Summer Laugh

Today is the last day of May 2009. It is hot and with rain in the early morning it is humid too. So instead of putting something serious I thought it prudent to give something light for taking mind of hot & humid weather with little laugh. The one which was intended will follow in a day or so.

We live in a small lane off the main busy road with just about 8 small cottages – four on each side with a dead end. It is nice and peaceful. There are offices, commercial establishments on the other side of the main road. There lived a huge mixed breed dog in the lane and he was liked by one & all. He used to ensure no unwanted person had easy access to this lane. He used to escort children to and back from school bus stop. No vendor could raise his hawking voice more than certain decibel and pitch so as not to disturb peace, specially in the afternoons. All of us loved him and gave him something or the other to eat but he was choosy. One day while chasing away an adamant intruder he got run over by bus on the main road. We all felt sad and got together to give him a decent send off in the municipal crematorium for pets. Though we all felt sad one boy who was working for a push cart vendor on the corner of our lane was crying inconsolably. They served food for workers in the office opposite. We tried to pacify him that it was God’s will etc. Over his sobs we heard him say “ Now who will help me clean the dishes”.

In our locality community park we used to see a man walking briskly mornings and evenings. He looked about 40ish. We were astonished to learn that he was about 70. We all wondered how was it possible. So one day someone dared ask him secret of this. He said when he got married he and his wife made a pact that whenever one of them felt that the other was being too overbearing he or she would go for a walk instead of being angry and getting into arguments. So when asked did it work. His reply was don’t you people see my fitness, I started walking most of the day from the first day after wedding and am yet to spend time at home except for meals or rest.

A doctor was advising his patient in 50s ‘ to live for another 30 years give up drinking, flirting, surfing net and sleeping late in the mornings’. His patient replied ‘then what is the idea of living.’

A man touching 80 got married to a girl in early 20s. His friend who was doctor too advised him ‘ take a similar age boarder for keeping company to your wife.’ The old man agreed. They met after about 6 months. Doctor asked ‘ how is everything going.’ Old man replied ‘ couldn’t be better. My wife is 4 months pregnant.’ Doctor was happy and asked ‘ so you took my advice about taking a boarder.’ Old man said ‘ yes and she is pregnant too’.

Well, friends that is to keep you in good mood to welcome JUNE,2009.

Educated Illiterates

This incident happened more than a year ago and I had put a post in my o3 space. I still find similar happeinings. So I updated it and am putting it up for your views.
I was on my way to a meeting when I realised that I forgot the gift in my office which was meant for the person I was to meet. It was his birthday. As I was barely making it in time, I decided to buy one from market on the way. I could not find parking space in front of shop I wanted to visit, so I parked in proper place a few shops away and dashed to other side of the road to do the needful. On way back I saw that someone had parked car right behind mine. It took me sometime to cross the busy road and on reaching my car I found a smartly dressed lady occupying front passanger seat. I requested her to move the car as I was in hurry. She looked at me as if I had made some indecent proposal. She just uttered her husband had parked the car only for TWO MINUTES as he had gone to ATM for cash. I looked at the ATM and saw that 3 persons were waiting in the queue. I again requested her if she could move the car as I was in hurry. Her reply was “ Can't you have patience and wait.”. I had no option but to wait. After nearly ten minutes a well dressed youngman returned and got into the car without even bothering to acknowledge that I was waiting for him to move the car. I had seen him watching me and he was last in the queue. Of course, I was late for the meeting and had to face ire of that elderly person who was a stickler for punctuality. This reminded me how often have I seen in our residential complex cars parked haphazardly and at times blocking someone from taking his or her car out.
This set me thinking how often do we face such uncalled for and impolite situations. I remembered few of them which I will share with you all.
You are in peak hour fast moving heavy traffic trying to make it in time to your destination and person in front of you is driving very slow. You have no option but to follow as traffic does not let you overtake. On seeing carefully you find that person is talking on mobile. This continues for a couple of kilometers without that person moving out of traffic to park and talk or to curtail talkng. I always maintain that mobiles are for communication and not conversation.
You are in heavy traffic moving at within limits high speed, keeping pace while sticking to correct lane. Person behind you starts honking and flickering lights for you to give way. There is no way for you to do so as the traffic is congested but that person persists on doing it. And it is not an Ambulance nor has turn indicators flickering showing emergency. All you can see in your rear view mirror is that the person driving the car behind you is young.
You are at traffic lights and waiting to turn right. You stay in correct lane, say second from right as the markers indicate so. When lights turn green and you find that a person in fourth lane from right executes a U turn upsetting movement of all those who were waiting to turn right in corrcet manner.
You commence taking permitted U turn at a crossing when traffic light turns green. You get blocked by vehicle which comes from the road on right and takes left turn being fully aware that he can do so later once those taking U turn on green signal have cleared off.
The lesser said about blaring music from car music system better it is as it would take many pages to tell all.
I have a very simple thumb rule for polite driving – You are not right if someone has to apply brakes due to your driving.
You are standing at a shop counter waiting for you turn and suddenly a nicely dressed person jostles you around without even saying “ excuse me “ to reach counterstaff.
You are walking your dog on leash and suddenly another pet dog charges at you as it in not on leash. You take all steps to avoid dogfight or being bitten. On looking you find that owner, a well to do person little distance away calling out to dog without making effort to rush. And on reaching close just moves on with dog following without even offering regrets.
This list is endless. I am sure that you all must have face such situations. I have used word person as it indicates both genders.
What does it show? We are becoming EDUCATED ILLITERATES. There is no respects for values. Who is to blame? We all, as we accept all this nonsense. Does our education system include lessons on values or how to live in a cultured society? Do we teach our children about values? I shudder to think what we are heading for. May God bless us all.
I am now looking forward to your comments.

For A Few Laughs

I have been writing on topics which are on the serious side. So this time I thought let me write something light to make you have little laugh. Here is a collection of some jokes which I am sure would bring a smile to your face if not make you laugh outright.

In a small town there was a fair. In one of the events participants displayed their strength. One strong looking man took a lemon, cut it into two and squeezed almost 1/4th glass full of juice. Then he challenged the audience that if anyone could get another drop out of it he would be his pupil for the rest of his life. One puny looking man walked upto the stage and took up the challenge. All present laughed at his audacity. He took lemon peels one by one and lo behold squeezed almost same amount of juice again. Everyone was surprised. The strong man was shocked. He asked puny one what is his profession. The reply was “ I am an Income Tax Officer “.

After hectic work in office two women, one redhead and other blonde, were relaxing over steaming cups of coffee. TV was showing news in which a man was standing on ledge of fourth floor and was ready to jump down. The redhead told blonde that she would bet that the man would jump. The bet was settled for 25 dollars. The man jumped after few minutes. The blonde took out wallet to give money. The redhead told her to forget it as she would feel guilty taking the money because she had seen the same news at 2 pm telecast. The blonde replied “ It is ok. I also saw it but thought he would not jump this time “.

A man was hauled up in the court for banging his car at a crossing while overtaking from left side the car ahead driven by a woman which turned left. His defence was that woman had extended her hand fully outside towards right thus indicating she was turning right so he started overtaking her from left and she suddenly turned left. On this she said “ Oh, that. I was just drying nail polish on my right hand “.

A young couple took a month long sea voyage for belated honeymoon. A day prior to their return to mother port the husband told his wife that purser ( who generally is second important officer on ship ) is a big brag. On being asked he told that purser was boasting in the bar that during this voyage he has slept with every female on voyage except one. The wife said “ Oh, that must be the old biddy in cabin 7 “.

Well, that is it. Why not you too take it up as tag and share some good jokes?

Follow up on LOVE ??????

I had put my post LOVE?????? in o3.indiatimes.com too. A young lady had commented which alongwith my reply I am placing it here for your views.


HER COMMENT

Hi Uncle, Just read your BLOG.. I want to share once more incidence, which I read in some article. There is a girl involved with a boy since last 5 years. Initially, it was a plain friendship, but gradually they got into a relationship.. She loved him very deeply, but the boy had initially cleared her that he won't be able to convince anyone in his family for their marriage. She knew it, but still went into a physical relationship with that boy. The boy told her that he loved her too but due to some reasons he could not convince his parents. Later on, boy's family searched a match for him. At that point of time also, she tried to save the relationship so that it can get converted into marriage.. She cried, yelled & did every thing to save the relationship, But sadly, the boy got married.. She was outbroken with this, knowingly unknowingly she knew that it is not only the fault of boy.. but still she couldn't recover from it. & see the other side of the story, the boy still says that she will be having the same place in his life, what she had before his marriage.. He has also told her that they will not get into any physical relationship, because he respects her body and soul.. & he has kept his promise as of now.. The girl is still in love with that boy, & is very much heartbroken.. the boy doesn't let her go away from him, as he feels that she will die thinking the same thing again & again.. atleast he would be there to support her & to come out of this situation.. What is your opinion about this whole situation??


MY REPLY

Before saying anything on this I will make a general statement. Two persons get attracted to each other, become friends over a time they gradually fall in love. Over a period there is certain amount of physicality due to feeling of closeness and sharing of innermost thoughts. It starts with holding hands to hugging, peck on the cheek and it goes on further gradually with it being an individual choice to go all the way or not by consent based on intense feelings of love and mutual confidence. It is just normal. Physical needs are common between boys and girls. It can not be termed as right or wrong. Only hitch being that mostly it is the girl who is left broken hearted in the event of break up as she has given everything in the relationship. Now coming to what you said. The boy had told the girl right from beginning that there is no future as he would not be able to make his parents agree to their marriage. But as they were in deep love and she thought time may change situation so she willingly consented for whatever way the relationship progressed. Boy instead of exercising restraint gave in to his physical urges and went ahead with physicality while the girl loving him whole heartedly and living with hope that his parents may change their stance consented to go ahead with deeper relationship .

Now that he is married it is not ethical on his part to show love to the girl stating that there will be no physical relations but who can assure that they may not resume such relaitons in future. By doing this he is spoiling her future life for his selfishness. It could also be a case of boy ensuring fulfilment of his needs on rainy days. Girl on her part should realise that there is nothing tangible in such relationship unless she is hoping to break up the marriage. She should keep fond memories and move on. All contacts have to be severed immediately. She may go for counseling from someone she trusts. Before saying anything on this I will make a general statement. Two persons get attracted to each other, become friends over a time they gradually fall in love. Over a period there is certain amount of physicality due to feeling of closeness and sharing of innermost thoughts. It starts with holding hands to hugging, peck on the cheek and it goes on further gradually with it being an individual choice to go all the way or not by consent based on intense feelings of love and mutual confidence. It is just normal. Physical needs are common between boys and girls. It can not be termed as right or wrong. Only hitch being that mostly it is the girl who is left broken hearted in the event of break up as she has given everything in the relationship. Now coming to what you said. The boy had told the girl right from beginning that there is no future as he would not be able to make his parents agree to their marriage. But as they were in deep love and she thought time may change situation so she willingly consented for whatever way the relationship progressed. Boy instead of exercising restraint gave in to his physical urges and went ahead with physicality while the girl loving him whole heartedly and living with hope that his parents may change their stance consented to go ahead with deeper relationship . Now that he is married it is not ethical on his part to show love to the girl stating that there will be no physical relations but who can assure that they may not resume such relaitons in future. By doing this he is spoiling her future life for his selfishness. It could also be a case of boy ensuring fulfilment of his needs on rainy days. Girl on her part should realise that there is nothing tangible in such relationship unless she is hoping to break up the marriage. She should keep fond memories and move on. All contacts have to be severed immediately. She may go for counseling from someone she trusts.

HER REPLY

Very true... i wonder why in this era, people have such reservations regarding inter-caste marriages.. These days girls are becoming more courageous in choosing their life partners and boys have taken a back seat... they can easily get into a relationship, but think different when it comes to marriage. Then their first priority is their family...

TAG

Sakshi tagged me to do this and it is not possible for me to disappoint her, though late I am. It is quite simple tag. One has to say what comes in mind for each number from 1 to 10. So here it goes :

1. God is ONE and we give different names and shapes. We realize this truth only when we meet our creator.
2. Lovey- Dovey couple.
3. Everyone goes ga ga on first addition to family.
4. Hum Do Humare Do, Happy Family.
5. Panch Parmeshwar, Panj Pyare.
6. Sachin or Sehwag who else?
7. Lucky for all.
8. Roly Poly figure, no offences to anyone.
9. Almost there.
10. Perfect score in many spheres. Ask Bo Derek.

I am not tagging anyone but request those who wish to take it up to write honestly.

LOVE ??????

After reading some posts I felt deeply moved and wanted to be of whatever help possible to those who may need it. This made me think of what to write and how to begin but some reason or the other I could not marshal my thoughts to put them in letters. A shocking news in today’s ToI about a 23 years US student having been gang raped by 6 of her classmates shook me out of my slumber. I felt that I should not delay it anymore. I am certain that some of you may not like my stating the obvious truth which is generally not acknowledged. I have always believed that there should be no differentiation between boys and girls. But unfortunately this is also a bitter fact that girls are on the receiving end always. It is the way God has willed. Thus girls even in civil and broad minded society still have to be able to fend themselves. Apart from bringing up our two children, girl & boy, on equal footing I have had opportunity to inter-act with number of youngsters of both genders. I feel that I should share my experience with you all so we should not have another Nafisa Joseph or that budding TV star ( sorry, I miss the name ) again. It is a well known saying that a man will show love to have sex while a woman will consent for sex to have love. Based on this I will briefly narrate 3 out of some cases I had been asked to advise. No matter how friendly parents are there will be still some thing which children would not like to talk to them about. It is upto parents to foresee such situation and instill confidence in child to share his or her thoughts or actions.

First one relates to a fine young girl of about 23 who was deeply in love with a man few years elder to her. They were keen to marry inspite of being from different castes. Her parents had learnt about it. After some usual threats and hesitations they consented stipulating that the man should meet them. But he on some pretext or the other kept avoiding it. They were known to me. On their request I spoke to the girl. After a couple of meetings she confided in me and my doubt was confirmed that he was already married. He had two children also. They had met at some party and were drawn to each other. She was looking for steady boyfriend and he filled the slot. He told her that he was single. A few meetings later he coaxed her to have physical relations proposing to marry her. She by then was totally bowled over by his affectionate manners and as he promised marriage she consented. It was only after that he told her of his actual status. Though she was shocked but she could not come out of this as by then she was in love with him fro her heart. She believed him when he said that he would divorce his first wife and marry her. She continued doing whatever he wanted. And that had been going on for almost six months by the time I spoke to her. She quarreled with me when I told her that he would never do so and was using her for his lust. However after a long talk with patience she agreed to tell him that no more physical relations till he files for divorce. She frankly told me it would be difficult for her too as she also liked it. When she did what I asked her she saw his true side. He tried cajoling her, threatened her and even made her submit with brutal force. That is when she agreed to my advice not to see him any more. He kept persisting by sending messages through his staff. The mobiles were not so common at that time. She directed those messengers to me when it became intolerable. One day he came over to my office and told me not to interfere in his life. Polite requests did not make any headway. So I met his superiors as he was in Govt service. It was only after their intervention and informing him that they would be obliged to initiate legal action if the girl complained, he desisted from making further contact with her. I advised the girl that she should not speak about it to her would be husband in future and if inescapable could just say that she had been friendly with boys in college but not to discuss any details. This advice was as no matter how educated and broadminded one may be it will still pinch some corner of his mind if he knows that his wife has had her share of physicality irrespective of what may have been his past. I have not met or spoken to her after that and her parents too shifted to their native place but I heard that she is happily married.

Second is about a girl of just below 20 who was studying in college out of town and stayed in the hostel. Her mother, whom I looked at as sister due to her brother being my long time friend, told me once when girl was home on holidays that her behavior was totally changed and she was found shouting & using profanities on telephone to someone. She wanted me to intervene as girl refused to say anything to her. I had a very long discussion with the girl and had to use my patience much beyond limits. Once she understood that I mean no harm but am there to help her, she confided that she has developed physical relations with her room mate who also belonged to Delhi. She also told that though she has had physical relations with a boyfriend but was happy in the present relationship. They intended to get married and live as a couple. This was much before the present supportive processions. The other girl was more dominant or husband like. The shouting on telephone was as she used to tell her not to do certain things or go out in certain attires when alone. I explained to her that it is her choice as to what relationship she wishes but presently our society was not ready to accept such couples. She understood after a lot of arguments specially that her mother would be devastated once she learns this. She agreed that she likes heterosexual relations too. My advice was that she should follow her conscience but keep standing of her family and herself in the society in mind while taking any decision. I also told her to be discrete. It was almost six years ago. She has got engaged to a fine young man. Though I have not asked but know that she does spend time with her girlfriend on week ends at times.

Third is about a student of 12th class. She had got marks in 90%s in her 10th Board but in 11th her performance dipped drastically. Her mother got worried and approached me through someone who knew that I do counsel youngsters. This girl was at first unwilling to speak anything. It took me 3 meetings to win her trust. She told me that she met a boy of same class but in different school when she was in 11th. They became friendly which developed in love gradually. After a few weeks of meeting regularly they got onto hugging and kissing stage. On my gradual leading she accepted that they had gone far beyond that but insisted that not the whole way. I did not want to embarrass her by asking more so I let it go at that. My advice to her was that for everything there is time and age. Presently she should concentrate on her studies as unless she gets good marks her future will be uncertain. And same goes for him too. How she lives her life is her own decision as she is not a toddler but she has to understand that there are some expectations of her parents which she can not just ignore. I also told her that whatever she does should be after full application of her mind and clear conscience without any peer pressure. I drafted a daily time table for her allowing time for not only studies but for outings, talking to friends on telephone and even for parties as needed. She liked the idea of such daily schedule. I met her a few more times after that and was impressed with her dedication to follow set routine. She scored more than 85% in 12th Board making her parents proud. It is over 3 years now and have neither met her or her mother.

My intention of bringing it out here is to emphasize that instead of taking hasty decisions under euphoria of being in love and later being left heart broken or becoming a victim of lust girls need to apply mind fully before making any commitment. It may seem impractical as cupid strikes without warning ( I have already accepted that in my earlier post ) but fact still remains that though girls have as much right to live life as they want just like boys but being GIRL they still have to take precautions to ensure their wellbeing.

Need of the Hour

India is a very vast nation with diverse cultures, languages, customs, religions, castes, creeds and personal appearances. We feel proud that we are a developing nation and have a strong desire to see that we are in Developed Nations Club by 2020. But is it possible? Let us carry out SWOT analysis.

STRENGTHS : We have rich heritage. We have been pioneers in many fields. We have vast land which is mostly fertile. We are blessed with landscape diversely rich in nature which is tourist’s paradise. We are rich with minerals. Our natural resources are in abundance waiting to be tapped properly. We have large intelligent population. We have rich culture with long tested traditions and it has adopted many good traits of other cultures. Our culture has withstood aggressions of many invaders and still survived coming out stronger. We have deep love for our country. We are brave though very tolerant. We have burning desire to be ON TOP again thus getting back our past GLORIOUS STATUS.

WEAKNESSES : Legacy of “ Bakshish “ culture introduced by the British has grown into enormous proportions of CORRUPTION fondly nurtured by our politicians for their vested interests. We are caste & creed conscious. Thinking of majority of population is still confined to regionalism.We do not have one ethnic linking language accepted by one and all. Majority of our population can still get carried away by forceful speeches without any substance by unscrupulous politician who exploit regional and caste issues for their gain. “ Chalta Hai “ attitude of majority unwilling to take a stand to bring out change. Criminalisation of politics. Unfortunately our leaders are not farsighted as they tend to confine to what is there at present or at the maximum only a couple of years hence.

OPPROTUNITIES : It is certain that with our vast resources available including skilled manpower we have capacity to lead in fields of IT, Medicine and number of Technical avenues. It has been stated that many of the skilled personnel in NASA as well as in IT field in USA are of Indian origin.

THREATS : Our biggest threat in not from outside, say our neighbors, but from within. With unlimited number of political parties it is virtually a “ Khichari “. Precious time of our leaders who wish to see India progressing is wasted in placating dissidence within the party. Any dissatisfied member of a party floats another party with a handful of his or her supporters causing undue division of public. Last decade or so we have seen amalgamation of parties forming government at centre with small regional parties with just a handful of MPs holding government to ransom. Regionalist calls given by politicians who feel insecure of their position and wish to strengthen the same without even giving a thought to what harm it is doing to our national integration.

In the Balance Sheet we can safely say that though we have the capacity and will to be ON TOP but manmade hurdles make it very difficult. To overcome these hurdles we need to educate our masses to see the reality. We need to tell these selfish leaders to stop trying to divide India again on regional or religion or caste basis for their vested gains. Let us all vow to BE INDIAN FIRST and anything else later.