me said...

hehehe.. will pass these on to a lawyer friend of mine...

Jigyasa said...

Good Start of 2012....am planning to share it with lawyers in my network....a happy new year msg! hehe..

Aliza Khan said...

Hahahahahahahaha loved the jokes =D

Being Pramoda... said...

Good that u said sorry to them.. hehehhe.. thanks for this uncle..wish u a humorous year ahead..

Jack said...

ME :

MERI PITAYEE KARWAANI HAI KYAA? LOL. I am glad you enjoyed these. Take care


JIGYASA :

AAP JAISE DOST HON TO DUSHMANO KI KYAA ZAROORAT. MERE GHAR KE AAGE DHARNAA KARWAANAA HAI KYAA? I am happy you liked these to share also. Take care


ALIZA :

I am so happy these made you laugh. Do you check your mail? Take care


PRAMODA :

It is good to take anticipatory bail, isn't it? You too have a year just the way you want it to be. Take care

Ann said...

God Post ..Had a smile on my face all the time reading it.. Thanks for sharing. Happy New Year Uncle Jack ..

Jack said...

ANN :

I am so happy that it brought smile to you. May you have more and better reasons to keep smiling whole of this year. Take care

Amrita Tanmay said...

काफी अच्छा लग रहा है इसतरह पढ़कर हंसना ...