Whenever a couple
has disagreements and separate, temporarily or permanently, all of us think of
their children. We all speak about children of broken homes. Has anyone ever
given a thought about grandparents of such children? I know in many cases it is
parents of either husband or wife who may be responsible for such split but
there are surely some instances where it is just the EGO of the couple which
plays spoilsport while parents are keen that they resolve whatever issue be by
logical two way communication. Has anyone ever thought what they must be going
through at fag end of their life? How much they must be missing grandchildren?
I know many of you may suggest that they may indulge in some activity to occupy
their mind. Some may suggest prayers and keeping busy in some religious
activity or the other. But should one not have faith in God all the times? Some
may feel that they could do some social service which one should do in any case
and not just in such circumstances. There are some who may suggest that they
may take up reading / writing, be TV addict or even socialize. Travel is yet
another option, to religious places or otherwise. But has anyone ever thought
that at the end of it all they have to get back to empty home some time or the
other and miss the naughty pranks of grandchildren? Isn’t it tough life at
final years of age? Many of them may be requesting God to recall them to end
their misery. Hope and pray that no one faces such situation.
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23 comments:
Its been a long time I visited the blogosphere. Was tied with so many things.
How are you feeling now???
And this post is perfect for today. Just came to know today of a friend, whose MIL got admitted in hospital.
This friend of mine recently shifted to Pune and they have two children, whom she used to keep with her MIL.
Her FIL is still working so the only way the MIL was occupied was these two children.
I have so much to write about this.
Will write a post maybe.
Take care
Gayu
Children should never be taken away from their grandparents and vise versa. I have only my grandfather left whom i love dearly and would not know what to do if anyone forbid to go see and visit him at my village. :)
i just wish n pray that no Grand parents ever got to see such days when they just can't have those blissful moments with grand children....i always enjoy my kids playing and doing those naughty stuff with my mother, its so satisfying...really...!!
Agree with you completely... it should never ever happen to anybody...
Thought provoking point. Just as parents are forced to take their own sides to win their battles against each other, they drag grandparents into being their soldiers too. As a result, grandparents are forced to take sides during divorce proceedings and often this is enough to scar a child's mind.
Today's children, esp those who are confined to nuclear families, can barely understand the importance of having grandparents in the first place. That is indeed the tragedy of life.
I agree n I was gonna give you the same options you mentioned in blog .BUT
there are many .. who don't want kids or those who stay single by choice..
..so then... try visiting some orphanage and giving love to those ..kids ...
options or happiness we should look for ..
No matter what, attachment always remains. And dealing with a broken home and broken hearts is not at all easy.
You have raised a very important point- grand parents of chidlren whose parents have split. Often these poor souls are caught in between the love for their grand kids and the tension between their children. It is a sad situation to be in during one's old age.
Very interesting thought Uncle, I hope too, that no one faces any tough situation.
read about 8 of your posts ... still have a lot more to finish.
I hope you are gradually getting out of your rough patch. God willing, things will all be good with you.
I have a view point : The reason why a lot of women would want to move out of their in-laws place and live independently is probably because they resent the fact that they have to stay separated from their parents, have to change so much about themselves, whereas, the husband has nothing to lose. He has his parents, and his wife, and the same life he had before marriage.
This is such a valid point that you have brought up, here.
I think people are just too self-contained that they have stopped thinking about a family as a whole.
I hope things that have been bothering you are resolved now.
Missed your blog.
GAYU :
Thanks for you concern. Do write about that girl. Take care
MAHNOOR :
Bond between grandparents and grandchildren can only be understood by them. Take care
IRFANUDDIN :
Thanks for your supportive view. Take care
SHILPA :
I am so happy to have your support on this issue. Take care
SWAPNA :
Welcome to my space, though I feel sad that it is at such a unfortunate situation post. These days grandparents seem to have become outdated commodity. Take care
HARMAN :
I would love to do what you suggest but on long term basis. Take care
PHILO :
Hope such attachments flourish and are not curtailed. Take care
MEERA :
Thanks for you supportive views. Take care
SAKSHI :
I too very sincerely hope that no one faces such a situation ever in life. Take care
DEEPA :
Thanks for spending so much time in my space. I would love to have your views on my older posts also, if not here then by mail. Would you believe me that I was at your space but after seeing two pending posts on very relevant subject, I decided to read those in peace, may be tomorrow. You have a valid point but what about when in laws give lot of love & support to make the girl comfortable? Take care
ME :
Thanks a lot for support and your kind wishes. I hope it is resolved soon. Take care
सही कहा है..भगवान् किसी को ये दिन न दिखाए..
Let nothing affect the grand relationship of grandparents and grandkids...they should be free to remain in touch!!
And Uncle I read few posts of yours and realised you weren't keeping well....I hope you are better now and back to sharing thoughts! Take care.
AMRITA :
AAPKE YEH KAHNAA UTSAAHPOORVAK HAI. Take care
JIGYASA :
Thanks for such supportive view. I am feeling much better now. Take care
Jack, I want to give you a hug. You have made an important point so simply and yet so powerfully. We often forget about seniors. We are so self-consumed with our own space and freedom and what not...we forget the pain seniors may go through. It is extremely hard. Zephyr often tells me about seniors left to pass alone and it hurts to know that. My friend who worked with seniors in New Mexico used to be depressed about the state of senior care and love in United States. And India is no better. I am sending you a photo I took in my travels and a fb post I wrote on it on your gmail account. Much love to you, Jack!
BHAVANA :
I am so grateful for such a supportive view. It is love from friends, same age or youngsters, which keeps us, seniors, going. My best wishes will always be for and with you.
Take care
First time here. Such a thoughtful post. Yes, no one thinks about grandparents of split homes. Hope not many grand parents face it...will check your other posts too slowly.
F i F :
Welcome to my space. Sorry for being late in checking and replying. I too sincerely hope that NO GRANDPARENTS ever face this situation. I will visit you soon.
Take care
This is what happens when two individuals don't think about anyone but themselves. There are many facets to this situation
a. The couple was driven to separate by the parents.
b. The couple had irreconcilable differences, and stay together for the sake of children or parents was becoming hellish and driving sanity out of the window.
c. The couple failed to logically resolve an issue which didn't need to be blown out of proportion. They didn't heed the well meaning advise of parents. As a result of that everyone suffers.
Though it inflicts a large deal of hearbreak on grandparents, they have to come to terms with the fact, that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't have done anything to avoid the split. They have to find happiness in other things..because without happiness, life becomes very morbid.
TRANQUILITY :
Thanks for such indepth view. There are many circumstances which lead to break ups but if one is keen to save relationship it is not impossible, difficult yes. One needs to let go of EGO and discuss logically to seek solutions. Take care
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