Shruti Mukundan had tagged me some time ago and I promised that I would take it up a s a p. As per rules of the tag one is supposed to tell 7 things about himself / herself which no one knows. Her reason of tagging me was to know my secrets. Well, if I tell what no one knows about me, would those remain secrets anymore? LOL.
Anyways here it goes –
1. I had a dream of becoming an engineer but did not want to put burden on my father, so joined NDA after Higher Secondary.
2. I believe there is nothing wrong in doing what you wish to as long as your conscience allows it and it is so hurting to see any youngster losing out on what he or she wishes to do for want of proper guidance as I had. I am always ready to help those who seem to be in need and at times go out of my way to offer so after striking rapport even having been misunderstood at times.
3. I have some principles in life with foremost being “ If you can not help someone do not harm or hurt that person unless it is in performance of your duty.”
4. I am very open and frank. I like other persons to be so. However if it is something which may hurt someone’s feelings without leading to any common good, I choose to be silent.
5. I dream of having a farmhouse in remote place close to nature with lots of fruit trees, plants and rivulet running through the place. And of course a lot of dogs too.
6. It pains me to no end when someone while seeking guidance denies an obvious fact of life. After all I have also gone through the same growing up process.
7. I am very afraid of becoming a liability in my old age so I want to depart this world in one sudden go and not after lingering around.
As per rules I am supposed to tag 7 persons but I leave it to those who wish to take it up.
Shruti, hope this meets the need.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
MISCONCEPTIONS
In my previous post I had said that how we make our lives miserable with our pre-conceived ideas. I share some real life happenings on this issue.
Gopals are our family friends. They live few houses away. Mrs Gopal and my wife exchange a lot of notes. One day I heard her telling my wife that daughters in law always look how to spoil peaceful atmosphere at home. Their only son was married a few months ago to, let us say K. This seemed a very generalized preconceived idea. She said that K was always doing things to annoy her, K insisted on going out frequently with her husband. She helped in household work as she pleased and not what Mrs Gopal wanted. She did not have much time in the morning as she had to go to office and on return she felt tired. On week ends she wanted to go out with her husband. She seemed quite agitated on this. This kind of talk went on and on for sometime. I thought of asking her to remember her newly married time and compare it with today as well as why does she not have a heart to heart talk with K to tell her what she desires. But I desisted as it would make her feel that we are against her. I had met K few times and found her to be intelligent and sensible girl. We had developed a nice rapport as uncle and niece. So I thought why not to hear her side too. A couple of days later K had come to our house for something. I called her aside and asked her how things were going. She was initially hesitant but on seeing my seriousness she opened up. She confided that she was at a loss to understand why Mrs Gopal was always cross at her. She stated that she wanted to be a responsible member of family but found it difficult due to being denied proper guidance and her initiatives were snubed by her mother in law. This she said made her frustrated which in turn caused friction with her husband. I am sure you all will agree with me here that due to preconceived ideas Mrs Gopal not only made her life miserable but that of her son and K too. I advised K to speak to her mother in law at a suitable time telling her that she is the one who is her role model and would like to learn a lot from her so as to make a model happy family. I also told her to tell her difficulties as a working girl vis-à-vis home chores. I told her to choose her own time and words. She understood and agreed. A few days later she told me that she had spoken to her mother in law and was astonished at the misconceptions Mrs Gopal had about her. She thanked me that all misunderstandings were resolved. A fortnight or so later I overheard Mrs Gopal praising K to my wife.
The other incident is of a company where I worked. Though I was GM but I had an open approach with my office mates. A lot of persons from other departments used to speak to me about their woes. One such person, let us say B, was convinced that his boss did not like him and was making his life miserable. On my cajoling he said that he kept getting all the difficult tasks and hardly had any breathing space. Even on holidays he was called to office to do something or the other which was said to be important and urgent. He seemed to be at break down point. On my asking if he had ever spoken to his boss on this, he said that knowing him it was just impossible. I knew his boss to be a task master but was good at heart. However he hardly praised anyone from his staff. We had a tradition that in rotation we used to have cup of coffee or tea with other department heads and discuss company matters in general. In one such meeting with his boss, I asked him in casual way as to whom did he trust most in his department. Without even a fraction of second’s hesitation he named B. I asked him had he ever given pat to B for this. On his negative reply I told him that such an act would go a long way in boosting morale of his staff. In a couple of days I saw B moving about very relaxed with smile on his face. He told me that he never imagined that his boss depended on him so much.
What I wanted to bring out was that one should never have preconceived ideas and if there is any difficulty one should have open frank two way communication with concerned person.
Gopals are our family friends. They live few houses away. Mrs Gopal and my wife exchange a lot of notes. One day I heard her telling my wife that daughters in law always look how to spoil peaceful atmosphere at home. Their only son was married a few months ago to, let us say K. This seemed a very generalized preconceived idea. She said that K was always doing things to annoy her, K insisted on going out frequently with her husband. She helped in household work as she pleased and not what Mrs Gopal wanted. She did not have much time in the morning as she had to go to office and on return she felt tired. On week ends she wanted to go out with her husband. She seemed quite agitated on this. This kind of talk went on and on for sometime. I thought of asking her to remember her newly married time and compare it with today as well as why does she not have a heart to heart talk with K to tell her what she desires. But I desisted as it would make her feel that we are against her. I had met K few times and found her to be intelligent and sensible girl. We had developed a nice rapport as uncle and niece. So I thought why not to hear her side too. A couple of days later K had come to our house for something. I called her aside and asked her how things were going. She was initially hesitant but on seeing my seriousness she opened up. She confided that she was at a loss to understand why Mrs Gopal was always cross at her. She stated that she wanted to be a responsible member of family but found it difficult due to being denied proper guidance and her initiatives were snubed by her mother in law. This she said made her frustrated which in turn caused friction with her husband. I am sure you all will agree with me here that due to preconceived ideas Mrs Gopal not only made her life miserable but that of her son and K too. I advised K to speak to her mother in law at a suitable time telling her that she is the one who is her role model and would like to learn a lot from her so as to make a model happy family. I also told her to tell her difficulties as a working girl vis-à-vis home chores. I told her to choose her own time and words. She understood and agreed. A few days later she told me that she had spoken to her mother in law and was astonished at the misconceptions Mrs Gopal had about her. She thanked me that all misunderstandings were resolved. A fortnight or so later I overheard Mrs Gopal praising K to my wife.
The other incident is of a company where I worked. Though I was GM but I had an open approach with my office mates. A lot of persons from other departments used to speak to me about their woes. One such person, let us say B, was convinced that his boss did not like him and was making his life miserable. On my cajoling he said that he kept getting all the difficult tasks and hardly had any breathing space. Even on holidays he was called to office to do something or the other which was said to be important and urgent. He seemed to be at break down point. On my asking if he had ever spoken to his boss on this, he said that knowing him it was just impossible. I knew his boss to be a task master but was good at heart. However he hardly praised anyone from his staff. We had a tradition that in rotation we used to have cup of coffee or tea with other department heads and discuss company matters in general. In one such meeting with his boss, I asked him in casual way as to whom did he trust most in his department. Without even a fraction of second’s hesitation he named B. I asked him had he ever given pat to B for this. On his negative reply I told him that such an act would go a long way in boosting morale of his staff. In a couple of days I saw B moving about very relaxed with smile on his face. He told me that he never imagined that his boss depended on him so much.
What I wanted to bring out was that one should never have preconceived ideas and if there is any difficulty one should have open frank two way communication with concerned person.
Monday, January 18, 2010
BACK
During this forced leave till the internet was connected I thought that I will be able to write number of posts as there are so many thoughts to share with you all but though we settled down in a couple of days as we had shifted within the same locality so there was no hassle of finding sources for daily need items, I still have not been able to find my writing mind which seems to have been left behind in the old house or may be it is yet to thaw in this biting cold. And there is so much to catch up with what you all have posted. May be my age is playing up as it is taking time for me to visit you all. Kindly do bear with me a little more. As it is I am so overwhelmed with affection shown by you all, so do pardon me for little more time.
Till I really get back, here is something to bring smile to you :
A newly married man told his wife that when he leaves for office in the morning he sees their neighbor also leaving at the same time and kissing his wife. His wife said with lot of expectation “ Why don’t you do the same.” He said “ I do not know her well enough.”
Two misers were indulging in one upmanship. One said he saved 50% when he went on honeymoon. “How” the other asked. He said “ I went alone.” The other laughed and said he saved 100% as he sent his wife with a friend.
Well, jokes apart lately I have been thinking how we make our lives miserable with our pre-conceived ideas. Soon I will share some live examples with you.
Till I really get back, here is something to bring smile to you :
A newly married man told his wife that when he leaves for office in the morning he sees their neighbor also leaving at the same time and kissing his wife. His wife said with lot of expectation “ Why don’t you do the same.” He said “ I do not know her well enough.”
Two misers were indulging in one upmanship. One said he saved 50% when he went on honeymoon. “How” the other asked. He said “ I went alone.” The other laughed and said he saved 100% as he sent his wife with a friend.
Well, jokes apart lately I have been thinking how we make our lives miserable with our pre-conceived ideas. Soon I will share some live examples with you.
Friday, January 1, 2010
LEAVE
Let me wish you all A VERY HAPPY 2010. MAY THIS YEAR BRING YOU WHATEVER YOU WISH FOR.
We are shifting our residence. I will thus be on forced leave from here for a few days.
We are shifting our residence. I will thus be on forced leave from here for a few days.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Let us say bye bye to 2009 and welcome 2010 with smile :
Little Joe came back from school after results of final examinations were declared. He was crying. His mother fearing that he may have been detained in KG class asked him what the matter was. Joe told her between sobs that all student had been promoted but his class teacher had failed as she had to stay in the same class.
Ashok was very keen to see one day cricket match between India and Sri Lanka but did not know how to get away from office. He mustered up courage and went to his boss with woeful looks telling him that his grandfather had expired so he needs to go. His boss let him. Next day when he came to office his boss asked him if he believed in miracles. On his saying no, his boss told him but that happened yesterday as after you left there was a call from your grandfather to tell you that Sri Lanka won the toss and elected to bat first.
There were three Barbers who had their saloons close to each other in a market. One put up a sign board proclaiming Best Saloon of this City. Few days later second one put up sign board saying Best Saloon of the country. Third one thought for a few days and then put up sign board stating Best Saloon in this Market.
Tony took Jenny to fair. They had rides in the merry go round, giant wheel and took part in many games of luck. Tony asked her what she wanted to do next. She said she wanted to be weighed. He took her to weighing scale and she got weighed. They roamed around enjoying drinks and eats as well as looking at various shows. He again asked her what would she like to do more. She again said she would like to be weighed. He again took her to weighing scale and got her weighed. This happened a few more times and Tony got annoyed. He took her back home and left her. Later her friend asked her how was the trip to the fair. She replied “ W(L)ousy ”.
Tutu had habit of flirting. Tanu, his wife suspected that it was not just verbal. It just so happened that Tanu was asked by her office to go to UK for training lasting 4 months. She asked him what would he like her to bring for him. He laughingly told her that he would like a nice English girl. On her return he on receiving her at airport asked her where was his gift. She very sweetly told him that he would have to wait for another seven months to see her.
WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY 2010.
Little Joe came back from school after results of final examinations were declared. He was crying. His mother fearing that he may have been detained in KG class asked him what the matter was. Joe told her between sobs that all student had been promoted but his class teacher had failed as she had to stay in the same class.
Ashok was very keen to see one day cricket match between India and Sri Lanka but did not know how to get away from office. He mustered up courage and went to his boss with woeful looks telling him that his grandfather had expired so he needs to go. His boss let him. Next day when he came to office his boss asked him if he believed in miracles. On his saying no, his boss told him but that happened yesterday as after you left there was a call from your grandfather to tell you that Sri Lanka won the toss and elected to bat first.
There were three Barbers who had their saloons close to each other in a market. One put up a sign board proclaiming Best Saloon of this City. Few days later second one put up sign board saying Best Saloon of the country. Third one thought for a few days and then put up sign board stating Best Saloon in this Market.
Tony took Jenny to fair. They had rides in the merry go round, giant wheel and took part in many games of luck. Tony asked her what she wanted to do next. She said she wanted to be weighed. He took her to weighing scale and she got weighed. They roamed around enjoying drinks and eats as well as looking at various shows. He again asked her what would she like to do more. She again said she would like to be weighed. He again took her to weighing scale and got her weighed. This happened a few more times and Tony got annoyed. He took her back home and left her. Later her friend asked her how was the trip to the fair. She replied “ W(L)ousy ”.
Tutu had habit of flirting. Tanu, his wife suspected that it was not just verbal. It just so happened that Tanu was asked by her office to go to UK for training lasting 4 months. She asked him what would he like her to bring for him. He laughingly told her that he would like a nice English girl. On her return he on receiving her at airport asked her where was his gift. She very sweetly told him that he would have to wait for another seven months to see her.
WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY 2010.
Monday, December 28, 2009
THANKS
I am really grateful to all of you for reading my previous post. I had let Naina read your advices on her visit a couple of days ago. She was in tears when she saw you all so concerned about her happiness in marriage. She promised that she would make all efforts to change herself for better and asked me to convey her heartfelt thanks to all of you. Big THANK YOU not only from her but from me too as she is my very close friend’s daughter in law. She had confided in me after a lot of effort from me and now she feels happy that she spoke her problems to me.
May I request you all to have your computers checked for virus as I have been a victim of hung PC or PC not working very often recently. My service engineer told me that it is due to virus being passed on, may be unknowingly, by some one from blogspot family as I spend a lot of time in this. My son has asked me to stop visiting blogspot or writing but I do wish to continue with you all, so this request.
May I request you all to have your computers checked for virus as I have been a victim of hung PC or PC not working very often recently. My service engineer told me that it is due to virus being passed on, may be unknowingly, by some one from blogspot family as I spend a lot of time in this. My son has asked me to stop visiting blogspot or writing but I do wish to continue with you all, so this request.
Friday, December 18, 2009
ANY SOLUTIONS ?
This is a real life situation showing what wife and husband have in their mind in a troubled marriage but do not communicate with each other freely and logically. I request for your views :-
I am Naina. I am 26. I have been complimented often for being tall, slim, fair and attractive. I have been married for 2 years now. I am not very happy since soon after marriage. I do not want anyone to interfere in the way I live and I want my husband, Sujit to do what so ever I tell him. Though he is very handsome, smart and very nice and understanding, this is causing a lot of friction. We are staying with his parents and my husband is not willing to live separately in spite of my strong desire for that. His mother is ok though at times we do have differences and I argue with her. His father is very helpful and tries to see that we all live in harmony. He supports me but does advise me to mend my ways too. To make you understand my problem let me tell you something of my background.
As far as I can remember my father had been very strict and did not allow me any freedom. I was not permitted to stay out late into evenings with my friends right from childhood or have chaat, golgappas etc. Even clothes I wore had to have his approval. My mother hardly had any say as he controled the house with iron fist. He controlled my life in every way. This made me underconfident and feel so dependent on him that I had to seek his consent for everything I did. If ever I did something he did not approve of, he used to beat me. As I grew older he used to slap only but very hard. This carried on till I was almost 14 or 15. Thereafter he did not hit me but used to penalize me by denying some thing or the other which I wanted badly. I felt very deprived and resented this as I saw my friends living carefree life which I too was keen on. Subconsciously I started doing things secretly which I knew he would not approve. Of course, nothing like smoking or taking drugs but like seeing adult movies on VCR while visiting some friend or dressing up in their short skirts or shorts and skimpy tops while in their house or having chaat etc. or things like that. Thus it became a habit to do something which I was told not to. Whatever little circle of friends I had was all girls approved by him and he did not like my mixing with boys. When I was in final year of school, just to prove to myself that I can do something at my own without asking for his approval , I agreed to be friends with a guy who had been asking me to be his girlfriend for a long time. He was my senior by two years in school and was in college then. He was staying in our locality at a little distance. I kept it secret from my father and told all my friends not to mention it in his presence. We used to meet for short time during my evening walks as I could not stay out late. At times he used to meet me outside my school while I waited for the school bus to leave but I could never bunk school to go with him. My outings from home were strictly controlled. At times I used to make excuse to go to the house of my close girlfriend who was also my class mate for studies and instead meet him close to her house. She was aware of it and stood by me in case of any call from my home. I used to get vicarious pleasure that I have a boyfriend, something which my father would never have approved of.
We had been friends for almost a year when I entered college. My father had let me have mobile so he could keep tabs on me. He used to check my call details and messages. I used to delete all such calls or messages which I did not want him to see. Now that strict school regime was not there, we could meet more often. Many a times he used to come to my college in his car and we went to nearby restaurant or park depending upon time available in between lectures. During school days it was nothing serious from my side but something I wanted to do which my father would disapprove of. Now as we spent more time together we came to know each other well and I started liking him a lot. Though I had made it quite clear to him that I did not want any physical intimacy but as time passed hugging and kissing came as a natural consequence. Frankly I loved his attention towards me. By the time I was in 2nd year we had become more playful and were quite comfortable with each other but I still did not agree to go all the way though he hopefully pleaded many times. At times when there were no classes in the afternoon he used to pick me up if no one was at his house and we spent some time cozying up. I then used to reach home as if coming back from college. During one such visit by end of my second year we were lying in the bed fooling around when he forced himself onto me. Though I was not willing but did not put up much of resistance as I was feeling highly aroused. I would be honest that after initial pain I did have some pleasant sensation much more than what I had felt earlier. After it was over I cried a little while he apologized for not having been able to control himself . Later on while thinking it over, I felt a kind of high for having done something which my father would not ever have thought I would do. Thus after a few days when we were in his house I did not stop him. After that we did it whenever we had an opportunity. In my mind this was like freedom to do whatever I want and paying back my father for his strictness. I had by now got used to doing things which I was told not to, but of course not openly as I outwardly still remained an obedient daughter. After post graduation he got a good job in another town. We used to meet during his periodic visits home.
I too started working after post graduation. My father was not for it but relented when my mother took my side. In my office life too I did not conform to rules much as I felt being controlled. Thus many a times my boss ticked me off. Soon I realized that I could have my way if I played along with my boss’s flirtatious ways. He was in mid 30s and married. It lead to my having physical relations with him after a while. I could have my way and felt I was in control of everything. But this was not for long as he joined another company. He offered to take me along but I had to decline as it was in nearby town which my father would never have agreed to.
By now my father started looking for suitable match for my marriage. I told him that I liked someone and would like him to be considered. My father flew into such a rage that I cowered away fearing physical hurt. He told me that I need not go for work anymore till I am married off. After a few days of home confinement he agreed to let me go only on one condition that he would monitor all my movements. To cut it short now, I was married off within a couple of months after that. I have not told my husband anything about my affairs. As a matter of fact in our first meeting he told me that we should let past be past and if we do marry we should start our life afresh. I however met my boyfriend a few times after marriage too whenever my husband was away on tour. I think my father in law has strong inkling about it as once or twice he told me that I should not let the past ruin my married life. I do feel the burden in my mind and this makes me behave the way I do. At time feel like telling all to my husband but am scared of consequences, specially reaction of my father if he is told all this. I could speak to my father in law as he is very level headed and may give me right advice as well as support. I do want to have happy married life as well as children but am confused.
I am Naina’s husband. I feel so depressed at the way she behaves. She makes lot of fuss on small issues and often quarrels with me. A number of times after such quarrel she goes off to her parents place. She keeps after me to do this or do that and wants to control all my movements. I can not even talk to my old friends without her overhearing what to talk about spending some time with them. I was brought up in a very open minded atmosphere and had a lot of space. My parents, specially my father made me understand my responsibilities while allowing all the freedom I wanted. I have had my free run as a bachelor but the girl I liked could not make her parents agree for marriage with me. My parents were very supportive and my father even told me that if I wished to go for court marriage, he would support me but I did not want to start my married life on a sour note. So I told my parents to find suitable match for me. My father was firm that though they would find the girl but I have to meet her and it had to be a joint decision with the girl. I met Naina alone outside her office and we spent almost 2 hours in a restaurant. I told her that at our age there is a lot which goes on but if she decides to marry me, we should let past be past and start our life afresh for happiness. My parents are very supportive and have left us to settle down with each other without any interference. Even when we have quarrels they let us sort our affairs at our own. I do not know how should I make her understand that this is her home now and she should feel so. She does not want children at present even while my parents are keen to have grandchild. She keeps calling her father on every small thing asking for his opinion. This makes me feel so little. I am at my wits end how to make her understand to be a part of family now.
I am Naina. I am 26. I have been complimented often for being tall, slim, fair and attractive. I have been married for 2 years now. I am not very happy since soon after marriage. I do not want anyone to interfere in the way I live and I want my husband, Sujit to do what so ever I tell him. Though he is very handsome, smart and very nice and understanding, this is causing a lot of friction. We are staying with his parents and my husband is not willing to live separately in spite of my strong desire for that. His mother is ok though at times we do have differences and I argue with her. His father is very helpful and tries to see that we all live in harmony. He supports me but does advise me to mend my ways too. To make you understand my problem let me tell you something of my background.
As far as I can remember my father had been very strict and did not allow me any freedom. I was not permitted to stay out late into evenings with my friends right from childhood or have chaat, golgappas etc. Even clothes I wore had to have his approval. My mother hardly had any say as he controled the house with iron fist. He controlled my life in every way. This made me underconfident and feel so dependent on him that I had to seek his consent for everything I did. If ever I did something he did not approve of, he used to beat me. As I grew older he used to slap only but very hard. This carried on till I was almost 14 or 15. Thereafter he did not hit me but used to penalize me by denying some thing or the other which I wanted badly. I felt very deprived and resented this as I saw my friends living carefree life which I too was keen on. Subconsciously I started doing things secretly which I knew he would not approve. Of course, nothing like smoking or taking drugs but like seeing adult movies on VCR while visiting some friend or dressing up in their short skirts or shorts and skimpy tops while in their house or having chaat etc. or things like that. Thus it became a habit to do something which I was told not to. Whatever little circle of friends I had was all girls approved by him and he did not like my mixing with boys. When I was in final year of school, just to prove to myself that I can do something at my own without asking for his approval , I agreed to be friends with a guy who had been asking me to be his girlfriend for a long time. He was my senior by two years in school and was in college then. He was staying in our locality at a little distance. I kept it secret from my father and told all my friends not to mention it in his presence. We used to meet for short time during my evening walks as I could not stay out late. At times he used to meet me outside my school while I waited for the school bus to leave but I could never bunk school to go with him. My outings from home were strictly controlled. At times I used to make excuse to go to the house of my close girlfriend who was also my class mate for studies and instead meet him close to her house. She was aware of it and stood by me in case of any call from my home. I used to get vicarious pleasure that I have a boyfriend, something which my father would never have approved of.
We had been friends for almost a year when I entered college. My father had let me have mobile so he could keep tabs on me. He used to check my call details and messages. I used to delete all such calls or messages which I did not want him to see. Now that strict school regime was not there, we could meet more often. Many a times he used to come to my college in his car and we went to nearby restaurant or park depending upon time available in between lectures. During school days it was nothing serious from my side but something I wanted to do which my father would disapprove of. Now as we spent more time together we came to know each other well and I started liking him a lot. Though I had made it quite clear to him that I did not want any physical intimacy but as time passed hugging and kissing came as a natural consequence. Frankly I loved his attention towards me. By the time I was in 2nd year we had become more playful and were quite comfortable with each other but I still did not agree to go all the way though he hopefully pleaded many times. At times when there were no classes in the afternoon he used to pick me up if no one was at his house and we spent some time cozying up. I then used to reach home as if coming back from college. During one such visit by end of my second year we were lying in the bed fooling around when he forced himself onto me. Though I was not willing but did not put up much of resistance as I was feeling highly aroused. I would be honest that after initial pain I did have some pleasant sensation much more than what I had felt earlier. After it was over I cried a little while he apologized for not having been able to control himself . Later on while thinking it over, I felt a kind of high for having done something which my father would not ever have thought I would do. Thus after a few days when we were in his house I did not stop him. After that we did it whenever we had an opportunity. In my mind this was like freedom to do whatever I want and paying back my father for his strictness. I had by now got used to doing things which I was told not to, but of course not openly as I outwardly still remained an obedient daughter. After post graduation he got a good job in another town. We used to meet during his periodic visits home.
I too started working after post graduation. My father was not for it but relented when my mother took my side. In my office life too I did not conform to rules much as I felt being controlled. Thus many a times my boss ticked me off. Soon I realized that I could have my way if I played along with my boss’s flirtatious ways. He was in mid 30s and married. It lead to my having physical relations with him after a while. I could have my way and felt I was in control of everything. But this was not for long as he joined another company. He offered to take me along but I had to decline as it was in nearby town which my father would never have agreed to.
By now my father started looking for suitable match for my marriage. I told him that I liked someone and would like him to be considered. My father flew into such a rage that I cowered away fearing physical hurt. He told me that I need not go for work anymore till I am married off. After a few days of home confinement he agreed to let me go only on one condition that he would monitor all my movements. To cut it short now, I was married off within a couple of months after that. I have not told my husband anything about my affairs. As a matter of fact in our first meeting he told me that we should let past be past and if we do marry we should start our life afresh. I however met my boyfriend a few times after marriage too whenever my husband was away on tour. I think my father in law has strong inkling about it as once or twice he told me that I should not let the past ruin my married life. I do feel the burden in my mind and this makes me behave the way I do. At time feel like telling all to my husband but am scared of consequences, specially reaction of my father if he is told all this. I could speak to my father in law as he is very level headed and may give me right advice as well as support. I do want to have happy married life as well as children but am confused.
I am Naina’s husband. I feel so depressed at the way she behaves. She makes lot of fuss on small issues and often quarrels with me. A number of times after such quarrel she goes off to her parents place. She keeps after me to do this or do that and wants to control all my movements. I can not even talk to my old friends without her overhearing what to talk about spending some time with them. I was brought up in a very open minded atmosphere and had a lot of space. My parents, specially my father made me understand my responsibilities while allowing all the freedom I wanted. I have had my free run as a bachelor but the girl I liked could not make her parents agree for marriage with me. My parents were very supportive and my father even told me that if I wished to go for court marriage, he would support me but I did not want to start my married life on a sour note. So I told my parents to find suitable match for me. My father was firm that though they would find the girl but I have to meet her and it had to be a joint decision with the girl. I met Naina alone outside her office and we spent almost 2 hours in a restaurant. I told her that at our age there is a lot which goes on but if she decides to marry me, we should let past be past and start our life afresh for happiness. My parents are very supportive and have left us to settle down with each other without any interference. Even when we have quarrels they let us sort our affairs at our own. I do not know how should I make her understand that this is her home now and she should feel so. She does not want children at present even while my parents are keen to have grandchild. She keeps calling her father on every small thing asking for his opinion. This makes me feel so little. I am at my wits end how to make her understand to be a part of family now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)