Summer Laugh

Today is the last day of May 2009. It is hot and with rain in the early morning it is humid too. So instead of putting something serious I thought it prudent to give something light for taking mind of hot & humid weather with little laugh. The one which was intended will follow in a day or so.

We live in a small lane off the main busy road with just about 8 small cottages – four on each side with a dead end. It is nice and peaceful. There are offices, commercial establishments on the other side of the main road. There lived a huge mixed breed dog in the lane and he was liked by one & all. He used to ensure no unwanted person had easy access to this lane. He used to escort children to and back from school bus stop. No vendor could raise his hawking voice more than certain decibel and pitch so as not to disturb peace, specially in the afternoons. All of us loved him and gave him something or the other to eat but he was choosy. One day while chasing away an adamant intruder he got run over by bus on the main road. We all felt sad and got together to give him a decent send off in the municipal crematorium for pets. Though we all felt sad one boy who was working for a push cart vendor on the corner of our lane was crying inconsolably. They served food for workers in the office opposite. We tried to pacify him that it was God’s will etc. Over his sobs we heard him say “ Now who will help me clean the dishes”.

In our locality community park we used to see a man walking briskly mornings and evenings. He looked about 40ish. We were astonished to learn that he was about 70. We all wondered how was it possible. So one day someone dared ask him secret of this. He said when he got married he and his wife made a pact that whenever one of them felt that the other was being too overbearing he or she would go for a walk instead of being angry and getting into arguments. So when asked did it work. His reply was don’t you people see my fitness, I started walking most of the day from the first day after wedding and am yet to spend time at home except for meals or rest.

A doctor was advising his patient in 50s ‘ to live for another 30 years give up drinking, flirting, surfing net and sleeping late in the mornings’. His patient replied ‘then what is the idea of living.’

A man touching 80 got married to a girl in early 20s. His friend who was doctor too advised him ‘ take a similar age boarder for keeping company to your wife.’ The old man agreed. They met after about 6 months. Doctor asked ‘ how is everything going.’ Old man replied ‘ couldn’t be better. My wife is 4 months pregnant.’ Doctor was happy and asked ‘ so you took my advice about taking a boarder.’ Old man said ‘ yes and she is pregnant too’.

Well, friends that is to keep you in good mood to welcome JUNE,2009.

Educated Illiterates

This incident happened more than a year ago and I had put a post in my o3 space. I still find similar happeinings. So I updated it and am putting it up for your views.
I was on my way to a meeting when I realised that I forgot the gift in my office which was meant for the person I was to meet. It was his birthday. As I was barely making it in time, I decided to buy one from market on the way. I could not find parking space in front of shop I wanted to visit, so I parked in proper place a few shops away and dashed to other side of the road to do the needful. On way back I saw that someone had parked car right behind mine. It took me sometime to cross the busy road and on reaching my car I found a smartly dressed lady occupying front passanger seat. I requested her to move the car as I was in hurry. She looked at me as if I had made some indecent proposal. She just uttered her husband had parked the car only for TWO MINUTES as he had gone to ATM for cash. I looked at the ATM and saw that 3 persons were waiting in the queue. I again requested her if she could move the car as I was in hurry. Her reply was “ Can't you have patience and wait.”. I had no option but to wait. After nearly ten minutes a well dressed youngman returned and got into the car without even bothering to acknowledge that I was waiting for him to move the car. I had seen him watching me and he was last in the queue. Of course, I was late for the meeting and had to face ire of that elderly person who was a stickler for punctuality. This reminded me how often have I seen in our residential complex cars parked haphazardly and at times blocking someone from taking his or her car out.
This set me thinking how often do we face such uncalled for and impolite situations. I remembered few of them which I will share with you all.
You are in peak hour fast moving heavy traffic trying to make it in time to your destination and person in front of you is driving very slow. You have no option but to follow as traffic does not let you overtake. On seeing carefully you find that person is talking on mobile. This continues for a couple of kilometers without that person moving out of traffic to park and talk or to curtail talkng. I always maintain that mobiles are for communication and not conversation.
You are in heavy traffic moving at within limits high speed, keeping pace while sticking to correct lane. Person behind you starts honking and flickering lights for you to give way. There is no way for you to do so as the traffic is congested but that person persists on doing it. And it is not an Ambulance nor has turn indicators flickering showing emergency. All you can see in your rear view mirror is that the person driving the car behind you is young.
You are at traffic lights and waiting to turn right. You stay in correct lane, say second from right as the markers indicate so. When lights turn green and you find that a person in fourth lane from right executes a U turn upsetting movement of all those who were waiting to turn right in corrcet manner.
You commence taking permitted U turn at a crossing when traffic light turns green. You get blocked by vehicle which comes from the road on right and takes left turn being fully aware that he can do so later once those taking U turn on green signal have cleared off.
The lesser said about blaring music from car music system better it is as it would take many pages to tell all.
I have a very simple thumb rule for polite driving – You are not right if someone has to apply brakes due to your driving.
You are standing at a shop counter waiting for you turn and suddenly a nicely dressed person jostles you around without even saying “ excuse me “ to reach counterstaff.
You are walking your dog on leash and suddenly another pet dog charges at you as it in not on leash. You take all steps to avoid dogfight or being bitten. On looking you find that owner, a well to do person little distance away calling out to dog without making effort to rush. And on reaching close just moves on with dog following without even offering regrets.
This list is endless. I am sure that you all must have face such situations. I have used word person as it indicates both genders.
What does it show? We are becoming EDUCATED ILLITERATES. There is no respects for values. Who is to blame? We all, as we accept all this nonsense. Does our education system include lessons on values or how to live in a cultured society? Do we teach our children about values? I shudder to think what we are heading for. May God bless us all.
I am now looking forward to your comments.

For A Few Laughs

I have been writing on topics which are on the serious side. So this time I thought let me write something light to make you have little laugh. Here is a collection of some jokes which I am sure would bring a smile to your face if not make you laugh outright.

In a small town there was a fair. In one of the events participants displayed their strength. One strong looking man took a lemon, cut it into two and squeezed almost 1/4th glass full of juice. Then he challenged the audience that if anyone could get another drop out of it he would be his pupil for the rest of his life. One puny looking man walked upto the stage and took up the challenge. All present laughed at his audacity. He took lemon peels one by one and lo behold squeezed almost same amount of juice again. Everyone was surprised. The strong man was shocked. He asked puny one what is his profession. The reply was “ I am an Income Tax Officer “.

After hectic work in office two women, one redhead and other blonde, were relaxing over steaming cups of coffee. TV was showing news in which a man was standing on ledge of fourth floor and was ready to jump down. The redhead told blonde that she would bet that the man would jump. The bet was settled for 25 dollars. The man jumped after few minutes. The blonde took out wallet to give money. The redhead told her to forget it as she would feel guilty taking the money because she had seen the same news at 2 pm telecast. The blonde replied “ It is ok. I also saw it but thought he would not jump this time “.

A man was hauled up in the court for banging his car at a crossing while overtaking from left side the car ahead driven by a woman which turned left. His defence was that woman had extended her hand fully outside towards right thus indicating she was turning right so he started overtaking her from left and she suddenly turned left. On this she said “ Oh, that. I was just drying nail polish on my right hand “.

A young couple took a month long sea voyage for belated honeymoon. A day prior to their return to mother port the husband told his wife that purser ( who generally is second important officer on ship ) is a big brag. On being asked he told that purser was boasting in the bar that during this voyage he has slept with every female on voyage except one. The wife said “ Oh, that must be the old biddy in cabin 7 “.

Well, that is it. Why not you too take it up as tag and share some good jokes?

Follow up on LOVE ??????

I had put my post LOVE?????? in o3.indiatimes.com too. A young lady had commented which alongwith my reply I am placing it here for your views.


HER COMMENT

Hi Uncle, Just read your BLOG.. I want to share once more incidence, which I read in some article. There is a girl involved with a boy since last 5 years. Initially, it was a plain friendship, but gradually they got into a relationship.. She loved him very deeply, but the boy had initially cleared her that he won't be able to convince anyone in his family for their marriage. She knew it, but still went into a physical relationship with that boy. The boy told her that he loved her too but due to some reasons he could not convince his parents. Later on, boy's family searched a match for him. At that point of time also, she tried to save the relationship so that it can get converted into marriage.. She cried, yelled & did every thing to save the relationship, But sadly, the boy got married.. She was outbroken with this, knowingly unknowingly she knew that it is not only the fault of boy.. but still she couldn't recover from it. & see the other side of the story, the boy still says that she will be having the same place in his life, what she had before his marriage.. He has also told her that they will not get into any physical relationship, because he respects her body and soul.. & he has kept his promise as of now.. The girl is still in love with that boy, & is very much heartbroken.. the boy doesn't let her go away from him, as he feels that she will die thinking the same thing again & again.. atleast he would be there to support her & to come out of this situation.. What is your opinion about this whole situation??


MY REPLY

Before saying anything on this I will make a general statement. Two persons get attracted to each other, become friends over a time they gradually fall in love. Over a period there is certain amount of physicality due to feeling of closeness and sharing of innermost thoughts. It starts with holding hands to hugging, peck on the cheek and it goes on further gradually with it being an individual choice to go all the way or not by consent based on intense feelings of love and mutual confidence. It is just normal. Physical needs are common between boys and girls. It can not be termed as right or wrong. Only hitch being that mostly it is the girl who is left broken hearted in the event of break up as she has given everything in the relationship. Now coming to what you said. The boy had told the girl right from beginning that there is no future as he would not be able to make his parents agree to their marriage. But as they were in deep love and she thought time may change situation so she willingly consented for whatever way the relationship progressed. Boy instead of exercising restraint gave in to his physical urges and went ahead with physicality while the girl loving him whole heartedly and living with hope that his parents may change their stance consented to go ahead with deeper relationship .

Now that he is married it is not ethical on his part to show love to the girl stating that there will be no physical relations but who can assure that they may not resume such relaitons in future. By doing this he is spoiling her future life for his selfishness. It could also be a case of boy ensuring fulfilment of his needs on rainy days. Girl on her part should realise that there is nothing tangible in such relationship unless she is hoping to break up the marriage. She should keep fond memories and move on. All contacts have to be severed immediately. She may go for counseling from someone she trusts. Before saying anything on this I will make a general statement. Two persons get attracted to each other, become friends over a time they gradually fall in love. Over a period there is certain amount of physicality due to feeling of closeness and sharing of innermost thoughts. It starts with holding hands to hugging, peck on the cheek and it goes on further gradually with it being an individual choice to go all the way or not by consent based on intense feelings of love and mutual confidence. It is just normal. Physical needs are common between boys and girls. It can not be termed as right or wrong. Only hitch being that mostly it is the girl who is left broken hearted in the event of break up as she has given everything in the relationship. Now coming to what you said. The boy had told the girl right from beginning that there is no future as he would not be able to make his parents agree to their marriage. But as they were in deep love and she thought time may change situation so she willingly consented for whatever way the relationship progressed. Boy instead of exercising restraint gave in to his physical urges and went ahead with physicality while the girl loving him whole heartedly and living with hope that his parents may change their stance consented to go ahead with deeper relationship . Now that he is married it is not ethical on his part to show love to the girl stating that there will be no physical relations but who can assure that they may not resume such relaitons in future. By doing this he is spoiling her future life for his selfishness. It could also be a case of boy ensuring fulfilment of his needs on rainy days. Girl on her part should realise that there is nothing tangible in such relationship unless she is hoping to break up the marriage. She should keep fond memories and move on. All contacts have to be severed immediately. She may go for counseling from someone she trusts.

HER REPLY

Very true... i wonder why in this era, people have such reservations regarding inter-caste marriages.. These days girls are becoming more courageous in choosing their life partners and boys have taken a back seat... they can easily get into a relationship, but think different when it comes to marriage. Then their first priority is their family...