Tuesday, November 30, 2010

FACE LIFE AS IT COMES

Ankit and Ankita were like two sides of the same coin. They both had akin qualifications and were doing similar job, though in different departments. I had joined that organization a few weeks ago and could easily see that they were in love. He was elder by a couple of years. He was a migrant while she belonged the same place. Everyone expected them to get married soon. I interacted with employees as part of my job. A lot of them used to come to me if they faced any problem or had some suggestions for improvement in day to day activities. Both of them somehow got close to me and confided in me.

His parents had given their blessings but her father was reluctant. The reason being that Ankit or his family did not own any house in that place. They had property at their native place but due to law & order situation they had not been there for a long time. It was told that distant relatives who were there had taken over everything and it would need a lot of community persuasion or may be even litigation before they could get it back. She did not mind to go ahead with marriage without her family’s participation and he was firm that they would not do anything which can cause break up in relationships. They both were waiting that may be her father would agree some day.

About six months later it was learnt that her father had fixed her marriage with one of his friend’s son. She knew not only that boy but his family also very well. Her father put emotional pressure on her and she could not resist. In about 15 days she was married off. She was on leave for a month. In this time Ankit left for another company as he told me he would not like to cause any unwanted situation for her. On her return she tried to contact him but on her calling up he wished her all the best and told her to settle down happily with her husband. Once she told me that she misses him a lot and memories keep flooding her mind whenever she is in office. I advised her to change job so with change of environments it would be easy for her to overcome this mental condition. She did so within a short period.

Both of them kept in touch with me. I took care not to ever talk to them about other. She was blessed with twins, a boy and a girl, in about two years of marriage. Her husband is doing very well and is in a senior VP in his company. She too has done well in new company and is very respected by all there. His parents are staying with them, so children have proper care.

Ankit was sent abroad by his company for further training and on return he was sent to another city to set up new plant. He too got married the year she was blessed with twins. His parents had selected girl for him. He is very busy in his new assignment while she has her own boutique. They have a son. His parents too had moved with him.

My aim of narrating this was to bring out that it is not end of the world if we do not get what we desire. It is advisable to face the situation bravely and be logical in taking further decisions.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

? ? ? ? ?

It was colder than expected. I was little early for my morning walk. Dawn was slowly pushing the night away. There was hardly anyone else. I was alone on this long stretch of road. I was silently saying prayers as usual. Suddenly I felt as if someone was keeping pace with me on my side. I tried to see who was there from corner of my eye. I could not make out any shape. It was just a brilliant light encased in what seemed like mist. I was mystified. Then I heard a booming voice which seemed to come from heaven.

“ Son! I have been watching you for sometime and thought it is time to meet you.”

Tubelight with bad choke just lit up “ OMG! Is that you God?”

“Who else do you think I am?”

“ But God, I can hardly make out any shape or figure.”

“ I have no shape or figure but you people have given me different shapes or figures and names.”

“ OK, God! I sincerely apologize.”

“ It is OK. I am here today as I want to grant you one boon. What would you like to have, Son?”

After mulling over for some time, “ God! There are so many things which need to be rectified in this world so may I request you to empower me to do what I ever wish to.”

“ That is blanket power you are asking for, Son. What is in your mind which you wish to do?”

“ Well, God! You, of course, know I enjoy good things in life which includes admiring beauty - living or of mother nature. I do look at a gorgeous woman second time but beyond that is something which I feel is not decent. So the first thing I will do once you bless me with such power is to cast a spell by which as soon as someone starts eve-teasing, his bladder control will give way making him wet his pants or whatever in public becoming an object of ridicule.”

“ Noble thought, Son. What next?”

“ Well, God. Next on the list is that as soon as someone raises hand to snatch a chain or purse or bag etc he or she will freeze like in game statue statue. His or her vehicle, if any, will also seize.”

“ I agree, Son. There have been little too many of such happenings. Youngsters instead of working hard to have good life want to have it in easy way. What more do you have in mind?”

“ God, for the next I will need a lot of help from small living things. As soon as someone ventures to molest a girl or woman, all bees or wasps or mosquitoes or scorpions in near vicinity reach there and sting that person you know where before he can do any harm.”

“ Well, Son, that would be much better than victim facing trauma later during trials etc. What next?”

“ Well, God! In your area I am sure there is no problem with traffic as there are only few who use UDANGHATOLAS ( Flying Chariots ), but here with aggressive marketing and easy availability almost everyone has wheels, two or four. There are three wheeled demons too. They drive with no regard for other users of paths. Traffic lights are just show piece for most of them. Many people have reached you due to collisions as a result of disregards for traffic sense. So what I will do is that the moment someone thinks of jumping a traffic light or do some other such thing endangering others, his or her vehicle will brake automatically till the light turns green or there is no danger to someone due to his or her likely acts.”

“ Son, I too am aghast that so many persons reach me at such young age and so badly mangled due to someone else’s fault. This will reduce such untimely departure of persons to a large extent. Let me know what is next?

“Yes, God. You are of course aware that there are many persons who are so greedy that they have amassed wealth beyond means in untraceable accounts here and abroad by looting the country thus paralyzing the system. I would cast spell that such persons including their near & dear ones whom they love and care for are paralysed with only seeing & hearing power intact. The main person would get message like pop ups on computer that they will recover only when he or she gives back all the ill gotten wealth to the treasury and such recovery process would start only once vow is taken to return the wealth. Such recovery will start with his or her partial recovery first only to enable fulfillment of vow and on completion of return of such wealth, they all will recover fully.”

“ Hmmmmmmm, Son, there are many more person apart from them who use unfair means for making money. How about them?”

“ They will change once big fish is in the net, isn’t it God?”

“ Yes, Son. Anything before I go back as there is so much to be done.”

“ Well, God, there is so much more needed but I will say the last but not the least for what is growing beyond limits. There are some persons who by invoking your name indulge in activities which I am sure are not approved by you too. Something needs to be done on that issue too.”

“ Son, I am already taking care of such persons. When they finally come to me beaming with pride and looking for rewards from me, I send them back to earth but on the side of victims so they taste their own medicine.”

I felt someone nudging my side and found that my wife was shaking me saying “ What are you muttering in sleep? Are you going senile in old age? It is time to get up now and take the dog for morning round.”

Thursday, November 18, 2010

THE 10 MUST HAVES FOR PEACE OF MIND

In my previous post, UPS AND DOWNS OF LIFE, I had hoped that two issues which were not spelt out but were the cause of lonely living of Kaka & Kaki would be noticed. But unfortunately only Restless partially caught on one. The issues are :

How for pursuit of our own ambitions we compromise on sacred relations, as evident by their younger son being virtually cut off from them.

How most of the girls, no matter how well educated, have mistrust for in- laws even when there is no show of bad intents by them, as evident in their daughter in law moving to her mother’s place.

Now coming to this post. Ellen ( ellen-inretrospect ) had written in her post - THE 10 MUST HAVES INSIDE MY TOTE BAG – that we can list out same for many other aspects, like home, kitchen, travel and relationship etc. I while commenting had said that I am looking forward to her next post concerning relationship and I am also motivated to write one such post. So here I go on

THE 10 MUST HAVES FOR PEACE OF MIND

1. Be Honest To Yourself :

This in my opinion is the topmost. We can paint our wrongs as rights to others by advancing reasons in a manner making them believe those. But in heart of hearts we know we are wrong. So if we are honest to ourselves, we will be guided by our conscience to avoid doing anything wrong which would make us feel scared what if it is found out affecting our peace of mind.

2. Be Content With What You Have :

This does not mean that have no dreams or ambitions. Make all efforts to achieve what you desire for but be content with what you get. Continue striving without getting saddened if the results are less than expected.

3. Have No Jealousy :

X has a huge mansion inspite of being a dud while I live in a flat inspite of being so intelligent or Y has so many men as friends while I am more beautiful and intelligent but have hardly any, so you start feeling jealous of those persons. So analyse it , may be your financial management needs improvement or you are too snooty and make changes accordingly. Do think it over, does being jealous change anything? So let it be. Each to his or her own. Make efforts to achieve what they have.

4. Be Truthful :

Be truthful in your dealings, promises, relationships and profession. If you lie, it does make you feel insecure that it may be found out. I know it is easier said than done but in tricky situations one may find way out with diplomacy than telling a lie.

5. Have No Ego :

Be proud but not vain. If we feel we are superior to others, it will make us long for attention and if we do not get it or someone else gets it instead of us, this will lead to heartburn thus no peace of mind.

6. Have Open Mind :

Be prepared to listen to other person’s logic or reasons instead of being adamant the it is only “I” who is right. Accept your weaknesses or failures or mistakes.

7. Do Not Keep Grudges :

If someone has hurt or harmed us, talk it out but forget after that. Do be careful of that person in future but if we keep the hurt or harm fresh in our memory, it will lead to our mind being disturbed and longing for revenge all the time.

8. Communicate Honestly :

When you hide some facts while communicating to others, be it at work place or family affairs or friends or personal details, it will always lurk in your mind what if the hidden issues or details are found out.

9. Be Faithful :

Be faithful to your ownself, family, country, orgainsation, friends and last but not the least spouse. Do I need to elaborate on this?

10. Have Faith :

Have faith in yourself, family and fellow beings. Do be careful against betrayals but do not mistrust everyone as a rule. And have faith in God you believe in. Remember if good times have passed so will the bad times too.

I am sure there will be a lot of more for additions or changes in your mind, I welcome you all to share it with us here.

Monday, November 8, 2010

UPS AND DOWNS OF LIFE

This is the post I had in my mind before I wrote FATHER’S DIKTAT. It is an incident which is over ten years old but is still fresh in my mind.

We had shifted to a locality which had mixed categories of houses. We were in a flat while at stones throw there were good bungalows. The residents were mostly upscale people. During my walks in the morning I used to see an elderly couple taking rounds of the park. I placed him to be about 5 years my senior which would make it 60. I learnt later that he was actually 66+ at that time. He was greeted by almost everyone of the locality and he had warm smile for each. After a few days we were introduced by a mutually known person. That is when I learnt that he was a retired senior officer from Government. They were originally from Gujarat but had settled here. Everyone addressed him Kaka and his wife Kaki. They had been in that locality for more than 15 years in their modest bungalow. They both were ever so helpful without any hesitations.

We started exchanging polite greetings whenever we met. They visited our house a few times and so did we but to find them home was difficult as they were mostly on call of helping someone or the other. Our relations were very warm but we did not ask any personal questions. Whatever information we had of each other was voluntary. However we shared a lot of common interests due to our keen passion for wellbeing of the society.

A couple of months after we were introduced a mutual friend came to our house in the evening stating that Kaka was in ICU of a hospital a little distance away and Kaki must be alone with him. I accompanied him to the hospital. On the way he filled me up with Kaka’s personal details.

They had two sons. Elder was in Army while second, younger by two years, went to USA for studies after science graduation as he was keen on becoming a research scientist. Both were married. Elder one liked a girl who was a fellow officer’s cousin and had come on holidays to place where he was posted. Her father was no more. Her mother was working in a private company taking care of her and son who was younger. They got married as Kaka and Kaki felt that happiness of the couple is more important than any other reason. Younger one was married to a girl of Indian parents who were second generation American citizens. So the girl was born and brought up in that nation. Kaka and Kaki went to USA for the wedding. Though it was traditional Indian wedding but had a lot of flavour of that country. They visited them again after a year or so. Their son wanted them to live there but Kaka did not agree as he saw that his brother in law who was married was living separately though his father had a fairly big house. He felt that their daughter in law who was working also would have different thinking. They however remained in touch. Kaka along with Kaki visited them twice again on birth of their daughter and son. They had visited India a couple of times only all these years. Exchange of e-mails and videos had been main source of contact apart from periodical calls.

Unfortunately elder son had died about 5 years ago in a freak motorcycle accident. His motorcycle skidded on loose rubble on a sharp turn and he suffered open chest injury due to sharp iron rods lying on the side which were to be put up in the road divider. He was conscious enough to call up his unit. He was picked up within short time and taken to hospital. There were broken ribs as well as shoulder. Doctors made all efforts to see that he recovers but he went into coma after four days as infection developed in open chest wound reached brain. He passed away two days after that. He was survived by his wife, a son of 2 years and daughter of 4 months. His wife did not get any pension as accident was not attributable to service but she received money from insurance, provident fund and gratuity. Kaka advised her to put that money in fixed deposit for making it grow as they would take care of her and children. But her mother made her move to her place putting her money in business with her younger brother. Kaka was unable to make her understand risk factors as her mother did not let her alone to discuss it. He kept in touch by making telephone calls but there was hardly any reciprocation. They visited her place on birthdays of their grandchildren and Diwali to give them gifts. In all this time she visited them only once or twice.

We reached hospital and found Kaki with another lady & two children. I learnt that she was their daughter in law with their grandchildren. Kaka was in operation theater. Few more persons from our locality had reached there. We all were saying silent prayers for his recovery. About an hour later he was wheeled out. The doctor told us that he is out of danger and will come out on anaesthetic affect in a few hours.

He was fit to be sent home in little over a week. During this period I made a visit on daily basis, at times alongwith the person with whom I went on first day. I found Kaki or their daughter in law there. Kaka was very liberal with praise when he introduced me to their daughter in law. During one of my visits a day or so before he was discharged their daughter in law told me as to what had happened.

For a couple of years all went well at her mother’s place. Her brother gave her money in return of her investment in his business. But gradually he started delaying it and stopped it totally in the past year or so. He stated losses in business as the reason. Her mother supported him. Being a graduate without any specialization she took up job of a receptionist in a medium sized company to ensure proper education of her children. She never told this to Kaka. However in the past 6 months she was forced to part with a large amount of her salary for household expenses. Matter came to boil a fortnight ago when her mother told her to withdraw her children from reputed school and admit them to government run school to save money for household. She refused and was told to make her own arrangements. She shifted out to a locality which was just a shade above slum. Kaka called her up as routine a couple of days after that. She broke down and told Kaka everything. Kaka told her that why did she shift to such place when her house is here. He alongwith Kaki went to her house to bring them home.

They had packed up their little belongings and put those in the car which was a little distance away. As they all settled down, there was a sudden shout by a lady. On looking up Kaka saw two persons on motorcycle had snatched that lady’s purse and were heading towards him. As they came abreast, Kaka shoved them. They stumbled and fell. Kaka caught hold of the one who was holding the purse. On seeing this his partner whipped out knife and lunged at Kaka, stabbing him on arm and side of waist. By now a large crowd had gathered and both culprits were caught by the mob who started beating them up. Their daughter in law made a call to Police on emergency number. A PCR van arrived within 15 minutes and took Kaka to hospital while leaving a constable to guard the offenders with help of some persons who volunteered. Kaki accompanied him in PCR van while daughter in law followed in Kaka’s car. On reaching hospital Kaki made call to the person who came to our house with this news.

Though we shifted out of that locality a year later, I am still in touch with Kaka. Their grandson is now in college while granddaughter is in 11th. Their daughter in law apart from running the house teaches underprivileged children as per Kaka’s wishes. The lower court convicted those culprits and their appeal is pending. However they still have scars and limp from the beating they received at the hands of crowd. Kaki is no more. She passed away two years ago. Kaka told that she went with her head in their grandson’s lap and a content smile on her face.

Friday, November 5, 2010

HAPPY DIWALI

MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL WITH LOTS OF HAPPINESS.

MAY ALL YOUR WISHES BE FULFILLED.

HAPPY DIWALI