Monday, May 17, 2010

MUTUAL SUPPORT

I am reproducing a post which I had written more than a year & half ago on o3.indiatimes space. I have made a few changes but main essence remains the same. This is for your views.

As I have said earlier Saggystrikesagain's “Whose Money is it anyway?” had given me “ prerna” to start penning down my thoughts to share them with you and seek your views. I have been guided by Lavina how to write. I donot know if she has seen my last comment on Sagging bit.
I visited Whose Money again and read Indu K Raghavean's comments. Well, Indu to an extent I agree with you but not the bit about parent's duty being over once offspring is capable of being on his or her own. This is true in case of animals and birds. But do they have any feelings of attachments with family? Why do we feel proud if grandchild does well? Is it not family ties? Parents continue to see that their offsprings have the best. Even at old age they would take care of grandchildren if required due to offsprings being occupied with their profession. They can run the house as needed. This is mutual support system where they have security at their old age while youngsters have someone to share their chores with. Ties do not break at time when you are earning and can look after yourself.
Sorry for digressing from my main theme. Marriage is not just union of two persons. It is a healthy relationship started by two families. They come together by this act. Both boy and girl have to understand that their family has got new member or is extended. As the girl moves to new environments she has very big responsibility to take on. She is the link between both families. Both - boy & girl have to understand that they have to care for elders of each other. This is more so in case she is the only child. We have to change our mindset that girl becomes “parai” after marriage. Who will look after her parents in their old age? Even if she has a brother what is the harm if she also cares for her parents? As a matter of fact husband should see that what is needed is done. Of course, any undue action needs to be avoided by both. To have a healthy and happy family life it is important to have TWO WAY COMMUNICTION. If one has any misunderstandings it is better to clear them off by discussing with open mind rather than continuing to see things in negative manner. In a family one is not expected to keep any secrets. I agree one's income is his or her own right. But don't you think that sharing of information at own is better? If girl's parents need why can they not stay with them? Why can not parents of both stay together if circumstance so require? They will of course need to adjust with each other and try to live in harmony.
I support Prerna but with only stipulation that she should share her thoughts with all in her new family.

15 comments:

Crazy Diamond said...

i agree

parents always support their kids, no matter how old the children are or how financially well settled or otherwise. parents are always there..and thats their unconditional love..not the feeling of doing any favor..

and yeah, a girl should be able to support her parents even after marriage.. but parents feel ashamed to take her help...thats sad..that makes her feel very distanced and out of the family in the true sense.

Sonshu said...

Ah

Totally. My parents always support me, with whatever it is. Eve about my decision on what career i wanna do etc. I love them! :))

Parents should be supportive :)

Escapist said...

U always need support,being it's family,life partner.....


jolliieess:)

sulagna ™ said...

i agree, parenst are the most pure form form of love and uspport one can ever witness..

and jack uncle thansk a bunch for wishing G on his birthday, it made both of us feel so nice

sulagna ™ said...

and ohh G has sent a huge thank you for the beautiful birthday card you sent...it really really made him smile :) thank you once again for your blessings and good wishes

Chandrika Shubham said...

I agree. They both can live together.

Jack said...

C D :

That is called family ties. We need to change mindset to treat daughter equal to son. She rather has more responsibility as she needs to take care of her new family as well as care for her parents too. Take care


SHONA :

One needs to remember this when time comes for children to look after their parents in old age. Take care


ESCAPIST :

We live on support system. And we need to reciprocate it too. Take care


SULAGAN :

True. Awwww, think nothing of it. It was my duty. I am glad this made you both happy. Take care


CHANDRIKA :

Why not? One has to change mindset and if need arises there should be no hesitation for this. Take care

geeta said...

Parents are always there through the children thick and thin..unconditional love,unconditional support,either its mental,emotional or financial...they are always with them....

I am in favour of girl supporting her parents even after marriage....

P.S Did you vote for tranquil tuesday series...if not please go ahead...

suruchi said...

Hi Jack
I remember you mentioning about this post in a previous recent one...
I do agree with you of course, though any kind of generalization tends to get complicated because the scenarios n circumstances are not alike in all cases...

Having said that..it is still essential to have a basic guideline to go by...
Thanks for sharing the piece again...
Like I said earlier...glad to have you back n hope to see you smile someday*not the smile part...but SEE you smiling that is:-)*

Jack said...

GEETA :

It is two way traffic. Parental support is unconditional and expected but children too have to understand that after having had that support it becomes their moral duty to support parents in the time of their need. It is equally applicable to boys or girls. Take care


SURUCHI :

I am so overwhelmed by your kind words. Parental support is expected but children too must remember to pay the debt when time comes, this is for boys or girls both. Take care

Sakshi said...

We are two sisters. And, we are still being brought up like princesses by our parents. We love them. And, I have dreams for them, just like they do for us. And, parents are parents, even after marriage. I am gonna be with them all the way through... marriage or no marriage.

Jack said...

Sakshi,

Parents take care of their children as they feel it is their duty. So children too must realise that it is their moral duty to reciprocate when time comes, it is for boys or girls equally.

Take care

♫♪♥Lonely Dreamer♥♪♫ said...

My parents rock :) Honestly!
Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you liked my posts :)
Do check out my new one!
Take Care!

Jack said...

Juhi,

You are lucky to have such supportive parents. Do remember this when they grow old and need support. I will visit you after this.

Take care

Tranquility Speaks said...

We have this really weird notion in place that parents' responsibilities towards the girl child are over once she is married off. Parents can't wash their hands off like this. The Indian society has so many practices like parents not eating at the girl's sasuraal and not staying with her, which have become increasingly outdated. Time for a change, but changing the mentality will take decades!