Thursday, November 18, 2010


In my previous post, UPS AND DOWNS OF LIFE, I had hoped that two issues which were not spelt out but were the cause of lonely living of Kaka & Kaki would be noticed. But unfortunately only Restless partially caught on one. The issues are :

How for pursuit of our own ambitions we compromise on sacred relations, as evident by their younger son being virtually cut off from them.

How most of the girls, no matter how well educated, have mistrust for in- laws even when there is no show of bad intents by them, as evident in their daughter in law moving to her mother’s place.

Now coming to this post. Ellen ( ellen-inretrospect ) had written in her post - THE 10 MUST HAVES INSIDE MY TOTE BAG – that we can list out same for many other aspects, like home, kitchen, travel and relationship etc. I while commenting had said that I am looking forward to her next post concerning relationship and I am also motivated to write one such post. So here I go on


1. Be Honest To Yourself :

This in my opinion is the topmost. We can paint our wrongs as rights to others by advancing reasons in a manner making them believe those. But in heart of hearts we know we are wrong. So if we are honest to ourselves, we will be guided by our conscience to avoid doing anything wrong which would make us feel scared what if it is found out affecting our peace of mind.

2. Be Content With What You Have :

This does not mean that have no dreams or ambitions. Make all efforts to achieve what you desire for but be content with what you get. Continue striving without getting saddened if the results are less than expected.

3. Have No Jealousy :

X has a huge mansion inspite of being a dud while I live in a flat inspite of being so intelligent or Y has so many men as friends while I am more beautiful and intelligent but have hardly any, so you start feeling jealous of those persons. So analyse it , may be your financial management needs improvement or you are too snooty and make changes accordingly. Do think it over, does being jealous change anything? So let it be. Each to his or her own. Make efforts to achieve what they have.

4. Be Truthful :

Be truthful in your dealings, promises, relationships and profession. If you lie, it does make you feel insecure that it may be found out. I know it is easier said than done but in tricky situations one may find way out with diplomacy than telling a lie.

5. Have No Ego :

Be proud but not vain. If we feel we are superior to others, it will make us long for attention and if we do not get it or someone else gets it instead of us, this will lead to heartburn thus no peace of mind.

6. Have Open Mind :

Be prepared to listen to other person’s logic or reasons instead of being adamant the it is only “I” who is right. Accept your weaknesses or failures or mistakes.

7. Do Not Keep Grudges :

If someone has hurt or harmed us, talk it out but forget after that. Do be careful of that person in future but if we keep the hurt or harm fresh in our memory, it will lead to our mind being disturbed and longing for revenge all the time.

8. Communicate Honestly :

When you hide some facts while communicating to others, be it at work place or family affairs or friends or personal details, it will always lurk in your mind what if the hidden issues or details are found out.

9. Be Faithful :

Be faithful to your ownself, family, country, orgainsation, friends and last but not the least spouse. Do I need to elaborate on this?

10. Have Faith :

Have faith in yourself, family and fellow beings. Do be careful against betrayals but do not mistrust everyone as a rule. And have faith in God you believe in. Remember if good times have passed so will the bad times too.

I am sure there will be a lot of more for additions or changes in your mind, I welcome you all to share it with us here.


Ann said...

Hi Uncle Jack!

This has been a very inspiring post. I like the point no. 1 most and try to be honest with myself. As far as the ego and faith thing are concerned, it really takes time to develop that. When some close people break our trust, it really becomes difficult to trust others after that.

But overall, it's our perception towards life.

Thanks and take care,

ash89 said...

I'd like to add to the second point. Apart from being content with what you have, its very important to be grateful. We have so many things to be thankful for. Expressing gratitude is important.

Kanupriya said...

Heyyy, what a collection of 10 must haves for peace of mind, well even if practice 5 out of these 10 I think we can overcome so much of negativity all around. Loved your post :)
Hope u r doing fine...

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Hello Jack,

Glad to see my mention there :) Feel like a winner :)

You have said things, which are much needed to any person of this time. With so much unrest, these words surely set the ground for peace. Thanks for that.

Would like to say, u brought out two things, and nice to see that u wrote them separately. being honest in communiation ( ie not hiding facts) and being truthful are two different things. Often ppl say they don't lie, but that means they can hide the truth. Which again is dishonesty.

so hats off to you!

Also, would like to add a point.

"Don't measure yourself with other's yardstick."

It's a sure shot way to achieve peace of mind.

Thanks and regards.


Deepika Vasudeva said...

hey sir!...
this is such a thoughtful piece of work... worthy of printing out and keep in wallet for time to time views.

though i kinda disagree with the point 7- isn't it hard not to hold any grudges when someone hurt u so much to leave a pain for life? thats my POV... no offence to u... :)

great post and very very intriguing...

thanku for ur visits... now i m following ur blog and will be here every time u update :D

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

Thats a very nice post uncle!

My mantra for peace of mind is telling myself that everything happens for the best. That way, we don't lose our faith as we don't know whats in store for us the next moment :)

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

and I also agree with ash. We need a lot of gratitude for what we have got. :)

Jack said...


If we could follow these and some more which will be added by all of you life would really be so heavenly. Take care


So true. Thanks a lot. We may add this as No 11. Show of our gratitude makes others remember us and makes them willing to do more. Take care


I am glad to see you here. I agree if we follow even some of these it will lead to overcoming negativity. Take care


Thanks a lot for such supportive and touching comments. I agree we should not depend upon what or how others measure us. Take care


Welcome to my space. I agree some of them are not easy to follow but try we must. Looking for your views on my older posts too. Take care


That is an important positive attitude which ensures that we do not get negative. I have alread told Ash that her point is very valid and we may add it at 11. Take care

Sabi Sunshine said...

Hello Dear,

Thank You for reading my blog.I always love to make new friends & appreciate their support. I will follow your blog on daily basis or will try to do visit you on daily basis..I am one of your follower list now.

I love the post on peace of mind thing.. from all the above I think Jealosy is the hardest one to deal with it..Even though you know it's bad thing not only for others but for your health too .. you have to give up lots of thing in order to have jealousy word from your dictionary & i am aware that most of time problem occurs with girls & unfortunately that is turth.

Love your writing .. Keep up the good work.

Keep smiling & world will smile with you!

Sabi Sunshine

Neeha said...

Nic post..But following all these things are really difficult..
For peace,I believe life is too short,we don't have time for others.
So enjoy yourself & if possible help others,but never hurt others:)

Cherry Blossom said...

I happened to come across this inspiring article of yours where you have wonderfully analysed and stated the facts about attaining peace of mind. In today’s world, practically speaking, there is neither peace, nor happiness. The reasons can be varied but this is a fact. As a child, I have come across this line, “It is not important what we lost, but it is important what we are left with.” All I can say is that I try to pursue this message in practical existence.
The ten fields of peaceful attainment that you have beautifully mentioned, I wonder if it can be practically imbibed into our life. Man is a complex character. Most of us move around with dual personalities.
Just one question “Do you believe what people appreciate and say here, they follow, or even try to follow such values in reality?”
But I do understand and agree with a thought that with such a wonderful post, even if a single individual adheres to such principles, life would have been so different and so beautiful.

Alka Gurha said...

Jack...Bingo..Totally Agree. Nice post...

Ellen said...

Hi Jack,

Indeed, all are essentials to peace of mind. Of course others may add theirs to the list whatever they have found or discovered to be true too. This is a wonderful post --- good insights to derive wisdom from. Thanks for sharing.

Yes, I remember you mentioned something about doing a list on the subject of relationships. That sounds interesting. Allow me time to think about it. Will let you know soonest I have it down in the blog. And I'll be looking forward to your visit too. lols!

Take care and God bless you and your family.


Jack said...


Welcome to my space. It is true that one needs a lot of effort to overcome jealousy. As a matter of fact even for rest it is not very easy. One has to make concerted efforts. I still fail at times but then try to correct myself. I am not able to write very frequently but at least onec a week is what I aim to. My next post is drafted and will put it here in a couple of days. Please do try to read some of mu older posts and give you views. Take care


True. Life is too short but we all need to have peace of mind. You have very rightly said " Enjoy yourself, if possible help others but never hurt others ". That itself is a big thing. Take care

C B :

Thanks a lot for comment in depth. I agree I do not know if anyone does follow what I try to put across but that does not deter me from sharing my experiences. It may not also be possible to follow everything I write. It may give food for thought to some at least. Take care


Welcome to my space. And I am so impressed by short but on the dot view. Look forward to your views on my older posts too if you get time to go through few of those at least. Take care


I have tried to make a beginning for everyone to give it a thought and add what comes in their mind. There will surely be some more points and that will be most welcome. Take care

MissTerious♥ said...

as usual helpful...1
lovely lovely..