YOUR VIEWS, PLEASE.

Some of the news items in the recent past have made me wonder if we are really in 21^st century where equality of gender is a norm and not at the mercy of those in position of some power, where those in such position of power rather inculcate sense of gender equality without any bias than to take shelter behind issuing medieval dictates.

A week or so ago it was reported that a State Government has transferred 800 male teachers from girls schools. Does it not show the mindset of those in power? Have they not accepted their incapability of ensuring that no untoward incidents of gender harassment take place by inculcating right sense of values as well as meting out exemplary punishments on those found guilty? Next there may be creation of only women villages or localities.

I am all for meting out justice at root level, like Panchayats but it must be without any gender bias. A so called Community Panchayat in Bengal first ensured as prelude to what happened later by imposing fine of Rs 50, 000 on a poor family for their girl talking to a man outside their community knowing very well that the family is not in a position to pay such sum thus leading to that poor girl being gang raped on “legal” order. What are our so called elected representatives doing for this shameful act? Or they are just silent due to vote bank considerations? Or they deny it as not having taken place under their governance?

Today’s news – A girl was paraded in the village with shoes loaded on her head for not obeying dictate of Panchayat. She is married but living away from husband. She was being harassed by some local youths who wanted her to have physical relations with them. On not being able to bear such sexual unwanted harassment, she approached the said Panchayat which ordered her to compromise with those errant persons rather than taking action against them showing clear gender bias. When she did not get desired and justified support from them she approached police and this is what she was punished for. Does it not show that the said Panchayat members wanted her to be a whore with those young men? What are our elected representatives going to do about it? NOTHING, if I am not mistaken as they will be in denial mode.

There are numerous instances of Khap Panchayats issuing dictates for girls -what to wear and what not to , what hours to go out of house  unaccompanied by male escorts if allowed to go out at all, not to have mobile phones, upto what class a girl should be allowed to have education if at all and the list is inexhaustive. Does this not show their mindset of gender bias as instead of ensuring that males give due respect to females by teaching them right sense of values and penalizing ones who default in exemplary ways? And the best is that a Chief Minister of state backs all such Panchayats.  Is it not vote begging gesture?

I also am all for such fast justice mechanisms at root level but WITHOUT ANY GENDER DISCRIMINATION. How will such Panchayat members react if an all women Panchayat issues dictate to chop off P*****s of all young males as they are potential rapists?   

And the worst is that majority of women who can do a lot are passive spectators if not supporters of such dictates.  

May I invite your views, please?

DO WE KNOW WHAT FUTURE HOLDS FOR US?

It was in October 2008 that I wrote post - Loneliness At Old Age. In that I had brought out about life of old couples when their grown up children fly off the nest to another city or country to pursue their own careers thus letting old couples live alone, may be with own choice or otherwise. Least I could foresee at that time that we may be one such couple five years later.

Our son left for Canada in mid Dec 2013 as his organization offered him placement there. His wife and daughter also joined him there in the last week of January, though his wife being here was not much of company for us. That is another sad part which I shall briefly share later. Our daughter stays in Delhi but in another locality. She and her children visit us as per their convenience and we do not interfere in their life. I had told her when she left us after marriage that though we are there for her but that is her new family where she has to make her place with love and affection. So basically it is we two oldies who are in each other’s company now.  

Coming to what I said about our daughter in law, we let our son and her settle down with each other. Though we lived together, which was told to her by me as well as our son before marriage so she could say no if she so wanted to, but never interfered in their relations except just a couple of times in eight years of their marriage and that too to ensure that there was no violence. On the contrary her father seemed to take active interest in their affairs. She had a habit of going to her father’s place often whenever she had any difference with our son. Of these, her longest stays there had been twice, a year in the fourth year of their marriage and a year & half before leaving for Canada.

In the first instant she joined us back the day we shifted from the locality we were staying in to the one where her parents stay.  Later we learnt that she had told our son that she would not come back to the locality we stayed in as our daughter too stayed there and her children ( 7 years old daughter and 3 years old son at that time ) alongwith their maid used to be with us after school for few hours till they left for park to play from where they went home.

On the second instant she left for her father’s place after some differences with husband. She told us that she needs a break and would be back in a week or ten days but did not return. We had advised our son to sort it out but he was initially reluctant saying that he had told her if she went to her father’s place again he would not ask her to return. However after a couple of days he spoke to her asking her to return but she did not. It was only after 3 months or so that she told our son that she would join him only if he separates out from us. She insisted that he take a house close to her parents so the little one could go to their place after school. We advised him to do so for the sake of little girl. We left it to our son to sort it out. It was only about  4 months ago when our son got this offer of going to Canada that she started visiting on weekends as she was keen to go with him. She continued staying with her father even after our son had left and visited us off & on till she left.

We missed our granddaughter on both these occasions. I had met her father a few times during first couple of months in the first instant but he did not show any keenness for her to return. On second instant, without our son’s knowledge, I met him a month after she had gone to see if we could sort it out but he made very derogatory remarks about our son that I made me not to speak to him thereafter.

It appears that our son had not been keen to separate from us while being here as he feared interference of her father. So he waited for this offer.

Our son wanted us also to go with him but we declined as we are keen to let them settle down. Though we do feel lonely but are happy that they are together and little one has love of both parents. We have spoken on Skype and little one seemed so happy to be there. We wish them to have a happy married life. We do not intend being there with them inspite of our son asking us repeatedly. We pray to God that all goes well now onwards.  

So we are in the band of old couples staying alone at their own due to own choice.     

HAPPY NEW YEAR

May you all have a very very wonderful 2014.
May all your dreams come true.
May God fulfill all your wishes.
May there be peace all around. 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

As per news a state government is accused of putting a young lady under surveillance. Whether it was with her knowledge or not is not I will discuss but it is reported that her father has stated that he had requested Chief Minister for it as he was close to him. It is a fact that we all make use of our contacts for something or the other we wish to do. It is also reported that government stand now is that it provided security to her on her father’s request. There is nothing incorrect about it but what I would like to know is that who had foot the expenses needed for such surveillance or provision of security – did the father pay for it or was it misuse of taxpayer’s money? If it is later then in all fairness the concerned bigwigs should take responsibility and face consequences. The public has right to know.

A young law graduate lady is reported to have said that a recently retired judge under whom she had done internship had indulged in unbecoming behavior. What pains me is not only such act of a custodian of law, if true but also why did she wait for so long before bringing it out. She should have reported it as soon as it occurred without any fear of her career as I am sure it would not have been jeopardized. Why should a girl bear with such degrading behavior just for the fear of career? This act of silence encourages such persons to victimize more hapless girls.

Coming to reported physical assault on a young lady reporter by one of seniors whom she had full faith in - When will girls learn to defend themselves under such circumstances? She should have given him a kick on his face with her knee when he bent down to do what he is supposed to have done or she should have kicked him in groin or she should have bitten his ear off. She should have started banging the lift door as her hands were free which would have attracted a lot of attention and also would have deterred the alleged culprit from doing what he did.

It will take ages to make desired changes in thinking of men towards girls which again is due to our own folly but that should not stop any girl to be brave and not get scared under such situations.  

Do you think my thoughts are right? 

PHYSICAL STRESS Vs MENTAL STRESS

For the past couple of months this has been going on in my mind as to what affects a person more - physical stress or mental stress. I gave this a considerable thought as I face both. I have shared about my physical stress here, though not a very major one but it is still something I have to live with. Some of you may understand the cause of my mental stress as in a sudden urge to let it off my mind I wrote a brief post on that long ago.  What I think is shared in this post.  

There is no doubt that physical stress causes a lot of unhappiness which at times may also lead a person to contemplate suicide. After a lot of thinking I feel that if one has positive attitude thus being mentally prepared to accept whatever physical drawback it be, one can not only be happy but attain what one sets eyes on. There are numerous examples of persons who are physically challenged having achieved feats which a fully fit person may find difficult. Thus a positive attitude and mental preparedness to accept  physical stress leads a person to live happily doing whatever he or she wishes to.

Now let us have a look at mental stress. We all know that mind travels at an astonishing speed. You may give a thought to your own experience. One may be thinking of something and suddenly mind may traverse to something entirely different with no relation to what was in mind. One may be totally physically fit but if there is any mental stress, no matter how much one tries to be positive or divert mind but it will stray back to the cause of such stress without any warning making one think about it thus aggravating the stress. This is experienced personally by me as inspite of making all efforts to divert my mind, it does stray back.

What do you say on this?      

HAPPY DIWALI

MAY ALL YOUR WISHES BE FULFILLED.

THE LAW OF GARBAGE TRUCK

I read this a few minutes ago and felt that I must share it with you. So here it is and what I was planning to post today can wait.
 
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally, just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! Have a blessed, garbage-free day!