Thursday, April 8, 2010

SENSE OF SATISFACTION

Today morning I had gone to market with grandchildren. They clung to me when suddenly a tall well built man of about 50 blocked my way touching my feet while saying “ Sir, do you remember me?”. Even at that age he looked handsome. His good looking wife and 2 grown up children, a boy and a girl, were a step behind him. His face looked familiar. I tried hard to place him but could not. His next words to his wife “ Remember I have been telling you of someone who showed me the right path, he is the one ” opened floodgates of my memory. I was seeing him after more than 20 years. His wife stepped forward touching my feet and so did his son. His daughter after greeting me busied herself with my grandchildren. We spoke for sometime. After exchanging our telephone numbers, I promised to visit them in the nearby town as soon as I could. In the afternoon when all were in siesta mode, I was in the drawing room with newspapers but my mind went over to what happened so many years ago. Let me share it with you all.

His name is Adarsh. He was in the company I was working with. At that time he was about 28, a dashing young man with lot of zeal to work. He was married a year or so back. I had met his wife a few times in official get togethers. She was well educated, intelligent and good looking. She was also working in a reputed organisation. They looked made for each other couple. However as they say looks are deceptive. I learnt that they were not having smooth married life due to his roving eye. I was told that he was not trusted by others because of his many flings. As a matter of fact he was not even given any important task for the fear of leaking secrets on being lured by female company. It was generally expected that it is just a matter of time for the gate to be shown to him. I somehow found it hard that an intelligent and energetic youngman was going waste. A couple of days before I left that company to join another I called him over to my office just before closing time. I put my cards on the table saying that what I heard about him did not go with his intelligence and education. I asked him if he would like to speak to me openly so if possible I could suggest some remedial ways. After remaining silent for a while he opened up.

He was second amongst three siblings with other two being sisters. His father was in Government service at decent but not very high post. They lived in a small accommodation provided to them. There was not much of privacy. He had recollections of his parent copulating, though not openly, at night when they thought he was asleep. He did know what it was at that time but felt that it was something which could not be done in front of others. He was about 7 or 8 when an older boy made him strip and felt him around as well as made him reciprocate. He liked the sensation and it seemed forbidden act. They continued with this and more for next few years. It was in 9th standard that he came in contact with girls. A few months later he and his girlfriend explored each other. There was no stopping after that. By the time he had completed graduation he had had a string of girlfriends due to his being tall and handsome. He was topper in studies, top class debater and a good sportsman which made sought after by girls. He had made love to almost all of them. He got into habit of changing girlfriends like outfashioned clothes. He confessed that he feels enamoured on seeing an attractive girl with good assets and shapely bottom. He gets a strong desire to have her. He said he felt helpless to control this urge.

After hearing all this, I asked him if he had sought any professional help. He replied in negative as that would bring him out openly harming his relations with all. So I told him that next time when he has that urge, he should force his mind to answer following questions to himself :

a) How would he feel if his wife too wanted to go around with men she found attractive?
b) What would his yet to be born children think of him once they come to know of his habit?
c) Would he let his children, boy or girl, emulate him?
d) Why can he not try to discover new horizons with his wife?

I did not see him again as he did not come to office for the next few days till I left for another town.

And I accidentally met him now after more than 20 years. It made me feel deeply satisfied on knowing that he and his family are happily together.

23 comments:

ki said...

I am glad he had someone who bothered explaining things to him rather than shunning him or judging him. :)

sulagna ™ said...

ohh uncle Jack you know you are a wonderful wonderful man...

Divya said...

Dear Jack

Its so wonderful to know that a small gesture and kind ear you lend to a person years ago helped him and his entire family for the rest of his life... All it takes is a kind heart to listen... I am proud to know someone like you in my life.

Cheers
Divya

rohini said...

its so spl post....
U have been tagged...http://rohinirojindar.blogspot.com/2010/04/seven-random-things.html

Sakshi said...

This is no nice. Sometimes, the nice deeds done yield such great results that one cannot help but be proud. :)

Amrita said...

Wow! Thats a very kind thing you did.. Really

Meghna said...

good one :)

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

That was really nice of you uncle.
Also people usually forget the person who has helped them. So it was really nice to know that that man who had helped you hadn't. :)

Jack said...

KI :

Remember what Mahatama Gandhi said " PAAP SE GHRINA KARO, PAAPI SE NAHIN". Take care


SULAGNA :

No, I am not. I just try to do what I think is right as per my conscience. Take care


DIVYA :

Have you heard a very old song " APNE LIYE JIYE TO KYA JIYE, TU JI YE DIL ZAMANE KE LIYE". Take care


ROHINI :

Thanks for appreciation. I will take up the tag soon. Take care


SAKSHI :

Is it NO or So in the beginning. I felt it as my duty as an elder to see if I could make him see the folly. Yes, it did make me feel very happy to see them together. Take care.


AMRITA :

As I have told Sulagna, I did what I felt was right as per my conscience. Take care


MEGHNA :

Thanks for visit and supportive view. Take care


HARINI :

This shows his basic good nature otherwise he would not have remembered me at all. It was a very nice gesture of him to introduce me to his family in that way. Take care

Mannu said...

an ai see eee! (that's NICE).
And so the world was like it is toady..so much amorous even in those mid 60's.!(when he would be 9 or so)
And i can see lack of privacy (also a cuase)giving birth to it!

Wonder how are his young children- son and daughter--faring in this field..What lessons have they been given using his experince.

But mid eighties were like that..i have one such experince myself..but later i was always under severe control.
BUT alas, excessive control!

Shayon said...

I started writing commenting on this post, and I realized it was getting so huge that i translated into a post itself. Here's my reaction to your post -

http://www.shayonpal.com/thoughts/how-social-should-a-man-be/

And yes, I know I owe both a phone call and an apology. Shall be coming up with both, very soon.

♫♪♥W!nK♥♪♫ said...

I agree with Sulagna. You're no doubt a wonderful person! :)
It feels good when you meet people after so long and it feels even better to know that you've touched their life!
Good post! :)

Jack said...

MANNU :

Welcome to my space. Hope you have read my other posts too. Your views on those are most welcome. Basics do not change with time. Only add ons take place. I have not had opportunity to meet them again. Take care


SHAYON :

I will visit and read soon. You are welcome to call up anytime. Take care


JUHI :

I try to do what is feel is right as per my conscience. It did give me a deep sense of satisfaction on seeing them happily together. Take care

Americanising Desi said...

and you know what, you are a wonderfully kind man !

suruchi said...

It is so nice to see you doing good deeds just as you stroll by on your life’s way...

Very inspiring:-)
Sometimes even a little talk can go a long way:-)

Jack said...

A D :

It is just that I try to go by my conscience without any desire for reward. Take care


SURUCHI :

At times one who has wandered needs awakening. This is what happened with this young man. I was just instrumental in kindling his conscience. Take care

geeta said...

Thats what makes a person a true human being....Do the good deeds without any desire..

That's what you did...
I really appreciate such persons...


At last I have read all your posts ...hope I haven't missed any one...

♦ Crazy Diamond ♦ said...

Great, a family saved!! :) well done rockstar !

Jack said...

GEETA :

I am grateful for your supportive comments. One should do whatever possible for benefit of society without any thought of returns. I am so happy that you spent so much of your precious time to read my older posts too. Take care


C D :

Nice to see you here after a gap. Thanks for appreciative and affectionate comments. Take care

littlemissjuicy said...

oh my God. This is sooo sweet, Uncle Jack.
Thanks for reminding us all a simple act can mean so much to someone else.
God bless.

Jack said...

l m j :

Nice to see you here. Thanks for your supportive views. Take care

Manjunath said...

Your few words changed a polluted man to gentleman! this shows kind words is powerful than judging or scolding a person :)

Jack said...

MANJUNATH :

Welcome to my space. It is very easy to castigate a person but what we need is to understand why did he or she do what he or she did. As I told KI above " Paap se ghrina karo, paapi se nahin." And also when you point finger at someone, you must remember the rest three fingers are pointing at you. Hope you have read my other posts too.

Take care