I am reproducing a post which I had written more than a year & half ago on o3.indiatimes space. I have made a few changes but main essence remains the same. This is for your views.
As I have said earlier Saggystrikesagain's “Whose Money is it anyway?” had given me “ prerna” to start penning down my thoughts to share them with you and seek your views. I have been guided by Lavina how to write. I donot know if she has seen my last comment on Sagging bit.
I visited Whose Money again and read Indu K Raghavean's comments. Well, Indu to an extent I agree with you but not the bit about parent's duty being over once offspring is capable of being on his or her own. This is true in case of animals and birds. But do they have any feelings of attachments with family? Why do we feel proud if grandchild does well? Is it not family ties? Parents continue to see that their offsprings have the best. Even at old age they would take care of grandchildren if required due to offsprings being occupied with their profession. They can run the house as needed. This is mutual support system where they have security at their old age while youngsters have someone to share their chores with. Ties do not break at time when you are earning and can look after yourself.
Sorry for digressing from my main theme. Marriage is not just union of two persons. It is a healthy relationship started by two families. They come together by this act. Both boy and girl have to understand that their family has got new member or is extended. As the girl moves to new environments she has very big responsibility to take on. She is the link between both families. Both - boy & girl have to understand that they have to care for elders of each other. This is more so in case she is the only child. We have to change our mindset that girl becomes “parai” after marriage. Who will look after her parents in their old age? Even if she has a brother what is the harm if she also cares for her parents? As a matter of fact husband should see that what is needed is done. Of course, any undue action needs to be avoided by both. To have a healthy and happy family life it is important to have TWO WAY COMMUNICTION. If one has any misunderstandings it is better to clear them off by discussing with open mind rather than continuing to see things in negative manner. In a family one is not expected to keep any secrets. I agree one's income is his or her own right. But don't you think that sharing of information at own is better? If girl's parents need why can they not stay with them? Why can not parents of both stay together if circumstance so require? They will of course need to adjust with each other and try to live in harmony.
I support Prerna but with only stipulation that she should share her thoughts with all in her new family.