Rinki is a dear niece of mine. Her father, Dilip is my first cousin. She has a brother younger by 3 years. I have seen her growing right from her birth. We live in the same city but in different localities, a little distance from each other. We visit each other at least once a month if not more. She is very charming girl and had been good in studies as well as other extracurricular activities. She represented school as well as college in basket ball and was in university badminton team.
After she completed her graduation she showed keenness to take up a job while pursuing MBA in HR. Dilip was keen to marry her off but I sided with her saying that 20 is too early for marriage. He reluctantly agreed. She came out with flying colours in MBA. This lead to her being offered a job in a big MNC. Another year passed before Dilip brought up marriage. He started looking out for a suitable match. I suggested that he ask Rinki if she has anyone in mind. He stated that it was just not possible. But on my insisting, he did ask her in my presence. She replied in negative but I could make out that it was more out of her fear of father than truth. So I cajoled her saying that she had been working for over 3 years and surely she must have met a lot of people, adding that it is just normal for young boys or girls to like each other. She reluctantly told that she did have affinity towards a youngman in her organization who was in another department and senior to her. She confirmed that he too liked her and had introduced her to his parents. Dilip was taken aback and blew his top as the said boy was from different caste. Rinki went off to her room in tears. For over an hour I tried to make him see reason with logic but though he did not counter me but did not relent also. I learnt that Rinki had withdrawn into her shell.
About 10 days later he called us for lunch next day which was Sunday adding that a family was coming to see Rinki alongwith their son. On reaching there we found tension in the air. Dilip was usual self while his wife, Rinki and her brother were in sullen mood. On getting an opportunity Rinki told me that she would ensure that she is not liked by that family. On my asking she said she would look at them with cock eyed way and behave dumb generally. I advised her not to do so but we can sort it out later and she can say no.
That family arrived around 6 in the evening. Apart from the boy and his parents, his younger sister was also there. After normal hello hello we settled down in the drawing room and Dilip asked his wife to call Rinki who was in her room. I was waiting with bated breath. As she entered with sullen look her jaw dropped open on seeing the boy and his parents. That is when Dilip along with boy and his parents broke into loud laughter. His sister too joined in on seeing Rinki. He was the same boy whom Rinki liked.
Later Dilip told me that after I had left that day, he thought about the whole thing keeping my logic in mind. He said that he realized that happiness of his daughter was far more important than casteism. And he also was sure that Rinki’s choice would not be bad. So he arranged to meet the boy after a couple of days. He found him to be much beyond his expectations. Thereafter he met his parents and fixed up this meeting. He had asked his parents to keep it to themselves and not to tell anyone, specially Rinki. He had made the boy a conspirator in the first meeting itself. Best part is that he kept me also in total dark till then.
She has been married for more than 2 years now and is expecting their first child sometime in end March or early April next year.
PS : I had a serious post in mind but keeping the festival season in view I decided to share something which would bring smile to you all.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
DUTY TOWARDS SOCIETY
It has been over a month now that I got to my space from my home PC. It was made alright yesterday but then our internet connection went on to give trouble. That got fixed today. So here I am trying to write some of my thoughts which have been in my mind during this break.
We all take so much from society in our growing period or even later and many of us do feel like paying our debt, specially at the fag end of life when all our worldly duties are done.
There are lot many NGOs in this field with varied agendas of social welfare. Many of these are started or run by those who wish to do pay their debt to the society. Many a corporates too have opened separate organizations to do something for the wellbeing of society. While some of them have done so out of compulsion of Corporate Social Responsibility but there are lot many who have done it with genuine desire. Having been associated with NGO I have had a ring side view of what goes on. I am going to share with you some of the issues which make me happy as well as sad.
Our Government on it’s part has many schemes for wellbeing of downtrodden or backward with a huge amount earmarked for each. But unfortunately as stated by our late PM Rajiv Gandhi, it is only a miniscule part of that fund which actually reaches the end beneficiaries. It is so painful to see pockets of unscrupulous persons being filled. The only solution in my mind is that for implementation of these schemes Government must involve those at grass root level for selection of right agency or NGO to carry out the work and give funds to those who are under the scrutiny of and held accountable by the beneficiaries. This may take a lot of hard work for BABUs to do so but possible it is definitely.
Now let me say something about NGOs. Everyone is not Vinobha Bhave, Baba Amte or Mother Terresa. Those running NGOs also need to have their own needs met. It has thus become more of a business for most of them, even family business for some. This is not so bad as long as the main aim is kept alive and their needs are not luxuries. Unfortunately in many cases the main goal is on deferred priority and other aspects take more importance, like getting mileage politically or making inroads into social networking etc. Most of those who are running such organizations become less open minded to suggestions as well as do not like to join hands with other NGOs in the same field for sake of one upmanship and unnecessary duplication adversely affecting the gains for beneficiaries. Solution to this lies only in if people involved are true to their commitments alongwith little overseeing of these organizations by some agency set up by the Government.
This now brings me to the last set of players in social upliftment. The corporates or business houses. Bill Gates, Premji, Narayanamurthy, Ambanis, Tatas, Nilakeni, Bharati, PVR Cinemas are some names which crop up in my mind. Those in the helm of affairs in such corporates are keen from their heart to do something for less privileged but unfortunately the ones who are entrusted to do such acts on their behalf become more bureaucratic and kill good suggestions offered by those in the field. The mindset of many such persons is that they are doing the best and others are not even worth listening to. There have been headlines in news that some of big business houses have made huge donations to the alma mater of their founders or chairmen. It is a nice gesture but one needs to think do such recipients really need such donations. In a case it was with setting up of chair in the alma mater named after founder of donor organization. Don’t you think such funds could have been better utilized for providing basic education and other amenities to those in backward rural inaccessible areas?
In my opinion one should not indulge in charity like giving alms but provide or support facilities making the needy self-reliant.
We all take so much from society in our growing period or even later and many of us do feel like paying our debt, specially at the fag end of life when all our worldly duties are done.
There are lot many NGOs in this field with varied agendas of social welfare. Many of these are started or run by those who wish to do pay their debt to the society. Many a corporates too have opened separate organizations to do something for the wellbeing of society. While some of them have done so out of compulsion of Corporate Social Responsibility but there are lot many who have done it with genuine desire. Having been associated with NGO I have had a ring side view of what goes on. I am going to share with you some of the issues which make me happy as well as sad.
Our Government on it’s part has many schemes for wellbeing of downtrodden or backward with a huge amount earmarked for each. But unfortunately as stated by our late PM Rajiv Gandhi, it is only a miniscule part of that fund which actually reaches the end beneficiaries. It is so painful to see pockets of unscrupulous persons being filled. The only solution in my mind is that for implementation of these schemes Government must involve those at grass root level for selection of right agency or NGO to carry out the work and give funds to those who are under the scrutiny of and held accountable by the beneficiaries. This may take a lot of hard work for BABUs to do so but possible it is definitely.
Now let me say something about NGOs. Everyone is not Vinobha Bhave, Baba Amte or Mother Terresa. Those running NGOs also need to have their own needs met. It has thus become more of a business for most of them, even family business for some. This is not so bad as long as the main aim is kept alive and their needs are not luxuries. Unfortunately in many cases the main goal is on deferred priority and other aspects take more importance, like getting mileage politically or making inroads into social networking etc. Most of those who are running such organizations become less open minded to suggestions as well as do not like to join hands with other NGOs in the same field for sake of one upmanship and unnecessary duplication adversely affecting the gains for beneficiaries. Solution to this lies only in if people involved are true to their commitments alongwith little overseeing of these organizations by some agency set up by the Government.
This now brings me to the last set of players in social upliftment. The corporates or business houses. Bill Gates, Premji, Narayanamurthy, Ambanis, Tatas, Nilakeni, Bharati, PVR Cinemas are some names which crop up in my mind. Those in the helm of affairs in such corporates are keen from their heart to do something for less privileged but unfortunately the ones who are entrusted to do such acts on their behalf become more bureaucratic and kill good suggestions offered by those in the field. The mindset of many such persons is that they are doing the best and others are not even worth listening to. There have been headlines in news that some of big business houses have made huge donations to the alma mater of their founders or chairmen. It is a nice gesture but one needs to think do such recipients really need such donations. In a case it was with setting up of chair in the alma mater named after founder of donor organization. Don’t you think such funds could have been better utilized for providing basic education and other amenities to those in backward rural inaccessible areas?
In my opinion one should not indulge in charity like giving alms but provide or support facilities making the needy self-reliant.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
FORCED BREAK
My PC at home has gone KAPUT. As told by service engineer, it is hard disc problem and it will be another 15 to 20 days before it is made OK. Till then I am on forced break with heavy heart. This I am sending from my old office. I will try to visit whenever I can but can not promise.
May you all have good time and hope to meet you all soon.
May you all have good time and hope to meet you all soon.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
CHANGES TIME BRINGS
Today on turning 65, I reflected upon the changes social norms have undergone which I am a witness to and the impacts thereof. Changes are a must for a society to remain vibrant but it is the misuse of such changes which defeat the purpose. I have read views of a couple of young ladies on touchy but important issues of relationships and that has acted as catalytic agent to make me write this. Recently I visited space of Restless and read what she wrote about Live In and Bad Marriages. This made me decide not to lose any more time and put my thoughts across.
Let me start with Love. Love is of many hues, like between parents & children, siblings, relatives, friends to name a few. What I will take up here is Love between two persons, generally of different genders and unrelated. There is no secret that there is attraction between genders. It is from times immemorial. Let me give examples starting with Dushyant and Shakuntla and then coming to recent times of Romeo & Juliet, Shirin & Farhad, Sassi & Pannu and Laila & Majnu. But in olden days it was not widely prevalent as opportunities of interaction between persons of opposite gender was not so common. There were few instances of Love Marriages. As the time passed there were more opportunities as girls started taking up higher as well as professional education. They also had more opportunities to go for jobs in or outside hometown increasing interaction between opposite genders. Thus it is natural for two persons who are attracted and like each other to fall in love and parents need to open their mind to let children have space. This brings us to point where I can say with conviction that when two persons are in such relationship, there is bound to be certain amount of physicality. In my younger days it was close hugs and stolen kisses. Of course there were those who went for more but that was not so common due to lack of opportunity. This brings us to question of pre-marital sex. May I pose a question to all of you, specially males, why is it accepted if a boy has sex with a girl but she is the one who is castigated? Is she not a human being with normal urges? In olden days too there were a lot of instances where cousins had indulged in physical relations as interaction with outsiders was restricted. In some cases it resulted in Forced Marriages if customs permitted. I feel it is upto individual to set limits and to go this far & not farther. But after marriage both boy and the girl should keep trust intact. I do not advocate promiscuity but if it is discreet with those in Love, others should not raise fingers. I have only one Thumb Rule for this which I told both our children, daughter and son, once they were off age “ Follow your conscience and never do something which makes you hang your head in shame later.”
Let us now see Live In relations. If two persons are in love but are not yet in a position to marry, here I must say that marriage is definitely ultimate aim in Love, they may decide to live together depending upon circumstances. Here comes a point which Restless has raised very pertinently , what is the status of children born out of this relationship? Specially if parents do not get married ultimately. Other drawback is what about those who just wish to do so because of LUST? Mostly boys. I know there is Court ruling that those who are in Live In relationship for a reasonable period are to be treated as married couple but such period is not quantified. What happens if boy after having had his fun for let us say a few months walks out? I always say it is unfortunately it is the girl who is at the receiving end. So GIRLS before you decide to go for Live In relationship, do apply your mind fully.
Now coming to Bad Marriage. It is advisable that couple who are going for marriage have pre-marriage counseling. No matter how long they may have know each other or dated, it is only when you are together 7 X 24 that you know the other person fully. It must be borne in mind that both are equal partners in marriage, and that is possible only if few golden rules are kept in mind. Along with pre-marriage counseling, they should also not project goody goody image but talk to each other frankly about own expectations, willingness to adjust and shortcomings. Once married, following , which is my experience after having been married for almost 39 years now with our normal ups and downs, should be kept in mind to ensure there is no issue which raises ugly head :
a) Mutual respect as the person is as well as respect for each other’s relatives.
b) Mutual trust and ensure that this is not broken.
c) Willingness to adjust and accept the other as he or she is.
d) Giving space to each other and to ensure that it is not misused.
e) In case of any misunderstanding, open & logical two way communication without throwing tantrums. They may even agree to disagree.
f) To be there for each other in time of need and try to go extra mile for other.
g) No verbal or physical abuse, specially from husband.
h) To be able to ignore unwanted interference from others.
i) Last but not the least, frankness on physical aspects.
Well, I am open to your suggestions.
Let me start with Love. Love is of many hues, like between parents & children, siblings, relatives, friends to name a few. What I will take up here is Love between two persons, generally of different genders and unrelated. There is no secret that there is attraction between genders. It is from times immemorial. Let me give examples starting with Dushyant and Shakuntla and then coming to recent times of Romeo & Juliet, Shirin & Farhad, Sassi & Pannu and Laila & Majnu. But in olden days it was not widely prevalent as opportunities of interaction between persons of opposite gender was not so common. There were few instances of Love Marriages. As the time passed there were more opportunities as girls started taking up higher as well as professional education. They also had more opportunities to go for jobs in or outside hometown increasing interaction between opposite genders. Thus it is natural for two persons who are attracted and like each other to fall in love and parents need to open their mind to let children have space. This brings us to point where I can say with conviction that when two persons are in such relationship, there is bound to be certain amount of physicality. In my younger days it was close hugs and stolen kisses. Of course there were those who went for more but that was not so common due to lack of opportunity. This brings us to question of pre-marital sex. May I pose a question to all of you, specially males, why is it accepted if a boy has sex with a girl but she is the one who is castigated? Is she not a human being with normal urges? In olden days too there were a lot of instances where cousins had indulged in physical relations as interaction with outsiders was restricted. In some cases it resulted in Forced Marriages if customs permitted. I feel it is upto individual to set limits and to go this far & not farther. But after marriage both boy and the girl should keep trust intact. I do not advocate promiscuity but if it is discreet with those in Love, others should not raise fingers. I have only one Thumb Rule for this which I told both our children, daughter and son, once they were off age “ Follow your conscience and never do something which makes you hang your head in shame later.”
Let us now see Live In relations. If two persons are in love but are not yet in a position to marry, here I must say that marriage is definitely ultimate aim in Love, they may decide to live together depending upon circumstances. Here comes a point which Restless has raised very pertinently , what is the status of children born out of this relationship? Specially if parents do not get married ultimately. Other drawback is what about those who just wish to do so because of LUST? Mostly boys. I know there is Court ruling that those who are in Live In relationship for a reasonable period are to be treated as married couple but such period is not quantified. What happens if boy after having had his fun for let us say a few months walks out? I always say it is unfortunately it is the girl who is at the receiving end. So GIRLS before you decide to go for Live In relationship, do apply your mind fully.
Now coming to Bad Marriage. It is advisable that couple who are going for marriage have pre-marriage counseling. No matter how long they may have know each other or dated, it is only when you are together 7 X 24 that you know the other person fully. It must be borne in mind that both are equal partners in marriage, and that is possible only if few golden rules are kept in mind. Along with pre-marriage counseling, they should also not project goody goody image but talk to each other frankly about own expectations, willingness to adjust and shortcomings. Once married, following , which is my experience after having been married for almost 39 years now with our normal ups and downs, should be kept in mind to ensure there is no issue which raises ugly head :
a) Mutual respect as the person is as well as respect for each other’s relatives.
b) Mutual trust and ensure that this is not broken.
c) Willingness to adjust and accept the other as he or she is.
d) Giving space to each other and to ensure that it is not misused.
e) In case of any misunderstanding, open & logical two way communication without throwing tantrums. They may even agree to disagree.
f) To be there for each other in time of need and try to go extra mile for other.
g) No verbal or physical abuse, specially from husband.
h) To be able to ignore unwanted interference from others.
i) Last but not the least, frankness on physical aspects.
Well, I am open to your suggestions.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
DO WE PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH?
I have been absent for a fortnight here as well as in visiting you all regularly. I, alongwith my wife, had to visit Chandigarh for some family commitment. On return I could not get back into right frame of mind to do what I love. This is what happens when you are eldest in the family and have to attend to so many issues. I will take a couple of days to catch up with all pending posts from each of you.
We had decided to go by car and what an experience it was. It was raining very heavily most of the time necessitating caution in driving. There was lot of water at a number of places on the road as well as around. There were a lot of diversions at many places due to work going on the road. The drive was enjoyable but it also set me thinking about driving courtesies. I know we all are in hurry to get where we are heading for but I wish to share some of my observations which if followed may enable easy flow of traffic :
1. Stick to one lane as it helps those who want to overtake. If you drive keeping the dividing line of lanes in center of car, this will make others impatient as they will not be able to overtake.
2. Maintain steady safe speed.
3. Observe right of way rules.
4. Overtake only when safe.
5. In case of traffic jam due to any reason, stick to your lane even if the next one moves faster as it will disrupt the flow.
6. Never go over to the lane for oncoming traffic as that will cause severe traffic jam as none of us are willing to reverse and even if we wish to the vehicles who followed us make it impossible.
7. If you have to stop for any reason, like asking for directions, make sure that you do not block the flow of traffic.
8. If you have to use your mobile phone, draw on side leaving the busy road and talk.
These are few things which came in my mind and these are not only for highway driving but on driving at any time anywhere. We all are aware of such simple courtesies and curse others ahead of us if they are not following any of these, but do we really care for it when we are at wheel?
We had decided to go by car and what an experience it was. It was raining very heavily most of the time necessitating caution in driving. There was lot of water at a number of places on the road as well as around. There were a lot of diversions at many places due to work going on the road. The drive was enjoyable but it also set me thinking about driving courtesies. I know we all are in hurry to get where we are heading for but I wish to share some of my observations which if followed may enable easy flow of traffic :
1. Stick to one lane as it helps those who want to overtake. If you drive keeping the dividing line of lanes in center of car, this will make others impatient as they will not be able to overtake.
2. Maintain steady safe speed.
3. Observe right of way rules.
4. Overtake only when safe.
5. In case of traffic jam due to any reason, stick to your lane even if the next one moves faster as it will disrupt the flow.
6. Never go over to the lane for oncoming traffic as that will cause severe traffic jam as none of us are willing to reverse and even if we wish to the vehicles who followed us make it impossible.
7. If you have to stop for any reason, like asking for directions, make sure that you do not block the flow of traffic.
8. If you have to use your mobile phone, draw on side leaving the busy road and talk.
These are few things which came in my mind and these are not only for highway driving but on driving at any time anywhere. We all are aware of such simple courtesies and curse others ahead of us if they are not following any of these, but do we really care for it when we are at wheel?
Monday, August 16, 2010
SOME LAUGHTER
I have been writing here for almost 2 years now. Before that I was writing at o3.indiatimes site. I still post there too, if I can navigate to that space. Lately some of my friends here have expressed if what I write is true incidents or fiction. I would like to clarify that to all my dear friends here. The title of my space is “ Sharing Thoughts and Experiences”. Well, that is what I do. I write posts based on my experience in life, working period of about 41 years in different organisations and earlier during student time. My first exposure to the realities of life was when I was about 5 or so. I saw a train accident as a small culvert had been washed away due to floods caused by heavy rains and selfless help rendered by so many persons as well as apathy shown by some. So I narrate incidents which I have been witness to with little padding up. Some are based on what is narrated by close friends. Mostly it is former. Those are the ones where I give names of involved persons, though changed ones. Then I write what my thoughts are, like posts – For A Happy Married Life in 3 parts, What Makes A Marriage or Relationship Happy and Healthy to name a few. My only fiction has been Darkness At Noon but that too was on realistic mode. Of course I am not talking of Tags or Humour posts.
Enough of clarifications, now for some fun :
A blonde came home elated and told her roommate that she was with her boyfriend when he visited ATM and she got to know the password of his ATM card. On being asked what was it, she told , “ It is ********.”
This one is related by my grandfather who was a Headmaster. There was a visit by Inspector of Schools and he showed desire to visit class rooms. In one of the classes he asked the students if anyone could tell how old he was. Up went one hand. My grandfather, who was with the Inspector, was worried as the student who raised his hand was very naughty. On being asked he told, “ Sir, you are 40 years old.” The Inspector showed surprise and said, “ Very correct.” He gave that boy pat on his back. Later my grandfather asked that student as to how did he guess it correctly. The student replied, “ Sir, in our village we have a mad person who asks stupid questions and he is 20. The question asked by Inspector Sahib was double stupid so I thought he must be 40.”
3 Priests were chit chatting and one of them said that whatever money is offered to the deity, he puts half for deity and takes the rest for himself. Second one said that he draws a line close to deity and throws the money towards deity, whatever crosses the line is for deity and rest for him. The third one said, “ You are fools. I throw the money up and whatever deity wants He keeps and rest falls back for me.”
Little Jimmy was admonished by his teacher many times not to count on finger while replying to addition sums. One day she asked what was 5 plus 5. She saw Jimmy counting on finger. So she told him to put his hands in pockets and then do the sum. Jimmy put his hands in pockets and after a while he replied, “ 11.”
A lady had employed new driver. One days she had to go for a meeting. She was aghast that the driver kept blowing horn most of the time. While returning she told him that she would drive. She thought that she would not use horn at all and then advise the driver. When she got off the car at home and before she could say anything the driver said, “ Madam, you drive so nicely but don’t you feel horny?”
A farmer was sitting on the porch enjoying cake when he saw a rooster chasing a hen. As they passed him, he threw some crumbs. The rooster stopped to eat. The farmer looked towards heaven and prayed, “ O God! Please do not make me that hungry ever.”
Enough of clarifications, now for some fun :
A blonde came home elated and told her roommate that she was with her boyfriend when he visited ATM and she got to know the password of his ATM card. On being asked what was it, she told , “ It is ********.”
This one is related by my grandfather who was a Headmaster. There was a visit by Inspector of Schools and he showed desire to visit class rooms. In one of the classes he asked the students if anyone could tell how old he was. Up went one hand. My grandfather, who was with the Inspector, was worried as the student who raised his hand was very naughty. On being asked he told, “ Sir, you are 40 years old.” The Inspector showed surprise and said, “ Very correct.” He gave that boy pat on his back. Later my grandfather asked that student as to how did he guess it correctly. The student replied, “ Sir, in our village we have a mad person who asks stupid questions and he is 20. The question asked by Inspector Sahib was double stupid so I thought he must be 40.”
3 Priests were chit chatting and one of them said that whatever money is offered to the deity, he puts half for deity and takes the rest for himself. Second one said that he draws a line close to deity and throws the money towards deity, whatever crosses the line is for deity and rest for him. The third one said, “ You are fools. I throw the money up and whatever deity wants He keeps and rest falls back for me.”
Little Jimmy was admonished by his teacher many times not to count on finger while replying to addition sums. One day she asked what was 5 plus 5. She saw Jimmy counting on finger. So she told him to put his hands in pockets and then do the sum. Jimmy put his hands in pockets and after a while he replied, “ 11.”
A lady had employed new driver. One days she had to go for a meeting. She was aghast that the driver kept blowing horn most of the time. While returning she told him that she would drive. She thought that she would not use horn at all and then advise the driver. When she got off the car at home and before she could say anything the driver said, “ Madam, you drive so nicely but don’t you feel horny?”
A farmer was sitting on the porch enjoying cake when he saw a rooster chasing a hen. As they passed him, he threw some crumbs. The rooster stopped to eat. The farmer looked towards heaven and prayed, “ O God! Please do not make me that hungry ever.”
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
HOW MUCH TO LOVE YOUR CHILDREN
Siddharth was born after a lot of prayers and what not by his parents and grandparents. His parents had two daughters before him and wanted a son very desperately. The age gap between him and second sister was 12 years. So you can well imagine joy he must have brought to his parents and grandparents on his arrival in this world. They gave him all the attention and pampered him so much that right from his childhood he considered himself to be a gift to humanity. Relations between him and sisters were not so cordial as most of the time they were at the receiving end for crimes against him as per his statements without any cross check. He just got used to get what he wanted and the way was not any consideration. He even used to become violent at times when denied what he wanted. He was little above average height and good looking.
His grandparents were very disheartened at the way he was growing up. During his final years in school they tried to make him have some sense but he retaliated with so much of rudeness that they just went into shell. This depression caused them to depart this world one after the other in a space of just five months. He barely graduated after number of attempts as he loved going to college which gave him a chance to show off his latest acquisitions and have a number of girlfriends. As he was to step into his father’s shoes to run business, it was not considered that he study anything more. That is the kind of man he grew up to.
He started going to office under compulsion of his father who was keen that he learn about business to take over in a few years. He had to show interest in office lest his father stops giving him what he wants. But his heart was in having fun. So after office it was pubs with friends. It was well known that if he fancied a girl he made all out efforts to make her his girlfriend and as soon as he felt bored with her he dumped her. His mother was not very happy but could not do much. His sisters were both married and did not visit parental house often as they were happy in their respective homes. They were not keen to be with him due to his behavior which had made them face ire of parents when they were there.
He developed attraction for a girl, Roshni, working in the office as Business Development Officer. All his efforts to woo her failed. Even subtle threats about job conveyed through a crony of his in the office bore no fruit as she just told that she would rather resign than to be his friend. She was quite good looking. She was from a middle class family which he had found out through his sources. He got so obsessed that he forced his mother to get him married to her.
For a month or so after marriage it seemed that he had become a totally different person. Roshni was not going to office any more though his father had plans to give her some major responsibility at a later date. But it was not long lasting. As the novelty of marriage wore off and he had had what he wanted he was back to his old self. He again started visiting pubs with his friends, of course new girls too. Roshni tried to reason it out with him but he just told her to mind her business. He even slapped her once in presence of his mother. She sided Roshni and he even told her to keep out of it.
His father had heart attack. Though he survived but was confined to bed due to paralysis of lower limbs. Now he had the whole world to himself with no one to check him. His escapades got wilder with business being neglected. His father was not told anything initially but as he showed signs of improvement his mother put him in picture. He called for his lawyers and made Roshni Executive Director of the company with all powers. Siddharth was director but with no control over major issues. He was very upset and threatened to go to court but did not as he was advised that it would be of no use. He started drinking all the time and spending time with new girls. He almost stopped going to office. She grasped nuances of business very well and fast with guidance from her father in law. She was well liked and respected due to her humane approach. She gave due respect but was strict also without being arrogant.
His behaviour got worse and whatever time he was home he always kept shouting at his parents. He used to threaten her with dire consequences. He became well known in the whole city for his acts after drinking. One day late at night someone known to them called up to say that he is making a nuisance of himself at a pub. Roshni went alongwith their trusted help and driver to bring him back. On arrival she found him to be very aggressive. When she approached him, he shouted at her calling her all kinds of names. She requested him to calm down and come with her to go home. He used very abusive language telling her to go away. When she held him by the arm to guide him out of that place, he pushed her away with force making her fall. He then picked up a chair hitting her repeatedly. One of the persons in the pub called up police and he was arrested red handed. She sustained fracture of leg. The whole thing was caught on CCTV.
She took a stand to let him face the legal action. His parents supported her. He was locked up but was out on bail given by some rivals of his father. They even put him up in a hotel and paid for fees for lawyers. The investigating office of police was a honest person who took charge of CCTV footage and had recorded evidence of all available witnesses. The case went on for a long time but with all the strong evidence he was found guilty. He was sentenced to 3 years of rigorous imprisonment. He obtained bail and appealed against it but in due course of time his appeal was rejected. The persons supporting him realized that it was futile to back him as the evidence was clinching. Even in jail he tried to show his bossy nature but was badly beaten up by fellow prisoners.
Roshni and his mother visited him in jail but initially he refused to see them. Over a time he realized that there was no one who cared for him and all his friends had deserted him. So he started meeting them. A year in jail made him a changed person and he started regretting his past. His father improved but still did not go to office preferring to work through Roshni. They all hope that once he comes out of jail, he would have learnt his lesson and be a better person. His father still does not want to hand over reins of business to him but keep those with Roshni. He understand it and agrees with it.
The idea of telling this was that we should love our children but not pamper them to an extent that they become demons for us. Right values must be inculcated alongwith love.
His grandparents were very disheartened at the way he was growing up. During his final years in school they tried to make him have some sense but he retaliated with so much of rudeness that they just went into shell. This depression caused them to depart this world one after the other in a space of just five months. He barely graduated after number of attempts as he loved going to college which gave him a chance to show off his latest acquisitions and have a number of girlfriends. As he was to step into his father’s shoes to run business, it was not considered that he study anything more. That is the kind of man he grew up to.
He started going to office under compulsion of his father who was keen that he learn about business to take over in a few years. He had to show interest in office lest his father stops giving him what he wants. But his heart was in having fun. So after office it was pubs with friends. It was well known that if he fancied a girl he made all out efforts to make her his girlfriend and as soon as he felt bored with her he dumped her. His mother was not very happy but could not do much. His sisters were both married and did not visit parental house often as they were happy in their respective homes. They were not keen to be with him due to his behavior which had made them face ire of parents when they were there.
He developed attraction for a girl, Roshni, working in the office as Business Development Officer. All his efforts to woo her failed. Even subtle threats about job conveyed through a crony of his in the office bore no fruit as she just told that she would rather resign than to be his friend. She was quite good looking. She was from a middle class family which he had found out through his sources. He got so obsessed that he forced his mother to get him married to her.
For a month or so after marriage it seemed that he had become a totally different person. Roshni was not going to office any more though his father had plans to give her some major responsibility at a later date. But it was not long lasting. As the novelty of marriage wore off and he had had what he wanted he was back to his old self. He again started visiting pubs with his friends, of course new girls too. Roshni tried to reason it out with him but he just told her to mind her business. He even slapped her once in presence of his mother. She sided Roshni and he even told her to keep out of it.
His father had heart attack. Though he survived but was confined to bed due to paralysis of lower limbs. Now he had the whole world to himself with no one to check him. His escapades got wilder with business being neglected. His father was not told anything initially but as he showed signs of improvement his mother put him in picture. He called for his lawyers and made Roshni Executive Director of the company with all powers. Siddharth was director but with no control over major issues. He was very upset and threatened to go to court but did not as he was advised that it would be of no use. He started drinking all the time and spending time with new girls. He almost stopped going to office. She grasped nuances of business very well and fast with guidance from her father in law. She was well liked and respected due to her humane approach. She gave due respect but was strict also without being arrogant.
His behaviour got worse and whatever time he was home he always kept shouting at his parents. He used to threaten her with dire consequences. He became well known in the whole city for his acts after drinking. One day late at night someone known to them called up to say that he is making a nuisance of himself at a pub. Roshni went alongwith their trusted help and driver to bring him back. On arrival she found him to be very aggressive. When she approached him, he shouted at her calling her all kinds of names. She requested him to calm down and come with her to go home. He used very abusive language telling her to go away. When she held him by the arm to guide him out of that place, he pushed her away with force making her fall. He then picked up a chair hitting her repeatedly. One of the persons in the pub called up police and he was arrested red handed. She sustained fracture of leg. The whole thing was caught on CCTV.
She took a stand to let him face the legal action. His parents supported her. He was locked up but was out on bail given by some rivals of his father. They even put him up in a hotel and paid for fees for lawyers. The investigating office of police was a honest person who took charge of CCTV footage and had recorded evidence of all available witnesses. The case went on for a long time but with all the strong evidence he was found guilty. He was sentenced to 3 years of rigorous imprisonment. He obtained bail and appealed against it but in due course of time his appeal was rejected. The persons supporting him realized that it was futile to back him as the evidence was clinching. Even in jail he tried to show his bossy nature but was badly beaten up by fellow prisoners.
Roshni and his mother visited him in jail but initially he refused to see them. Over a time he realized that there was no one who cared for him and all his friends had deserted him. So he started meeting them. A year in jail made him a changed person and he started regretting his past. His father improved but still did not go to office preferring to work through Roshni. They all hope that once he comes out of jail, he would have learnt his lesson and be a better person. His father still does not want to hand over reins of business to him but keep those with Roshni. He understand it and agrees with it.
The idea of telling this was that we should love our children but not pamper them to an extent that they become demons for us. Right values must be inculcated alongwith love.
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