Shruti in her post listed out qualities she is looking for in the person with whom she would like to spend rest of her life and I thought that I would replicate my post of August, 2008 in o3.indiatimes here. Though I promised to put it on Sunday but could not wait. This is what I had written with little additions now :
Jitu while commenting on my post “ Why do we accept this ” had asked What is Happy Married Life. I promised that I will write a post on this as it was not possible to reply as a comment. So here I am keeping my promise.
Happy married life does not mean all love & honey with no differences or arguments . It means that inspite of all these, couple stay together and live happily. What are the ingredients for that? I am trying to list some of these, may not be in the order of priority :
TWO WAY COMMUNICATION : In my opinion this is the FOREMOST requirement where couple are in a position to talk things over instead of bottling up and sulking. This includes WILLINGNESS TO ADJUST as well as OVERCOMING EGOS.
TRUST : They both have to have trust in each other instead of trying to find what partner is upto to the point of nagging.
RESPECT : I do not think I need to elaborate this. Respect not only for each other but for partner’s relatives or friends too. They should never ridicule weakness of other.
SUPPORT : They should never have doubts that partner will not support him or her. Be it financially or emotionally.
SPACE : They both have to learn to respect each other’s space.
SENSE OF HUMOUR : They should be able to laugh together on silly things as well as laugh off silly differences which arise from time to time.
LOVE OR ROMANCE : It is important that even after decades of marriage they should be able to ignite romance in each other. It does not mean giving gifts or roses but simple things like saying same 3 words which they used often during courtship period “ I Love You. “ Or holding hands while walking.
PHYSICAL RELATIONS : These may ebb with age but are still an important part of staying together.
I think these may suffice but you all are welcome to add on more traits which I am sure will be there.