Monday, July 27, 2009


These two are old posts which I had put up at my o3 space. I am reproducing these here with updates for your views.

Who am I?
When I retruned from office on a Saturday evening I told my family that next day I am taking them out for lunch to celebrate my promotion. All of them were very happy and eager to go out next day. We had dinner and as usual I took dogs for walk before going to bed at about 10:30 pm. While drifting off to sleep I was thinking of where to go and what all to order. I went to sleep in happy mode. It was at about 3 am that I felt little uneasy and in the next 3 hours I visited toilet at least 5 times to be sick or clear upset tummy each time. It was food poisoning. By morning I was so down that I could not get out of bed. I just lay there the whole day floating between disturbed sleep or dazed wakefulness. I could not bring myself to take anything even water. It was during this state my mind kept asking me WHO AM I? Not in filmy style “ Mein kaun hoon or mein kahan hoon” but in reality. Ok, I as per my own thinking am an important cog in the wheel called family or even organisation I work for but can I control my own time? Can I do what I plan? The answer was NO. I realized that there is someone who is much stronger than me which controls my moments. We may call it Force or Nature. This is what makes things happen in my life or for that matter in anyone’s life. I remembered an incident which happened years ago. On a Sunday lot of visitors had gone to Qutab Minar to have an outing. Those days it was allowed to go up the Minar. There were a lot of persons who were going up or coming down the stairs. At that time some reckless prankster shouted “ Saanp, Saanp ( Snake, Snake ) ”. There was a melee and in that stampede few lives were lost and many more injured. Now is it not that Force or Nature which brought them there that day? Some of you may say it was their destiny. But what made that destiny? Is it not that Force or Nature? We define this Force or Nature as God and call it by different names. We offer prayers in different ways to God we believe in. While we pray in our manner we also tend to look down upon those who do so differently. Do we have right to do so? Is that Force or Nature whom we refer as God in our own ways not only ONE but worshipped in many different ways? I realized that I am nothing but a mere speck on the big canvas called Universe. If all of us specks are in harmony it is a BEAUTIFUL PICTURE but if we are not so then it is a BIG UGLY JUMBLE OF SPECKS. I realized that as a speck who wants to be a part of BEAUTIFUL PICTURE it is my duty to spread love and tolerance to other specks around me. I felt that those who spread hatred or spit fire for killing actually are those who are unsure of themselves, are not confident about the way they pray, do not see the God they believe in as actual reality. Does God , no matter how or in what way we pray, ever tell us to hate someone or kill someone in God’s name? Should we all not answer this question honestly - “WHO AM I?”

This may be called a sequel to my last post. We all have egos. Some of us can control it and some let it control us. Those who fall in the later category believe in their larger than life image as per their perception. They feel nothing can go against their wishes or dictats. What happens when their egos get pricked? They go beyond reasoning. Two recent news items come to my mind. Not casting aspertions on anyone I just wish that we all try and understand what happened or could have happened. First is that Kolkata case involving a rich businessman and second is Hyderabad case of famous filmstar. In both these cases the main persons were so involved in pursueing their passion boosted by their egos, one for making money and other to retain his fame, that they had no time to interact with their children as fathers. If they had been close to them, they would have known what is in store. So when what happened happened their egos were pricked? So what is the result? Events that followed point to erratic behavior on their part. Fortunately second case finally had amicably ending.


Anonymous said...

Jack ,

Every time when something Good/Bad happens which is not in my control i answered myself that its all my destiny.Later,when i grow up I cud able to believe that there is some unknown energy thats leading Us that iam not very sure.

Few days back i had a bad dream reg my papa..To my panic, he met with an accident in my dream..I woke up and all in tears prayed for sometime.

Same day papa really met with an accident exactly the same way ..Only after 3 days i was informed and was speechless when i heard it.
It was supposed to be a miserable one,but he escaped with minor wounds..Many times i thanked God..
Some power conveyed it thru a dream i felt..

I was very happy,thought my prayers were answered.My mom said she was in temple the same it happened and her belief got doubled.Relatives said its fate and luck ..!

***We may call it Force or Nature.

Its so true..My final conclusion is Nature tries to convey us everything..

**I realized that as a speck who wants to be a part of BEAUTIFUL PICTURE it is my duty to spread love and tolerance to other specks around me.

So nice of you ..:)

And,you bring out a good message and an enlightening thought through this post ..Yes God/Nature whom we strongly believe in never tell us to hate others..

really food for thought..!Thanks for sharing this..


It is always a good practice control egos consciously.Nice one again ..!

Jack,Whos that Hyderabad film star ? i cudnt guess right now..


♥ ♥ Appie Happie ♥ ♥ said...

You posted.
Nice post.
"MAI KAHA HU" was funny
U might have read, I was really sick once, stomach infection and all, It was my friend's bday,
And I felt the same,
I was waiting for his bday since a month,
we planned dozen of things.
But NONE WORKED,as i was hospitalised. And it happened for good. Not for me. But for his gf. but thats another story.
So, that made be learn that never PRE-PLAN, everything happens with the approval of the SUPREME POWER.
I am shamelessly a very egoistic person,there are certain aspects, i Regret being one.
My ego sometimes overcome me though when it comes to my near ones- NOT THEN.
However, otherwise it does and it comes along with many setbacks. :(

Keshi said...

A great post Jack.

On the first one...

**but can I control my own time?

I so agree..NO ONE CAN DO THAT. Who am I is a grt qn to ask ourselves and it will make us realise that the best we can do is spread love as much as we can, while we CAN.

On the 2nd one...

Our Ego is a huge distraction to many of us. It is good to hv a tamed n balanced that does not override LOVE and one that does not underestimate ur capabilities.


Vandita said...

Who am I?
You're right abt everything eventually boiling down to the coming together of the forces of nature to make things happen in the way they do. We can't control our lives completely but that doesn't mean that we give up planning entirely.

I hate the sound of that word, honestly. As far as I know myself, I'm not an egoist person and I'm really happy about that.

Girl Next Door said...

Very well written :) .. you left me speechless thinking: Who Am I?

Keep Penning...

Rach said...

wow! Awesome post!
I learn a lot of things from your posts. :)

PS: New post!

Pramoda Meduri said...

Hai Jack,

Truly, There is very much in this post to think.. Thanks for the delicious food...:)

I would love and believe to say that there is some thing which is not in our control, rather than saying that there is some thing that is controlling us.. May be its my way.

Anyways.. very much valid qsn, WHO AM I?...

**I felt that those who spread hatred or spit fire for killing actually are those who are unsure of themselves, are not confident about the way they pray, do not see the God they believe in as actual reality.

So true... the prayer should be the one which would stabilize one's emotions, if it is not.. then the rest is just life.. it happens..

I agree with u, we must be honesty enough to ask ourselves..WHI AM I?

Soo well said :)


wanna tell u, i read one line recently. I do not remember whr i read says... It is better to loose yur ego for the person u love, than to loose the person you love for your ego..

I'm not sure whther i have reproduced it correctly or not, but the meaning says it all..

EGO is a state of mind where every thing else looks small but still valuable, but once the state is being analysed, then we feel every thing as worthwhile and invaluable...

Jack, Once again let me tell u.. Very nice post and Thanks for the delicious food for thought..:)

Keep expressing...

Jack said...


It is so nice of you to be so supportive. How is your father now? Wishing him a speedy full recovery. That famous person was Chiranjeevi. Take care


So you know first hand that we may plan anything but it is not foolproof. How is your stomach now? Be careful. Ego is fine as long as you can control it. Be proud but not vain. Take care


I agree that we should be humble and polite but not at the cost of being trodden upon. Be proud but not vain. Take care


I am so overwhelmed that you took time to read so many post and give your views too. Thanks a lot. I agree that we may not be in control of our destiny but this does not debar us from making all efforts. As far as ego goes, one should know the difference between pride and vanity. Take care

G N D :

Now I am speechless with such supportive comments. It would be very nice of you to give your views on my older posts, particularly those dealing with human relations. Take care


It is so sweet of you to say this. If I can ever be of help to you, please do not hesitate to ask. Take care


I agree that few things may not be within our control and prayers are to make your calm with self realisation. Very true about loved one and ego. I would put it this way it is better to overcome your ego to have harmonious relations but not at the cost of being trodden upon. Take care

Blue Moon said...

Hello! Sir,

I visited your blog for the first time, Your post is very nice.
Really, the post leads to contemplation on the Question: WHO AM I?

A very well-written post. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

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I’ll be eagerly waiting for your response……………

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Good luck for next posts………….

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Keep Smiling……!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...


I have sent a mail .Pls confirm..:)

preeti said...

I believe anything that we do is good, the force is positive, else it is negative. this force is god in worldly terms. nice one Jack :)

Jack said...


Welcome to my space. Thanks for such supportive comments. Please do read my older posts too and do let me have you views on those. I will visit you soon. Take care


I have got it. Thanks for forwarding such a meaningful message alongwith that. I will reply later. Take care


Welcome to my space. Hope you have read my older posts too. Take care

Librangirl said...

Nicely written post.
How u doing ?

Jack said...

L G,

So nice to see you here. I wonder if you have gone through my older posts. Kindlly do so, if not done and your views will be most appreciated.

Take care

Pramoda Meduri said...

Hai Jack,

Wish U a happy friendship day...

Pramoda Meduri said...


Thanks alott for the nice card..:)
I liked it..Thank you very much and once again Happy friendship day..

Jack said...


Thanks. I am glad you liked it. You are most welcome.

Take care

Ellen said...

Hello Jack,

Nuggets of wisdom and food for thought --- that's what your interesting piece contains.

That's a good question you have posted. Takes some serious soul searching indeed.

Do we really know who we are? Aside from the diverse roles we take on in life as father, mother, son, daughter, friend, foe, boss, worker, et al.. do we really know who we are. Apparently we are not that always that person we show to the outside world.. but rather we are that silent person inside ourselves which often the world does not truly see nor comprehend. A human being is a complex being; sometimes what you see is not what you get. 'There is more to the person that meets the eye' ... as mom would say.

Blessed is the man who knows himself well and charts his life course with what he is allowed to do while paying serious attention to the guidance of his Divine Master. Man plans -- God decides. What is beyond our control -- is God's control.

Is the word Ego described as...

1: an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others [syn: {egotism}, {self-importance}]

2: your consciousness of your own identity [syn: {self}]

3: (psychoanalysis) the conscious mind

Ah! so it means, in any language, an 'inflated self'. Not very flattering, don't you think so? It certainly and dangerously runs the course of 'pride'.

'Whomsoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make proud.' or something like that in greek mythology. And there is that other story of Narcissus who admired himself egotistically to 'death'.

Jack, it's a nice way to write -- nudging people to think... move them to arrive at some insights or reflection. You may have managed in your own way to change somebody's perception of self, life, people, and the world.

Thank you for sharing your insights and for the pleasure of reading this interesting piece.


Mystique said...

Who am I? it's a rather tough question to answer at the best of times.

You are, i guess, who you want to be.

Jack said...


Thanks for such nice informative comments. It is always a pleasure to read you in your space or here. Take care


True, you are what you want to be but do we all have control over it? Don't we number of times do something entirely different than what we wanted to? Take care

♥ ♥ ℓỌvεšιcк ° ♥ ♥ said...

whr hav u been?
take care...i hope u ok..!!

Girl Next Door said...

Very Well Written Jack !!!

Yeah we really need to do self analysis sometimes. It really helps.

And yeah, thank you for your best wishes :)

Dishita said...

Quick question: what do you answer yourself, if at all, when you find yourself awake with "who am I"?

Yep, being scientifically educated I was made to believe everything has energy associated with it and that energy is nothing but God.

Ego :) Its like shaadi ka ladoo