Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Bye Bye June, Welcome July

Let us bid adieu to June hot days and welcome July rains with a smile :


Wife called up her husband in office “ Darling, our car is just not starting.”
Husband, with his mind in work “ What seems to be the problem? ”
Wife “ I think there is water in the carburetor. ”
Husband “ OK, where is the car now? ”
Wife “ In our swimming pool. ”



Two cars collided at an intersection around midnight as both the drivers seemed to be in hurry to get to their destinations. Though the cars suffered extensive damage both the drivers were lucky to come out without any injury except being shell shocked. One of them, who was lawyer, looked at the cars and said “ How lucky we are to be alive. ” The other, a doctor, replied in shaken voice “ Yes, looking at the damage no one will believe we are alive.” The lawyer pulled out a bottle of whiskey from his car, unscrewed it and offered to doctor “ Let us have a swig to soothe our nerves.” The doctor took the bottle with shaking hands and took a gulp. As he offered it back, lawyer told him “ Have another good one, you seem to need it.” The doctor took one more and handed the bottle back. On seeing the lawyer putting the cap back he asked “ Are you not going to have one? ” The lawyer said “ I will wait till police arrives.”


Once a very very rich man wanted to start some charitable institution. He along with some other board members was interviewing people for CEO’s job.
He asked first candidate who was a teacher “ What is 2 plus 2 ? ” The teacher looked surprised and answered “ 4 ”.
Next candidate was a statistician. For the same question he replied “ As majority of persons in a survey would say 4, so it should be 4. ”
Next was a philosopher who after pondering over the question for a while scratching his head replied “ I think it would be somewhere between 3.9 and 4.1” .
Next was a Chartered Accountant who on hearing the question signaled them all to be quiet. He got up went to the door, peered outside, closed the door, went to window and shut it. On coming back he whispered “ What do you want it to be? ”


Liz came back home on Monday after having been away for Sunday to visit her ailing mother. On asking her 4 years old son if all was ok in her absence. He said “ Yes, dad took care of everything well and in the afternoon when I was sleeping I heard some noise in dad’s room. On peering inside I saw him and Jill aunt doing …” . At this point she told him to be quiet and tell all when she asks later. When her husband returned from work in the evening, she called the boy asking him to tell what he was saying in the morning. The boys said “ Yes, dad took care of everything well and in the afternoon when I was sleeping I heard some noise in dad’s room. On peering inside I saw him and Jill aunt doing what you did with Tom uncle when dad was away for few days.”

24 comments:

Pramoda Meduri said...

Hai... i too add my voice with u to welcome july :)

Thanks for your pretty jokes ..:):)

Keep writing..

Pramoda

Pavi!!!! said...

Ahaha! Some nice jokes there…

N oh yea…welcome july..tho it isnt goin to be monsoon where I am at.

Shruti said...

:-) heh.. great picks :-) good start to the new month :-)

Keshi said...

So is July the month of Humor? :)

Nice jokes there Jack!

LOL @til the Police arrives. typical lawyer ha!

Keshi.

Anamika. said...

If july is the month of humor, I know why I was born in this month then. :P

Good one. =))

Sakshi said...

Welcome Monsoons...!!! good laugh...!!

ash89 said...

haha... those were nice!
n yes july rains are such a welcome change

Jack said...

PRAMODA :

Thanks a lot for joining me to welcome July & rains. I feel sorry as I have not been able to do justice by visiting your space to reas as many posts as I can before I leave my comments. I will do so very soon now. Take care


PAVI :

Have a very very nice time whereever you are. Not only in July but throughout the year. Take care


SHRUTI :

May your each month not only start good but be GOOD too. Take care


KESHI :

You know how lawyers are. I normally tell my lawyer friends that they are liers. Take care


ANAMIKA :

Which date? I will try to visit your space before that if it is yet to come. And of course, e greetings. Take care


SAKSHI :

Did you take little walk in the first monsoon rain? I did and it is so nice. Take care


ASH :

Have all the fun in rains. Enjoy as much as you can. Take care

Vyshu said...

Ohh !..At the last hr of "the day when everythg went wrong " .this post is a complete breather to me now..:)

I donno Uncle..how come every time u come for my rescue thru ur timely posts:)

N nice jokes all together...

P.S Thanks uncle for ur reply..!

i can teach u ,if it is Ok for u :)

Jack said...

VYASHU :

I am glad that I could be of some help. It will be my pleasure if you can teach me how to do gmail chat. Take care

Shruti Mukundan said...

hee hee... nice jokes.. had a good laugh reading.. esply the charted accountant.. lol...

Clueless said...

Hello

So...
M back...
Well, wasn't running away from any1..however, I was going to miss a lot...
so here it is

http://loveuteddo.blogspot.com/

Tickled pink said...

hey my 1st visit here.
truly worthwhile.had a good laugh.cool jokes.enjoyed all the jokes welcoming July.
take care

Jack said...

SHRUTI :

I am so glad you liked them. Hope you read my older posts on human relations. I would like your views on those. Take care


CLUELESS :

Is it ok if I address you as this or would you prefer your name as usual? I know you are a brave and frank girl who would not run away from any adverse thing but face it with determination to overcome it. I will visit you new space if you want me to. Take care


TICKLE PINK :

May I address you by name? Thanks for your visit. I request you to read some of my older posts on human relations. I would like your views on those. I have noted your url and will visit soon.
Take care

Ellen said...

Hi Jack! There goes your funny bone at play. :-) Oh yes indeed, July is so welcome now after suffering through the heat of the past summer. We're having rains here almost every day. :-)

Best regards to you and your family.
Blessings to everybody.

Cursed♪♫ said...

Hey!!
This was cool !!!
July??? Rains??? It's burning hot here and not even a drop of rain has been seen :(
Btw, now I'm fine. No fever!! :D
Sorry for not visiting earlier.
Hope you're fine! Take care ♥♥

Pramoda Meduri said...

Hello,
How are u doing?

Plz check my view in ur "Happy married Life" post...

Will update my points on ur other posts as well..

PS: AM still awaiting your reviews on my posts...:)

Pramoda

Jack said...

ELLEN :

Thanks for your visit. I have not been able to pen down something due to lots of activities. Take care


JUHI :

Please do not neglect your health. Have schools opened? What about rains? Take care


PRAMODA :

Thanks for adding on to my points. It is real pleasure to have you here. I have been tied up with something or the other and will surely visit you soon. I am keen to read your writings. Take care

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

hey jack, harini here.. im sure you'll remember me :)

sorry for not visiting you or replying to your comments after a while... that was just because i kind of just drifted away from blogging.. but now i found me way back.. hope you accept my apology and visit me again

harini

Jack said...

HARINI :

So nice to see you here. There is no need to be sorry as everyone has right to do what one feels happy about. Surely I will visit you soon as I really enjoyed reading what you wrote. I did visit a few times but left no comments. Next time I will surely let you know I have been there.

Take care

ash89 said...

hey...u havent written for quite some time.Hope everything is good

Jack said...

Ash,

July came but hardly any rains. So upset mind. LOL. I have something serious in mind which is yet to take shape of letters. It will be presented for your views in a day or so.

Take care

Keshi said...

come and solve some riddles in my blog Jack :)

Keshi.

Vandita said...

awesome :P, the lawyer bit was the best though :)