Friday, August 14, 2009

HUMOUR IN UNIFORM ( UPDATED )

After 3 serious posts I think it is time now for a little humour. So with Independence Day knocking at the door what could be better than to give HUMOUR IN UNIFORM. I have pepped up true incidents a little but facts have not been altered.

A 2 star General during his visits to an Army unit based at high altitude which was mostly snow bound used to complain to Unit commander that the biscuits they offer with tea were soggy. So the unit commander requested helicopter pilots who used to fly the General to bring fresh stock of biscuits on next visit. It was done. The General showed happiness on picking up the biscuit saying “ Oh, so crisp ” then proceeded to dip it in tea before eating it.



A drill instructor was reputed to keep his soldiers under tight control on parade ground. One day while supervising some soldiers on parade he shouted “ Mohan, don’t slouch, brace up and chest out ”. On being told that Mohan was on leave he said “ I know. That useless, lazy b****r is slouching at home also ”.


A local dignitary visited Air Force Base in his area to acquaint himself with working and life of Air Force personnel. A young Air Force Officer was detailed to escort him around. While watching Fighter aircraft taking off the visiting dignitary exclaimed “ Oh, how fast they go ”. His Air Force escort who was quite fed up with his silly comments said with a straight face “ So would you, sir if your backside was on fire ”.


A Naval ship docked for few days at a wayside port after long voyage. A sailor who happened to be from a closeby town requested for shore leave to go and see his wife. He was allowed one day leave. He returned after 3 days. He was marched to Ship Commander. On being asked about his overstayal of leave, he replied “ Sir, it took two days for my uniform to dry up ”. The Commander told him that it did not rain. Sailor replied “ I know, Sir. But when I reached home my wife was in bath ”.

After reading comment by M, I promised her that I will update this post with another one which I hope would complete the process of making her fall off the chair with laughter. This too relates to Uniform but of different kind – of Merchant Navy. So here it goes

A luxury merchant ship returned to mother port after almost a year long voyage ferrying people from different places for dream vacations. As per custom, the Captain of the ship was at the head of gangway when passenger were disembarking. He was puzzled to see a beautiful young woman at the dock waving both arms and shouting EF. On looking towards deck above he saw one of his junior officers too waving and shouting FF. After all passengers got off, it was turn of crew to go. When that young officer was near him, the Captain asked what was the matter. Youngman replies little shyly that she was his wife whom he would be meeting after all these months at sea and she was telling him that let us eat first.

21 comments:

Ellen said...

:-) I enjoyed that one 'dunking his biscuit in tea' story. hahahah It still makes me smile thinking of it. :-) :-) :-)

Miss M said...

“ I know, Sir. But when I reached home my wife was in bath ”.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Did this REALLY happen???
OH MY GOD. LOL! I almost fell off my chair laughing!

Jack said...

ELLEN :

Thanks for visit and appreciating it. I have left my views in your space today. Take care


M :

Yes, it did happen. And I heard it from horse's mouth, Ship Commander, years later. I will shortly edit this post to add one more to ensure that you do fall off the chair laughing. Take care

Vyshu said...

:-) Uncle,am still laughing...!!

Thanks for sharing these..!

Take Care

♥ ♥ Vinnie ° ♥ ♥ said...

nice ones...
mazaa ayaa :)

Pramoda Meduri said...

:)..>:)

Thanks for the nice indicants from defense jack, and it is a special gift on the eve of independence day ..

Happy independence day to u..

PS: I have posted one article on this eve..plz do read and let me know ur thoughts ..Thank you.

Keshi said...

As usual, very entertaining :)

And ty for ur encouragement in my latest post! I will take a break and come bak when Im ready again :) Just keep writing Jack.

TC
Keshi.

WarmSunshine said...

Nice ones Jack :)

Happy independence day to you and your people!

Pramoda Meduri said...

HI Jack...

As u mentioned in my blog, i'm very much ready to discuss with u more..'

i have sent u a mail, plz confirm...

Jack said...

VYSHU :

Your having a good laugh has made my day. Take care


VINNIE :

You made me happy by saying " mazaa aaya ". Did you read the one I added later? Take care


PRAMODA :

Idea was to make you all see the humourous side of Forces too. Visited you and left my views. Take care


KESHI :

Nice to see you here. Please do come back soon totally refreshed. Take care


MEHREEN :

Thanks for your appreciations and wishes. How I wish you could give your views on some of my older posts I have been asking you to visit! Take care

Tongue-fu Lady said...

OMG!! They were hilarious.. Didnt realise that the guys in uniform could be so hilarious...otherwise, u r a good story teller!either ways, a good entertainment :D

Jack said...

T - f L ,

The guys in uniform are also humans after all with normal emotions, so what if they learn to keep them under control. These are true incidents just worded by me.

Take care

preeti said...

enjoyed first and last one best :):)cheers Jack :):)made me feel light after not-so-okay-day at office :)

Jack said...

Preeti,

I feel happy that I could make you smile after hectic day in office. What happened? Please do not take office politics to heart.

Take care

Pavi!!!! said...

lol ! PERFECT read at the end of a tiring day!.. mabbe i'll come back for teh seriosus tuff tomo?

n u made up these jokes urself????!!wooooooooow!

Jack said...

PAVI :

So nice to see you here. These are actual incidents and I have just worded them to put across.

Take care

Miss M said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

"let us eat first"?!?!!?!

Hahahah how ROMANTIC! :P

Shruti Mukundan said...

haa haa.. am laughing my heart out!!

interesting collection :)

workhard said...

Hey your writing is pretty good...


Make website india

Vandita said...

ROFL
the biscuit thing was super :)

chatur said...

I was always desperate to know the Acronym FF. Indeed the blog is hilarious and humorous. We typically enjoy humors on politicians, sardarji's etc etc...., but these were too good. Thanks !