Tuesday, August 7, 2012

GRANDPARENTS OF BROKEN HOMES


Whenever a couple has disagreements and separate, temporarily or permanently, all of us think of their children. We all speak about children of broken homes. Has anyone ever given a thought about grandparents of such children? I know in many cases it is parents of either husband or wife who may be responsible for such split but there are surely some instances where it is just the EGO of the couple which plays spoilsport while parents are keen that they resolve whatever issue be by logical two way communication. Has anyone ever thought what they must be going through at fag end of their life? How much they must be missing grandchildren? I know many of you may suggest that they may indulge in some activity to occupy their mind. Some may suggest prayers and keeping busy in some religious activity or the other. But should one not have faith in God all the times? Some may feel that they could do some social service which one should do in any case and not just in such circumstances. There are some who may suggest that they may take up reading / writing, be TV addict or even socialize. Travel is yet another option, to religious places or otherwise. But has anyone ever thought that at the end of it all they have to get back to empty home some time or the other and miss the naughty pranks of grandchildren? Isn’t it tough life at final years of age? Many of them may be requesting God to recall them to end their misery. Hope and pray that no one faces such situation. 

23 comments:

Gayu said...

Its been a long time I visited the blogosphere. Was tied with so many things.
How are you feeling now???
And this post is perfect for today. Just came to know today of a friend, whose MIL got admitted in hospital.
This friend of mine recently shifted to Pune and they have two children, whom she used to keep with her MIL.
Her FIL is still working so the only way the MIL was occupied was these two children.

I have so much to write about this.
Will write a post maybe.
Take care
Gayu

S. Mahnoor Shah said...

Children should never be taken away from their grandparents and vise versa. I have only my grandfather left whom i love dearly and would not know what to do if anyone forbid to go see and visit him at my village. :)

Irfanuddin said...

i just wish n pray that no Grand parents ever got to see such days when they just can't have those blissful moments with grand children....i always enjoy my kids playing and doing those naughty stuff with my mother, its so satisfying...really...!!

Shilpa Garg said...

Agree with you completely... it should never ever happen to anybody...

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

Thought provoking point. Just as parents are forced to take their own sides to win their battles against each other, they drag grandparents into being their soldiers too. As a result, grandparents are forced to take sides during divorce proceedings and often this is enough to scar a child's mind.

Today's children, esp those who are confined to nuclear families, can barely understand the importance of having grandparents in the first place. That is indeed the tragedy of life.

Harman said...

I agree n I was gonna give you the same options you mentioned in blog .BUT
there are many .. who don't want kids or those who stay single by choice..
..so then... try visiting some orphanage and giving love to those ..kids ...
options or happiness we should look for ..

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

No matter what, attachment always remains. And dealing with a broken home and broken hearts is not at all easy.

Meera Sundararajan said...

You have raised a very important point- grand parents of chidlren whose parents have split. Often these poor souls are caught in between the love for their grand kids and the tension between their children. It is a sad situation to be in during one's old age.

Sakshi said...

Very interesting thought Uncle, I hope too, that no one faces any tough situation.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

read about 8 of your posts ... still have a lot more to finish.

I hope you are gradually getting out of your rough patch. God willing, things will all be good with you.

I have a view point : The reason why a lot of women would want to move out of their in-laws place and live independently is probably because they resent the fact that they have to stay separated from their parents, have to change so much about themselves, whereas, the husband has nothing to lose. He has his parents, and his wife, and the same life he had before marriage.

Me said...

This is such a valid point that you have brought up, here.

I think people are just too self-contained that they have stopped thinking about a family as a whole.

I hope things that have been bothering you are resolved now.

Missed your blog.

Jack said...

GAYU :

Thanks for you concern. Do write about that girl. Take care

MAHNOOR :

Bond between grandparents and grandchildren can only be understood by them. Take care


IRFANUDDIN :

Thanks for your supportive view. Take care


SHILPA :

I am so happy to have your support on this issue. Take care


Jack said...

SWAPNA :

Welcome to my space, though I feel sad that it is at such a unfortunate situation post. These days grandparents seem to have become outdated commodity. Take care


HARMAN :

I would love to do what you suggest but on long term basis. Take care


PHILO :

Hope such attachments flourish and are not curtailed. Take care


MEERA :

Thanks for you supportive views. Take care

Jack said...

SAKSHI :

I too very sincerely hope that no one faces such a situation ever in life. Take care


DEEPA :

Thanks for spending so much time in my space. I would love to have your views on my older posts also, if not here then by mail. Would you believe me that I was at your space but after seeing two pending posts on very relevant subject, I decided to read those in peace, may be tomorrow. You have a valid point but what about when in laws give lot of love & support to make the girl comfortable? Take care


ME :

Thanks a lot for support and your kind wishes. I hope it is resolved soon. Take care

Amrita Tanmay said...

सही कहा है..भगवान् किसी को ये दिन न दिखाए..

Jigyasa said...

Let nothing affect the grand relationship of grandparents and grandkids...they should be free to remain in touch!!

And Uncle I read few posts of yours and realised you weren't keeping well....I hope you are better now and back to sharing thoughts! Take care.

Jack said...

AMRITA :

AAPKE YEH KAHNAA UTSAAHPOORVAK HAI. Take care


JIGYASA :

Thanks for such supportive view. I am feeling much better now. Take care

Bhavana said...

Jack, I want to give you a hug. You have made an important point so simply and yet so powerfully. We often forget about seniors. We are so self-consumed with our own space and freedom and what not...we forget the pain seniors may go through. It is extremely hard. Zephyr often tells me about seniors left to pass alone and it hurts to know that. My friend who worked with seniors in New Mexico used to be depressed about the state of senior care and love in United States. And India is no better. I am sending you a photo I took in my travels and a fb post I wrote on it on your gmail account. Much love to you, Jack!

Jack said...

BHAVANA :

I am so grateful for such a supportive view. It is love from friends, same age or youngsters, which keeps us, seniors, going. My best wishes will always be for and with you.

Take care

Found In Folsom said...

First time here. Such a thoughtful post. Yes, no one thinks about grandparents of split homes. Hope not many grand parents face it...will check your other posts too slowly.

Jack said...

F i F :

Welcome to my space. Sorry for being late in checking and replying. I too sincerely hope that NO GRANDPARENTS ever face this situation. I will visit you soon.

Take care

Tranquility Speaks said...

This is what happens when two individuals don't think about anyone but themselves. There are many facets to this situation

a. The couple was driven to separate by the parents.
b. The couple had irreconcilable differences, and stay together for the sake of children or parents was becoming hellish and driving sanity out of the window.
c. The couple failed to logically resolve an issue which didn't need to be blown out of proportion. They didn't heed the well meaning advise of parents. As a result of that everyone suffers.

Though it inflicts a large deal of hearbreak on grandparents, they have to come to terms with the fact, that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't have done anything to avoid the split. They have to find happiness in other things..because without happiness, life becomes very morbid.

Jack said...

TRANQUILITY :

Thanks for such indepth view. There are many circumstances which lead to break ups but if one is keen to save relationship it is not impossible, difficult yes. One needs to let go of EGO and discuss logically to seek solutions. Take care