Tuesday, October 25, 2011

HAPPY DIWALI



This is to wish you all a VERY HAPPY DIWALI. May God bless you with whatever you wish.

Here is something to make you smile :

Mohan wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Diwali Party. Mohan is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Mohan had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Mohan sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Neha"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Mohan asks, "Son... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table: Rs 650. Hot Breakfast: Rs 25. Two Aspirins: Rs 0. 50. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!


Hello, is this the Narcotic Department?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Sohan! He is hiding marijuana inside his jumbled up garage." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the Narcotic agents descend on Sohan's house. They search the garage taking everything out and cleaning it thoroughly, but find no marijuana. They put the things back. They swore at Sohan and left... The phone rings at Sohan's house:
"Hey, Sohan, Roshan here! Did the Narcotic agents come?"
"Yes!"
"Did they clean up your garage?"
"Yes."
"Happy Diwali, Dost"

28 comments:

Live2cherish said...

Priceless!
May the echo of laughter roll in your family for this year. Happy Diwali!!!

tarunima said...

happy diwali:)

Sakshi said...

lol.. Happy Diwali Uncle :)

Sonshu said...

Aaawwww :P
Hahahha LOL. I'm still laughing.

HAPPY DIWALI Uncle :) Have a great and prosperous one.

Furree Katt said...

happy diwali! :)
hahaha the jokes are TOO funny!

☆ Rià ღ said...

How sweet, happy diwali Uncle J. :)

Tanvi said...

Hahah! Both of the jokes were funny.

Happy Diwali to you and your family!

♡ from © tanvii.com

suvaiba said...

have a superbly happy diwali and be safe ..! :)

both the jokes are super funny..!
:)
tc

Thinking said...

hmm...Happy Diwali...Jack...Enjoy.

Gayu said...

Heheheheh!!!!!
:) :) :D
Happy Diwali!!!!!!
I lost my mobile:(....so couldn't call you. I shall call you as soon as I get a new SIM.

Njoy with family and friends:)
Love
Gayu...n the little one Samu:)

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Happy Diwali Uncle. Regards.

RESTLESS

Suruchi said...

haha...let's spread that laughter Uncle J in your characteristic way!

happy diwali and here's wishing you all the joys and peace:-)

Jyoti Mishra said...

ohh a lovely read !!

HAppy diwali !!!

Vijendra Lakshmana Rao said...

it did bring a big smile on my face.. First one was awesome!!

Jack said...

L2C :

Hope you had enjoyable Diwali. Take care


TARUNIMA :

Do share your Diwali experience. Take care


SAKSHI :

I am glad you had a good laugh inspite of being so stressed. Take care


SONSHU :

May you always have reasons to laugh and be happy. Take care


FURREE :

Thanks for wishes. I am glad you enjoyed these. Do you check your mail? Take care

Jack said...

RIA :

So nice of you to appreciate and give your warm wishes. Take care


TANVI :

I am so glad you liked these. How was your Diwali? Take care


SUVAIBA :

Thanks for your wishes. Yes, we play safe. I am glad you liked these. Take care


THINKING :

Thanks for your wishes, we did enjoy. Take care

Jack said...

GAYU :

I am glad you had a good laugh. Thanks for wishes. We enjoyed Diwali. Have you got your mobile activated? Please give a big hug to dear Samu from my side. Take care


RESTLESS :

Thanks. How was your Diwali? Take care


SURUCHI :

I am so overwhelmed by such appreciation and wishes. May you always remain happy. Take care


JYOTI :

I am glad you liked it. Thanks for wishes. How was your Diwali?
Take care


VIJENDRA :

Welcome to my space. Hope to see you often. I am so happy that you liked these. Take care

Amrita said...

Awesome one!! Hope you had a nice Diwali Uncle.

Harman said...

Happy Diwali to you and you Family ..
lots of happiness always!

Jack said...

AMRITA :

Thanks for appreciation. We had enjoyable Diwali. How was yours? Take care


HARMAN :

Thanks for wishes. How did you enjoy your Diwali? Did the young ones burst crckers? Take care

Jyoti Mishra said...

I had a lovely diwali... enjoyed a lot :)

♪♪Happy Go Lucky♪♪ said...

Hope you had a great Diwali too Uncle!
Thanks for the wonderful Birthday card!

Loved the first one! It was so touching! :)
Lol@ The second one!

Purba said...

Those jokes were priceless! Thank you for making me laugh :)

Jack said...

JYOTI :

May you always have such happy time. Take care


H G L :

Yes, we had joyful Diwali. I am glad you liked these. Take care


PURBA :

It is encouraging that you had a laugh at these. Take care

Ritika said...

Hahaa!! :)) Fun read! :)

Made me smile. :)

Jack said...

RITIKA :

I feel glad that these brought smile to you. Take care

Sarah said...

Am gonna share that joke with hubby and friends :)

Nice page!

Jack said...

SARAH :

Welcome to my space. I am glad that you found this worth sharing with your closest one. Hope to see you often and also request your valuable views on my other posts too. Take care