WHY?

Some incidents which have taken place in the past few days have made me give a thought if those were avoidable or not. I am putting these here for you all to think over and give your valued opinions.

The first incident is of a very senior officer of IAF committing suicide. It was reported that he was depressed as he and his wife were staying in Chandigarh while his son was living away from them in Delhi. He was keen that his son should stay with them. The newspapers had stated that he was a highly decorated officer. It was as if to point that how such a courageous officer who won gallantry awards in wars could do this. There are two issues involved. First relates to Braveness. When you are in war there is only one thing in your mind “ It is either them or me “. So your actions are to see it is “them”. Thus braveness or courage makes you do what under normal times you may not think of. But when it comes to your own, it is just them and them as you would never think of harming them. At my age I can speak from both angles as I have seen both stages. As youngster you are looking for your own space and career. After marriage it is more complicated as the girl who leaves her parental house is also looking to set up her new HOME. Now from parents side, you spend your younger days ensuring that your child ( no matter how grown up he or she becomes you still consider them as child ) gets the best of everything. And you make a lot of sacrifices to do so. As you grow old and are in need of support – may not be financial but surely emotional, if you do not get it who do you look upon for that except your own? That is where a happy balance is to be arrived at. As parents you have to understand aspirations of your child and as son you have to understand the emotional needs of your parents. There can be or rather are circumstances where it may not be possible to live together but does it stop one from spending quality time with parents as often as possible which will make them happily sure of you being there for them? Girl also has to realize that after marriage his parents are you family. She needs to be for them as she would be for her own parents. What does she do if her brother’s wife neglects her parents? Does she not rip her apart? It is not possible to lay down set rules but it is upto both parents and youngsters to be alive to each other’s aspirations and expectations. That way they can be of support to each other happily.

Next come two incidents related to ragging. In first case parents lost their only son because of brutal beating by seniors because he refused to submit to their whims and fancies in the name of ragging in a Medical College Hostel while in the second case a girl in an Engineering College tried to commit suicide being unable to bear ragging by seniors whom she named once she was in a position to make statement. In both case the students had made their parents aware of ragging but asked them not to report as they feared it may affect continuations of their studies. I am aghast that in the case of girl the principal of that college made a statement that the girl was depressed due to not faring well in semester examination. Did anyone try to find out why did she not do well? Here I strongly believe that what is needed is someone who can interact with students in parental manner to know the pulse of what is going on. It should be in not only in hostels but all educational institutions including schools. One who can treat them as his own children. Ragging is something which we can not and should not do away with but it has to be contained within healthy limits. Would the authorities involved in both these incidents behaved in the similar manner if the student was their own child?

May I have your thoughts, please.