I have been absent for a fortnight here as well as in visiting you all regularly. I, alongwith my wife, had to visit Chandigarh for some family commitment. On return I could not get back into right frame of mind to do what I love. This is what happens when you are eldest in the family and have to attend to so many issues. I will take a couple of days to catch up with all pending posts from each of you.
We had decided to go by car and what an experience it was. It was raining very heavily most of the time necessitating caution in driving. There was lot of water at a number of places on the road as well as around. There were a lot of diversions at many places due to work going on the road. The drive was enjoyable but it also set me thinking about driving courtesies. I know we all are in hurry to get where we are heading for but I wish to share some of my observations which if followed may enable easy flow of traffic :
1. Stick to one lane as it helps those who want to overtake. If you drive keeping the dividing line of lanes in center of car, this will make others impatient as they will not be able to overtake.
2. Maintain steady safe speed.
3. Observe right of way rules.
4. Overtake only when safe.
5. In case of traffic jam due to any reason, stick to your lane even if the next one moves faster as it will disrupt the flow.
6. Never go over to the lane for oncoming traffic as that will cause severe traffic jam as none of us are willing to reverse and even if we wish to the vehicles who followed us make it impossible.
7. If you have to stop for any reason, like asking for directions, make sure that you do not block the flow of traffic.
8. If you have to use your mobile phone, draw on side leaving the busy road and talk.
These are few things which came in my mind and these are not only for highway driving but on driving at any time anywhere. We all are aware of such simple courtesies and curse others ahead of us if they are not following any of these, but do we really care for it when we are at wheel?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
SOME LAUGHTER
I have been writing here for almost 2 years now. Before that I was writing at o3.indiatimes site. I still post there too, if I can navigate to that space. Lately some of my friends here have expressed if what I write is true incidents or fiction. I would like to clarify that to all my dear friends here. The title of my space is “ Sharing Thoughts and Experiences”. Well, that is what I do. I write posts based on my experience in life, working period of about 41 years in different organisations and earlier during student time. My first exposure to the realities of life was when I was about 5 or so. I saw a train accident as a small culvert had been washed away due to floods caused by heavy rains and selfless help rendered by so many persons as well as apathy shown by some. So I narrate incidents which I have been witness to with little padding up. Some are based on what is narrated by close friends. Mostly it is former. Those are the ones where I give names of involved persons, though changed ones. Then I write what my thoughts are, like posts – For A Happy Married Life in 3 parts, What Makes A Marriage or Relationship Happy and Healthy to name a few. My only fiction has been Darkness At Noon but that too was on realistic mode. Of course I am not talking of Tags or Humour posts.
Enough of clarifications, now for some fun :
A blonde came home elated and told her roommate that she was with her boyfriend when he visited ATM and she got to know the password of his ATM card. On being asked what was it, she told , “ It is ********.”
This one is related by my grandfather who was a Headmaster. There was a visit by Inspector of Schools and he showed desire to visit class rooms. In one of the classes he asked the students if anyone could tell how old he was. Up went one hand. My grandfather, who was with the Inspector, was worried as the student who raised his hand was very naughty. On being asked he told, “ Sir, you are 40 years old.” The Inspector showed surprise and said, “ Very correct.” He gave that boy pat on his back. Later my grandfather asked that student as to how did he guess it correctly. The student replied, “ Sir, in our village we have a mad person who asks stupid questions and he is 20. The question asked by Inspector Sahib was double stupid so I thought he must be 40.”
3 Priests were chit chatting and one of them said that whatever money is offered to the deity, he puts half for deity and takes the rest for himself. Second one said that he draws a line close to deity and throws the money towards deity, whatever crosses the line is for deity and rest for him. The third one said, “ You are fools. I throw the money up and whatever deity wants He keeps and rest falls back for me.”
Little Jimmy was admonished by his teacher many times not to count on finger while replying to addition sums. One day she asked what was 5 plus 5. She saw Jimmy counting on finger. So she told him to put his hands in pockets and then do the sum. Jimmy put his hands in pockets and after a while he replied, “ 11.”
A lady had employed new driver. One days she had to go for a meeting. She was aghast that the driver kept blowing horn most of the time. While returning she told him that she would drive. She thought that she would not use horn at all and then advise the driver. When she got off the car at home and before she could say anything the driver said, “ Madam, you drive so nicely but don’t you feel horny?”
A farmer was sitting on the porch enjoying cake when he saw a rooster chasing a hen. As they passed him, he threw some crumbs. The rooster stopped to eat. The farmer looked towards heaven and prayed, “ O God! Please do not make me that hungry ever.”
Enough of clarifications, now for some fun :
A blonde came home elated and told her roommate that she was with her boyfriend when he visited ATM and she got to know the password of his ATM card. On being asked what was it, she told , “ It is ********.”
This one is related by my grandfather who was a Headmaster. There was a visit by Inspector of Schools and he showed desire to visit class rooms. In one of the classes he asked the students if anyone could tell how old he was. Up went one hand. My grandfather, who was with the Inspector, was worried as the student who raised his hand was very naughty. On being asked he told, “ Sir, you are 40 years old.” The Inspector showed surprise and said, “ Very correct.” He gave that boy pat on his back. Later my grandfather asked that student as to how did he guess it correctly. The student replied, “ Sir, in our village we have a mad person who asks stupid questions and he is 20. The question asked by Inspector Sahib was double stupid so I thought he must be 40.”
3 Priests were chit chatting and one of them said that whatever money is offered to the deity, he puts half for deity and takes the rest for himself. Second one said that he draws a line close to deity and throws the money towards deity, whatever crosses the line is for deity and rest for him. The third one said, “ You are fools. I throw the money up and whatever deity wants He keeps and rest falls back for me.”
Little Jimmy was admonished by his teacher many times not to count on finger while replying to addition sums. One day she asked what was 5 plus 5. She saw Jimmy counting on finger. So she told him to put his hands in pockets and then do the sum. Jimmy put his hands in pockets and after a while he replied, “ 11.”
A lady had employed new driver. One days she had to go for a meeting. She was aghast that the driver kept blowing horn most of the time. While returning she told him that she would drive. She thought that she would not use horn at all and then advise the driver. When she got off the car at home and before she could say anything the driver said, “ Madam, you drive so nicely but don’t you feel horny?”
A farmer was sitting on the porch enjoying cake when he saw a rooster chasing a hen. As they passed him, he threw some crumbs. The rooster stopped to eat. The farmer looked towards heaven and prayed, “ O God! Please do not make me that hungry ever.”
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
HOW MUCH TO LOVE YOUR CHILDREN
Siddharth was born after a lot of prayers and what not by his parents and grandparents. His parents had two daughters before him and wanted a son very desperately. The age gap between him and second sister was 12 years. So you can well imagine joy he must have brought to his parents and grandparents on his arrival in this world. They gave him all the attention and pampered him so much that right from his childhood he considered himself to be a gift to humanity. Relations between him and sisters were not so cordial as most of the time they were at the receiving end for crimes against him as per his statements without any cross check. He just got used to get what he wanted and the way was not any consideration. He even used to become violent at times when denied what he wanted. He was little above average height and good looking.
His grandparents were very disheartened at the way he was growing up. During his final years in school they tried to make him have some sense but he retaliated with so much of rudeness that they just went into shell. This depression caused them to depart this world one after the other in a space of just five months. He barely graduated after number of attempts as he loved going to college which gave him a chance to show off his latest acquisitions and have a number of girlfriends. As he was to step into his father’s shoes to run business, it was not considered that he study anything more. That is the kind of man he grew up to.
He started going to office under compulsion of his father who was keen that he learn about business to take over in a few years. He had to show interest in office lest his father stops giving him what he wants. But his heart was in having fun. So after office it was pubs with friends. It was well known that if he fancied a girl he made all out efforts to make her his girlfriend and as soon as he felt bored with her he dumped her. His mother was not very happy but could not do much. His sisters were both married and did not visit parental house often as they were happy in their respective homes. They were not keen to be with him due to his behavior which had made them face ire of parents when they were there.
He developed attraction for a girl, Roshni, working in the office as Business Development Officer. All his efforts to woo her failed. Even subtle threats about job conveyed through a crony of his in the office bore no fruit as she just told that she would rather resign than to be his friend. She was quite good looking. She was from a middle class family which he had found out through his sources. He got so obsessed that he forced his mother to get him married to her.
For a month or so after marriage it seemed that he had become a totally different person. Roshni was not going to office any more though his father had plans to give her some major responsibility at a later date. But it was not long lasting. As the novelty of marriage wore off and he had had what he wanted he was back to his old self. He again started visiting pubs with his friends, of course new girls too. Roshni tried to reason it out with him but he just told her to mind her business. He even slapped her once in presence of his mother. She sided Roshni and he even told her to keep out of it.
His father had heart attack. Though he survived but was confined to bed due to paralysis of lower limbs. Now he had the whole world to himself with no one to check him. His escapades got wilder with business being neglected. His father was not told anything initially but as he showed signs of improvement his mother put him in picture. He called for his lawyers and made Roshni Executive Director of the company with all powers. Siddharth was director but with no control over major issues. He was very upset and threatened to go to court but did not as he was advised that it would be of no use. He started drinking all the time and spending time with new girls. He almost stopped going to office. She grasped nuances of business very well and fast with guidance from her father in law. She was well liked and respected due to her humane approach. She gave due respect but was strict also without being arrogant.
His behaviour got worse and whatever time he was home he always kept shouting at his parents. He used to threaten her with dire consequences. He became well known in the whole city for his acts after drinking. One day late at night someone known to them called up to say that he is making a nuisance of himself at a pub. Roshni went alongwith their trusted help and driver to bring him back. On arrival she found him to be very aggressive. When she approached him, he shouted at her calling her all kinds of names. She requested him to calm down and come with her to go home. He used very abusive language telling her to go away. When she held him by the arm to guide him out of that place, he pushed her away with force making her fall. He then picked up a chair hitting her repeatedly. One of the persons in the pub called up police and he was arrested red handed. She sustained fracture of leg. The whole thing was caught on CCTV.
She took a stand to let him face the legal action. His parents supported her. He was locked up but was out on bail given by some rivals of his father. They even put him up in a hotel and paid for fees for lawyers. The investigating office of police was a honest person who took charge of CCTV footage and had recorded evidence of all available witnesses. The case went on for a long time but with all the strong evidence he was found guilty. He was sentenced to 3 years of rigorous imprisonment. He obtained bail and appealed against it but in due course of time his appeal was rejected. The persons supporting him realized that it was futile to back him as the evidence was clinching. Even in jail he tried to show his bossy nature but was badly beaten up by fellow prisoners.
Roshni and his mother visited him in jail but initially he refused to see them. Over a time he realized that there was no one who cared for him and all his friends had deserted him. So he started meeting them. A year in jail made him a changed person and he started regretting his past. His father improved but still did not go to office preferring to work through Roshni. They all hope that once he comes out of jail, he would have learnt his lesson and be a better person. His father still does not want to hand over reins of business to him but keep those with Roshni. He understand it and agrees with it.
The idea of telling this was that we should love our children but not pamper them to an extent that they become demons for us. Right values must be inculcated alongwith love.
His grandparents were very disheartened at the way he was growing up. During his final years in school they tried to make him have some sense but he retaliated with so much of rudeness that they just went into shell. This depression caused them to depart this world one after the other in a space of just five months. He barely graduated after number of attempts as he loved going to college which gave him a chance to show off his latest acquisitions and have a number of girlfriends. As he was to step into his father’s shoes to run business, it was not considered that he study anything more. That is the kind of man he grew up to.
He started going to office under compulsion of his father who was keen that he learn about business to take over in a few years. He had to show interest in office lest his father stops giving him what he wants. But his heart was in having fun. So after office it was pubs with friends. It was well known that if he fancied a girl he made all out efforts to make her his girlfriend and as soon as he felt bored with her he dumped her. His mother was not very happy but could not do much. His sisters were both married and did not visit parental house often as they were happy in their respective homes. They were not keen to be with him due to his behavior which had made them face ire of parents when they were there.
He developed attraction for a girl, Roshni, working in the office as Business Development Officer. All his efforts to woo her failed. Even subtle threats about job conveyed through a crony of his in the office bore no fruit as she just told that she would rather resign than to be his friend. She was quite good looking. She was from a middle class family which he had found out through his sources. He got so obsessed that he forced his mother to get him married to her.
For a month or so after marriage it seemed that he had become a totally different person. Roshni was not going to office any more though his father had plans to give her some major responsibility at a later date. But it was not long lasting. As the novelty of marriage wore off and he had had what he wanted he was back to his old self. He again started visiting pubs with his friends, of course new girls too. Roshni tried to reason it out with him but he just told her to mind her business. He even slapped her once in presence of his mother. She sided Roshni and he even told her to keep out of it.
His father had heart attack. Though he survived but was confined to bed due to paralysis of lower limbs. Now he had the whole world to himself with no one to check him. His escapades got wilder with business being neglected. His father was not told anything initially but as he showed signs of improvement his mother put him in picture. He called for his lawyers and made Roshni Executive Director of the company with all powers. Siddharth was director but with no control over major issues. He was very upset and threatened to go to court but did not as he was advised that it would be of no use. He started drinking all the time and spending time with new girls. He almost stopped going to office. She grasped nuances of business very well and fast with guidance from her father in law. She was well liked and respected due to her humane approach. She gave due respect but was strict also without being arrogant.
His behaviour got worse and whatever time he was home he always kept shouting at his parents. He used to threaten her with dire consequences. He became well known in the whole city for his acts after drinking. One day late at night someone known to them called up to say that he is making a nuisance of himself at a pub. Roshni went alongwith their trusted help and driver to bring him back. On arrival she found him to be very aggressive. When she approached him, he shouted at her calling her all kinds of names. She requested him to calm down and come with her to go home. He used very abusive language telling her to go away. When she held him by the arm to guide him out of that place, he pushed her away with force making her fall. He then picked up a chair hitting her repeatedly. One of the persons in the pub called up police and he was arrested red handed. She sustained fracture of leg. The whole thing was caught on CCTV.
She took a stand to let him face the legal action. His parents supported her. He was locked up but was out on bail given by some rivals of his father. They even put him up in a hotel and paid for fees for lawyers. The investigating office of police was a honest person who took charge of CCTV footage and had recorded evidence of all available witnesses. The case went on for a long time but with all the strong evidence he was found guilty. He was sentenced to 3 years of rigorous imprisonment. He obtained bail and appealed against it but in due course of time his appeal was rejected. The persons supporting him realized that it was futile to back him as the evidence was clinching. Even in jail he tried to show his bossy nature but was badly beaten up by fellow prisoners.
Roshni and his mother visited him in jail but initially he refused to see them. Over a time he realized that there was no one who cared for him and all his friends had deserted him. So he started meeting them. A year in jail made him a changed person and he started regretting his past. His father improved but still did not go to office preferring to work through Roshni. They all hope that once he comes out of jail, he would have learnt his lesson and be a better person. His father still does not want to hand over reins of business to him but keep those with Roshni. He understand it and agrees with it.
The idea of telling this was that we should love our children but not pamper them to an extent that they become demons for us. Right values must be inculcated alongwith love.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
WHY?
Rajat is in police lock up because of an accident he had. He is not willing to apply for bail or for that matter even engage a lawyer to defend him. His mother forced him to sign for a lawyer to plead his case. Let us see the background to this.
He is the only son of his parents. His father, a senior government officer, passed away when he had just joined service after his MBA. He had been a bright student and secured first division always. He also had been good in sports and other extra curricular activities. He had been provided the best of everything but without being pampered. Good values were also inculcated in him by his parents as well as grandparents who used to stay with them till they left this world. He was well liked by one and all for his gentle nature.
His hard work paid off and he climbed to the post of manager in very short time. He had befriended a girl and was keen to marry her. There was no objection from his mother but her father felt he was below their status. So he left it to his mother to find suitable match. She selected some girls and asked him to meet them to finalise. He got married to Sheetal, a girl from almost similar social background. Before marriage he was very honest to tell her about himself and his wish that his mother, though in receipt of pension, would continue staying with them. She had willingly agreed to this. She too was working in a good organization. They both used to be busy in their office routine and his mother took care of home. He used to enjoy a couple of CHHOTA drinks on return from office before having dinner. She used to give company at time with a glass of wine or so. On week ends they used to go out but his mother never agreed to accompany them saying that she would rather stay home to catch up with pending chores. Things were fine though they had normal adjustment problems. His mother always remained neutral and let them sort out their difference at their own. She rather sided with Sheetal if she found Rajat to be even a little unreasonable. There were some instances of interference from her mother at times but he ignored it with feeling that over time his wife will get over asking her mother for advice. They were blessed with a son in second year of marriage. By the time son was a year old, things seemed to change.
Sheetal started making issues of small happenings. She started nagging him a lot. Though she did not have any fights with his mother but started remaining aloof. There was hardly any interaction between her and mother in law. On return from office she used to take her son to her room and close the door. She even went off few times to stay with her parents for longish periods. Rajat was quite unhappy but continued making efforts to make things normal. She refused to communicate as to why was she behaving like this or what was on her mind. She started objecting to his drinking no matter how little it was. She would not stop him if he gave company to her father for drinking. This seemed very unreasonable to him. He tried to reason it out with her but she did not relent. So for the sake of peaceful life, he did not drink at home. However at times he used to have it on way back from office at some pub or the other and she never realized it. He was very unhappy with the way life was going on. He even indicated to her that this may drive him to leave the house and go away. She instead of understanding the gravity of such remarks became even more adamant on her ways. His mother though did not say anything but was sad at the turn of events. Her mother started making frequent visits and they would lock themselves up in her room.
Two days ago he poured a drink and Sheetal threw tantrum. She picked up his glass and threw it away. He lost temper and stormed out of house without saying anything to her. He went over to some pub and had more than he should have had. On way back while driving he momentarily lost consciousness and hit a cyclist. The cyclist was injured and his cycle was smashed. He was taken to police station. The cyclist was hospitalized and fortunately there were only superficial injuries from which he is expected to recover within few days. Rajat was very upset and said that he would rather stay in jail than to return home to all the bickering. Sheetal instead of showing any remorse put the blame on him and went off to her parents place. It is learnt that the cyclist is willing to compromise if he is given a new cycle and hospital bills paid off. His uncle has spoken to police who stated that they have no objection if compromise is reached.
I only hope and pray that it ends on a happy note. It will be so sad to see a good youngman going waste. It does make me wonder why we do not see positive side of life and live happily instead of creating disharmony.
PS : This is based on a true happening with very little additions from my side.
He is the only son of his parents. His father, a senior government officer, passed away when he had just joined service after his MBA. He had been a bright student and secured first division always. He also had been good in sports and other extra curricular activities. He had been provided the best of everything but without being pampered. Good values were also inculcated in him by his parents as well as grandparents who used to stay with them till they left this world. He was well liked by one and all for his gentle nature.
His hard work paid off and he climbed to the post of manager in very short time. He had befriended a girl and was keen to marry her. There was no objection from his mother but her father felt he was below their status. So he left it to his mother to find suitable match. She selected some girls and asked him to meet them to finalise. He got married to Sheetal, a girl from almost similar social background. Before marriage he was very honest to tell her about himself and his wish that his mother, though in receipt of pension, would continue staying with them. She had willingly agreed to this. She too was working in a good organization. They both used to be busy in their office routine and his mother took care of home. He used to enjoy a couple of CHHOTA drinks on return from office before having dinner. She used to give company at time with a glass of wine or so. On week ends they used to go out but his mother never agreed to accompany them saying that she would rather stay home to catch up with pending chores. Things were fine though they had normal adjustment problems. His mother always remained neutral and let them sort out their difference at their own. She rather sided with Sheetal if she found Rajat to be even a little unreasonable. There were some instances of interference from her mother at times but he ignored it with feeling that over time his wife will get over asking her mother for advice. They were blessed with a son in second year of marriage. By the time son was a year old, things seemed to change.
Sheetal started making issues of small happenings. She started nagging him a lot. Though she did not have any fights with his mother but started remaining aloof. There was hardly any interaction between her and mother in law. On return from office she used to take her son to her room and close the door. She even went off few times to stay with her parents for longish periods. Rajat was quite unhappy but continued making efforts to make things normal. She refused to communicate as to why was she behaving like this or what was on her mind. She started objecting to his drinking no matter how little it was. She would not stop him if he gave company to her father for drinking. This seemed very unreasonable to him. He tried to reason it out with her but she did not relent. So for the sake of peaceful life, he did not drink at home. However at times he used to have it on way back from office at some pub or the other and she never realized it. He was very unhappy with the way life was going on. He even indicated to her that this may drive him to leave the house and go away. She instead of understanding the gravity of such remarks became even more adamant on her ways. His mother though did not say anything but was sad at the turn of events. Her mother started making frequent visits and they would lock themselves up in her room.
Two days ago he poured a drink and Sheetal threw tantrum. She picked up his glass and threw it away. He lost temper and stormed out of house without saying anything to her. He went over to some pub and had more than he should have had. On way back while driving he momentarily lost consciousness and hit a cyclist. The cyclist was injured and his cycle was smashed. He was taken to police station. The cyclist was hospitalized and fortunately there were only superficial injuries from which he is expected to recover within few days. Rajat was very upset and said that he would rather stay in jail than to return home to all the bickering. Sheetal instead of showing any remorse put the blame on him and went off to her parents place. It is learnt that the cyclist is willing to compromise if he is given a new cycle and hospital bills paid off. His uncle has spoken to police who stated that they have no objection if compromise is reached.
I only hope and pray that it ends on a happy note. It will be so sad to see a good youngman going waste. It does make me wonder why we do not see positive side of life and live happily instead of creating disharmony.
PS : This is based on a true happening with very little additions from my side.
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