HUMOUR IN UNIFORM ( UPDATED )

After 3 serious posts I think it is time now for a little humour. So with Independence Day knocking at the door what could be better than to give HUMOUR IN UNIFORM. I have pepped up true incidents a little but facts have not been altered.

A 2 star General during his visits to an Army unit based at high altitude which was mostly snow bound used to complain to Unit commander that the biscuits they offer with tea were soggy. So the unit commander requested helicopter pilots who used to fly the General to bring fresh stock of biscuits on next visit. It was done. The General showed happiness on picking up the biscuit saying “ Oh, so crisp ” then proceeded to dip it in tea before eating it.



A drill instructor was reputed to keep his soldiers under tight control on parade ground. One day while supervising some soldiers on parade he shouted “ Mohan, don’t slouch, brace up and chest out ”. On being told that Mohan was on leave he said “ I know. That useless, lazy b****r is slouching at home also ”.


A local dignitary visited Air Force Base in his area to acquaint himself with working and life of Air Force personnel. A young Air Force Officer was detailed to escort him around. While watching Fighter aircraft taking off the visiting dignitary exclaimed “ Oh, how fast they go ”. His Air Force escort who was quite fed up with his silly comments said with a straight face “ So would you, sir if your backside was on fire ”.


A Naval ship docked for few days at a wayside port after long voyage. A sailor who happened to be from a closeby town requested for shore leave to go and see his wife. He was allowed one day leave. He returned after 3 days. He was marched to Ship Commander. On being asked about his overstayal of leave, he replied “ Sir, it took two days for my uniform to dry up ”. The Commander told him that it did not rain. Sailor replied “ I know, Sir. But when I reached home my wife was in bath ”.

After reading comment by M, I promised her that I will update this post with another one which I hope would complete the process of making her fall off the chair with laughter. This too relates to Uniform but of different kind – of Merchant Navy. So here it goes

A luxury merchant ship returned to mother port after almost a year long voyage ferrying people from different places for dream vacations. As per custom, the Captain of the ship was at the head of gangway when passenger were disembarking. He was puzzled to see a beautiful young woman at the dock waving both arms and shouting EF. On looking towards deck above he saw one of his junior officers too waving and shouting FF. After all passengers got off, it was turn of crew to go. When that young officer was near him, the Captain asked what was the matter. Youngman replies little shyly that she was his wife whom he would be meeting after all these months at sea and she was telling him that let us eat first.