Shruti Mukundan had tagged me some time ago and I promised that I would take it up a s a p. As per rules of the tag one is supposed to tell 7 things about himself / herself which no one knows. Her reason of tagging me was to know my secrets. Well, if I tell what no one knows about me, would those remain secrets anymore? LOL.
Anyways here it goes –
1. I had a dream of becoming an engineer but did not want to put burden on my father, so joined NDA after Higher Secondary.
2. I believe there is nothing wrong in doing what you wish to as long as your conscience allows it and it is so hurting to see any youngster losing out on what he or she wishes to do for want of proper guidance as I had. I am always ready to help those who seem to be in need and at times go out of my way to offer so after striking rapport even having been misunderstood at times.
3. I have some principles in life with foremost being “ If you can not help someone do not harm or hurt that person unless it is in performance of your duty.”
4. I am very open and frank. I like other persons to be so. However if it is something which may hurt someone’s feelings without leading to any common good, I choose to be silent.
5. I dream of having a farmhouse in remote place close to nature with lots of fruit trees, plants and rivulet running through the place. And of course a lot of dogs too.
6. It pains me to no end when someone while seeking guidance denies an obvious fact of life. After all I have also gone through the same growing up process.
7. I am very afraid of becoming a liability in my old age so I want to depart this world in one sudden go and not after lingering around.
As per rules I am supposed to tag 7 persons but I leave it to those who wish to take it up.
Shruti, hope this meets the need.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
MISCONCEPTIONS
In my previous post I had said that how we make our lives miserable with our pre-conceived ideas. I share some real life happenings on this issue.
Gopals are our family friends. They live few houses away. Mrs Gopal and my wife exchange a lot of notes. One day I heard her telling my wife that daughters in law always look how to spoil peaceful atmosphere at home. Their only son was married a few months ago to, let us say K. This seemed a very generalized preconceived idea. She said that K was always doing things to annoy her, K insisted on going out frequently with her husband. She helped in household work as she pleased and not what Mrs Gopal wanted. She did not have much time in the morning as she had to go to office and on return she felt tired. On week ends she wanted to go out with her husband. She seemed quite agitated on this. This kind of talk went on and on for sometime. I thought of asking her to remember her newly married time and compare it with today as well as why does she not have a heart to heart talk with K to tell her what she desires. But I desisted as it would make her feel that we are against her. I had met K few times and found her to be intelligent and sensible girl. We had developed a nice rapport as uncle and niece. So I thought why not to hear her side too. A couple of days later K had come to our house for something. I called her aside and asked her how things were going. She was initially hesitant but on seeing my seriousness she opened up. She confided that she was at a loss to understand why Mrs Gopal was always cross at her. She stated that she wanted to be a responsible member of family but found it difficult due to being denied proper guidance and her initiatives were snubed by her mother in law. This she said made her frustrated which in turn caused friction with her husband. I am sure you all will agree with me here that due to preconceived ideas Mrs Gopal not only made her life miserable but that of her son and K too. I advised K to speak to her mother in law at a suitable time telling her that she is the one who is her role model and would like to learn a lot from her so as to make a model happy family. I also told her to tell her difficulties as a working girl vis-à-vis home chores. I told her to choose her own time and words. She understood and agreed. A few days later she told me that she had spoken to her mother in law and was astonished at the misconceptions Mrs Gopal had about her. She thanked me that all misunderstandings were resolved. A fortnight or so later I overheard Mrs Gopal praising K to my wife.
The other incident is of a company where I worked. Though I was GM but I had an open approach with my office mates. A lot of persons from other departments used to speak to me about their woes. One such person, let us say B, was convinced that his boss did not like him and was making his life miserable. On my cajoling he said that he kept getting all the difficult tasks and hardly had any breathing space. Even on holidays he was called to office to do something or the other which was said to be important and urgent. He seemed to be at break down point. On my asking if he had ever spoken to his boss on this, he said that knowing him it was just impossible. I knew his boss to be a task master but was good at heart. However he hardly praised anyone from his staff. We had a tradition that in rotation we used to have cup of coffee or tea with other department heads and discuss company matters in general. In one such meeting with his boss, I asked him in casual way as to whom did he trust most in his department. Without even a fraction of second’s hesitation he named B. I asked him had he ever given pat to B for this. On his negative reply I told him that such an act would go a long way in boosting morale of his staff. In a couple of days I saw B moving about very relaxed with smile on his face. He told me that he never imagined that his boss depended on him so much.
What I wanted to bring out was that one should never have preconceived ideas and if there is any difficulty one should have open frank two way communication with concerned person.
Gopals are our family friends. They live few houses away. Mrs Gopal and my wife exchange a lot of notes. One day I heard her telling my wife that daughters in law always look how to spoil peaceful atmosphere at home. Their only son was married a few months ago to, let us say K. This seemed a very generalized preconceived idea. She said that K was always doing things to annoy her, K insisted on going out frequently with her husband. She helped in household work as she pleased and not what Mrs Gopal wanted. She did not have much time in the morning as she had to go to office and on return she felt tired. On week ends she wanted to go out with her husband. She seemed quite agitated on this. This kind of talk went on and on for sometime. I thought of asking her to remember her newly married time and compare it with today as well as why does she not have a heart to heart talk with K to tell her what she desires. But I desisted as it would make her feel that we are against her. I had met K few times and found her to be intelligent and sensible girl. We had developed a nice rapport as uncle and niece. So I thought why not to hear her side too. A couple of days later K had come to our house for something. I called her aside and asked her how things were going. She was initially hesitant but on seeing my seriousness she opened up. She confided that she was at a loss to understand why Mrs Gopal was always cross at her. She stated that she wanted to be a responsible member of family but found it difficult due to being denied proper guidance and her initiatives were snubed by her mother in law. This she said made her frustrated which in turn caused friction with her husband. I am sure you all will agree with me here that due to preconceived ideas Mrs Gopal not only made her life miserable but that of her son and K too. I advised K to speak to her mother in law at a suitable time telling her that she is the one who is her role model and would like to learn a lot from her so as to make a model happy family. I also told her to tell her difficulties as a working girl vis-à-vis home chores. I told her to choose her own time and words. She understood and agreed. A few days later she told me that she had spoken to her mother in law and was astonished at the misconceptions Mrs Gopal had about her. She thanked me that all misunderstandings were resolved. A fortnight or so later I overheard Mrs Gopal praising K to my wife.
The other incident is of a company where I worked. Though I was GM but I had an open approach with my office mates. A lot of persons from other departments used to speak to me about their woes. One such person, let us say B, was convinced that his boss did not like him and was making his life miserable. On my cajoling he said that he kept getting all the difficult tasks and hardly had any breathing space. Even on holidays he was called to office to do something or the other which was said to be important and urgent. He seemed to be at break down point. On my asking if he had ever spoken to his boss on this, he said that knowing him it was just impossible. I knew his boss to be a task master but was good at heart. However he hardly praised anyone from his staff. We had a tradition that in rotation we used to have cup of coffee or tea with other department heads and discuss company matters in general. In one such meeting with his boss, I asked him in casual way as to whom did he trust most in his department. Without even a fraction of second’s hesitation he named B. I asked him had he ever given pat to B for this. On his negative reply I told him that such an act would go a long way in boosting morale of his staff. In a couple of days I saw B moving about very relaxed with smile on his face. He told me that he never imagined that his boss depended on him so much.
What I wanted to bring out was that one should never have preconceived ideas and if there is any difficulty one should have open frank two way communication with concerned person.
Monday, January 18, 2010
BACK
During this forced leave till the internet was connected I thought that I will be able to write number of posts as there are so many thoughts to share with you all but though we settled down in a couple of days as we had shifted within the same locality so there was no hassle of finding sources for daily need items, I still have not been able to find my writing mind which seems to have been left behind in the old house or may be it is yet to thaw in this biting cold. And there is so much to catch up with what you all have posted. May be my age is playing up as it is taking time for me to visit you all. Kindly do bear with me a little more. As it is I am so overwhelmed with affection shown by you all, so do pardon me for little more time.
Till I really get back, here is something to bring smile to you :
A newly married man told his wife that when he leaves for office in the morning he sees their neighbor also leaving at the same time and kissing his wife. His wife said with lot of expectation “ Why don’t you do the same.” He said “ I do not know her well enough.”
Two misers were indulging in one upmanship. One said he saved 50% when he went on honeymoon. “How” the other asked. He said “ I went alone.” The other laughed and said he saved 100% as he sent his wife with a friend.
Well, jokes apart lately I have been thinking how we make our lives miserable with our pre-conceived ideas. Soon I will share some live examples with you.
Till I really get back, here is something to bring smile to you :
A newly married man told his wife that when he leaves for office in the morning he sees their neighbor also leaving at the same time and kissing his wife. His wife said with lot of expectation “ Why don’t you do the same.” He said “ I do not know her well enough.”
Two misers were indulging in one upmanship. One said he saved 50% when he went on honeymoon. “How” the other asked. He said “ I went alone.” The other laughed and said he saved 100% as he sent his wife with a friend.
Well, jokes apart lately I have been thinking how we make our lives miserable with our pre-conceived ideas. Soon I will share some live examples with you.
Friday, January 1, 2010
LEAVE
Let me wish you all A VERY HAPPY 2010. MAY THIS YEAR BRING YOU WHATEVER YOU WISH FOR.
We are shifting our residence. I will thus be on forced leave from here for a few days.
We are shifting our residence. I will thus be on forced leave from here for a few days.
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