Monday, May 3, 2010

IRONY OF LIFE

Is it not an Irony of Life that a person trying to do something for community wellbeing unexpectedly finds own backyard badly cluttered? That is what has hit me so hard. I have been sharing my thoughts and experiences here with a hope that it may benefit someone. Few days ago I had written about a young girl married for about year and half, playing truant and what she probably faced and something at my own home blew up in my face. This has upset me to no amount. I am going to share it with you all.

I WROTE THIS POST UNDER EMOTIONAL WEAK MOMENT. I AM TAKING IT OFF. Thanks to Rohini, Shona, Ash and Suruchi for their support. Yes, I will be strong and face what life throws at me boldly.

Sorry for lamenting like an old man with broken heart. But it does hurt deep inside. May be I am paying for my sins.

29 comments:

rohini said...

Sir, I m really sorry to hear all this sad news...The man who used to solve every1's prob is himself in the bad time.....but trust me sir this will too not last for a longer time....
on ur move sir, i will request never to leave ur home...if ur DIL is adamant let her leave with her husb and duaghter and find her a palce near to her parents..if thats the reason....but sir nevere leave ur place...be strong..i kn u will be..but be strong for ur wife too...this is my say on it....the one's who want a shift...let them shift.....
I kn the anger and a turmoil state in u sir...and I on behalf of all the fellow bloggers, sir,request u to stay clam and composed...we all are with u.....and never curse self deeds on another's sins...
Take Care sir.......and all the best.....

Sonshu said...

Aw, omg, dun worry! Things will be fine in the end!

We'll pray for you!

ash89 said...

i hope things work out for u. Try to stay strong. Tk care

suruchi said...

Hi Jack...
I am so sorry for life takes these crappy turns that leaves us bewildered and aghast...
All our planning goes awash and we wonder what’s worth it and what’s not...

We pine and crave for children thinking they would be the support of our old age...and sadly when they grow up, the modern children have no time for parents...that sometimes includes me too...
We get so busy in our lives that we fail to realize their needs...

But nothing can justify leaving them by themselves....
I as a married woman also had issues with my in-laws on n off...but never would I think of separating my husband from his parents...

You should not leave your house.
Your son is earning and your daughter-in-law is manipulative...
Let them find a way out of this...when we make things easy for our children, we are not doing them a favour....we are dampening their spirit of taking decisions and making efforts for themselves...

That’s what perhaps you have always done for your son, which is why he is unable to take a strong stand against his wife now!

Your wife also deserves a comfortable old age..please don’t make her go through this...settling in a new environment is easier for young people than the aged...plus there is absolutely no need to make more sacrifices...

You have already done your bit through life...
Now stop!
It’s time you enjoy whatever’s left of it...and the children are grown-ups...let them take their decisions and manage on their own...

We all need to think about ourselves...at least and especially in old age when all our chores and responsibilities are done!
Please do so for yourself too...

I do hope to see you around...
And would be there if you would want me...to share or talk.
My prayers with you:-)
All will be well for whatever happens, happens for the good eventually.

Sakshi said...

Uncle J-
This is So sad. You have been such a support system to all of us.. and don't worry, I am sure that things will work out.
Just rationalise your decision, please. Once more think about it.
Our good wishes and support are always with you.

Jack said...

ROHINI, SHONA, ASH and SURUCHI :

Thanks, I have edited the post and mentioned you all in the edited version. Take care


SAKSHI :

Your comment appeared when I was editing the post. Thanks for your support. Take care

Escapist said...

Hi Uncle Jack,

Oh so sad for this part of life...Easy,things will get down settled soon..


Jollieess:)

P.S:- I couldn't make make my promise,i was in hurry and it was damn hot foe me,i am not used to such heat.

Mademoiselle Deva said...

I am so sorry Jack to hear the bad news. I hope everything will be good very soon. You are not lamenting, you're just upset and I fully understand the anger and disappointment you are carrying right now. I will keep you in my prayers. Stay strong.

Shayon said...

I know you had edited the post, but being the technically inclined that I am, I did manage to read the post in it's original form. I will not mention how since it better stay buried if you want it to.

I do not know if a 24 year old kid is allowed to advise a 64 year old ex-army man, but I shall still take a shot.

Personally, I agree with Suruchi. While it is true that you want your son and daughter-in-law to be happy, you also have a responsibility towards your wife. And at a time like this, it is important to think of your own wife first, and then your son. If I take it for granted that your wife has always managed to abide by your decisions, then isn't it your duty to take care of her happiness and comfort too, rather than pushing off your own decision and ego over her shoulder? Aren't you being as adamant and emotionally blackmailing your wife the way your daughter-in-law is doing to your son? Think about it, Uncle J.

Moreover, if your daughter-in-law says that she needs to be closer to her parents, then I fail to understand that how the hell staying at your present house will mean her staying close to her parents? And if it is actually close, then why the hell can't she stay here now?

And well, in case you do not change your decision and do decide to move out, I'd like to volunteer to pay off your Internet bills, at least. Not just because I can afford it, but it would be a shame if we do not see you around, as often as we have gotten used to. You don't have to give me anything, other than your broadband phone number, and I shall keep paying the bills off, every single month. Consider it as a little love that I manage to express, towards you. And as they say, if you love someone, always make sure you tell them about it!

I am aware that I too am a son, and I do not if I shall face similar situations in my life too. Neither do I know how I would react to it myself. Choosing between your parents and your love is the worst thing that can happen to someone. But then, I am hoping I shall stay strong and take the right decision.

How I wish I was rich enough to have a spare house in Delhi! :-(

Shayon said...

Ohh... and I almost forgot... speaking of you not wanting to do anything with your daughter-in-law, I'd just like to remind you that everybody deserves a second chance. Especially the ones you love!

It is tough, but if you manage to pull it off, there are very few satisfactions that feel better than this one.

sakhii•• said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gourav Agrawal said...

I also did manage to read the post in it's original form. This is my first time on your blog. I have no words to express my feelings. i also think this will too not last for a longer time.
stay strong. Take Care sir.

Jack said...

ESCAPIST :

Thanks for your support. I have regained my composure. Hope next time you can keep your promise. Take care


DEVA :

I am so grateful for your wishes and including me in your prayers. It is really so good of you. I or rather we have left it to our son to resolve this the way he wishes to. We will not interfere as it is their life. Take care


SHAYON :

Age is no bar in offering good advice. I could get point of view from a young person like you. I will support my wife in all circumstances. I do hope that it gets resolved soon for the sake of our granddaughter. I will not hold any grudge against her, it is young mind which thinks only for self. And sincere thanks for your offer which shows so much of affection. Take care


GAURAV :

Welcome to my space. Thanks for your support. I have regained control over myself and pray that they resolve it soon. Do give your views on my older posts too. Take care

BROKEN STAR said...

?????.......I Have just got an idea about the happening....sir i can just wish for better things and peace in ur life..i m not aware about the problem as such, so can't give my opinion over here..but as a fellow blogger I support you....take care!

♫♪♥W!nK♥♪♫ said...

You were always there for me in my bad days. Things will be fine. Have trust and faith.
I'll surely pray for you, Uncle!
Please take care and be strong!

Jack said...

B S :

Thanks a lot for your support. I have regained my self control and will take steps for betterment of concerned persons. Take care


JUHI :

I am so touched by your words. It is with support of my dear bloggermates that I am back to normal, or almost normal. Take care

WarmSunshine said...

Uncle Jack, this post comes a shock to me. I was expecting the usual kind, and advisory posts you give us with so much love. I hate to even think something of the sort troubles you. I hope all is well. We all are with you. Every one.

Best regards to you...
Mehreen.

Rinkal said...

uncle
you had helped me in the situation which i was passing htrough and passing
why i am hearing that a person who helps everyone is sitting in saddness
keep courage
and god is there
everything will be fine.
take care

Jack said...

MEHREEN :

I am overwhelmed by your affectionate support. May God bless you with all the happiness in the world. I have regained my old self and feel positive that it will get resolved soon. Take care


RINKAL :

So sweet of you to give such encouraging support. Yes, God willingly it should get resolved soon. Take care

sm said...

sorry hope it will be fine in end

Jack said...

S M :

Welcome to my space. I too hope so. I pray for that day to come soon. Kindly do give me your views on my older posts too.

Take care

Jigyasa said...

Uncle Jack!

This is sad to know....but thats the way life is....its not always good to good people also.

What matters is that you have so many of us to stand by you. You have been a pillar of strength who is not only courageous but also the one who is forever instilling courage through his posts....so please be the same - Strong & Courageous.

I totally agree to the fellow bloggers.....think of yourselves & your wife first before anything or anybody else.

Take Care...Keep Faith.

Jack said...

JIGYASA :

I am moved by your show of support and such nice advice. I am back to normal, almost. I will take care of my wife first and foremost.

Take care

Crazy Diamond said...

:(

life !!!!!! tests all of us. all the time.

geeta said...

Looks like I missed something and you have passed through a negative phase of life..
I hope the things are getting better..and you are growing stronger...
I know you through your writings and I could say that you are a kind and a warm hearted person.You could never hurt any one by any means...
Don't curse yourself and stay cool..everything will harmonize soon....

Jack said...

C D :

True. Life is full of tests. One has to face these boldly. Take care


GEETA :

The life is full of ups and downs and one needs to live through each face with courage. I am so grateful for your support and will keep it in mind whenever I feel down. Take care

Starry-eyed nut said...

I have been missing from the blog scene for sometime, so I guess I missed this post. But I hope all is well now!

Jack said...

ABHILASHA :

Nice to see you back. No, it is still status quo. Do let me have your views on my current posts.

Take care

Tranquility Speaks said...

Hi Jack! I came here a little too late, so I am sorry I wasn't around when you needed support. I didn't even get to read the original post. But I sincerely hope you feel much stronger and more capable of dealing with the situation than when you wrote this post.

Since I don't know your daughter-in-law and have no idea why she wants to leave, I shall refrain from commenting. But this much I will say that if you and your wife aren't interfering too much in the lives of your son and daughter-in-law then there can't be any good reason for them to leave. But then again, if your son and his spouse so decide, let them go. They will gradually find their way back. I wish you strength, serenity and grace